Overcoming Buyer's Remorse

[Chris92]

Long story short, met a girl had an amazing first date and ended up kissing a lot. Girl was on an emotional high and suggested we visit a thermal bath the very next day as it was the holiday period and we were both free. Ended up going to the the thermal bath and making out a lot and I understand now that it was a huge mistake as I did not have any chance of having sex but ended up probably turning her on a lot.

The next day, she turns cold and distant. I was about to invite her to come over again just a day later but stopped in my tracks and a friend advised me that the girl has buyer's remorse now and that the only hope of turning it around is to now take a huge step back, assure her that you want to meet her again and actually get to know her slowly and that you aren't looking for a quick fling (which I am not). I do that and tell her what I feel honestly. She immediately turns from being cold and opens up and starts talking about how she enjoyed the 2 days as well but she is now feeling pressured that since she made out with me so much, she has to be my girlfriend and that she doesn't know me much and hence wanted to slow down.

I empathize and tell her that I want to get to know her slowly as well and that I don't expect or consider her to owe me anything just because of us fooling around. She has now agreed to meet me for coffee this week. How do I behave when I meet her? Go back and start off like how I did on the first date and ignore what happened previously? Acknowledge what happened before, reassure her and then go back to being the funny carefree guy that I was on the first date? Or do I keep it completely non flirty and just build a lot of comfort so that she is willing to see me again and then take it from there?
Your advice and comments would be extremely helpful.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dude,

A have a few issues with how ya handled this, however that doesnt matter cause ya got the end result yah?? Ya got her out in person an thats the most important thing! This is where ya turn it around!

Cause of how this was set up yah? ya cant just jump in head first cause it will make ya words meaningless and ya will appear a liar an that isn't what a strong man looks like. That said ya can't go to cold on her cause this will create distance an thats not what ya want and ya also dont want to get to know her as slow as suggested. Thats a recipe for disaster yah?? Ya give yourself to many hurdles and to many places to fuck up an then all ya acheive is wasting ya time!!

A always hate to say react to her because then ya not in complete control of the situation but a case of mirroring her here will help greatly. Cause ya have already made out first thing ya meet ya go for the kiss and ya break the touch barrier. Ya trying to get to know each other again but stepping away from intimacy aint gettin ya to know her yah?? So go in an get the awkwardness out of the way but then cool it a bit. Still be carefree an like yaself but dont reasure her ya already done that or she wouldnt be coming out!! ignore the shit and focus on whats moving ya forward. If she aint playing ball and keep more distant it means she wants more report an then ya will have to slow down or she'll auto reject.

Theres a combination of warm and cold that ya need here and ya either go colder or warmer on her reaction. Dont acknowledge what happened previously though! Pointless going back on yaself an it will look like ya apologising for ya desire for her which is weak. Dont go non flirty unless shes totally cold, ya want to build them feelings with her or ya become very platonic. Ya want her in a sexual way yahh? Gotta express that unless shes cold an then thats when ya go non flirty and cold yaself. Hope this helps ya dude!!