Howdy everyone,
Hope everything's going well on your end
As I'm patching up loopholes in my game, I've stumbled across an apparent paradox:
Can you play to win and be outcome independent at the same time?
To me, it seems they are mutually exclusive.
Here's how I went about to solve the problem:
Initially, I completely let go of the outcome. I convinced myself that I don't need to get laid.
Of course, it didn't go well at all. I would not push for sex when I had, I wouldn't escalate. At my all time low, I didn't even bother chatting up girls. Had a totally deserved dry spell for 7 months. (broke out of it eventually)
Next, I shifted gears and decided to go all in on my desire to achieve my goal (i.e, get laid)
I then realised that I actually could not go all in with my desire, given that I was too emotionally attached to the outcome. If i succeeded, it would be so awesome but I dreaded failure.
The best guys I've seen in field seem to have the ability to play to win and be unnatttached with the outcome. They might be dissapointed if they zone in on a girl and they don't succeed but it doesn't last that long.
What do you guys think?
Have you experienced the paradox of playing to win and outcome independence?
The easy answer is become process oriented.
- Did I open properly?
- Did I get her to qualify herself?
- Did I make her invest?
- Did I give her good reasons to trust me?
- Did I break the touch barrier?
- Did I escalate?
- Did I pull back when I needed to?
The process works. It's not as linear as we make it sound, but it works. I would not be here if I didn't get 3's and 7's to work back in the day. (damn, this shit really works!).
That said...
You're living in a false reality.
The outcome independence/dependence thing is a
logic bomb that rookies should best avoid. There are a bunch of logic bombs that leak into the scene from the blue pill world
- Looks vs Game
- Money/Looks/Status vs Game
- Indirect vs Direct
- You pay in one way or another, money or time
The Blue Pill - i.e. Society's programming - looks at the world in binary terms, or tits for tats. (like if you have a bunch of tattoos you start attracting tits).
Assortative mating, win or lose. Basically X quality girl will only go with X+ quality guy.
There's no book that "un plugs" you from the Matrix.
Personal Experience does. Every time a guy "punches above his weight class" - the whole idea of "weight class" needs to fall apart.
Acting with intent of fucking a specific girl
There are definitely guys out there that are trying to hook up ASAP. They don't need to "push" the girl and force something to work that's not going to work, they just see the nonverbal communications and head off problems.
Why does this work?
Chicks like to fuck. Chicks like sex. They like drugs and alcohol too. Especially the chicks that we want - the attractive out going ones. But even the Church Mouse girl wants to be extroverted and relaxed, she's often judgmental about the pretty girls/popular girls (who were judgmental about her...)
In my view, I'm just trying to give her permission to be the person she truly wants to be.
Natural Born Killers
With that in mind, don't for a second think that there aren't successful guys that are not purposeful, intentional, and definitely trying to put the P into the V in 90 minutes or less. And only some of those guys are PUAs. Naturals, Pretty Boys, Jocks, Rich Kids, the powerful, the popular, and the famous are driven by the same testosterone and ego that we all are. They all have their systems, and no two are a like.
And sometimes these guys are THIRSTY and still manage to hook up - because everything else they have going is greater than being thirsty.
How do you get to this state?
The more a guy goes out, gets comfortable approaching, interacting, etc - the less and less mystery there is. A man gets a sense when the chick is ready - and that's really his animal brain interpreting all of her animal brain body language. It's not like the Lion and the Lioness discuss sex before they couple.
Ex. The closer you get to real "I want to fuck this guy right now" - Some chicks get this "shimmy", pressing their legs together because they're trying to hold something back.
The Game is Played in Comfort
Not to sound cliche and woo woo, but basically the more "centered" you are, the more relaxed you are, and chicks tend to relax around a guy that is very relaxed. Cause she can be attracted (he's got such a cute face), she can be turned on (nipples hard, pussy wet), but most of the time she's not gonna fuck until she's comfortable. Until she trusts.
And she's just measuring trust/comfort signals that she's getting from you, her friends, strangers, and the environment.
But if you stay in this idea of "outcome oriented" or "process oriented", you're just closing off other ways to see the situation. That's the real problem with a lot of game. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet, so there are at least 8 billion ways to skin a cat.
Outcome dependence/independence is a bad way to frame the situation.
My take
WIA
