Dude909 said:
Stop wondering and analizing what women do and why they do it. It never makes any sense anyway. Just do your thing, follow your agenda (not hers), invite them along for the ride, and let them decide if they're up for it or not. This is one of the top 5 lessons you can learn about the game, be glad you are learning it now and not when you're old and fat.
stop trying to make sense out of nonsense, as beige phillip says.
true.
but if nobody is analyzing anything then we wouldn't have pua advice, books websites etc. and without analyzing girls motives, behaviours etc then how can we hope to improve our game. many of chase's articles are built around deconstructing reasons girls do x, y, or z
anyway, it's hard to talk about without giving the impression that i'm needy or bothered by it. but that isn't the case. it's interesting, though. i talked to one FB about this girl, her first comment, on hearing that the girl had been in my place but didn't fuck -
"then what the hell was she doing there?"
this FB is on my wavelength. the girl came to my place under no false pretense, but resisted my efforts to get physical. why would she be there, alone in my place, knowing i'm trying to fuck her?
i've offered pretty much nothing to this girl, i don't buy her stuff. it's not like she's trading me her time for dinner and drinks and rides in my fast car to trendy nightlife venues. if so, then it would be clear she is using me. as it is, i have nothing she can use. if she wanted to make a co-worker jealous, there would be no need to spend more time after dinner. she came "along for the ride" literally with me, having a cocktail when she never would otherwise drink. and spending a couple hours more with me than necessary. like i said "as it is, i don't see the benefit for her. what game could she be playing?"
last night i spoke to the same FB, her first question - "is she a virgin?" my guess is yes. she really is a child, i shouldn't be having anything to do with her. maybe this is her way of "dating" and she's kinda clueless at it.
anyway, the questions are there to be asked, it doesn't mean i'm hung up on it. if your chess opponent makes an unexpected move, you're gonna wonder why. even if you conclude that he just sucks at chess, you're still gonna alter your play to take that into account.
Franco said:
lao che,
i still win with a free dinner and the same amount of chance that she'll fuck me anyway.
I won't comment on the dinner (maybe that's a big win for you!) but you certainly lose in the chance that she'll sleep with you. Your chances go way down when you allow her to decide the turf, especially if it's at
her work.
Actively work next time to reschedule a meet on your terms, whether that's at a nearby cafe/yogurt/bar/etc. or directly at your place (depending on her interest levels).
- Franco
i don't disagree with this, however i have specific examples of breaking the rules, of having a girl invite me to a ... gathering ... where i knew (from pickup advice) that it was a bad idea to go, but i also knew that i could turn it around and make it work.
plus, the chances of me fucking her last night, after meeting at her workplace, were far greater than zero, which the chance would be were i never to see her again.
as for the dinner, what else i'm gonna do on a wednesday night. i had no plans and shopping and cooking was a chore i could do without yesterday. so fuck it, why not? that was my reasoning. that's what i mean by "i win" - the whole thing was a net positive for me.
i chose to view the dinner as a form of investment on her behalf, and in fact throughout the evening she invested much more, conversationally, than she had previously. i was surprised at how well it went. much better than when she was at my place.
edit:
Franco said:
depending on her interest levels - Franco
i know from past dealings that this girl's interest level is zero. or at least that's the impression she gives. rescheduling a meeting place, therefore, would just result in no no and more no this girl is a negative-compliance machine .... i did contemplate it briefly but the outcomes were -
she says no to my suggestions and i don't go to dinner. never see her again.
she says no to my suggestions so i crumble and go to meet her at the restaurant. huge value hit
i decline her offer entirely
i make no alternative suggestions, meet her for dinner.
number 4 seemed like the best option to me (for reasons stated previously)