LR Playing Her Game

[Grand Pooba]

This is one of the most fun meets I’ve had, which is why I’m posting it. Broke a lot of “rules” but I think that’s the point - when you start to operate from “feeling” out a situation as well as following a gut instinct, and reading the signs correctly.

——


Background

About a month ago I matched with a girl on Coffee Meets Bagel, let’s call her “Silvia.” We quickly traded numbers, started texting in a very direct to-the-point manner. For about four weeks or so I asked her out for coffee once a week, and something would always get in the way. For one, we live only twenty minutes apart, but she was not willing to come to my area unless on a weekend, and I was not willing to go to her area on a weeknight - I felt I need to use my time more wisely and have girls meet me near wherever I already am, rather than going out of my way. I’ve been traveling every weekend for the past three weekends, and prior to that we had an afternoon coffee meet planned on the only weekend I was in town during October, but I flaked on that because she wanted to meet in the big city that day instead of my area - saying she had plans later - and I figured the logistics were not worth the effort.

Fast forward to this week - I invite her out for coffee again, and she says that she’s down to get some on a weeknight if it’s in her area. Figuring that stalling is getting stupid, we agree to Thursday night in her area. I changed our plans to drinks, and she picked a place.


Meet, First Spot

I met her around 7:25pm, 25 minutes late. She was sitting at the bar with a drink already there - she’s a Chinese girl from the mainland who has been in the US for about three years, got her Masters in California this year and moved to the East Coast just four months ago. She had a cute face, but with a bangin’ body - skinny and toned. Our styles matched - she had eccentric fashion with some dark edge.

Now, I had just gotten with a different new girl the night before - so my confidence on THIS night and my “state” was very good. Basically, I was just looking to have fun with no expectations - and that’s how I approached the meet with Silvia. I was SUPER laid back and chill, just having fun and not being aggressive in the least.

Very early on we were just talking about where she’s from, what I do and what she does, travel and her life in China, and over time I noticed that her body language was VERY good - slight lean in, she was in a 2:00 position relative to the bar so that our legs were almost touching, and her vibe was just generally fiesty and tough, but still flirtatious.

Very early on she downed a drink in like one minute, while I just sipped on mine. She then got another one, and chilled on that while we talked.

Somehow the conversation turned to my job, and she asked me to “design her dream house,” soon after which she pulled out a napkin and took a pen, starting to design it entirely herself. She started to describe how she wants a beachfront property in Mexico with a massive three story house with three kids and two dogs, and she needs to meet a really wealthy man to be able to achieve this dream. It sets up a frame used later.

This place closed at 8, so that forced us to go elsewhere since we were having fun, and I could tell by her body language that she was into me. At the bar I asked her if she had food at her place - she did - and said let’s just go there and eat - nope! She then picked a Tapas place a ten minute drive away. I told her I’ll drive.

We left the bar and I told her to put her hand in my arm, she complied immediately. Right off the bat she asked a couple of questions, and my answers:
Why are you on a dating app? <to see what’s out there, meet some cool people>
What are you looking for? <I just go with the flow, see what’s out there and I’m open to whatever it turns into>


Second Spot

We got in my car, she had a couple of bags with her, and I actually parked in a bad spot and got a parking ticket but fifteen minutes later we relocated to a different area, further from her home.

The tapas spot was a pretty brief stop, we were there for maybe twenty minutes. We ordered a steak tapas dish and a pitcher of sangria which mostly I drank.

The conversation was getting stale at this point - basically, it was time to pull or go home (in retrospect). Our body language her was very coupley - I had her sit right next to me, and I put my arm around her waist to scratch the other side of her hip, which she then took and interlocked her hand into that hand as my arm was still around her.

So far so good.


The Fun Begins

It was around 9:15 at this point and I was getting tired, so I told her that I’m gonna head back and she can come with me, or I’ll just drop her home. She rebuffed my offer to go to mine, as well as when I suggested that we go to hers, so we left the tapas spot hand in hand and got in my car. I started driving to her apartment, following her directions and arriving around 9:30.

Honestly did not care if the night continued, or if she wanted to hang out longer. I was tired.

Interestingly enough, I pulled into her apartment complex and at this point she started going through the motions of saying goodbye, goodnight, etc, inside the car but didn’t actually leave the car. In fact, she was stalling getting out. Hmmmmm…

I knew she was into me, so I went for the kiss while she was in the car. She complied with a giant, wet, sloppy kiss, and then came back for more. We made out for a little while.

But now the fun really began. She started to ask me what I’m looking for with her - I gave some very vague non-answer - and then she stated that she’s in the US because she’s looking for a husband to marry and have kids with before her visa expires, because she wants to be an American citizen. Then she said that she knows I’m only looking for sex or something not serious, and she’s only looking for something serious, so this is probably not gonna work out because she knows I don’t really like her. She also asked me if I have Asian fever (LOL).

I think if this happened a year ago, I would have quit at this point. But now, hey, fuck it, let’s have some fun with this!

I started to play along with her - first accusing her that she has “white fever” which she nodded her head to in agreement, and then proclaimed that she’s going to find a nice wealthy white guy to marry and have beautiful children with. She then again proclaimed that she needs to find something serious, because she wants to get married. I said back “OK cool, we’ll get married. In fact, let’s go get married right now! Let’s take a plane to Las Vegas.” It was too far, but I came up with the perfect solution - Atlantic City. Let’s go to Atlantic City RIGHT NOW, and get married.

She played right along into this. At this point, because we were still in front of her apartment but she wasn’t getting out, I told her she can either get out and go home to sleep, or we can start driving to Atlantic City right now and get married. We created an entire false narrative around this - how we’re going to get married for two years and only two years, and it will be an agreement only legally, and we will get divorced right after that so that she can have her permanent citizenship but also be able to date other American guys. Then we talked about our children - we’ll have three children in two years, including a set of twins, and they’ll be absolutely gorgeous with green eyes.


Then, because she still wasn’t getting out, I just told her we’re going to Atlantic City, and I started driving. Then, she told me “yay, we’re getting married!” and took one of my hands, grabbed one of my rings off it, and putting on a wedding ring. I actually switched them out and gave her one that fit better, which she held onto on that finger all night. First we stopped at a Burger King right next to her building so that she could go to the bathroom - and she took all her bags with her and my ring, and then she came back. I again gave her the option - your apartment is right there, do you want to go home, or go to my area with me, or go to Atlantic City? And she said, enthusiastically, “let’s take off tomorrow and go to Atlantic City” and I replied “OK!” I started driving.

And then somewhere along the way it hit me - what if I just start driving to my house, but tell her that we’re going to Atlantic City? Fuck it, let’s do this - I’m driving to my apartment but I’ll say we’re going towards AC.

She knew we weren’t headed to AC, but didn’t do anything besides trying to to derail this a couple of times:
“Omg, am I being kidnapped? We’re going to your house? I’m going to call 911” <to this I actually replied “babe, say it whenever you want and I will take you home immediately, but right now we’re going to Atlantic City.” She never protested to this.>
“Let’s go eat ramen in New York City”
“We’re not going to your house, right? I’m definitely not going to your house.”
“Omg I’m soon hungry, lets go to New York and eat something.”

Twenty minutes later, we were in my area. I parked and she got out and followed me up to my apartment with some casual conversation.


My Town

At home I offered her water or beer and then asked her if she wants to smoke some weed. She was down for beer and weed, so I poured us a beer and got some green. We were flirting and continuing on this whole marriage narrative, talking about all our future plans, while making out heavily time to time. She was very physically close to me, but whenever I started moving my hands near her pussy as I was making out with her she would push my hand away and slap my hand or my chest. Haha, this was so awesome. So fiesty, I love it. Then she started to proclaim things like “I’m a good girl” and “I won’t have sex before marriage, let’s go to Atlantic City and get married” and other such things. Still was resistant to my escalation.

Then I smoked and blew it into her mouth, then made out with her. This happened a few times. She chilled out a lot and became way more sensual and quiet, and started to really get into the make outs. This was the cue - I took her hand and led her to the bed, and laid her down on her back and got on top of her. All our clothes were on.

In bed, she shit tested me like none other. I was escalating and slowly All kinds of questions came up that tried to stall what I was doing:
“Hey, I told you, no sex before marriage.”
“You asked me for coffee every week for four weeks, why?”
“Why do you like me? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Why do you like me?”
“Are you a player?”
“How many girls are you sleeping with right now?”

To each of these, I didn’t respond AT ALL - I just smiled and kept doing what I was doing. And slowly, but surely, my hand was going into her panties and fingering her (she was SOAKING wet), and taking off her clothes, one step at a time.

At some point she just submitted and let me take her, and started passionately and aggressively making out with me, then fucking me.

It was a long hour or so of very passionate sex - she took me like a champ and even though we started out very slow and gentle, by the end we were getting into some pretty rough and aggressive fucking.

After this I gave her some clothes and we went to grab some late night food a short walk away. She was holding my hands like a couple the entire time. Though we were still engaged in it, the whole “marriage” narrative was starting to fall apart, and we were quieter but talking about other things and vibing more like friends. Twenty minutes later, we walked back home.

I gave her a choice - I could either drop her off now and she can sleep at home, or she can sleep here and I’ll drop her off around 5:00am so that I can start getting ready for work. She asked me for PJs - she’s obviously staying - so instead I gave her just a shirt and she slept with no underwear.

Did one more round before sleeping, a quick one since she was really sore, and then we passed out spooning.


Next Morning

We woke up around 5, did one more round, and then I told her to get ready. She was much more chill and mellowed out in the morning. Left my place at 5:20, I dropped her off at home around 5:40, then drove back and parked my car and was home by around 6:15 or so. We talked about hanging out again on Monday the next week.

Text response the next day was good.

Saw her again this week.

 

[mindful]

Nice man this was great! The whole narrative thing was golden.

What did you guys do on the second hang out? Did she come straight to your place?

 

[.....]

Okay, just clear my cofusion here - you literally said you are gonna marry her (in joking way right?)...,and she agreed and got excited, so does that mean she knew that you were just kidding or just playing around?

I used to thought that to never say any promisy things to girls, that you dissqualify yourself as boyfrein/husband candidate.
But you just exchanged Rings .

I literally laughed when she asked you for pajamas and you gave her your shirt with no underwear !

Good lay man.

 

[Grand Pooba]

What did you guys do on the second hang out? Did she come straight to your place?

Pretty much.

Okay, just clear my cofusion here - you literally said you are gonna marry her (in joking way right?)...,and she agreed and got excited, so does that mean she knew that you were just kidding or just playing around?

I used to thought that to never say any promisy things to girls, that you dissqualify yourself as boyfrein/husband candidate.
But you just exchanged Rings .

Yeah that's the point...it was a game we created with each other, playing into an alternate reality. It was 1. fun, and 2. I out dominated her.

 

[skin_man]

At the bar I asked her if she had food at her place - she did - and said let’s just go there and eat - nope!

What you mean "nope! "? She resisted or you refrained from going to her's?
jw

 

[Grand Pooba]

At the bar I asked her if she had food at her place - she did - and said let’s just go there and eat - nope!

What you mean "nope! "? She resisted or you refrained from going to her's?
jw

She said we're not going to her place.

 

[Motiv]

Hi Grand Pooba,

I've been absent GC a little while, but you may remember having commented on a lay report of mine from almost two years ago about a Danish girl. Your feedback was insightful!

I myself have neglected to rack up any new lays in the past year, yet I have somehow managed to maintain (so far…) two stable FWB's with two married chics for a year and running now — learned a LOT from these experiences.

By male standards, healthy women are virtual schizophrenics. This girl probably does want to have a big house with three children, two dogs, and a wealthy husband (and one day she probably will, assuming this is not merely a reflection of her parents' expectations), yet the man she finds to provide this for her will likely understand nothing about women sexually or make her wet as you did. One of my married gals is also Asian, and they are among the more schizophrenic women I know: societal/parental pressure to maintain appearances runs deep in their culture, driving them ever harder toward temptation (a.k.a. natural desire) behind closed doors.

Find a woman who truly thinks like a man, and we will probably see one very unattractive gal — what irony! I love your admission to how you suppose you would have ejected one year ago versus now: women thrive on plausible deniability, and while this is emasculating behavior by male standards, it makes women… women! Learn how to navigate this choppy sea (a la goofy narrative that supports their frame of plausible deniability), and we become free to penetrate at will as you ultimately did (where most men sink in frustration).

This was a great read — thanks for posting!

-Mischief

P.S. Forgive me if I am totally off, but are you Varun Raja? The GC podcast interviewer?

 

[Motiv]

Re-reading what I just wrote last night, I think my writing tends to come off preachy – as if I think I'm the expert here… I know I'm far from that.

Please feel free to knock down anything that sounds like bullshit to you.

I'm here to learn and share.

-M

 

[Grand Pooba]

I myself have neglected to rack up any new lays in the past year, yet I have somehow managed to maintain (so far…) two stable FWB's with two married chics for a year and running now — learned a LOT from these experiences.

Nice! I'm really curious how that whole arrangement works; assume their husbands don't know that they're seeing you (and maybe you're more like "young fun" for these women).

One of my married gals is also Asian, and they are among the more schizophrenic women I know: societal/parental pressure to maintain appearances runs deep in their culture, driving them ever harder toward temptation (a.k.a. natural desire) behind closed doors.

Yes, there is a big "saving face" culture among Asian women. I think less so with more western born or raised girls, but it still exists to a degree.

Your greater point is more significant - there will be cultural differences between different girls with different backgrounds. Even among different types of Asian women, for instance a Chinese girl versus a Korean girl, exist different cultural forces that you must understand and calibrate to, so that both you and her can get what you want. In a similar way a White American girl from suburban Los Angeles could be very different from a similar girl from rural Texas could be very different from a similar girl raised in Manhattan could be very different from a similar girl raised in Atlanta, etc.

One thing that helped me a lot is to pick a niche, and then build your own persona, fundamentals, vibe around that niche. That way you are naturally attractive to that niche, but also understand it inside and out and thus become more comfortable.

I love your admission to how you suppose you would have ejected one year ago versus now: women thrive on plausible deniability, and while this is emasculating behavior by male standards, it makes women… women! Learn how to navigate this choppy sea (a la goofy narrative that supports their frame of plausible deniability), and we become free to penetrate at will as you ultimately did (where most men sink in frustration).

Ultimately this was just another extended test from this girl, and another opportunity to make her submit under the frame of plausible deniability. It was also a lot of fun for both of us, super important.

P.S. Forgive me if I am totally off, but are you Varun Raja? The GC podcast interviewer?

Maybe

 

[Motiv]

Nice! I'm really curious how that whole arrangement works; assume their husbands don't know that they're seeing you (and maybe you're more like "young fun" for these women).

One of the husbands is definitely suspicious, but he is also her wealthy sugar daddy (and she'd make a killing in divorce). He is somewhat possessive (tries to track her iPhone, etc.) but also on the quiet/sad side of the emotion spectrum. They invite me to hang out at their house now and then as well as experience some pretty lavish holiday parties there — pretty cool! The husband and I shake hands and share stories once in a while — I play coy, nice guy (kinda my original personality before coming into seduction). She is 13 years my senior, although I'm not necessarily young — 37. To those of you still in your twenties, I think it's the sweet spot between hot mom's and their hot ass daughters.

The other husband is 100% clueless, and I am the same age as his wife (although he is five years older) — Asian couple. This one is a more serious relationship for me (and her — a "desperate housewife"). We have striking chemistry (sexual and otherwise), tells me I'm like a big "brother" (although in bed, literally calls me "daddy" while she's my "dirty little whore"), and we also do serious professional work together once in a while — mutual profession and alma mater played a big role in our meeting and seem to play a driving force in our ongoing relationship.

Yes, there is a big "saving face" culture among Asian women. I think less so with more western born or raised girls, but it still exists to a degree.

Your greater point is more significant - there will be cultural differences between different girls with different backgrounds. Even among different types of Asian women, for instance a Chinese girl versus a Korean girl, exist different cultural forces that you must understand and calibrate to, so that both you and her can get what you want. In a similar way a White American girl from suburban Los Angeles could be very different from a similar girl from rural Texas could be very different from a similar girl raised in Manhattan could be very different from a similar girl raised in Atlanta, etc.

One thing that helped me a lot is to pick a niche, and then build your own persona, fundamentals, vibe around that niche. That way you are naturally attractive to that niche, but also understand it inside and out and thus become more comfortable.

Good advice! When I first started going out, I just hit bars and clubs aimlessly. Seduction was totally new to me (at 35), I had never been out, and I did my best to get wild in any way possible… ended up with a few lucky/odd flings, but once turning my focus on women in my field (genuine passion and thing I do for a living), flirting, dating, and even sex started coming more naturally (as opposed to some extraordinary act I would get to try with a few weird women). What's cool is being able to engage in meaningful activities that make ongoing interaction very fulfilling.

Ultimately this was just another extended test from this girl, and another opportunity to make her submit under the frame of plausible deniability. It was also a lot of fun for both of us, super important.

Fun is important! I think it can be hilariously fun rotating vibes between serious, mischievous, and harmless goof, then swapping those around randomly. Since I characterize myself as somewhat moody and nutty anyway, I may have a talent for projecting my own schizophrenia advantageously.

And nice to chat with the GC podcast man! I think I've tuned into all of them and finished feeling enlightened every time.

Cheers,
-M

 

[poor guy]

Hi Grand Pooba,

What did you guys do on the second hang out? Did she come straight to your place?

Pretty much.

Okay, just clear my cofusion here - you literally said you are gonna marry her (in joking way right?)...,and she agreed and got excited, so does that mean she knew that you were just kidding or just playing around?

I used to thought that to never say any promisy things to girls, that you dissqualify yourself as boyfrein/husband candidate.
But you just exchanged Rings .

Yeah that's the point...it was a game we created with each other, playing into an alternate reality. It was 1. fun, and 2. I out dominated her.

I am new to GC. I really enjoying reading your posts! It’s a really fun meet! So you guys still meet up and fuck?
I have similar confusions as Kent. Sounds like Silvia wanted something serious, have you ever defined your relationship with her? LTR, MLTR or FB etc.? What if she took the narrative seriously and makes a drama out of it later?
How do you usually do your time and girls management? I have a feeling that you are always dating new girls (maybe also open relationships). I work for a finical company in one of the major cities and am always overwhelmed by my work. I just have bad luck with girls all the time.

 

[Grand Pooba]

I am new to GC. I really enjoying reading your posts!

Thanks, man. Welcome to GC! I look forward to reading some posts from you .

So you guys still meet up and fuck?

Yep, still dating this girl. Been three months, see each other once or twice a week.

I have similar confusions as Kent. Sounds like Silvia wanted something serious, have you ever defined your relationship with her? LTR, MLTR or FB etc.? What if she took the narrative seriously and makes a drama out of it later?

Eventually all girls want something serious. For various reasons.
If I'm seeing a girl, I usually run it under a "relationship" framework unless it's clearly an FB, but I never talk about "what are we" until she brings it up - even then, I try to defer it.
I've found that if you can identify and fulfill a girl's needs early on in the relationship - every girl has different needs - you can usually keep her happy enough where she doesn't ask this question (although almost every girl has an idea I'm seeing other girls). Even if she brings it up, I won't talk about other girls. Don't ask, don't tell. Confirming her suspicions doesn't do good for anybody involved.
If she really bugs me, I'll just drop her.
If she can't handle it and wants to leave, I'll let her leave, no questions asked.

Here's a basic list of five human relationship needs, and two of these are always the most dominant. Credit to Dr. David Tian, PHD. Identify the top two in your partner and run relationships accordingly:
- Significance, Achievement.
- Stability, Consistency.
- Variety, Inconsistency.
- Connection, Communication.
- Love

Silvia knows I'm seeing other girls. I made a mistake two weeks ago - another girl came over the night before I saw her, left a pad in the bathroom trash bin, and I didn't check for it (I usually do, but I was in a rush that morning). At night when Silvia came over, she went to the bathroom and saw the pad. She cried a little the next day, causing some drama, and I challenged it with my own dramatic frame. Push-pull, on a relationship level. I hold and have always held the dominant frame. So far we're still seeing each other, but I'm still observing how this develops. She might fuck another guy to "get revenge" but that doesn't bother me in the least - I still hold the frame.

Drama doesn't really bother me much these days. I try to address a girl's concerns as best as I can within my own frame for the relationship, and quite frankly if she doesn't like it I am happy to let her go. She can go find what she wants, I can live happier without her drama and find another girl instead.

Knowing what you want, and what she wants, helps a lot to manage different girls.

How do you usually do your time and girls management?

It's really hard, honestly. I've been doing this for about two years now and have learned a lot since I started, with some of the mistakes I made. Not perfect yet. I don't recommend this lifestyle to most, but if you want the thrill of seeing different girls in a relationship context, here's some general rules:

* Be breezy and adapt to rapidly changing circumstances.
* Know your own limits on time commitment - what you can and cannot do. I.e.: if you're working 80+ hours a week, it's going to be very difficult to manage more than 2 simultaneous relationships. A single LTR might be a better fit.
* See girls once a week, sometimes twice a week. When you do see her, give her 110% of your attention and commitment.
* Stay in touch otherwise - respond if she reaches out to you. Reach out to her only when you want to see her. Be a normal caring human being.
* Learn to say "no" and stand your ground. Say it nicely.
* Sometimes I will flake and reschedule with a girl to better manage my overall schedule in the big picture. I.e. if I made plans with Nancy for Monday night, and she's also free Tuesday, and I was planning to hang out with Barbara on Tuesday but she can't do Tuesday and happens to be free Monday night, I will cancel Nancy for Monday and see her Tuesday instead, and will meet Barbara on Monday night. This is kind of shitty, so I try to avoid it - makes some girls feel like they're not valued which can cause other problems.
* If my non-woman life is getting to hectic, or there are too many women in my rotation, I'll cut the girls I don't like (nicely) and keep the ones I do, or I'll keep seeing the laggards but on a reduced schedule. If I desire to date some girls but also want to meet and see new girls, I'll stick to dating just two or three women (again cutting girls I don't like) until I add new girls.

I have a feeling that you are always dating new girls (maybe also open relationships).

I am seeing 3-6 girls at any time, it varies in that range but has been pretty consistent for the last 24 months (there was a two month period in 2016 where this dropped to just a single girl).
I would rather have two girls I really, really like, than 6 girls I modestly like.
Open relationships are fun but they also waste a ton of time that could be applied elsewhere.

I work for a finical company in one of the major cities and am always overwhelmed by my work.

With respect to women, what do you really want? Both in the short term, and in the long term?
My life these days revolves around my full time job, my side work, my women, travel, and my health/fitness.
I don't watch TV, I don't hang out with friends too often (only when I'm traveling), and I cut out or keep at minimum the things that waste time.
To make things more efficient, I try to combine elements of my life when I can - to kill two birds with one stone. For instance: if I want to go work out but I also want to see a girl the same evening, I'll bring her to the gym with me and that will be our "date" at least until we go home. Or: if I want to travel, and I also want to have ONS's or flings, I'll just do the hookups while traveling.

I just have bad luck with girls all the time.

Stop telling yourself this. Say positive affirmations instead. Example:
"I am having great luck with women, like I always do. I'm so grateful, and it feels awesome!"

 

[poor guy]

I am new to GC. I really enjoying reading your posts!

Thanks, man. Welcome to GC! I look forward to reading some posts from you .

Thanks and thank you for the detailed feedback!

I just can't make quote work so I will ask questions this way.
I think I am looking for something serious, something can make me settle down. But I also want to enjoy the fun seeing different girls while hunting for "the one". Do you have this kind of confusions while seeing different girls and think one of them is the special one? Will you cut other girls when you find the one?

If you never talk about "what are we", how can you find out what girls' need (apparently you know what you want)? GP, looks like you are doing well in all these poly relationship thing why you think all the girls you see know that you are seeing other girls? I feel the whole point is to treat them nicely and to make them feel they are the only one you have. Girls are silly sometimes, especially when they fall for you. Do you feel the need to point out the poly relationship at a certain time? Or will you continue to have fun with them and pretend nothing is actually going on if they do not ask? I tried to avoid this kind of topic but they just kept asking me questions and I finally lost it.

After she found the pad, did she turn off? Any specific examples for push-pull on a relationship level? I just hate dramas and am always horrible at dealing with them.

Go back to the Silvia, sounds like you do like her. Is she the one of the tops or just the one of them? With the girl(s) you like the most, will you do any boyfriend type things. Where are the limits?

Also, which top two relationship needs do you usually apply to your patterns? Is that OK to say "I love you" to girls? I always feel love is a really heavy word and it feels like a commitment. Do you or more advanced guys use this word often but actually do not mean anything?

- Significance, Achievement.
- Stability, Consistency.
- Variety, Inconsistency.
- Connection, Communication.
- Love

It's been 3 months already, did the the sex drive die down? How long can you be around girls without feeling the chemical dies down? Once this happens, will you come up with ideas to keep the chemical flowing or just drop them and find new girls?

Please advice