FR Penetration resistance

[Intimidator]

The last two nights I went on two first dates with two different girls and almost the exact same thing happened. I'm interested in hearing some advice on how to overcome this.

Wednesday night I went out with a girl from Tinder. It was clear from the moment I met her that she was interested in me - very warm, friendly, touchy - but she also tried pretty clearly to set the girl girl vibe. I'm very direct and sexual - one of our interactions went like this:

Me (without breaking eye contact): What kind of sexy panties did you wear for me?
Her: No way am I telling you that! (shocked but not upset)
Me (smiling): Don't pretend to be such a nun. I know what kind of dirty shit goes on in your head
Her (laughing): I don't know what kind of girls you hang out with, but I'm classier than that

(Side note: She wasn't wearing any panties under her tights)

Long story short, towards the end of the night she was sitting on my lap and I tried to get her to go home with me....

Me: Let's get out of here (said as almost an order)
Her: And where do you suppose we're going?
Me: You said you lived around the corner, right? Let's go.
Her: I'm not that kind of girl. Let's go to another bar and get some food (it was already really late).
Me (teasing): I don't know why you assume I'm going to have sex with you. We both have to work tomorrow and I don't want to spend an hour at another bar waiting for food. Let's go somewhere without all these people around

After some additional resistance, I got her to compromise and pick up food at this quick place (I essentially told her we were doing that and pulled her) and then we went up to her place.

Once we got back to her room, she was clearly horny and wet, but she kept stopping me after i was fingering her for a while. She let me go down on her too, but stopped when she was getting really into it saying "If I go any further I'm going to want to have sex with you, and I don't do that". This didn't stop her from blowing me, but I couldn't break past the penetration resistance.

Thursday night (last night) I went on a date with an OkCupid girl and pretty much the same thing happened, except we went back to my place. When I escalated and was touching her, she'd stop me after a few minutes and say she should leave. I'd back off, say we could just keep drinking our wine, and then try again later. I ended up getting her naked in my bed, but the same thing happened. She jerked me off but wouldn't do anything else. I'd finger her and go down on her but she stopped me and said the exact same thing as the 1st girl: I'm not going to be able to stop myself from having sex with you if we keep going. I wasn't really sure how to handle this situation, so unfortunately I tried to fight her with logic.

Me: So you want me to fuck you?
Her: Yes, but I don't do that. Not tonight
Me: If you want to, what's the point of depriving yourself of something you want?
Her: I'd feel shitty tomorrow if I did it
Me: So you won't feel shitty about spending the night here and me licking your pussy, but if you let it get to the best part, somehow that would make you feel worse?
Her: I don't do this. I told you.

This one was especially weird because she essentially told me she'd fuck me the 2nd time we hung out (and might be coming over in a few hours after she gets off work).

The question
So anyway, how do I overcome this kind of resistance? I'm pretty decent at being persistent and just putting my hands where I want to put them (i.e. touching pussy or putting her hand on my dick), and usually once I've broken that barrier and they are really turned on, the sex comes naturally. But that doesn't work for the final step (sex) because you have to put on the condom and the girl has to be on board with it. Plus with sex I want to be careful not to do it unless she's really on board. Any advice?

 

[Franco]

Intimidator,

It sounds like you're kind of pile-driving through women's resistance without taking into account their emotional concerns. Your persistence and aggressiveness is good (to a certain extent), but if you don't combine that with the ability to emotionally address her objections, you're going to be facing a lot of this.

Check out this article for some help:

• Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women's Objections

EDIT: Specifically, take a look at the section titled "Throwing Back the Objection"

- Franco

 

[Intimidator]

Thanks Franco!

I just checked out the article and will focus more on this. I'd read it before and tried to apply the "what should we be doing then?" line before, although not with these girls. It seems a little awkward to pull off depending on how they phrase their objections - any advice on this?

For instance, these are pretty easy:

Her: We shouldn't be doing this
Me: What should we be doing then? I've got some yarn somewhere if you want to help me crochet a scarf

Her: I can't move this fast
Me: How fast should you move then? Should I get back to you during the next olympics?

But what if she says...

Her: This is too much. I really shouldn't be here

or

Her: I can't have sex with you tonight. I just met you.

or worst, if she doesn't even say anything, but pulls you away from her when she's getting really turned on. Should you ask why? And then respond to her excuse like above?

Obviously you can't prepare the perfect response for every possible objection, but a few more examples might help me see how this works in a variety of situations.

 

[Franco]

But what if she says...

Her: This is too much. I really shouldn't be here

or

Her: I can't have sex with you tonight. I just met you.

I think you're still thinking too logically about it. The idea is to just short-circuit HER logic and get her into a "playful, sexual" emotional state. The first one is easy:

Her: This is too much. I really shouldn't be here
Me: Oh really? Would you prefer to do this outside in public?

All you're really doing is turning it into a fun game that will make her laugh and go, "no! of course not! haha"

Remember, you're trying to change her emotional state, NOT her logical opinion. Here's another one:

Her: This is too much. I really shouldn't be here
Me: No, THIS is too much! *Stand up, rip your shirt off, flex your bicep, and then kiss it*
Her: Hahaha! You're crazy!

You can do all sorts of things to essentially dodge her question and "up" her emotional state into a more positive, playful one. As long as your mind isn't focused on ANSWERING her question but instead improving her mental state.

As far as this one:

Her: I can't have sex with you tonight. I just met you.

You generally don't want to be getting this one too much if you deep-dove her well. But once in awhile a girl will still throw it your way:

Her: I can't have sex with you tonight. I just met you.
Me: Who said anything about sex? I thought we were playing "Strip Poker" just now! Although I'm obviously winning because I have more clothes on...

All of these above examples need to be said with a confident tone and a playful smile. You'll also pause your escalation while you say these so that her focus is directed away from your physical escalation for a moment; you'll often find that she'll suddenly just move toward you to get YOU back toward escalating with HER.

It's one step backward, two steps forward!

- Franco

 

[Intimidator]

I think you're still thinking too logically about it. The idea is to just short-circuit HER logic and get her into a "playful, sexual" emotional state.

Thank you! I think I get it now and it's totally different from my first interpretation of the article.

When I posted this back here, I didn't really expect an answer but this is super helpful.

I think I was originally focused too much on this part of the article:

The “we shouldn’t do this” objective isn’t actually based out of any kind of logic, and when you ask a girl, “What should we be doing?” she’s unable to come up with a satisfactory answer, and then mentally accepts that maybe you should be doing what you’re doing.

But I guess more important than making her realize she's being illogical is just being playful and unfazed by her objection.