Out of the game for too long/relationship issue

[Tairance]

Hey everyone, I'm new to these forums but certainly not new to the community of PUAs and Seduction Experts. I started back in 2007 when I was about 17 and spent plenty of time doing my homework and perfecting game over the course of 2-3 years. I was in decent shape, confident, and feel as if I had pretty good game. I had no issues with approaches and could pull without an issue, I was no professional but I was pretty happy where I was at. My in phone and internet game was top notch, in-person game was on par and bedroom game was more than sufficient for that point in my life. I was a regular on the paragon project forums and began helping other AFCs with their game.

Then I met a girl, originally intended to be a one night stand. Took her on a date but never closed the deal; naturally I asked her out again, and eventually obtained my goal. Then started to actually like her and eventually dated her for 5 years. We have done everything together! Taken trips, bought a house, I mean she sounds like the one.

This was the case until 3 weeks ago, I've been feeling a little bored with our relationship. Don't get it twisted things are great, we never fight/argue and sex life is in check. But for some reason I'm just not feeling it, we talk daily. But our relationship isn't exactly the problem (I don't think).

The real issue I am experiencing is with other women. During my initial peak of boredom I figured I would just test the waters and see what's out there. Play around a little and perhaps cure my boredom as my favourite pastime wasn't playing sports like regular male teens it was picking up and flirting with girls.

I downloaded tinder (as a suggestion from a friend) and quickly became hooked. Multiple matches daily was awesome, this boosted confidence and certainly curbed my boredom.. For a short while. I then received my first message, this was amazing! I quickly replied and turned my charm on just as I used to. The conversation quickly died and I moved on without even thinking about it twice. A few days later it hit me and I realized I couldn't hold a damn conversation with a girl who was clearly interested, I scanned the conversation and (so I thought) found all my mistakes and decided to contact another girl to redeem myself. Calling on all my previous knowledge I was set out for sure success and everything would be back to normal. This was not the case.

I then rationalized tinder wasn't serious enough and moved to other alternatives with the sane result of 0. Absolutely no success on any platform, something was seriously wrong here. This wasn't me, I'm usually pretty good at this stuff but maybe times have changed and I'm just not "hip" enough anymore. All was well, I deleted all my accounts and decided to move on. A few days passed and again, this suddenly hit me like train "why have I had no success!?". At this point I was frustrated and desperate so I went to a bar and did the typical scan, following routine and did some approaches. Everything was good, until I finally found one girl I liked and tried to move things along with. It started out just like all my internet conversations. Great start, horrible ending.

This has left me feeling defeated but determined, I began talking to girls on my Facebook that i had previously picked up but never closed on. Started texting but everything quickly went south so I hit the books trying to brush up on my skills and reading, reading with more reading. I made a last ditch effort and contacted this girl I used to have a thing for back in high school. This girl was amazing, she wanted me but I was too preoccupied with other things to actually make a move. I figured this would be a good test because it should be easy, past history, a good knowledge of her. Shooting fish in a barrel right?

Almost, but close enough. Began texting her and she was really into it. We talked about everything! The weirdest part is.. It's like we never stopped talking. Things were soo natural, we even did this thing we used to do back in the day where we would make fun of something and each take a turn adding to it (it's lame I know but it's pretty fun haha) so this went on for 2 days then like everything began to fall off and haven't texted her in a day. The most messed up part is.. I can't stop thinking about this girl. I haven't been able to just move on like previous so I need to finish this one off as a means of redeeming myself.

I don't necessarily want to have sex with her, but I certainly want to know if I could. We agreed that when I'm back in town we should go for coffee so that's still an option but when I told her the other day that my flight is booked and I'll be home in a week she seemed less than enthusiastic. It was actually like my flight is booked, I'll be back home in a week!" Her reply was "yayaya" And that's where I left it. Haven't texted her since. Im not sure why, but this actually means a lot to me. For the first time in a year or two I felt excited and not bored which brings me to not wanting to f***k this up haha

I'm looking for help on how I should approach this entire situation, should I just shut it down and forget about it? After all, I do have a girlfriend I love and trust. Should I pursue this girl I once had great feelings for and let go and have been given a second chance with and see what comes of this?

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I haven't had a chance to let this off my mind or talk with anyone about it. I know the boards are the only place I could ever get the advice I need haha

Anyone's input is valued, this is the first time in my life I have ever been this confused, lack of confidence and downright messed up haha

Thanks guys!

 

[Franco]

Tairance,

Well, five years is a long time to be with someone, so you have to decide whether or not you want to continue being with that same someone or if your urge to go out and meet and experience new women is stronger. Based on what you've already done, it sounds like you're not really willing to continue this relationship without outside stimulation, and pursuing it while still being in a monogamous relationship is probably going to lead to heartbreak for your girlfriend down the road.

You need to decide on your own whether or not you think continuing to see your girlfriend is going to give you the satisfaction that you want. You need to make sure that you've done everything you can to keep your relationship exciting because you don't want to leave her and then find out later that she does those "exciting" things you never did with another guy. You want to make sure you've experienced it all with her.

If you have, and you're still having a craving for meeting new women, then it might be time to have a talk with her and end things. Your concern right now might lie in the fact that you're afraid you've "lost your game" over the years, and that breaking up with your girlfriend will leave you alone and incapable of picking up women. In reality, that's probably not the case. You're likely just extremely rusty, and you're also using difficult means (Tinder/Facebook) to try to validate that you still have "game," but both of those mediums for meeting girls are very number-oriented (meaning you'll need to swipe right and/or message 100+ girls before you may even get one date). So it's best to just approach women in person if approach anxiety isn't something that bothers you.

Anyway, you need to make this decision on your own. If you do decide to end things with your girlfriend, I suggest you throw yourself RIGHT back into approaching women as soon as humanly possible. The more quickly you start taking girls to bed, the less you will be thinking "needy" thoughts about your girlfriend and end up feeling like you made the wrong decision.

Hope that helps!

- Franco