Ozz's Journal

Grand Pooba

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Hey guys,

I've been following and reading Girl's Chase for well over a year now. Now in my mid 20's, most of my life I've been very awkward around girls, mainly because I just didn't know what to do. I've passed on countless opportunities with great girls because of my reservations, inexperience, and foolishness, many which I look back in regret. I started making inroads to change this last year, when I finally had enough. Prior to last summer, and right around the time I started to read and apply what I'd read on Girlschase, I managed to get three simultaneous casual relationships going for a few months, one of which turned serious and which I've been until now, a year and a few months later. Newly single, I'm ready to get right back into this, and do better than I did before.

Right now, I feel like quite the chump: with low self esteem and plenty of other anxieties and issues (like losing a job a month ago). But in this happening I feel a sense of determination to become focused and really, really good at this process, and being a successful, sexy man that has an abundance mentality and the results to show for it.

I hope that keeping this blog will showcase my progress and also inspire me to keep it going. I'll be updating periodically when I have time.
 

Grand Pooba

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One of my biggest setbacks right now is approach anxiety, that is mainly knowing what to say and convincing myself to say something to someone in the first place. I talk myself out of doing things, which extends not only to girls but also in job hunting, and going to the gym, and going out to do life errands. I would rather sit at home and do nothing, which is sad. So today, I set out to just go out and talk.

On the platform waiting for a train, I asked a woman for the time, then asked if she was going anywhere interesting. She said no. I told her the weather is great, she said doing anything today would be great. I said have a nice day. I could have kept this going longer, I should have asked what she would do if she could do anything.

Later in an elevator i asked a woman about the magazine she was reading and just made small talk.

••

Saturday night, i went to a crowded bar called Elsa. My goal is to talk to ten girls before I call it off and go home. I had a wingman friend join halfway through as we bounced around from place to place.

#1. Carolina. I approached by positioning myself on her right side as she was turned to her left talking to her friend. I ordered water, then asked about what she was drinking. We made small talk about her college, but i started touching her back, maybe too soon. Within five minutes her and her friend got up and relocated.

#2 Brittany: I told her she was cute because she stood on her tip toes to get the bartenders attention. She said she was here with someone, then I left.

#3 Jackie: I met a cute girl outside waiting for her friends, it seemed she was into me and got close to me quickly. She was visiting from California. We had some really good banter, eventually her friends came and they started walking somewhere. She offered first to let my friend and I come with her, but then by the end of the block she just gave me her number. It seems she just wanted to get rid of me. In retrospect, I should have done a compliance check like a kiss on the cheek maybe. I texted her within an hour, only to get her name wrong "Becky" instead of "Jackie". Salvageable?

#4. Tiffany: one if Jackie's friends. Talked to her briefly before going back to Jackie.

#5: Zara: a girl came by with her friend, and her friend managed to remove us from our seats at the bar. I feel pretty chumpish. When I tried talking to them again, I tried to.playfully make fun of them for what they did, but instead just came off as rude and they weren't happy at all.

#6. R: started talking to a girl, which went well for about fifteen minutes. I asked for her information to hang out later on, but she has a boyfriend. I said he doesn't need to know, and she laughed, and it didn't go anywhere.

#7. April: R's friend. R was here with two girl.friends, April one of them. I briefly bantered with her, and over the night she kept looking at me. I offered that we dance, she said "we are already dancing here". I walked away and came back later, said that we should hang out another day, lets trade info, to which she said she will give her number. I proceeded to pull out my phone and talked to her about other stuff, but couldn't pull it off before the blond friend, whom while cute was not being talked to by anybody there, cockblocked me. She said "we're trying to hang out after forever" and that was the end. So this was a fail.

#8. I talked to a girl in the front whose boyfriend was at the bar. She had been eyeing me earlier in the night anyway, and she was alone at the time. I walked away soon after.

I didn't truly attempt a #9 and #10, my friend at this point was far too belligerent for either of us and I simply decided to drive him home. He had already tried to start a confrontation at one place late in the night, it didn't seem worth it.



What did I learn and see: I noticed plenty of girls making eye contact with me, some multiple times. Perhaps they think I am cute. Also, I managed to get to eight our of ten before calling it off and going home. Still not my target, but I am glad that this time I at least tried. Also, I approached, which is good, even if it's a social setting. I picked up on some signs and took opportunities.

What didn't work at all: I think I messed up just about everything else. My fundamentals suck, and they need a lot of improvement. Girls seem to take advantage of me all over the place, and perhaps I am far too complacent. Also, though I didn't drink before my friend came, I started afterwards, and that messed up my interactions later on. I have to definitely get better at maneuvering, deep diving and making real conversation, and being a bigger leader.

All in all, I didn't do well at all. This feels like it is going to be a long struggle ahead.
 

Grand Pooba

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Yesterday I practiced day game for one hour. My friend and I walked around a whole foods and around a park in the city, and we decided to time each other's interactions as well as took turns approaching girls and seeing how far we could get. Our goal is to make approaching fun and something that should come second nature, thus boosting our confidence.

We were actually part of a group that met up specifically to practice this; my new friend Art and I chose Whole Foods first, where there happened to be a plethora of young women shopping by themselves.

My general strategy was to approach the girl from the side, tap her lightly on her elbow, then step back and say, "sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, but I really like your style. Especially your shoes! Where are they from?" and go from there.
It was difficult to get started at first, but my friend volunteered to start, and watching him made it easier to go myself. In about half an hour I approached and talked to eight women with interactions that lasted from twenty seconds to five minutes. With the one I made most progress on, I found out she worked in the wine business, which made things easy for me because I happen to know a lot about alcohol. Unfortunately, when I told her I had to go and asked for her number, I saw she was married and she outright refused to give it to me to continue the interaction. Now I didn't know where else to take it.

Art and I discovered our new problem: we felt fairly comfortable in approaching, but now transitions started to become issues. We were both hitting the same wall where we made small talk for a few minutes, but then didn't know what else to say before it got awkward and we both closed by wishing the girl to have a nice day.
In consulting one of the leaders of this meet-up, he suggested transitioning to find out about them. Right after introductions and opening, he suggested that we find out one or two things about the person we were talking to, and work off that.

Both of us now walked into the park, and I saw a cute girl standing by herself watching an artist on the ground. I started talking to her about her shoes, which were bright pink, and I told her that they reminded me of Wendy Davis, the Texas senator who threw a filibuster for ten hours in bright pink shoes. She laughed, and then I led the conversation. I transitioned into talking about art, and her about her school. It turns out she's a student at Pratt in fine arts, and I happen to be well versed in architecture. We have something slightly in common!

I asked her how much time she has, and it seemed like she was just there to hang out and enjoy the day. I told her I would have to leave to meet my friend at a nearby Starbucks when he texts me, but till then we should walk around and hang out. I moved her around the park, first to another area where there was art. She showed me a book that she just bought, and I made sure to touch her elbow repeatedly though she did not reciprocate. We talked about life in Ohio and in New York, before I moved her again to a bench in another area in the park. She laughed frequently and seemed to find me charming.

I found out that she is:
-Artistic
-A senior in college at Pratt
-Introverted and kind of a loner
-From Ohio, but is also quite well traveled and has ambitions to go to Europe
-Has studied abroad in Australia
-Likes to watch shows in her free time

About fifteen minutes later, I told her that we should get together again, but she resisted and first asked "you mean as friends or something else;" I said, "I don't know, it could be that, maybe more, maybe less," and asked her about her schedule. She refused to share anything and then said that she wouldn't give me her number, that she'd like to keep this interaction strictly as strangers. I continued the conversation on a different topic and tried again five minutes later, taking out my phone and presenting it to her. She again refused; I wanted to meet with my group before they disbanded, so I said bye and we parted ways.

I feel like with more skill and experience I could have probably closed this interaction and taken her home in some capacity if I had stayed longer and transitioned into something else, something more sexual as she seemed somewhat open to it, but I am happy that I was at least able to talk to a random stranger on the street, move her around, and talk to her for twenty minutes, even if I wasn't able to get her number from her. I went back to meet up with the group and report my progress; we then disbanded. The leader suggested that next time, rather than simply trying to get her number, I suggest an activity she may be interested in that we could do together. That may be a way to get past this wall.

In the evening, I complimented and chatted to a girl at the gym without any hesitation, who happened to be walking out as well. She wasn't receptive, but I still tried and I'm glad I did it. On a train home, I saw someone cute nearby and wanted to talk, but decided against it. Next time I am going to push myself even if I don't feel like it. I will continue to work out the kinks in my approach, my anxiety, and in my transitions.
 

metomeya

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Looks like you are making great progress.

Seems like your sticking point is now going from having them talk to themselves to getting their number/convincing them to hangout.

Have you considered seeding? Just throw in some information you can bring up later like, "Oh ya, I love this city too. My friends and I have just started going to this karaoke bar. But anyways what were you saying about [blah blah]." Then at the end you can say "hey you seem pretty cool see you later." Start to walk away, then turn around and say, "Hey I just had an idea, you want to join us at the karaoke bar" her: "[blah blah] no thats okay" You: "oh come on it'll be fun" then just take out your phone and give it to her.
 

Grand Pooba

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Hey Metomeya,

Thanks for your input. I will try this next time and interject a plan or location mid-conversation. I think a good route might be to discuss coffee or coffee shops, and then suggest my favorite one.

Next day of practice this week is tomorrow.
 

metomeya

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Sounds good. I think anything that is a lot of fun (night club, karaoke, water park) with friends might be the best option. Then you are just hanging out for fun instead of it being a date. Much harder to turn down. Just my two cents.

But a note on that, it might be best to have those friends be female, just so there isn't a chance she starts to like one of your male friends before liking you.
 

PrettyDecent

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Ozz,

Great to see the headway your making past AA and the first interaction...keep it up!

Nick
 

Grand Pooba

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Progress report for Tuesday, and I'll partition this into three sections:

1. Establishing my goals for where I eventually want to be.
2. What I did to practice Tuesday.
3. A coffee date I had set up Tuesday with a conservative, innocent, religious girl.

---MY GOALS---

1. I want multiple, simultaneous casual relationships. Ideally I want to have a bench of between 4 and 6 girls, but at least 2-3, at any given time.

2. I do not want to have a serious relationship with any single girl until I have perfected my game, process, and method at least 80-90% of the way, with results to show. The reason for this is because I do not want to lose momentum in the whole process.

3. I want to be able to go out to bars, clubs, and lounges and regularly be able to pull new girls there and then. This is something I've never, ever been good at, even when girls have thrown themselves at me.

4. I want to get better with women in general: in understanding them, in reading their signals, in being decisive with what they want and what I want. One of my biggest regrets in the past has been women throwing themselves at me, and putting up tons and tons of signals of their interest, only to be disappointed that I unwillingly ignored them because I was too slow to see what was really going on. I've walked away countless times and realized five minutes later "oh shit, she wanted to hook up,"...and it's a feeling I never want to have again.

5. I want to become a raw, confident, sexual man.

6. I want to apply my understanding, decisiveness, and control into other areas of my life.

---TUESDAY---

I headed into the city today to go to the gym and have a small coffee date with a girl I met about a month ago. I met her at a university alumni event, and immediately I recognized that she is probably innocent, seems very devout religious, and may be difficult to attain in the way I want. Nevertheless, I also deduced that any sort of date with her would be good practice for future women with whom I may take on the same coffee date.

I talked to three girls on my way there:

1. As I was leaving the train, among a huge crowd, one girl in a white shirt kept looking back my way. The first time we made eye contact; the second times she glanced my way but I looked down. As I got closer to her I touched her lightly on the elbow and commented that I liked her shoes, and asked where they were from. Her response was cold and confused; she didn't hear me the first time, and when I repeated myself she just said "thanks" and ignored me. We went in different directions and I told her to "have a nice day!" with a large smile on my face.'

2. A woman held a door open for me into the subway. I caught up with her and made brief small talk about her shoes. I think I waited too long to do this.


One issue that already comes to mind is my pre-opening. I think I need to work out the kinks in this process, as I am being either too forceful, or not assertive and smooth enough. I need to work on my consistency with my positioning, the length of my touch, and use the lingering touch (something I have not yet tried). With this, I will couple a sexy smile, and let her look at me first before I make the eye contact.


3. I went and got dinner at a burrito place, and the only seat open was next to a cute girl and her friend. I sat down and ate my burrito peacefully until I made a remark about her clothes, that I'd never seen anyone wear sweater arm warmers beneath a sweatshirt like she was. The girl was cute, then I noticed that she had a strong accent, so I immediately went to "oh, where are you all from?" Her friend, a guy, lived in the city, and she was visiting from Switzerland. I began mainly by engaging the guy first, then over time shifted the conversation more and more to her.

Long story short, we ended up in a conversation for twenty minutes, and I had her give me her email address so that we might coordinate meeting at some point in the future. I don't think this will ever happen, as she was leaving in two days. I suggested we do something the night after, but I have sent her an email and not heard back.

---COFFEE DATE---

I had a coffee date lined up with a very conservative, innocent, and religious girl I had met a while back. I had a feeling that she was all of these things just by the way she talked, and last night all my suspicions were confirmed: this girl has never had a boyfriend, seems to only want marriage and "the one," and has turned to God and Jesus because in high school she was lost, depressed, and kind of a social outcast.

Nevertheless, while I don't think this is going to go anywhere, nor am I really willing to invest a ton of time on this girl, I did manage to open her up more in two hours than she has opened up to people before, which she commented on:

- We discussed spirituality, and I had her open up about her past and deep dive into it to reveal what sources of frustrations she had that led her this way.

- I asked her about her goals, dreams, and what she aspires to be in her life. For her, a lot of it is serving God and her future husband.

- I asked her about her previous relationships, to which she said she had none, but that in the past and in college she had plenty of encounters with guys that liked her, and that she didn't realize did, to the dismay of both, the guy losing romantically and her losing a "friend." It seems this girl has never had anything physical, ever, nor does she seem too open to it.

- I asked her if she'd ever been on a date, and she said no. She said she thought sometimes she was hanging out as friends when it actually was a date in the other person's eyes. I asked her if she realized that we were on a date now, and she was surprised. I then told her that I'm not sure if she's my type, and then she gave a sigh of relief (bad move on my part?). I asked her why she did this, and she said "now we can be friends!" and I replied that I didn't know what she meant, because I never put people in boxes off the bat. I told her that in life you never know what's going to happen, and people and emotions change. She agreed.

- In the end, I got slightly more physical with my behavior, I managed a tight hug, but I still know that this isn't going anywhere. Practice is practice.
 

Grand Pooba

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Cold Approaches: 3
Warm Approaches: 4
Did I advance in my goals? Yes

---

I went into the city Wednesday for a meetup group. On the way I talked to one stranger on the train for 10 seconds, and also had a twenty minute conversation with a girl while in line for sandwiches for dinner. I got to know her a little bit, but when I needed to leave and asked for her number, I was rejected. Rejections are a good thing, in my mind, but I still don't fully believe that, and I'm still trying to get over the hump of not trying. On the subway I talked to one random stranger about her shoes.

One thing I'm beginning to work on is my posture. I feel that I will need to improve my fundamentals sufficiently to get more adept at the later stages. Anyway, they certainly can't hurt. At the meetup, of which one part is people assessing their judgements of others in the room, some people seemed to notice a sense of confidence and security around me: namely, some guys came up to me later and called me a sexy man. Others said that they sensed this fire beneath the surface waiting to come up, but that a part of me was also holding back in expressing it. Whatever, I'll take it!

I got one phone number here, and I suggested we meet Sunday. She said she's really busy, but will try and seemed sort of maybe interested. She was with a friend that she came with, so I wasn't able to take her out right then and there, but seems like a shy yet creative girl who might have a bit to learn about life.
 

Grand Pooba

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Cold Approaches: 1
Approaches at bars: 7
Did I advance in my goals? Sort of

---

Went into the city to meet a friend for dinner. Chatted with a girl I sat next to on the subway for a few minutes, my one cold approach. I spent most of today walking around tall with a great posture, and definitely saw a few girls hold eye contact with me on the street. And yet another man told me I'm good looking...not sure what this deal is.

A friend and I went bar hopping to test our game. I fell flat nearly every time...I run into problems transitioning the conversation, and while my friend has a very boisterous approach, loud and talkative, I tend to be more reserved and quieter, softer in my approaches. I blew out my game 4 of the 7 times I approached, and only made extended conversation with two women, of which one I did to keep my friend occupied with her friend so that he could get her number, which he did. I think a large part of the way I blew it out is in my approach and getting their initial focus, while moving a conversation along in a more meaningful way. Or perhaps the issue is that I am not yet screening out girls the right way. It could also be a choice of venue, as the main place we went tonight is a lounge girls go with their friends to grab a drink.

There came a point in the night where I started to feel very low and bad about myself, and in some ways going out to bars to do this does make me feel like utter shit, because I am getting no closer to where I was before. I am sure that affected my confidence in my later interactions.
 

Grand Pooba

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Cold Approaches Yesterday: 4

----

I had a cool experience Monday:

First off, i have definitely felt a little drained after the last week, with a lot of work and no discernable real results. On the other hand, I have been making progress, but a bit of the will to keep going was running low.

I took a train into the city, and on the way out, I noticed a very attractive girl, young and blond, and the opportunity was just there. She was walking and texting in this crowd, and I immediately approached by touching her lightly on the elbow.

Me: "Hey, I just wanted to say I really like your style."
Her: "oh, thanks!"
Me: "Are you in fashion?"
Her: "Actually, yes I am, I'm in school."
Me: "Oh, wow, what a coincidence! Where at?"
Her: "I go to FIT, I am in my second year."
Me: "that's great!" at this point the conversation had lasted about 20 seconds and I had a moment of doubt about what to say. "Well have a nice night"

I started to walk away, then told myself to say something, slowed down, and said: "Are you going anywhere interesting?"
Her: "Yeah just dinner with a friend."
Me: "It must be really far for you to live in Westchester and commute to school and friends."
Her: "yeah but I am moving into the city in November, to Lex and 33rd"

At this point I started to run out of things to say. In retrospect I should have found out how much time she had, changed my own plans which weren't really time sensitive, and see if she had time for a quick coffee before her dinner. Instead, we got caught up in some traffic, I missed the opportunity, and she said "Sorry, I have to go this way," to which I said "Have a nice day!" and walked off. The whole interaction probably took a minute, maybe less, but it seemed like it was actually going somewhere and her body language just felt...positive.

I don't know what to say. On one hand, I am a little upset that I botched what seems to me the most promising day game I have yet to do. On the other hand, I handled the opening well (comments guys?). My fundamentals were spot on, with good posture and strong eye contact. At a time where I felt like slowing down, I just went for it, and instinct took over, and then I hit a wall on a part I have not yet practiced. This was one of the best looking girls I have ever talked to.

I just need more practice. How much cold approaching should I aim for in a day or a week? Does anyone have a good regimen to follow?

----

Today I had a lunch date with a girl, and I am not sure if it's a just friends thing or not. I hope not. This girl has been so far not giving many signals of interest, but I did ask her if she's seeing someone and she said no. I haven't gotten too physical, but the times I touched her on the elbow sometimes made her jittery.

I've toned down how aggressive I am with touching since the weekend, because I got feedback on that.
 

PrettyDecent

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Ozz said:
I don't know what to say. On one hand, I am a little upset that I botched what seems to me the most promising day game I have yet to do. On the other hand, I handled the opening well (comments guys?). My fundamentals were spot on, with good posture and strong eye contact.
Nice. The first line of the opener was authentic, and it opened well. And when you feel your fundamentals feel spot on like that, its a sign you started the approach on the right foot.

Ozz said:
I started to walk away, then told myself to say something, slowed down, and said: "Are you going anywhere interesting?"
Her: "Yeah just dinner with a friend."
Me: "It must be really far for you to live in Westchester and commute to school and friends."
Her: "yeah but I am moving into the city in November, to Lex and 33rd"

At this point I started to run out of things to say. In retrospect I should have found out how much time she had, changed my own plans which weren't really time sensitive, and see if she had time for a quick coffee before her dinner.
Setting instant dates are tricky, and it needs to be when both people have a few hours of free time available. Lest it would ruin the intrigue and her view of you as a man who moves quickly (if you can't go for the close that night). Here, something like "Well, look. I think you're incredibly cute, and I'd love to get to know you a bit better, but I'm absolutely strapped for time. So how about this: I'll grab your number real quick, and then when we both have a free minute, I'll call you and we can grab a bite to eat later. Cool?" would have worked. And if your fundamentals were really kickin', then she'd agree, and if not, whatever. You've spent less than 2 minutes on the interaction :).

Ozz said:
I just need more practice. How much cold approaching should I aim for in a day or a week? Does anyone have a good regimen to follow?
Chase recommends 4 days a week with 8 girls each. The Tool said he'd meet 2-6 new women a day, and did that for 3 months before his current LTR. Lots of different answers. I think it depends on A.) How socially uncalibrated you are (from what I can tell, you seem pretty socially attuned) and B.) How fast you want results. Whatever you decide on, make sure to do deliberate practice - as in taking out 2 or 3 things everytime you go out that you want to focus on specifically in an interaction. (i.e. Today I must: banter w/in 30 seconds of opener, work on posture while talking, and move her within 2 minutes of interaction).

That was a long winded response! I can tell you already know what you're doing, but hopefully that helps :)

~Nick
 

Marty

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Hey Nick:
PrettyDecent said:
Here, something like "Well, look. I think you're incredibly cute, and I'd love to get to know you a bit better, but I'm absolutely strapped for time. So how about this: I'll grab your number real quick, and then when we both have a free minute, I'll call you and we can grab a bite to eat later. Cool?" would have worked.
Boy, do I love this! It's confident, charming, persuasive and smooth. Thank you for that tip and I will be sure to give it a road-test :)

-Marty
 

Grand Pooba

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PrettyDecent said:
Setting instant dates are tricky, and it needs to be when both people have a few hours of free time available. Lest it would ruin the intrigue and her view of you as a man who moves quickly (if you can't go for the close that night). Here, something like "Well, look. I think you're incredibly cute, and I'd love to get to know you a bit better, but I'm absolutely strapped for time. So how about this: I'll grab your number real quick, and then when we both have a free minute, I'll call you and we can grab a bite to eat later. Cool?" would have worked. And if your fundamentals were really kickin', then she'd agree, and if not, whatever. You've spent less than 2 minutes on the interaction :).

Ozz said:
I just need more practice. How much cold approaching should I aim for in a day or a week? Does anyone have a good regimen to follow?
Chase recommends 4 days a week with 8 girls each. The Tool said he'd meet 2-6 new women a day, and did that for 3 months before his current LTR. Lots of different answers. I think it depends on A.) How socially uncalibrated you are (from what I can tell, you seem pretty socially attuned) and B.) How fast you want results. Whatever you decide on, make sure to do deliberate practice - as in taking out 2 or 3 things everytime you go out that you want to focus on specifically in an interaction. (i.e. Today I must: banter w/in 30 seconds of opener, work on posture while talking, and move her within 2 minutes of interaction).

That was a long winded response! I can tell you already know what you're doing, but hopefully that helps :)

~Nick
Nick...this is so helpful, and thank you for taking the time to break this down. I am sure a similar situation will happen again, and I am definitely going to steal this and memorize it for the playbook. At least until I get good enough to do it organically.

I actually don't feel that socially attuned. Typically I tend to attract girls but have never been good at seeing the signals and acting on them. It is also very difficult for me to think on my feet as quickly as seduction requires, which is being two or three steps ahead at every turn. I am tired of not knowing what to do. It is going to be a big mental push, but I certainly desire to work up to 8-10 a day four times a week.
 

Grand Pooba

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Cold Approaches Yesterday: 8

----

Based on feedback, and because I want to learn properly faster, I am going to set a target of eight cold approaches four times a week, and that includes any interactions that go over a minute and have some type of conversation. This is good for me right now while I focus more on my fundamentals. Needless to say, I think I am getting the posture down, and now I am focusing on deepening my voice, smiling all the time, and improving/holding my eye contact confidently.

To say the least, everything is working. I cannot believe what a difference just posture made, but now today when I started to add the smile and eye contact into the picture it really began to work wonders. I was traveling today from the East to West Coast, and will be on vacation for the next three weeks. All in all, I talked to eight women in different situations: 2 on the subway, 2 at the airport gate, 1 on my first flight (which doesn't count because she was much older, but I did practice conversation and eye contact), 2 at the gate where I was making a connection, 1 on my second flight, and 1 while waiting at the baggage claim.

I started today feeling very hesitant about doing anything. I just really, really didn't want to inside. Then I reread my goals and some articles on GC about forging through even when you don't feel like it, and I eventually convinced myself, "fuck it."

Memorable interactions:
1 girl at the first gate talked with me for 15-20 minutes, and I had her engaged. When I paused, she picked up the conversation. It seemed like she actually wanted to talk to me, and I still kept the majority of the focus on her. Deepening my voice and increasing my eye contact definitely worked, and she seemed to mirror my body language. Alas, she is married, and I don't feel at the comfort level to go that route juuuuust yet. But it was still good practice, and I definitely rolled on a good high after this.

1 girl at the next gate for my connection, I was just standing near her and started charging my phone, and just asked "going anywhere interesting?" without preopening. She immediately brought up that she's going to meet up with her boyfriend in another city, but anyway, whatever....I still got her very interested in me. I told her she looks like a creative type, what does she do? She said she's in fine arts, and I mentioned I could tell by the way she dressed. It was classy, but she said the same for me. Boom, I should have rewarded her, I don't yet know how to do this. I also asked her to show me her crazy nails, and definitely made her laugh and engaged. Again, I broke off the conversation twice, only to have her try and pick it up again.

This shit is working!!

FINALLY, the last one of the day. I walked down to the baggage claim. I made strong eye contact and a smile with a woman sitting down waiting, and she smiles back. I walk on. The bag claim didn't start moving, so I wait two minutes and slowly make my way back to where she was and sit RIGHT NEXT TO HER. It helps that even though she had three seats open, magically two people come at the same time and take the other two. I waited ten seconds, then did a preopen on her elbow, and said:

ME: "Did you go anywhere interesting?"
Her: "Yeah, Phoenix..."
ME: "Oh, what did you do there?"
HER: "I was there for business, but I live here [in this city]"
ME: "It must be fun to travel for work, what do you do?"
HER: "Sales."
ME: "Oh, cool. Well, I used to live here too, a while ago."
HER: "Where do you live now?"
ME: "[ANSWER]
HER: "Oh, I used to travel for work there too, at my last job. I had a place here, and there also."
ME: "I am a bit jealous, that sounds incredible. Why did you choose to stay here, though?"
HER: "I've always lived here, my company just gave me a place out there because I went so much."
ME: "Whoa....it sounds like you were living the dream! I can't believe you gave that up....I'm [Ozz], by the way...."
HER: "[NAME]"
ME: "Nice to meet you......"

I moved to random banter for a minute before she got a work call, which she did for two minutes while I hung out. Around this time the baggage on my flight started to come in. When she got off the phone, we bantered a bit about that call, then I say:

ME: "Well, [NAME], it was really great to meet you, but I should probably go get my bags so I don't keep my ride waiting. I'm around here for three weeks, why don't we hang out?" <I look at her straight in the eye and wait for a response>
HER: "...Sure, let's do that."
ME: "Cool," <I hand her my phone>
HER: "I still have my Michigan number, haha."
ME: "Is that where you're from? What city?"
HER: "Detroit"
ME: "No way! I would never have guessed. It's funny, I've actually really been meaning to go there for a music festival. Have you heard of DEMF?"
HER: "Isn't that the big electronic festival they have every year? <small giggle> I went there a long time ago and it was so fun."
ME: "Yeah, I've heard nothing but good things."
HER: "I'm usually really busy till Thursday afternoon, and I try to get everything done so that I have Friday afternoons off."
ME: "Cool, well I'm pretty busy, because I'm going to [ANOTHER CITY] next week too."
HER: "No way, I'll be going to [SAME CITY] next week!"
ME: "Haha, how funny. Well, let's touch base later...."
HER: "Sounds good <handshake> nice to meet you." <Handshake wasn't so smooth, A kiss on cheek would have been better, but whatever.>

So guys...now what? How and when should I calibrate a response? She definitely seems older, more established than me, and probably expects a guy to know what he's doing, so I definitely DO NOT want to risk telling my age. I think this will also be good practice.
 

Grand Pooba

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I have been spending the last few days with family, so no outside work on meeting girls and game till Thursday probably.

The only progress to report is with this girl I met at the airport, with whom I've been texting.

on Thursday:
ME: "Hey there, [NAME]. Clients keeping you busy today? Just wanted to see what your schedule is like through the next week, thinking we should grab coffee =)."
HER: <immediate text reply> "Hey. Heading to a dinner now. I will look at my schedule in the morning. What area are you staying?"
ME: <twenty minutes later> "Sure, you do that =). If it's easier, we can do a call. I'm in [area A], you?"

No reply till the next afternoon, Friday, after 3.

HER: "I am here Monday and Tuesday. Not back until Friday. Then I am here the entire week after that. I live in [area B].
<I wait three hours before replying>
ME: "Ah, [area], cool...what is that like? Didn't you say you would be in [city C] next week? I'll be there 24th-31st.
ME: "I am not sure year about Mon/Tues, will let you know Sunday. We could try to meet up in [city C], or the week after in your area. What do you think?"

Saturday goes by with nothing, then she texts me this Sunday (today) morning:

HER: "Morning. I will be in [city C] Wed and Thursday. Let me know when you are back in town."

I am still trying to determine my next move. Is she being more direct and forward than I am assuming? Since I am with family, I only have a little bit of time outside them. I am wondering if I should call her and try to form a connection, or just wait a week and a half basically before reaching out again. We will be in the same [city C] for a night next week, and then I'll be back in her area for three nights.
 

Grand Pooba

Chieftan
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Location
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Approaches since last entry: approximately 40.
One LR- (Thursday), one date with kissing (Friday morning), one night at a club with a 30 second pull and make-out, going back to her place but nothing further happening (Saturday night).

----

It’s been some time since my last journal entry. Quite a bit has happened. I was on a train on Thursday, and had an encounter with a girl I met on it. That story is here:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3725.



I also took a girl I met at the airport to coffee date on Friday morning. She happened to be traveling on business, so I had her come meet me for a morning coffee on Friday at 10am. I had her travel about an hour and a half to my area. In that situation, we discussed and talked about everything from her work, to her travels, to music we both like. I discovered that:

- She has been practicing ballet since she was 4 years old.
- She is in a sales business that she hates.
- She is from Canada but then moved to Michigan and later LA.
- She loves house music (as do I) and we spent quite some time talking about this.
- She is extremely adventurous, social, and loves traveling, but has not been outside of the country.
- A very extroverted, career minded and spontaneous type.
- She’s a lot older than me, by maybe a decade. This has pressed a conundrum for me, because I do not wish to tell her my age or last name for fear of her using it as a reason to not get together with me.
- She is extremely into fitness and exercise.

I gradually escalated my interaction with her as we sat next to each other on a couch, first by starting with light touching around her shoulders, then gradually amping it up to touching her elbows, then on her thighs or her legs, and in situations where she would want to show me something on her phone I got physically close to her and put my arm around her. Over time, I asked to see something on her hand, and used the situation to test whether or not she would try to pull it back. She didn’t and held it in place gently, so I took it and calmly clasped into it like we’re dating while maintaining conversation and eye contact. After 12:30, we left the coffee shop to take a stroll, and I used the opportunity to do a “push-pull” and kiss her in front of a cool building. Unfortunately she had to go back to LA at 1:00pm, driving, and there was nowhere for us to go and hook up besides in her car. I let it slide hoping there will be a more appropriate opportunity later on, because we have agreed to see each other again this week. At the same time, I realize I need to move faster.

It is possible that I destroyed the tension by kissing her at this time. She definitely seemed into it and reciprocated, but it is questionable to me whether or not she might want to see me again when I return to LA, or if she’ll even respond to messages. We agreed to meet by watching a movie at her place, and left it at “we can have some fun later.” Maybe this approach was far too direct?

Out of the blue as I was walking back to where I was staying, alone, two girls sitting at a coffee shop complimented my style, unexpectedly and without my own engagement. I guess looking sharp has its merits. I have been getting far more attention since actively working on fundamentals.



Saturday was another interesting day: I met quite a few girls at this conference I was attending during the day on some spiritual exercise. One thing I heard from some girls there was that I need to get out of my head, that I am kind of self absorbed. I cannot disagree, but like depression and negativity (which I am also working towards removing in my life) I think it will take some time to address. On the flip side, I did approach and connect with a number of girls, and it definitely was very healthy practice for getting phone numbers and learning about them…deep diving as well. One girl told me I seem to be very grounded and good at connecting with others. Good!

Saturday night I got to practice the weakest part of my skill, which is meeting and seducing girls in a nighttime club atmosphere. My friends and I got tickets to a Halloween boat party, and we had amazing costumes: suits with sesame street masks. We also had fun and maintained character (I was big bird). And overall, the idea was a huge winner. Girls kept approaching us all night wanting to take pictures with us, and naturally this gave us opportunities to talk to them. Here I got to see social momentum in action: my first few interactions were freaking terrible and I kept falling flat on my face. As the night went on I made the talks far wittier and shorter to compensate for the shorter attention spans. Nothing came of any of these though, I blew out a few times and at the end our group had four guys (myself included) and five girls walking to a bar to keep the night going. Three of them left when one of her friends freaked out, and the other two randomly ran into one of their parents and left with them. Oh well.

We move to a new club and it’s a little after 2:00am, to meet up with one of my friend’s two girl friends. Both were cute and single, I did not engage at all until I found myself next to them suddenly. I don’t know what happened, but suddenly I saw an opening to dance with one, I moved behind her and felt some connection. Then as we are dancing, I turned her around effortlessly, we made eye contact and I went in for a kiss, which she immediately reciprocated. This all happened in under a minute. Cool! I moved her around a few times and made out, but every time I tried to single her out to escalate she kept going back to her friends.

Then my game got messier and I started to bide my time. I didn’t move fast; I slowed everything down. This was a huge mistake in retrospect. Our whole party agrees to go back to this girl’s apartment to continue the night, and even though I am in the cab with her I cannot nor do I try hard to escalate. In her apartment she now has to manage guests, so I try loosely to get her alone in a room but not hard or directly enough. Once we were in a room for a few seconds as she gave me a tour, but I did not shut the door or anything. I am still making out with her but she puts up resistance and leaves to take care of guests. Over time my game starts to fall apart, and even though I am the last person to leave, she basically kicked me out. I spent far too much time with my friends and not alone with her, and the tension vanished. My friends left about ten minutes before I did, and in that time there was zero desire to go further on her part.

I hope that is a lesson learned – move fast and strike when the iron is hot.
 

Grand Pooba

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Approaches since last entry: 10

The last few days have been a bit poor for me. I've gone from quite the high of having dates and experiences lined up to currently not much at all. I've also, perhaps due to overconfidence, not been as smooth in my overall technique and just generally much lazier. I have been approaching but lately it has been without a clear goal, more just to talk. It also happens that I've been getting side tracked a little socially by marijuana.

I had one date, an FR described here:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3769

I had another semi-date with an old friend I've been interested in for years. She is not currently single, but I rarely see her and this time I pretty much made her laugh her ass off. Unfortunately I brought my guy friend along, so it felt more like hanging out. This was silly.

The girl I met on the train, I didn't make effort to hang out with her again, but she seemed to live too far and would have meant me going two hours to see her.

The woman I met at LAX, I've been trying to get in touch with her and set things up, but she isn't getting back to me about her schedule even though I have told her mine. At this point I feel like I am chasing, yet I only have a day or two to make something happen before I leave. If she isn't getting back to me about when she's free, how should I approach setting something up with her?

The MJ really took the cake last night: My friend and I went to a club in Los Angeles, but smoked first, a huge mistake. This decision put me in quite the floating, confused, and de-motivated mindset. We got to this place far too late, around 12:15, and there are just dozens of girls floating around outside trying to get into this club, which is no longer letting people in. I would estimate the ratio was 3-4 girls to each guy, and nearly all were young and attractive. At this point it was 12:30, the line was too big for anyone to get in, and I was too high to talk with anyone properly. Rather than being lively and fun in halloween costumes, we were both quiet and generally spacey, which tended to freak out the girls that we talked to. I tried interacting with three, and none went anywhere.

Girl 1: Gave me an extended look and then started to walk right to my left, I engaged by pre-opening on the shoulder.
ME: What's your name?
HER: Karen <I use my hands to dominantly lead her to turning into me, and she reciprocated immediately. In short, she was alone and down to party it seems, but I am too high to take this interaction anywhere and lead her away>
ME: Karen, cool, this is the longest line ever. <Awkward break> Where are you coming from?
HER: Some party. <And she lost interest and walks away, despite showing a glimmer of interest before>

This happened a few more times. I started getting a little momentum at the third girl, but also was far too high to focus on keeping my fundamentals and really engage them. It actually felt a little like a month ago, when I had none of my fundamentals in progress. I was getting the same type of responses.

Anyway, that was a mistake. I went home disappointed, but I also realize I did this to myself.


Lessons:

- Regain and retain focus: no more substances or else I will get sidetracked.
- Stay focused on goals and the overall process, and do not let some success get into my head to the point of laziness.
- Stay vigilant and always focused on a particular goal to improve.
 

Grand Pooba

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I'm off vacation now, that was a whole load of fun. In about a week and a half I had:
- One encounter with a girl on a train that led to sexual activity but no intercourse.
- One date with some kissing, but diffused tension that went nowhere.
- One night at a club, with kissing, but nothing more.
- One date with a logistical mistake that correspondingly went nowhere.
- One big fuck up, where I successfully pulled a girl at a brewery and was in the car with her but then made mistakes. A full accounting here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3823

Also, I engaged dozens of women in this time. I am not even sure how many, but it had to be at least 50 in all types of situations. Some went very well, and some went extremely poorly.

I've nearly undone my approach anxiety. It's still there a little bit, as I have to convince myself to approach sometimes, but at the same time I have my process down fairly well. This became apparent yesterday: after staying up all night I traveled back to the east coast, slept on both flights, and was still exhausted and just pooped out. People were giving me very strange looks and I had on a pretty terrible demeanor on my face of spacey-ness, tiredness, and not the cheerful aura I usually display.

I saw a cute girl waiting for her baggage at my claim; it took a minute to convince myself to go for it, but I did, and I actually walked away with her number two minutes later! She has not yet responded to me, as I think I came off pretty poorly looking that tired, nor did I function properly in that moment (I should have spent more time with her talking and conversed about the wrong things), but I'm still glad I am able to do it.

I've discovered a few areas that really need improvement as I move forward, my sticking points so to speak:
- Focus on the goal
- Use of chase framing and sexual framing to determine and establish her attraction during a date (currently nearly non-existent)
- Handling logistics
- Handling push back and being persistent in a subtle way
- Currently I think I am too aggressive at some times, which is intimidating and threatening.
- Handling texting and managing/keeping tension in my communication properly.
 

Grand Pooba

Chieftan
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Dec 6, 2012
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1,371
Location
NYC
Botched dates this week: 2
Total dates: 3
Approaches since last post: 20
Missed opportunities: 4

This was a very eventful weekend, to say the least. I pushed myself to try some new things and work on old ones, and a lot of unexpected opportunities came up. I missed most of these—one of my sticking points in this game, which is an issue I have had for as long as I can remember, is missing key hints and signals, and missing acting on the escalation window before it closes. It’s so frustrating to look back in hindsight and see clearly what she wanted, what I could have done, and what I didn’t do that caused the window to close and her to auto-reject.
Another big discovery is how I run dates – it seems that my dates are too interview-y, and again not enough light repartee, banter, and chase framing thrown in to lighten the connection and build the attraction.

Anyway, this post describes a whole lot of situations from this weekend, and I'm splitting it into two posts. For brevity’s sake, the important ones are “Girl 7”, Girl “N”, Girl “A”, and “Marie”

----

On Friday night, I invited some friends with me to go to a lounge in DC where some of my favorite DJ’s of this time happened to be playing that night. There were a total of five of us: me, my friend “M”, his friend and my acquaintance “N” who is a single girl, and one guy/girl couple. Girl “N” is an interesting type: very adventurous and sexually experienced (but hides it extremely well), and she likes to play along and “help” guys that she doesn’t think are that experienced in this art. I’ve always thought it’s just an act.

Anyway, I dressed as slick as I could. I had a feeling in my mind that there would be some very attractive women at this event. “N” even commented that I “looked great.” I’ve been getting that more these days, so I guess the look (especially the facial hair) is working.

Girl 1:
My friends “M” and “N” were asking me how I approach girls near the bar, and what my line is and what the best line is. I told them that the best line is no line, and suddenly Girl “N” was agreeing with me, and asking me to show her how it’s done by practicing on her so that she can “verify” how good it is. In my mind, I thought “wow, she is so silly and cute,” and I just happened to see a girl unoccupied holding two bags immediately to my left side. This is how I would introduce myself.

I practiced making some sexual frames here:
Me: “What brings you to this show? Is it the music?”
Her: “Haha, no, I came here after a fashion show. What about you?”
Me: “Yeah, I love this kind of music, its house and it’s more rhythmic than that other shit.”
Her: “Don’t you kids call it EDM these days?” <In retrospect, since she called me a kid, I should have challenged her on that, I think>
Me: “Well, yeah, that’s a whole different kind anyway and with its own feel ”
Her: “Yeah, when the beat stops and you hear the climax it feels really good”
Me: “…so you like climaxes?”
Her: “Haha, yeah I do!” (wink)
Me: “Cool, well, I really appreciate how <I deepen and slow my voice> deep and rhythmic and passionate this kind of music is…don’t you?”
…<She’s smiling>…
Me: “How did you get into it?”

Anyway, she was cool and we got to deep dive a bit, and she also was giving me heavy eye contact, smiles and winks, but I stopped talking to her when she got her drink and moved to her friends. This was a mistake, my first mistake tonight: I did not get her number or try to make new plans with her, or take her somewhere to talk a little more or even inquire what her plans later were. It was warm up, but she was cute and she seemed like she was down for something that night. Oops.

Girl 2 and Girl 3:
I got sidetracked with this one a little bit. I really wanted to engage Girl 2 (who is more of my desired look), but ended up talking with Girl 3 and number closing in the end. I approached by making heavy eye contact with Girl 2 and saying “Hey….I feel like I’ve met you before and I know you from somewhere…” which garnered interest and led us to introducing ourselves to each other, but definitely wasn’t direct enough in retrospect. She moved away eventually to talk to another one of her girl friends but leaving Girl 3 unoccupied, and with whom I conversed about a variety of topics for a while. We number closed but she seemed a little unsure about meeting up again due to the fact that we’re not living in the same city (relationship evaluation here?) Actually, more than anything else, she seemed skeptical.

Girl 4:
This was the best approach of the night. I pre-opened: She was standing with her friends facing away from my path of walking, so I approached at about her 4:00 and touched her lightly on the arm. I forgot what I said to her, but I opened directly and moved her away and out of people, and number closed after about 10 minutes. We had some interesting conversation, in that she wouldn’t give out her last name but was adamant that I share what I do with her; I only told her I am a designer, and that I wouldn’t tell her the rest until she told me her last name. She told me she’d tell me when we meet again, so I agreed and left it there. I attempted to get a schedule settled with her as well, but not to much avail at this time.

She did not want to continue talking to me much longer after trading information, and kept saying she had to go find her friends. What to do in this situation?

Unfortunately, I’ve reached out to her and have yet to hear anything. Boo…I will try again tomorrow and see what I can do.

Girl 5:
This girl was totally not into me and gave me a pretty hard time when I tried to push for us to hang out again. She kept saying it would never work because I live in a different city, and basically threw out every reason she could think of not to do anything. This behavior a month ago used to really phase me, but now I am quite okay with it after seeing that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes it’s just not worth the hassle, but I persisted and pushed, and failed, for the sake of practicing persistence.

Girl 6:
Started an approach, same as Girl 2, but this time she walked off and started talking to her friend. I said “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” and after we introduced ourselves she walked off.

It seems this opener is not ideal unless coupled with some form of direct, genuine interest. Actually, maybe genuine interest is just better. I will start using that more exclusively from now.

Girl 7:
Definitely the most interesting of the night, and the biggest missed opportunity. I pushed Girl 7 into auto-rejection later on in the night, as she was DEFINITELY feeling horny and wanted to do something sexual, but I could not pull her despite trying.

I noticed her ordering a drink all by herself at the bar, she had a really nice body and she was wearing a white dress in contrast to virtually everyone else wearing black at this lounge, so I slowly worked my way there and positioned myself to her right side. Then I pre-opened with the outside of my left hand touching her upper arm:

Me: “Hey, I really like your style, you wore white in a sea of people wearing black. It really stands out. What’s your name?”

We were sharing info and connecting, and it also helped (or in some ways didn’t help) that she was kind of drunk and thus hard to understand, but over time I realized I just met a model from LA. She started to show me her work on my phone, which was also a great opportunity to exchange contact info with her smoothly for use later. I think this took five minutes.

And as we continued to talk at the bar, her body started getting really close to me. Granted, I was using heavy touching and physical contact AND eye contact to establish myself as a dominant man, and clearly it was working very, VERY well. I used my left arm to pull her into my intimate zone, and she happily obliged as we were talking about her talents and aspirations. It felt like I could have kissed her at ANY minute, and that moment lasted for at least ten to fifteen minutes. I purposefully did not kiss, as I understand according to theory that this releases tension, and I wanted to keep it.

I tried to use a pull. Unfortunately my place was pretty far away, about half an hour, and I had to find a way to smoothly get her out there. As she was also a fashion designer, I suggested that we go back to her place so that she might show me her line of clothes and shoes, which I demonstrated an interest in:
“So, your stilettos are by your home, right? I’d like to see them, is it close-by?”
She laughed, and said that we’re not going by her place. I persisted and asked why not, and continued to ask about it. But nothing came out of it. Pulling is a problem for me, a sticking point.

****
I regret this in retrospect because the idea of going to a location such as the bathroom did not even occur to me! Certainly this failure has opened me up to this potential, because there was a window, I knew in some part of me that there WAS a window, and I tried pulling her home and stopped, and it didn’t even occur to me that I needed to make something happen THEN AND THERE! Shit!
****

I tried to get her over to the dance floor so we could dance. I moved her by leading with my hand in hers and leading by the arm, but she had a drink, and being already kind of tipsy she just started to spill it. Now I have to occupy her until she finishes, ugh. This took a good twenty minutes of slow sipping, and eventually I just stopped talking to her and waited…maybe not something to do. She sped up this time.

We danced and it was nice and sensual and close. She has a really nice body. This is where I should have DEFINITELY done something! Our connection was still intimate at this time and the window open, but in retrospect decreasing.

*Then randomly, out of the blue, she goes to the bathroom. She tells me she has to go, and I tell her that she can meet me back here. Maybe this was a signal or something to take her then and there. It did not occur to me yet again that I can take her to this location and escalate then and there.*

Now, this is also where the night got really interesting: unbeknownst to me, in the process of doing everything I was going, the single girl in my group, “N” who is an acquaintance of mine, was getting very jealous and was starting to show her own signs of interest. I totally missed this the whole night. But at the bar when I parted with Girl 7 for her to go to the bathroom (and then auto-reject), “N” came to talk to me and asked where she went. When I told her the bathroom, “N” FOLLOWS her to the bathroom! I didn’t even see this happen until I got water for “N” and went to find her to give it to her, only to see her talking to Girl 7.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was witnessing jealousy of my interactions, something that would bite me in the ass later in fact when I continued to miss such signals. I have no idea what “N” said to Girl 7, and it could have been bad. Who knows, but either way, in the future this is something to look out for and prevent.

When Girl “7” came back, I tried to pull her back on the dance floor but she kept saying that she needs to “go find her friend” and connect with her, some bullshit excuse. I half believed this, but as I don’t really know what auto-rejection behavior is, I was missing these indicators too. We parted ways having traded numbers already, but the only thing I could see after that was Girl “7” standing all by herself at the corner of the dance floor, just waiting. No “friend” ever came, and even when I tried to pull her in to dance again she refused over the same excuse. Definitely auto-rejection!

After Girl 7, things really ramped down for me. It was getting later, the place was starting to empty out and my friends were getting tired and wanted to go home. I was starting to lose the mood as well. It’s very true that the best time to meet girls is earlier in the night.

Girl 8, 9, 10:
Got nowhere with these.

----

The situation with Girl “N”:
I bought tickets for everyone for this show, we all met at my house and hung out there for an hour before going out to this place. I also asked them to pay me back, but "N" only had $10 for the $22 show, so I told her not to worry about it, we'll figure it out some time. Anyway, we all head to the lounge, and here is relevant info:

1030pm:
When we were walking to the lounge I point out to my guy friend a random girl walking with a guy on the street and what nice legs she had. “See that?...She has nice legs.” Girl "N" agrees (she likes giving her input on lots of things, on the car ride over we were all talking about the ideal boob size), and my guy friend disagrees because legs just don't do anything for him.

1100pm-0100am:
I approached and talked to quite a number of very attractive girls at this lounge. Many right in front of this girl "N". I wasn't trying to make her jealous, she just happened to be close by a number of times. In fact, one girl "7" that was really, really into me and who turned out to be a fashion designer and model, we were dancing and "7" really, really wanted to hook up with me. I think I pushed "7" into auto-rejection by not reading the signs correctly and taking her to the bathroom to escalate right there and then, but...girl "7" said she had to go to the bathroom. "7" and I split ways, she went to the bathroom, I went to the bar to talk with my guy friend. Moments later, "N" comes up to me and asks what happened with "7". I told her "7" went to the bathroom, then turn around to the bar. I grab water for "N" but notice that she's gone, and upon looking for her find out she ALSO went to the bathroom and is now talking to "7" in line! Why would she do this?

0140am:
Anyway, my guy friend later on decides he really wants to leave...he's tired...

0145am:
On the walk out, three of us are walking together and "N" remarks that it’s pretty cold out. I tell her that actually, I’m feeling pretty good right now, it’s not that bad. She instantly remarks: “Are you kidding? It’s so cold…look at my legs, can you see how cold they are?” <I replied that I couldn't tell, but I believe her.> Is/was she trying to drop me a hint here to check out her legs, because I referred to liking legs earlier in the night?

0145am:
On this walk she also says that Saturday is her "me" time, and that she just wants to spend time with herself.

0150-0215am:
On the ride back, she thanked me for driving us all, out of the blue, something she also did on the ride over.

0215am:
Outside when we are in front of my house, where her and my guy friend's car is parked, she thanks me for paying for her and says that she still owes me some money for the ticket. She asks how and when she can pay me back, and I reply that it's okay, she can pay me sometime and I don't know when that will be. <I was just being honest because I didn't know when I'd see her again>. She got offended by this statement and basically stammered something like "what do you mean you don't know when that will be!" as if she was upset that I would refuse to spend time with her or see her again. <does this mean she is intrigued?> I then told my group (now four, the guy from the couple came back with us) that I should take advantage of my house while my dad's still out of town and there's no one there, and that we should all hang out there tomorrow. Maybe watch a movie. Everyone, including "N", agreed <implying a change of her plans>, and then I bid "N" farewell and told her to drive home safe.

Later that night I realized that she may have been dropping hints to hang out, the two of us, or hell even take her home that same night since she was already right there at my place (Shit!).
 
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