Partner “Poaching”


Nov 28, 2018
Hello all

So once again I have questions regarding being in a relationship with a girl I “poached”
Even though everything is going mostly swimmingly when we’re together and close, I’ve noticed on two occasions her inability to control herself under pressure and acting in a way that displeases me ( whether she explicitly knows it or not )

I think I’ve read over 30 articles and videos about what to do in my relatively uncommon situation ( poaching a girl from a one year text + date boyfriend ) and most seem to suggest that she will be more likely to cheat or be less committed in our relationship and her future ones while a few other ones suggesting there is hope with enough maintenance and effort.

So now I can’t shake this feeling especially when she’s away ( she left for a 2 week vacation ) , what normally felt like longing and missing in my previous relationships now feel like anxiety and doubt whether it’s right for me to be with her.

Deep down I’ve had the knowledge all along that this relationship situation wasn’t ideal but I was too weak and indecisive to put and end to it , and now as the time passes I’m becoming noticeably more invested and attached to her and the thought of leaving her is becoming more painful.
So far she hasn’t done anything that’d suggest infidelity but my mind has become hypersensitive and analytical to her behaviour pattern which led me to notice the aforementioned scenarios.

I’ve tried to point out to her the results of the research that suggested their likelihood to cheat in a subconscious way but it seemed to always result in a pointless argument as I can’t tell her explicitly fearing that it will affect her subconsciously and make her fulfill the prophecy.

If anyone has been through a similar situation or has enough knowledge to guide me to the correct decision, their input will be greatly appreciated..

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Jul 24, 2015
Can't do anything about her decisions, just the way you deal with it. You are being NEEDY. Much more of that and you are going to drive her away just the way you are picturing.

I'd recommend finding something more important than her to put your energy into. School Job, Career, Project, Hobby. It will give you perspective on her and your relationship with her.