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Passing Through a Phase

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
Passing through the "Jerk Phase" is something that can be quite fun, although you have resentment from some girls, and friends whom notice that you were once a "nice guy", whom suddenly want to break out of their norm and change to somebody else, they somehow avoid you if suddenly you are this new character and such, I find myself quite surprised.

The worse part and i find it funny though, was earlier this year, i was going out, trying to test my limits on how far i can go, and having 5 girls literally find me an "asshole" within a week. Yeap, they were really piss off. I just say things i wanted, even pushing for things when i know it's retarded, and hence got comments, jerk, a$$hole and the rest were just plain unhappy. Yeap these two words from 5 women. XD OMG Anyway That's something i find myself not believing i can do it myself. I am able to calibrate much of my conversations and interactions today, although i do have some "jerk moments", especially when i'm off.

PMS, i have my period. LOLX. (joking) Hope you guys share something. Maybe u have pass the "Jerk Phase", I am a nice guy, although i don't fancy it anymore. Learning though. :) YOu can't really get to know when to stop being a jerk until you actually are, that.

Zac
 

Light

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
427
Hey Zac,

I'm never a jerk. Its just not me. I'm a charmer, and a sweet talker. But I do have a jerk -ish system which I apply.
There are times where I switch myself into a "I don't give a S**! I'm still doing this regardless" mode.
Or to what Richard Branson would say - "Screw it, Lets do it!".

This only applies when I want to get what I want, and conquering fear of other kind.
You see.. you don't want to be a jerk with girls, you want to let them know that you know what you want, and you're going to be firm in your decision. You want to come accross as a strong man and powerful, and you won't budge for anyone else's sake. But also not hurting others and taking their thoughts into consideration.

Its like Risk management, you must weigh the risk to reward, ie: "What are you gaining from being this jerk?"
If you're going to be a jerk, you better be getting SOMETHING out of it, and not just a boost to your ego.
You want results at the end of the day.

When you're being this jerk - you must have a reason, a goal, something you want to achieve by being this jerk. You then want to quickly switch into a nice guy when the topic changes, and then be nice to them. That way, you are keeping a fine balance of not putting them on a pedestal, dragging them down when need to while not stepping on them, then pulling them back up again.
This is called being the Irresistable Bastard.

I always say "Balance is the Key".
Too much of anything is bad for you, but a little bit every now and then is all good.
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
Hi Light,

Light said:
I'm never a jerk. Its just not me. I'm a charmer, and a sweet talker. But I do have a jerk -ish system which I apply.
There are times where I switch myself into a "I don't give a S**! I'm still doing this regardless" mode.

i think what you mean here, is more of being assertive, and being risky, doing this regardless, which women likes. I wrote it down to note, that i, for most years of my life have been really the "nice guy", then the "Jester". So i needed to know where i have gone wrong. At least that's what Chase blog says, Be an A$$hole if you are really really really nice. XD I shall not drag him into this. >.<

But yea, i'm cooler nowadays. I am sure you are too.

Light said:
If you're going to be a jerk, you better be getting SOMETHING out of it, and not just a boost to your ego.
You want results at the end of the day.

You have a point here, Most jerks don't have much results, as far as i know.

Zac
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,420
Zac-

The jerk phase is a good and necessary one to go through to some extent. It's the only way you learn where the limits are.

Don't be afraid of pissing people off you're never going to see again. But do analyze their reactions and make sure you understand why they reacted the way they did. e.g., was it auto-rejection, did you ask for too much compliance too quickly, were you overly insulting, e.g.

Basically, being a jerk is all about overly imposing your will on others. Jerks impose; nice guys are imposed upon; and guys who have it all together impose somewhat, but in socially acceptable ways that lead to leadership and respect.

You'll need to spend some time in the wilderness over-imposing on people to get out of the nice guy's imposed-upon world. But, eventually, once you've developed your instinct for where the limits are, it'll be time to rein your impositions back in and become the noble leader rather than the overly-imposing jerk.

And that one's even MORE enjoyable, because you consistently get what you want, and people love giving it to you (because they get back in return, whether that's feelings or something else).

Chase
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
Chase,

Chase said:
But do analyze their reactions and make sure you understand why they reacted the way they did. e.g., was it auto-rejection, did you ask for too much compliance too quickly, were you overly insulting, e.g.

Auto rejection is one, she basically ignored me after that for those two girls. Asking one of the girls, to move with me out while we were on the beach for compliance and she was suddenly reactive. The other two was overly insulting though, but basically one of the girl, i was really insulting, the other insulted me and i return the favor, only to note she went dismay. I find that today, the girl wasn't worth if i really gone for her.

Zac
 
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