Plow or eject on a date?

[Calibration]

It happened twice in a row:

1) I met a chic in the park 2 days ago and we were having a great time. She was an architect. She was very hot and driven in life and overly ambitious. Ambition is good but if someone takes it too far to the extent of feeling sad and depressed when it's not working, I find it repulsive.

I should've just shut up and listened to what she had to say but I gave my view of how life is so beautiful when you live in the present moment and not too caught up in the rat race etc. She said "don't try to cut my wings" and didn't like it obviously. Energy dropped instantly and saw her facial expression and body language change.
After sometime she got up saying she wants to make a phone call and left. How would you recover from it?
In retrospect, firstly I should've just not got into that discussion but I didn't know she wouldn't like it and secondly, I felt I should've just got up and left when the energy dropped.

2) Yesterday I took a chic on Instant date and she was very bubbly throughout the date for almost an hour, then she asked me something and she didn't like what I said.
Her energy dropped immediately and I continued talking normally but I noticed it was not the same. After sometime, she said she wants to leave since she has to make a phone call soon. We paid up quickly and left and she literally was walking at running speed before we parted ways.
In retrospect, after the energy dropped, I felt I should've just said, "Look, something changed, I don't know what. I'm not feeling it anymore. Let's leave".

These are 2 instances but in general, I feel more than what I'm saying, it's about my energy that I project that repulses them.
This happens when I have some strong beliefs which goes against her beliefs OR it could be when I have some limiting beliefs of myself and I feel challenged and I try to overcompensate by trying hard OR it's something that she wasn't expecting and I can't change it (for ex: age, lifestyle etc)

I don't want to come across as try-hard to please her by changing my response or something cos it's already admitted and I don't want to lie. I also don't want to walk away defiant being butt-hurt. What's the best strategy?

So, my question is:
1. What can you do to stop the energy dwindling, when you say something that she doesn't like?
2. If it does happen and the energy changes, is it better to auto-reject or plow by changing subject (which is what I try doing but it doesn't work)

 

[Skills]

I am very polirizing and opinionated, but pre sex, you want to be calibrated and pretty much do the oppossite of what you did, as long as she is not messing with your boundaries... you can use words like " what about this what you think.about this" frame as curuosity if she goes negative on the answer you go " oh i see" after banging them couple of times then you can come out more polirizing etc... this is one of my problems with some red pill teachers...

 

[Will_V]

Sometimes you can't help it but:
- Maintain sexual tension, if there's chemistry a lot of this stuff is far less important
- Make sure you are not overreacting in a negative way on her initial reaction, sometimes when things go downhill very fast it's because of the feedback loop of your reactions to her reactions that get out of control.
- Keep things a bit lighthearted and teasing, that way nothing ever gets too serious
- Be ready to do a reframe even if it's obvious, girls are often very happy to have an excuse even if it's a flimsy one

 

[ulrich]

You can’t fix those kind of things. You got to prevent them.

I don’t know what you said to them (I assume you are omitting saying it because you think it is no problem or you know for a fact it is the problem) but whatever that was, it needs to stop.
Something you’re saying is killing all the comfort and connection.

In other words, at some point you are so deep in telling your side of things that you steamroll all over the girl in front of you.
That’s not attractive.

 

[Calibration]

I am very polirizing and opinionated, but pre sex, you want to be calibrated and pretty much do the oppossite of what you did, as long as she is not messing with your boundaries... you can use words like " what about this what you think.about this" frame as curuosity if she goes negative on the answer you go " oh i see" after banging them couple of times then you can come out more polirizing etc... this is one of my problems with some red pill teachers...

Then I need 100s of hours of practice cos it's so easy to see through my face that I'm not meaning what I'm saying or I'm being dishonest, if I'm agreeing. My friends can pick it up so easily from my face, if something's wrong

- Make sure you are not overreacting in a negative way on her initial reaction, sometimes when things go downhill very fast it's because of the feedback loop of your reactions to her reactions that get out of control.

Bro! You don't say! This is exactly what happens.
There are a few things that I don't like discussing. Mainly it's about my childhood and growing up that I'm not comfortable discussing with anyone.

I initially avoid it and then she becomes suspicious and looking at her anxious facial expressions, I try to explain why I'm not comfortable and she becomes even more suspicious. It just snowballs from there. This has happened with lots of women and it never goes well from there. I just don't know what to do about it.

This can also happen when she tries to investigate my age. I'm almost mid 30s but I look 25 and most girls think I'm 25 but when they ask how long I've been working, my travels, life experiences, they try to deduce my age and start asking specific questions of what year I went there and when did I finish uni etc. My facial expressions give away. This is not as bothersome as talking about my childhood, though.

You can’t fix those kind of things. You got to prevent them.

Word. When a conversation goes in that direction, I already start feeling repulsive. My voice tone changes with my facial expressions etc. I've tried a lot of times to appear normal but it's hard.

I don’t know what you said to them (I assume you are omitting saying it because you think it is no problem or you know for a fact it is the problem) but whatever that was, it needs to stop.
Something you’re saying is killing all the comfort and connection.

In other words, at some point you are so deep in telling your side of things that you steamroll all over the girl in front of you.

I'm surprised you guys got this accurately.

That’s not attractive.

 

[ulrich]

I'm surprised you guys got this accurately.

Oh, a lot of us have been there. I certainly was.

In this internet age it seems like having strong positions and being opinionated is normal in person behavior.
It is not and it demolishes connection between people, particular women.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Did you know what you were going to say was going to kill the mood or be polarizing?

If you've got that Republican/Libertarian style you have to lead with that instead of springing it on the chick during a date. (Instant or otherwise).

 

[Calibration]

Did you know what you were going to say was going to kill the mood or be polarizing?

If you've got that Republican/Libertarian style you have to lead with that instead of springing it on the chick during a date. (Instant or otherwise).

Haha.. I just state my opinion and I don't impose it. Isn't it equally bad to agree to everything?

A couple of chics have mentioned to me that it's very refreshing to talk to me since I don't agree with everything. Among them, one said, "how can you be so strong and sure about what you believe in? It's just so impressive".

But I should admit that I've lost more girls than getting them being strongly opinionated. This is where it gets confusing and I just tell myself "at least you stood by what you believe in". There must be a middle ground. Like @Skills said, maybe I should just be curious. It's a balancing act of agreeing and not agreeing I guess.

 

[ulrich]

It’s more of a balancing act of being mysterious and showing your hand that anything else.

It is obvious that you have polarizing views and that girls do not relate to you in those.
You’re better served by being a mystery and let those things out progressively (months) than stating all your positions and having girls instant-reject you for that.

At a very basic level, seduction is a balance of:
+ Comfort (saying things she can relate to)
+ Tension (saying things she may object but put you in an attractive light)
+ Mystery (letting her fill the gaps of the things you don’t say)

There is no benefit to saying things you know she will object and put you in an unattractive light.
You break the comfort, fail to raise tension and kill your mystery.

Polarizing confident views may get you respect from people… but respect doesn’t make panties wet.

 

[Will_V]

Haha.. I just state my opinion and I don't impose it. Isn't it equally bad to agree to everything?

A couple of chics have mentioned to me that it's very refreshing to talk to me since I don't agree with everything. Among them, one said, "how can you be so strong and sure about what you believe in? It's just so impressive".

But I should admit that I've lost more girls than getting them being strongly opinionated. This is where it gets confusing and I just tell myself "at least you stood by what you believe in". There must be a middle ground. Like @Skills said, maybe I should just be curious. It's a balancing act of agreeing and not agreeing I guess.

I don't think it's unsexy to be polarizing, it depends on your frame and body language though. If you communicate that your disagreement makes you anxious or annoyed she will run. But if you disagree on something but keep a cheerful, warm and sexy vibe and don't make a big deal of it she will enjoy the way you deal with the world and want to be part of it.

Women don't care about facts and who's right or wrong, they care about whether you can deal with uncertainty and obstacles without stumbling over your feet or her emotions.

 

[Calibration]

Thanks both.. very objective suggestions. I'll keep them in mind for next time.

 

[POB]

In my experience, once you get your cock inside her, none of this matters.
Down the line it is you who's gonna decide if you wanna get serious or not.
Yellow flags and minor disagreements should not prevent a good shaking of the sheets.

As the guys said, pre-sex you just keep a neutral tone as much as you can!
(BTW, this includes social media, as new women will prob check you there).

 

[Rakehell]

"don't try to cut my wings"

This ones contextual.

If someones passionate enough about their goals to the point of self destruction, what you don’t wanna do is try to suggest for them to temper the goals that they have.

It really is like cutting their wings, or tossing a pot of water on their fire.

Telling an overly ambitious person to be less ambitious is a sure fire way to get cut off from ever connecting with them on an emotional level. They’ll write you off because you don’t get them.

Goes for any strongly held belief, you won’t pull them to your train of thought by forcing it on them. Imo it’s better to find some middle ground where they can act without undermining themselves directly.

 

[Calibration]

In my experience, once you get your cock inside her, none of this matters.

I guess I make it a ego battle. I've improved a lot compared to how I was a couple of years ago. Still it shows it's ugly head every now and then.

Down the line it is you who's gonna decide if you wanna get serious or not.
Yellow flags and minor disagreements should not prevent a good shaking of the sheets.

As the guys said, pre-sex you just keep a neutral tone as much as you can!
(BTW, this includes social media, as new women will prob check you there).

My social media is horrible. I never give out my social media, it basically destroys the value I might've gotten from the interaction.
I say I don't have social media and if the girl insists, I've had times when I've said, it's fine if you don't have WhatsApp, maybe we'll meet in next life, with a wink.

 

[Calibration]

This ones contextual.

If someones passionate enough about their goals to the point of self destruction, what you don’t wanna do is try to suggest for them to temper the goals that they have.

It really is like cutting their wings, or tossing a pot of water on their fire.

Telling an overly ambitious person to be less ambitious is a sure fire way to get cut off from ever connecting with them on an emotional level. They’ll write you off because you don’t get them.

Goes for any strongly held belief, you won’t pull them to your train of thought by forcing it on them. Imo it’s better to find some middle ground where they can act without undermining themselves directly.

This was actually a bit weird to me cos she was laughing all along for all my lame jokes and I didn't realize she can be shrewd in defending her ambitions. Everything changed 180 degrees in a matter of secs after she walked away.
There were a few people watching me in the park right from approaching to both of us laughing together to her walking away. I had a huge spotlight effect

 

[Rakehell]

This was actually a bit weird to me cos she was laughing all along for all my lame jokes and I didn't realize she can be shrewd in defending her ambitions. Everything changed 180 degrees in a matter of secs after she walked away.
There were a few people watching me in the park right from approaching to both of us laughing together to her walking away. I had a huge spotlight effect

Yeah thats just how they are, even girls you already know can have mood shifts like that where they like you then hate you the next second.

I try to take a second and understand who I’m talking to, so I can know what buttons i’m pushing.

In this instance you showed you don’t understand her and she probably got angry.

But even still this probably isn’t something you’ll run into often because most girls are not ambitious to that level. They might say they wanna be a doctor or a lawyer, or some other higher caliber profession, but it’s mostly to impress someone else.

“Why do you wanna be a heart surgeon?”
^its almost never answered with something well thought out, thats how you know, but if it is, then you know its foreal.

Most girls are malleable in their convictions, she might’ve even been the same. They wanna be a doctor today nail technician tomorrow. But she wasn’t invested enough to go for that so she bailed.

Also you have to do it in the right way, you have to let her know you understand where she’s coming from first instead of rejecting it with your own take. And when you give your take, make it digestable for who you’re talking to.

If she cares enough about her ambitions to get depressed about them, then that means they’re also a source of what she believes will help complete her and ultimately be a source of happiness.

So instead of trying to solve her issues, “maybe you should get more in the present, get out of that rat race and relax”, answer along the lines of.

“yeah, it’s like sometimes you want something so bad you can’t even sleep at night. I sometimes get like that, that’s why I try to appreciate times where I can relax and get my mind off of it, times where I can relax into the moment instead of worrying about the future”.

Even though its virtually the same thing in different words, it’s something that she can relate to and more easily get on board with without undermining herself directly.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Haha.. I just state my opinion and I don't impose it. Isn't it equally bad to agree to everything? ....
There must be a middle ground. Like @Skills said, maybe I should just be curious. It's a balancing act of agreeing and not agreeing I guess.

I say this with all respect - you don't know what pick up is, you don't know what game is, you don't know what the game is.

What you've written here has game on one very simplistic level.

Verbal.

• Should I say the stuff that I actually think? Or Should I edit myself.
• Because what I say is controversial, and most girls don't agree with what I say.
• Should I just agree with her?
• But I want to be true to myself?

That's rookie thinking. That's "Are we social robots" thinking.

None of your religious or political beliefs MATTER. Not in a pickup situation.
None of hers matter either.

If you stay stuck on this literal/conversational/back and forth thing - you'll never do more than just screen chicks in that like your opinions. That's some BS Mark Manson style game. And I'm starting to think this is also RSD Jeffy's game. It's a very ego-centric game, which appeals to a lot of people with controversial opinions, that like to speak their mind. Fundamentally selfish. (which is okay, it's just suboptimal for bagging broads, which I'm assuming is your goal..)

That said, you're touching a bit on some real game - when chicks don't agree with you, but like that you're so honest and find that refreshing. That should clue you in to what's really wrong with your approach.

Lemme switch gears for a second.

When the hero in the movie, manages to steal the art from the pressure sensitive room, and is on his way out - why does he always manage to drop a wrench just as he's about to get away with it? Why do the writers write that into the script? It could easily not be there. The job could run smoothly.

TENSION.

• Is he going to get away?
• Is that going to alert the guards?
• What if he needs that wrench to get out of the situation? Now he has to go back to get it!

The writer wants you, the audience member, to feel TENSION.

But more simply, writers put things into their movies, their stories, to specifically manipulate your deepest emotions.

That's why Luke loses his hand in Empire.
It's why Jamie loses his hand in Game of Thrones.
It's why dude in Shawshank goes through so much crap (figurative and literal)

Movies have plots, they have action scenes, they have big ideas - but the movie is primarily a rollercoaster of emotions. If you don't feel anything for the characters, if there's no emotional hook - then you don't really care about the story. (it's why actors are important!)

The story is not just a sequence of events, it's a sequence of purposefully planned thoughts and emotions that occur within the audience, within their minds.

It's an introduction of stimuli that causes something to stir deep in someone's brain. Something to cause them to get angry, sad, excited, happy - even though they intellectually know what they're watching is fiction, a fake, not reality.

This focus on the audience's emotional experience is what makes history different than a historical movie. And when we make history more cinematic, more narrative - we get more emotional engagement.

A bad story is one that ignores that experience of the audience. (And as audiences grow sophisticated, the script needs more and more planning to bring up those internal feelings, because people get jaded quick.)

So what you're doing with these chicks is dropping the wrench - You don't even realize there is a movie, and then you end the movie.

That's the real problem here.

You're not thinking about the game, you're just saying your stuff, and some chicks dig it, most don't.

You're telling chicks that it's okay to kill puppies...and agree with me or disagree with me.

You're aren't purposefully telling chicks that Brussel Sprouts are a superior pizza ingredient as part of a game. There's no purpose to your provocation. There's no path, no story line, nothing to take that emotional reaction and propel her down the path to your bedroom.

It's like we don't matter to you, pick up doesn't matter.

And that makes me sad...

 

[Calibration]

I say this with all respect - you don't know what pick up is, you don't know what game is, you don't know what the game is.

What you've written here has game on one very simplistic level.

Verbal.

• Should I say the stuff that I actually think? Or Should I edit myself.
• Because what I say is controversial, and most girls don't agree with what I say.
• Should I just agree with her?
• But I want to be true to myself?

That's rookie thinking. That's "Are we social robots" thinking.

None of your religious or political beliefs MATTER. Not in a pickup situation.
None of hers matter either.

If you stay stuck on this literal/conversational/back and forth thing - you'll never do more than just screen chicks in that like your opinions. That's some BS Mark Manson style game. And I'm starting to think this is also RSD Jeffy's game. It's a very ego-centric game, which appeals to a lot of people with controversial opinions, that like to speak their mind. Fundamentally selfish. (which is okay, it's just suboptimal for bagging broads, which I'm assuming is your goal..)

That said, you're touching a bit on some real game - when chicks don't agree with you, but like that you're so honest and find that refreshing. That should clue you in to what's really wrong with your approach.

Lemme switch gears for a second.

When the hero in the movie, manages to steal the art from the pressure sensitive room, and is on his way out - why does he always manage to drop a wrench just as he's about to get away with it? Why do the writers write that into the script? It could easily not be there. The job could run smoothly.

TENSION.

• Is he going to get away?
• Is that going to alert the guards?
• What if he needs that wrench to get out of the situation? Now he has to go back to get it!

The writer wants you, the audience member, to feel TENSION.

But more simply, writers put things into their movies, their stories, to specifically manipulate your deepest emotions.

That's why Luke loses his hand in Empire.
It's why Jamie loses his hand in Game of Thrones.
It's why dude in Shawshank goes through so much crap (figurative and literal)

Movies have plots, they have action scenes, they have big ideas - but the movie is primarily a rollercoaster of emotions. If you don't feel anything for the characters, if there's no emotional hook - then you don't really care about the story. (it's why actors are important!)

The story is not just a sequence of events, it's a sequence of purposefully planned thoughts and emotions that occur within the audience, within their minds.

It's an introduction of stimuli that causes something to stir deep in someone's brain. Something to cause them to get angry, sad, excited, happy - even though they intellectually know what they're watching is fiction, a fake, not reality.

This focus on the audience's emotional experience is what makes history different than a historical movie. And when we make history more cinematic, more narrative - we get more emotional engagement.

A bad story is one that ignores that experience of the audience. (And as audiences grow sophisticated, the script needs more and more planning to bring up those internal feelings, because people get jaded quick.)

So what you're doing with these chicks is dropping the wrench - You don't even realize there is a movie, and then you end the movie.

That's the real problem here.

You're not thinking about the game, you're just saying your stuff, and some chicks dig it, most don't.

You're telling chicks that it's okay to kill puppies...and agree with me or disagree with me.

You're aren't purposefully telling chicks that Brussel Sprouts are a superior pizza ingredient as part of a game. There's no purpose to your provocation. There's no path, no story line, nothing to take that emotional reaction and propel her down the path to your bedroom.

It's like we don't matter to you, pick up doesn't matter.

And that makes me sad...

Hey, although reading your first line didn't make me feel good, I must admit that I agree with whatever you said and there is a lot of wisdom in what you said. Reason I say this is, you got to the root of the issue which I think is a brilliant diagnosis of me and my game, just from a small post I posted.

I see what you mean and I agree that sad/bad emotions are far better than no emotions. I'll get to this shortly.

Believe it or not, I've had many discussions with my wing just about this topic. I know that good seducers can induce a range of emotions making the chic, ride those emotions like on a rollercoaster ride.

Sometimes it happens automatically when stars align and I just attribute it to "chance". But if I have to induce that process again consciously, it goes against my strongly held beliefs.

To put it in simple words, if I have to induce emotions, which is basically "manipulating her" perception of me/my thoughts/my feelings/ actions etc I feel a strong cognitive dissonance.

I've done this in the past but in the end I feel really bad doing that. Reason is, several years ago I stole a girl from her BF of 10 years. Then it felt really good - I felt like I was the king of badass motherfuckers. Although it all started as fun, I made her so hooked to me that she broke up with her BF and would do anything I asked her to do - I don't want to go into those details.
I also don't want to go into the details of how it all ended but even to this day, I feel terrible about myself.

After this I decided to just be honest where possible. I know it's anti-game but I've not found an anti-dote for manipulation. So, it feels bad. Although, my friend once said, "Girls are not kids. They're adults to decide what they want and don't want. If you don't fuck them, someone else will". This was sufficiently convincing that sometimes I still do things which I've told myself not to do again.

I'm ok to do things which are "token" resistance at different stages of seduction but if I sense that a chic is going to hurt later, I back-off completely.

For ex: Once a chic said she has a bf but she's very attracted to me and the most she can do is kiss me. I asked her "are you able to live in the moment and forget this tomorrow morning when you wake up?". She said "no". I said, "then let's not do anything".

However, overall I feel I need to be honest. I also know that I'm taking it too far even with single girls just cos of that chic who had a bf but somehow manipulating overall messes up my mind.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still open to advice if there's something that would change my strongly held beliefs to overcome my cognitive dissonance. In fact, that'll greatly help me progress with my life, beyond just game.

BTW, sorry I got carried away and got into a completely different discussion. I didn't get how with this particular girl, I didn't have an emotional impact? Imo, she didn't even participate and just walked away. If she had debated with me, then there'd have been a range of emotions which'd have led to investment. Like others here mentioned, I also thought I just fucked up by being very stern and she was a nut case too lol

 

[Don Giovanni]

Hey, although reading your first line didn't make me feel good, I must admit that I agree with whatever you said and there is a lot of wisdom in what you said. Reason I say this is, you got to the root of the issue which I think is a brilliant diagnosis of me and my game, just from a small post I posted.

I see what you mean and I agree that sad/bad emotions are far better than no emotions. I'll get to this shortly.

Believe it or not, I've had many discussions with my wing just about this topic. I know that good seducers can induce a range of emotions making the chic, ride those emotions like on a rollercoaster ride.

Sometimes it happens automatically when stars align and I just attribute it to "chance". But if I have to induce that process again consciously, it goes against my strongly held beliefs.

To put it in simple words, if I have to induce emotions, which is basically "manipulating her" perception of me/my thoughts/my feelings/ actions etc I feel a strong cognitive dissonance.

I've done this in the past but in the end I feel really bad doing that. Reason is, several years ago I stole a girl from her BF of 10 years. Then it felt really good - I felt like I was the king of badass motherfuckers. Although it all started as fun, I made her so hooked to me that she broke up with her BF and would do anything I asked her to do - I don't want to go into those details.
I also don't want to go into the details of how it all ended but even to this day, I feel terrible about myself.

After this I decided to just be honest where possible. I know it's anti-game but I've not found an anti-dote for manipulation. So, it feels bad. Although, my friend once said, "Girls are not kids. They're adults to decide what they want and don't want. If you don't fuck them, someone else will". This was sufficiently convincing that sometimes I still do things which I've told myself not to do again.

I'm ok to do things which are "token" resistance at different stages of seduction but if I sense that a chic is going to hurt later, I back-off completely.

For ex: Once a chic said she has a bf but she's very attracted to me and the most she can do is kiss me. I asked her "are you able to live in the moment and forget this tomorrow morning when you wake up?". She said "no". I said, "then let's not do anything".

However, overall I feel I need to be honest. I also know that I'm taking it too far even with single girls just cos of that chic who had a bf but somehow manipulating overall messes up my mind.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still open to advice if there's something that would change my strongly held beliefs to overcome my cognitive dissonance. In fact, that'll greatly help me progress with my life, beyond just game.

BTW, sorry I got carried away and got into a completely different discussion. I didn't get how with this particular girl, I didn't have an emotional impact? Imo, she didn't even participate and just walked away. If she had debated with me, then there'd have been a range of emotions which'd have led to investment. Like others here mentioned, I also thought I just fucked up by being very stern and she was a nut case too lol

You don’t need to make a girl cheat on her bf of 10 years just to make her feel things. Game is a tool box and you decide how and which tools you’re going to use.

You could make the girl of this thread feel a way instead of what happened here.

Let’s turn thing around; do you want girls you’re talking to to be strongly opinionated about feminism, veganism and climate justice? Probably not.

You could just be warmer, more emphatic and open to differences in people for a start since you’re thinking through “honesty or manipulation” type frame. You don’t need to be rude to be honest. Besides it’s rare that people actually want to hear your opinion, most of the time they just want good vibes.

Of course you don’t need to lie, I’m just saying put some etiquete on the things you believe.

Your way of thinking is same way I though as an edgy middle schooler. Do you think anyone even cares about your opinions? Are you a special snowflake as well? Thats stupidity, not honesty. In my opinion. See what I did here?

 

[Calibration]

You don’t need to make a girl cheat on her bf of 10 years just to make her feel things. Game is a tool box and you decide how and which tools you’re going to use.

You could make the girl of this thread feel a way instead of what happened here.

Let’s turn thing around; do you want girls you’re talking to to be strongly opinionated about feminism, veganism and climate justice? Probably not.

You could just be warmer, more emphatic and open to differences in people for a start since you’re thinking through “honesty or manipulation” type frame. You don’t need to be rude to be honest. Besides it’s rare that people actually want to hear your opinion, most of the time they just want good vibes.

Of course you don’t need to lie, I’m just saying put some etiquete on the things you believe.

Your way of thinking is same way I though as an edgy middle schooler. Do you think anyone even cares about your opinions? Are you a special snowflake as well? Thats stupidity, not honesty. In my opinion. See what I did here?

I think you misinterpreted my reply. I wasn't disagreeing about being empathetic with this girl.
I did say earlier that I probably got into an ego battle which I shouldn't have and balanced my opinions. My response was more related to why I fail to have an emotional impact. Infact I mentioned this too:

BTW, sorry I got carried away and got into a completely different discussion. I didn't get how with this particular girl, I didn't have an emotional impact? Imo, she didn't even participate and just walked away. If she had debated with me, then there'd have been a range of emotions which'd have led to investment. Like others here mentioned, I also thought I just fucked up by being very stern and she was a nut case too lol