- Joined
- Jul 11, 2013
- Messages
- 23
I have been working at a retail store for over a year. This young lady seemed really prickly to me at first, but eventually became nicer around the holidays, when I really started to feel fully accepted into the crew. There was some joking/drama regarding these other two guys who thought about asking her out. One tried, but he is a real dumbass and no one likes him other than for entertainment. As he approached her, she knew what was about to happen and she booked it to the other side of the store. Then, this other guy considered it, but ultimately did not because he was apprehensive. I thought about asking her as a joke to preempt him and piss him off, but didnt.
Awhile ago, she asked for my number to be able to text me about work stuff and occasionally we might text, very rarely, and usually about work stuff. I think around then, our manager who has known her for years and they are pretty close, started making mocking remarks about our friendship. It really made no sense at the time, but I took it in stride as him just being his jerky but funny self. About 2 months ago, I noticed she seemed to be trying to bump into me, but hesitating. Im not sure if I was just imagining it, but I wasnt really looking for such an action. I just noticed it spontaneously in the moment (which is a first for me, I usually notice things days/weeks/months later). Then a few days later (or maybe before) she just randomly kicked me in the foot from behind when no one else was around. I added this together and started thinking about it and wasnt really sure if it was what I thought it was. Then I was on vacation and stuff for the next two weeks, and began to get scared she was losing interest, especially since she started being moody for a few days when I was trying to be friendly. Then out of the blue she was happy again one day and when we were working separately from the people we usually work with, she would walk by and poke me. Mustve been a half dozen or times that shift, and a few times she also touched me. Later on, I said we should hang out, as an opening to help guide her into it while still being open. She didnt say no, but said she just sleeps when she isnt working (or doing stuff with/for her parents). I wasnt sure how to respond to that, so I just said something and then dropped it.
Now, I have female friends that Im close to and they can do this and I know it means nothing, but Ive never felt we were that close that she would be ok with doing any of this. Thats what really throws me off. Additionally, I cant picture her poking or touching anyone else on our crew except the manager she is good friends with. I wouldnt even picture it with me except for the fact that she does it, so it seems shes really very comfortable with me, more than I feel comfortable with her. So, I finally decided I should probably make a move. I figured since I dont really like her back other than as a friend, I am in a perfect position to do this, isolated from emotions. Unfortunately, it has been hard to find her alone and in a good mood, going for a good conversation long enough, to be able to ask her to hang out. And I started getting apprehensive, which worries me that Im developing emotion. But Ive been keeping it mostly suppressed.
A little while ago, she almost broke down in tears in front of me about something. I failed to do anything about that because I was too scared and have trust issues as I said in another thread. Even tho its illogical because she clearly is ok with physical contact, but I still have my issues. And she wasnt in a good mood, so I didnt want to ask her to hang out. Maybe a bad move, but I read here to only ask when the mood is good and happy. Finally, I decided to write a note to help gather my thoughts and also to give to her because then I could say more without worrying about people sneaking up on us in the store. I gave it to her and later she texted me to say she was just being friendly. She said she just sees me as a really good friend and didnt mean to lead me on, but that she didnt realize she was doing it, and when she becomes friends with someone, she acts friendlier. Now I would buy this if I felt that we were good friends. I consider us work friends, but not much more. I dont see where she gets the idea that we are really good friends. I could even see her as a good friend maybe, but not a REALLY good friend, not that Im against it, just that I dont feel that way right now. Weve never shared secrets or anything until talking after that note.
Obviously the only solution to this is to get her to go on a date/hang out, but my main question is whether to text her to do something tonight, or wait until I can see her at work in a few days and ask then? Texting leaves open the ability to escape or make excuses and its also a bit impersonal, while in person, its more personal and hard to escape someone socially. However, emotions might evaporate over the next few days if she thinks I dont like her back.
Also, does it sound like she likes me, but is trying to set herself up in case I dont like her back, as Chase has said girls do?
Thanks for any help !
Awhile ago, she asked for my number to be able to text me about work stuff and occasionally we might text, very rarely, and usually about work stuff. I think around then, our manager who has known her for years and they are pretty close, started making mocking remarks about our friendship. It really made no sense at the time, but I took it in stride as him just being his jerky but funny self. About 2 months ago, I noticed she seemed to be trying to bump into me, but hesitating. Im not sure if I was just imagining it, but I wasnt really looking for such an action. I just noticed it spontaneously in the moment (which is a first for me, I usually notice things days/weeks/months later). Then a few days later (or maybe before) she just randomly kicked me in the foot from behind when no one else was around. I added this together and started thinking about it and wasnt really sure if it was what I thought it was. Then I was on vacation and stuff for the next two weeks, and began to get scared she was losing interest, especially since she started being moody for a few days when I was trying to be friendly. Then out of the blue she was happy again one day and when we were working separately from the people we usually work with, she would walk by and poke me. Mustve been a half dozen or times that shift, and a few times she also touched me. Later on, I said we should hang out, as an opening to help guide her into it while still being open. She didnt say no, but said she just sleeps when she isnt working (or doing stuff with/for her parents). I wasnt sure how to respond to that, so I just said something and then dropped it.
Now, I have female friends that Im close to and they can do this and I know it means nothing, but Ive never felt we were that close that she would be ok with doing any of this. Thats what really throws me off. Additionally, I cant picture her poking or touching anyone else on our crew except the manager she is good friends with. I wouldnt even picture it with me except for the fact that she does it, so it seems shes really very comfortable with me, more than I feel comfortable with her. So, I finally decided I should probably make a move. I figured since I dont really like her back other than as a friend, I am in a perfect position to do this, isolated from emotions. Unfortunately, it has been hard to find her alone and in a good mood, going for a good conversation long enough, to be able to ask her to hang out. And I started getting apprehensive, which worries me that Im developing emotion. But Ive been keeping it mostly suppressed.
A little while ago, she almost broke down in tears in front of me about something. I failed to do anything about that because I was too scared and have trust issues as I said in another thread. Even tho its illogical because she clearly is ok with physical contact, but I still have my issues. And she wasnt in a good mood, so I didnt want to ask her to hang out. Maybe a bad move, but I read here to only ask when the mood is good and happy. Finally, I decided to write a note to help gather my thoughts and also to give to her because then I could say more without worrying about people sneaking up on us in the store. I gave it to her and later she texted me to say she was just being friendly. She said she just sees me as a really good friend and didnt mean to lead me on, but that she didnt realize she was doing it, and when she becomes friends with someone, she acts friendlier. Now I would buy this if I felt that we were good friends. I consider us work friends, but not much more. I dont see where she gets the idea that we are really good friends. I could even see her as a good friend maybe, but not a REALLY good friend, not that Im against it, just that I dont feel that way right now. Weve never shared secrets or anything until talking after that note.
Obviously the only solution to this is to get her to go on a date/hang out, but my main question is whether to text her to do something tonight, or wait until I can see her at work in a few days and ask then? Texting leaves open the ability to escape or make excuses and its also a bit impersonal, while in person, its more personal and hard to escape someone socially. However, emotions might evaporate over the next few days if she thinks I dont like her back.
Also, does it sound like she likes me, but is trying to set herself up in case I dont like her back, as Chase has said girls do?
Thanks for any help !
