Pickup and Psychopathy

[runningagain]

Hello. I’m a frequenter of this site posting from an alternative account. I’ve decided to make a burner account because what I am about to post is likely going to repulse a few of you and I’d rather not lose credibility of my contributions to this site due to the fact.

I’ll get straight to the point and say that I am high in psychopathic traits. Not in every sense of the word, but mainly the emotional empathy, and sympathy blocks that come from being high on the scale of anti social personality disorder. To give you a rough generalization of what I mean, let’s say we have a conversation.

You tell me something that’d be widely considered devastating and you proceeded to cry in my arms sobbing. I’d understand why you’re upset and why you’re crying, I may even feel bad cognitively if you’re someone I view as strong.

But i’d never feel the emotions of being sad, or view myself “in your shoes“. Sure I could imagine if it happened to me but this wouldn’t provoke any feelings in me because to put it bluntly I wouldn’t “care” emotionally. Not that I want it to happen but I doubt I’d feel anything if it did.

I’m probably more likely to feel slight annoyance with the fact that other people will come to me with their feelings or try to give me advice or “make me feel better”.

It would be no different than if I spilled coffee on my suit, and people rushed to me with napkins and I didn’t care about being soaked in coffee.

I have high levels of emotional understanding but I can’t say that i’ve felt the same degree of emotions I see in other people. Obviously this is unnerving to alot of people maybe even you. I understand that. I still experience emotions but not often or deep enough to be significant. I have loose attachments to things at most.

So my question to you people is what can I do to implement your teachings despite being emotionally stunted. I am not malicious and don’t wish harm on anyone but it’s still probably quite unnerving to be in a psychopaths presence despite not being aware.

I have charisma and I do pretty well with people, girls included, but there are times when I can tell my lack of emotional response provokes alot of people, or even scares them. It all depends on my level of energy and how much I work to keep up the act of being “normal”. I want to know what’s different for me in the seduction aspect and how I should go about influence with my deficiencies in these areas. I’ll list them now.

- I don’t suffer from “anxiety”, It’s more so how I feel about the situation, if I view it as a potentially dangerous situation I’ll still get the adrenal response that anxiety brings but won’t feel it emotionally

- I am hyper aware to potentially dangerous situations even if no danger is likely to happen, I’m not scared in the emotional sense but I tend to think the worst of situations

- Shallow reactions in general, I feel my facial expressions, and vocal inflection may be lacking sometimes, I have to remind myself to smile etc

- I sometimes find it hard to vibe with someone emotionally, when in conversation they may be animated and excited and I simply don’t feel it myself

- My eye contact is very piercing to people

This is roughly everything I can think of right now, Thank You for the help.

 

[topcat]

No need to hide behind a burner account g, I feel exactly the same way. As a child I remember thinking people were pretending when they made emotional displays. That they were just acting..

I've actually been wondering the same thing for quite a while actually, as I've noticed in seductions the "closeness" aspect that is required when dealing with a lot of women, the "softness", the consideration, the need to slow down and pace a woman's emotional level, though I can do it, it gets tiring, even annoying after a while.

I avoid long term relationships as I know this coldness will just lead to a train wreck. And I really can't be assed to deal with the foolishness brought up by a woman who feels neglected.. It's better she find a man who can give her that properly, and I avoid her entirely.

Emotions just feel innefficient a lot of the time, and I come to resent women for their "softness", even "weakness" (I'm actively working on this though). I made a post about it recently that I don't like overly submissive women and prefer tougher women, women with a bit more edge. Reason being, with softer, more emotional women I can't help but tread all over them or dismiss their feelings.
It's very hard for me, nigh impossible to take their emotions seriously. Their displays just come off immature, childish and they seem unfit for the burdens of reality.
Tougher women, I don't have to worry about this as much. Though they might get hurt, as long as they know I do like them, they bounce back quickly. And their abrasive attitude gives me something to sink my teeth into (discipline) without fear of being a domineering predator.
I've found I tend to rub softer women the wrong way early into my interactions, I've been called selfish by women I'm not even romantically involved with, and have had female housemates cry and insult me simply because I would not be swayed by their attempts to charm me into getting their way, only to have them 180 and get very horny around me. The volatility is a turn off..

I wonder what the ethical salve is, as given the majority of women are soft, I often feel like I pretend to be understanding and caring to get the pussy knowing it isn't sustainable long term. Again why I like less emotional, more abrasive women - I don't end up having to make this shift or feign as much.

Yeah not sure what the solution is really. Tougher women, short term relationships, and MLTR's I see sporadically and hook with extremes of hot and cold, seems to be what I've managed to duct tape together thus far. A better more mutually fulfilling solution would be appreciated if any elder on here has any ideas.

Good post.

 

[runningagain]

No need to hide behind a burner account g, I feel exactly the same way. As a child I remember thinking people were pretending when they made emotional displays. That they were just acting..

As a child I would steal, lie about terminal illnesses, fight for little to no reason, among other politically “negative” things. I showed no fear in situations that were supposed to scare me (barring a few very specific scenarios), and had no emotional reactions to physical pain (I could be hit over the head and my only reaction would be “that hurt”)

I was also very sexual at a young age.

Despite all of this I remained unaware that I was fundamentally different from other people. It took me hearing about things that were and weren’t okay for me to realize that something was off.

So I know where you’re coming from.

 

[Chase]

I had two good male psychopath friends. Both were admitted psychopaths.

Well, they were of course “friends” with an asterisk next to it. Both were guys I talked with, traveled, and picked up girls more with than almost anybody else. One of them multiple of my girlfriends over the course of years referred to as “my best friend.” I always understood the deal with these friends though… friends so long as you’re useful. Didn’t bother me, since the “friendship” was useful both ways. Plus, neither was a guy who deliberately tried to hurt people (I saw many of their interactions with MANY different folks).

Anyway, of the two of them, one was very good at making you comfortable; the other wasn’t.

The one who was good had cultivated an easy, charming laugh and a carefree personality. You felt at ease with him most of the time. However, sometimes he would turn on the piercing stare or put you into tough situations just to see how you’d react. Then he’d go back to being buddy-buddy and it was all good again.

The other who wasn’t good at making people comfortable had obviously sought to deliberately cultivate a high-and-mighty air about himself. He obviously relished keeping people tense as a way to keep them chasing after him, treating him like a noble leader or other inspirational figure.

Both these guys were good with women, though the high-and-mighty guy was better. He’d spent a lot more of his time working to get good in that area of his life than the “carefree” guy was though.

The carefree friend boasted to me, in a drunken moment of honesty, about some situation where some guy invited him to something, saying he wanted him there because he was his best friend, that “it’s funny, everyone seems to consider me his best friend!” I suspect for him he’d simply turned his psychopathy toward “be beloved, make everyone love you, make everyone decide you are his best friend (except your enemies, who must be destroyed totally or at least inconvenienced).”

I suppose you could differentiate my two psychopath friends as “loved” vs. “feared.”

The carefree guy’s power came from making himself beloved by everyone, with just a dash of imposing implication about how he could destroy you if he really needed to, before returning to carefree and lovable.

The high-and-mighty guy’s power came from making himself above it all, wielding access to power and secrets and so on, although he’d give value out to people and try to seem warm and caring, but in measured doses — never too much time fraternizing with the plebeians, and always just enough that people would want more from him, but they weren’t going to get it, not that day at least.

If I was you, I would choose a specialty like this and develop myself accordingly.

Maybe as the “everybody’s best friend” guy, maybe as the “high-and-mighty” guy, maybe as some other type.

I won’t go more into their methodologies, because there was a bunch of psychopath stuff they did in there to prop up their images that I wouldn’t want to teach. Lying, exaggerating, manipulating, making promises they’d never make good on, etc. You know the drill, general psychopath stuff — if you can use it and it advances your agenda/fits the calculus, and the benefits outweigh the costs, it gets used.

Regardless: specialization/focus. That’s the way I’d go with it if I were you.

I just did a search for “psychopath friends” and there are a bunch asking things about best friends being psychopaths, so I suspect the “best friend psychopath” is a common type for more benevolent(-ish?) psychopaths.

Also, as an aside, since crying is being mentioned here, these two guys were the only two men I’ve ever had cry to me, and both guys bawled their eyes out to me on multiple separate occasions. Sobbing, wailing — not at me, but with me as the audience. Each time it had the “fake/hollow” feeling folks talk about with psychopaths and each time my reaction was “Okay, what do I do here, I know it’s a manipulation but this situation is just awkward. Is he just doing this for his amusement? Probably I guess! Is it more amusing to him because he likely knows I know it is fake but he also knows I will not call him out on it because I cannot be 100% certain it’s fake and I’m not that insensitive? Also probably yes!”

It’s the game within the game for psychopaths.

Fun times in psychopath university!

Chase

 

[runningagain]

I feel like this is very valuable information. Oddly enough I feel as though I flip flop between the dichotomy of both of your friends. It isn’t until I feel no gain is to be had or I feel as though I’m provoked or all is won where I convert into a shadow of a person.

But there are times where I live in the “I am above it all state of mind”, and there are other times where I am “everybody’s favorite”. But behind it all I am nothing. I wonder if your friends discovered these “specializations” naturally. How I decide to act is truly dependent on what is to be won and my amount of bodily energy.

I wonder if their differing personas is due to varying degrees of narcissism between them (the high and mighty friend being slightly more narcissistic); although both states of mind are fundamentally narcissistic.

Regardless Thanks for your insight @Chase

Edit- Also since you mentioned your friends “piercing stare”, I wanna elaborate on why and when I do this. I only do the unrelenting unblinking gaze when I feel like i’m being transgressed upon. It is meant to evoke a fear response yes, but not for my amusement. It’s more like a warning or threat response of my mental state. “If you continue i’m likely to retaliate” it’s like a warning. Think of a snakes hissing before it fills you with venom. I’ve used it to scare before but I don’t derive any amusement from scaring people deliberately.

 

[ph40]

How similar are psychopaths to... say... people with Asperger syndrome? It's almost as if the "mindblindness" is a shared trait, but the psychopath can better emulate peoples' feelings to avoid the awkwardness?

 

[runningagain]

How similar are psychopaths to... say... people with Asperger syndrome? It's almost as if the "mindblindness" is a shared trait, but the psychopath can better emulate peoples' feelings to avoid the awkwardness?

They seem very similar at first glance, there’s an easy distinction though. People with Aspergers cant understand social cues. I know them but I don’t empathize with them. So I have to “fake” my reactions to them.

Someone with Aspergers: *sees someone in pain on the floor* “hey get up dude you cant lay there”
My understanding is that they cant tell the difference between someone lying on the floor out of pain or sleepiness

Me: hey man are you alright? (doesn’t feel bad for the guy but has to course correct socially) I make a cognitive decision on how to feel but I recognize that someone is lying on the floor because they are in pain

At least that is my understanding someone correct me if i’m wrong

 

[think]

this is an interesting thread, but I have my doubts these days if pigeonholing people into archetypes is all that useful anymore. it doesn't really help me understand the person beyond a surface level caricature, people exist on a spectrum. I've gotten to know BPD girls well. at first I just handwaved it away "she's crazy and unpredictable, typical BPD", but over time you start to understand them. I can predict how she will react to anything I do, I no longer see her as a crazy or bpd just someone with severe trust issues and fear of rejection. she seems erratic because she's like a turtle trying to open up popping her head out, but then gets scared and recluses back into her shell. I would have never understood this if I just labelled the person and thought "well, that's BPD for you!"

for example with psychopathy, a trademark symptom is that "the person doesn't have emotions, they only imitate them". well, you can say that about any person. how do I know that *anyone* has emotions at all? maybe *everyone* is imitating and I'm the only person who has real emotions. what if I'm actually delusional and my emotions are just imitations but I don't realize it?