Poll: Do Certain Members Need to Go?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I haven't exactly whined about race for a long time except for the Indian guys thread I have up but to be honest, that was more based on a recent GC post where Chase warned of being "darker skinned" in certain third world countries. In that case, all I wanted to do was know information for my options outside of the US as a guy who looks a certain way ethnically and it didn't apply to one demographic of women, it applied to them all.

Other than that, I have shown progress in my time here and from this point on, am even willing to provide evidence with every lay report such as text convos and pics.

Not sure what more I can do. I am better now than when I came on this board but I am just not where I want to be.

 

[Ambiance]

L

Chase,

In page 2 of the thread, The Guide To Getting Hot Girls (of Any Type) you made a post saying you were going to ban a certain member if he kept spewing his emotional vomit of negative feelings all over the boards. That was TWO years ago and this member has continued to engage in this behaviour since then. He hasn't been banned yet.

Please get more strict - with this member, and in general. A 3 strike rule comes to mind.

This right here.

There's a certain point where a guy becomes more than just a newbie who still has a lot to learn and a lot to overcome, and he becomes a liability to the forum. This has a universal effect as it scares away the guys we want on this forum (guys who are looking to improve or help others improve) and irritates the veterans when their willfully given advice gets ignored and the time they gave writing helpful posts is essentially wasted. You're a lot less likely to reach out and try to help someone when you think your advice is just going to go unheeded or even get stomped on by someone who doesn't know better, and we don't want that spirit present here.

I think guys should be given plenty of time to prove themselves. This site specializes in fixing victim mentalities and faulty mental models and bitterness. To the guys that listen and check themselves, this site and the members helping the newer guys out of their negative mindsets are a godsend. Few other places in my experience have the undiluted wisdom found here.

Of course, guys have to want to get to the root of their problems. I'm sure everyone is guilty of a little mental masturbation, but when I look at top tier men, or hell, even just cool enough guys, they all have some form of resilience and willingness to embrace their faults and not bullshit themselves or others and figure out how to get what it is they want. These are the successes: the guys who will do what it takes to overcome difficult situations through shear determination and concentrated effort, no matter how painful or uncomfortable the ordeal may be.

When a forum member has 300+ posts all dedicated to ignoring the real issues and getting little doses of esteem when he shoots down guys trying point out what he is doing, there is a problem. When I come on to the forums and the first thing I see is some dodge the real issue post designed to preserve an ego that has been reiterated in many, many other posts, that's a problem.

I am all for giving guys second chances. There have been many times in my life where I refused to learn something or listen to someone who knew better than I out of my own stubbornness, and a few years of growing more mature later I was finally ready to learn and listen. It does take time though. I think guys who are stagnant now should be given the chance to come back after awhile.

Looking forward to seeing where this poll goes. Glad this topic has been called to attention.

Ambiance

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

When I look at this situation, I can tell that Chase does not really want to do this but a lot of forum members are pushing him to ban certain members. At his very core, Chase just wants to help as many men as possible but some members might feel that certain men just cannot be helped at all and just need to go. We are caught at a crossroads between two different views.

Chase wants to give everyone as many chances as possible and does not seem to be a big fan of handing down punishment at every turn. Forum members that are frustrated don't have the same kind of mentality.

But the truth of this situation is, some guys just need to fix certain things in their life before they can chase women and helping guys who are troubled comes with that pain period.

Still living at home with parents? Fix that before you go chasing women.

Stuck in a small town where not much goes on? Move out of there and then talk about chasing women.

When guys have been through a lot of unfortunate situations growing up, it leads to that sort of toxic mindset and victim's mentality. It takes time to really get over that and it causes some guys to see this forum as a place for moral support that they cannot readily get in real life.

What needs to be done with members that are seen as problem members is that there has to be more accountability on their part. If they go thread to thread dragging their problems into it, that needs to stop.

If a thread about where the hottest girls in the world are turns into "but they won't fuck my race", that needs to be stopped.

If clear boundaries can be set with members, clear instructions given, and certain expectations placed on them (do 5 approaches this weekend), I think this is where everyone can get what they want.

If they don't deliver, they can be disciplined.

 

[Richard]

I'm just tired of threads turning out as follows:

Q: How do I make a sandwich? Is it possible?
A: Bread, lettuce, cheese, tomato, ham/meat, bread. Yes, it's possible.
Q: But what kind of bread, lettuce, cheese, tomato, and ham? Plus, what kind of skillet do I use and for how long? What kind of stove?
A: Why don't you just experiment and find out for yourself?
Q: Thanks but I don't think you're qualified to give me advice, then. You absolutely must be a 5-star chef with a specialization in... blah blah blah.

How bout a martial arts analogy?

Q: How do I roundhouse kick?
A: You plant on your left leg, lift your right knee and let your leg follow, extend your hip and kick with the straightened instep of your foot, then retract.
Q: Yeah, but in my mind I think you spin backwards.
A: Then it's not a "roundhouse kick."
Q: Eh, I don't think you're qualified to teach me, then. Perhaps I should ask for a 10th degree black belt, you obviously don't know what you're talking about as a 6th degree.

 

[Chase]

It is not that "forum members are pushing Chase", Oh Pry.

It is that this forum is a community, and if some members of that community are overly disruptive to that community, it is bad for the community.

My and Franco's role first and foremost as moderators is to make sure the community is a strong, cohesive, value-giving one where people do not feel like they are wasting their time or getting sucked into petty problems. If a large number of people start to feel like they are having their time wasted and their life energy drained, we need to find the source of that wasting and draining, and plug it.

It is unfortunate for the people who ARE the source. When someone is sucking the lifeblood out of a place, they never FEEL like they're sucking it out. They just feel like their problems are life and death and no one else ever gives their problems the attention those super important mega ultra critical problems truly deserve.

It doesn't actually matter what the problem is. "Help I'm an Indian guy and no girls want me" has been asked and answered hundreds of times over the past 3 or 4 years but the guys who ask the question ignore all the advice and keep asking it over and over again. The members here would be equally agitated if the question was "Help I want to use direct openers but girls never respond well when I use them" and guys gave that member advice and he ignored all of it and just kept asking that question 400 times over the course of 3 years. Eventually everyone will get sick of it and want that guy gone.

I do firmly, firmly believe anyone and everyone can change and improve. But when you're in a community, you cannot give people unfettered rein to rain on the party for everyone else to pursue a tone-deaf campaign of "my problems are so much worse than everyone else's and no one ever acknowledges them or addresses them (despite the thousands of posts on here on my problems)!"

Sometimes guys have just got to go, even if you would like to help them.

Chase

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I think that, and as my journal will show, I have made progress in my life and my time at GC. I've gone from awkward approach anxiety to getting number closes and feel confident that I will continue to progress. This thread is really about me and tbh, though I've whined a few, at times I feel like members (eg: Ambiance) have ganged up on me and attacked me even when I was legitimately trying to improve my life.

If Chase truly feels that I need to go and if that is the verdict, please let me know now so I can put an end to my journal and maybe look for something else out there that can help me complete the journey.

I do think that for some members of this community, no matter what I do, they will dislike me because they're just hateful people who don't really want to see this forum improve as much as they want me gone when they themselves have little to show for their successes.

I've been a brat at times with Richard, Chase, and others but at times, it isn't my fault, it is just truly nasty people capitalizing on the chance to attack someone down on their luck. I would argue those people are a far bigger cancer to this forum than I am but if the resolution is to have me gone, I rather hear the verdict from Chase as well as Franco in advance so I can move on.

 

[Richard]

I do think that for some members of this community, no matter what I do, they will dislike me because they're just hateful people who don't really want to see this forum improve as much as they want me gone when they themselves have little to show for their successes.

I've been a brat at times with Richard, Chase, and others but at times, it isn't my fault, it is just truly nasty people capitalizing on the chance to attack someone down on their luck. I would argue those people are a far bigger cancer to this forum than I am but if the resolution is to have me gone, I rather hear the verdict from Chase as well as Franco in advance so I can move on.

There's literally nobody on this forum who doesn't want to see another guy improve because, every single one of us, has been a guy who, at one point, struggled with women; we all know that pain, how pathetically we felt about ourselves, etc. so if any of us can help another guy to avoid that then we will.

Plus, it's very hard for any of us to want to help somebody who has this idea that "it's not my fault and I'm just down on my luck" because those are highly immature frames and show that you don't want to take responsibility for yourself and that's my issue with you, Altair. Don't sit behind a computer screen and say "It's not my fault" or "I'm just down on my luck."

Also, I'd encourage you to take a look at your first 5-10 posts on the forums and let me know if anybody "attacked you," you should see that the "attacking" only started as you kept posting the same stuff over and over incessantly.

I want to see you succeed with women and I want to see you have the self-confidence to explore any option you want to with your social life but I don't see you getting there the way you're going right now. If you can change your attitude and accept full responsibility for what you want then I'd have no problem with you posting on the forums and asking for feedback, etc.

-Richard

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I kinda already did man, I kinda already did......

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=16591

Some members here (actually only one on this thread), do seem to have an axe to grind rather than wanting to see someone get ahead and finally break free. If I get banned then so be it, I honestly couldn't blame Chase given my history but it would have been a hell of an experience to finally cross that finish line of losing the V card and celebrating it with members on here.

I have to admit, my critics are right. I've recently started reading Models by Mark Manson and Mark talks about how certain ancestry groups and culture tend to produce a lot of narcissistic men and I am a narcissist.

I feel like life wronged me by putting me in bad situations growing up and if I had the same situation as some rich frat boy did, I would have slept with 100 different women by the age of 25.

It's like I know I am great but sometimes feel like social norms are stopping hot girls from getting with me.

If popularity contests did not exist in college for example, I would be balls deep in some hot co-eds and not see some ugly guy get more action than me because he happened to be in a fraternity.

It is that sort of shit that at times has me scrambling for answers like with my social life thread as well as going into the game so pissed off.

I thought about it for a while and that is the conclusion of my life I came to.

I am just so fucking angry that I go into the game angry and with a big fucking ego.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I want to ask

Are people "Toxic" or are they bringing a particular topic, and those little nuances that we haven't addressed?

If it is the latter, please elaborate your problem from all angles.

Zac

 

[Richard]

I kinda already did man, I kinda already did......

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=16591

Some members here (actually only one on this thread), do seem to have an axe to grind rather than wanting to see someone get ahead and finally break free. If I get banned then so be it, I honestly couldn't blame Chase given my history but it would have been a hell of an experience to finally cross that finish line of losing the V card and celebrating it with members on here.

I have to admit, my critics are right. I've recently started reading Models by Mark Manson and Mark talks about how certain ancestry groups and culture tend to produce a lot of narcissistic men and I am a narcissist.

I feel like life wronged me by putting me in bad situations growing up and if I had the same situation as some rich frat boy did, I would have slept with 100 different women by the age of 25.

It's like I know I am great but sometimes feel like social norms are stopping hot girls from getting with me.

If popularity contests did not exist in college for example, I would be balls deep in some hot co-eds and not see some ugly guy get more action than me because he happened to be in a fraternity.

It is that sort of shit that at times has me scrambling for answers like with my social life thread as well as going into the game so pissed off.

I thought about it for a while and that is the conclusion of my life I came to.

I am just so fucking angry that I go into the game angry and with a big fucking ego.

This is what I mean; not taking responsibility whatsoever.

"Social norms stop me"
"Popularity in college stops me"
"I've been wronged because I wasn't born a rich frat guy."
"It's not my fault I'm narcissistic and ego-driven, it's my cultures fault."

Literally everything you just said is blaming YOUR problems on something or someone else which absolves you of any personal responsibility either a) because you don't think you can overcome them or b) you actually don't think you're responsible for any of this.

Nothing against you, personally, but people who approach life in that manner (as a victim, devoid of responsibility, etc.) are people I don't want to interact with at all, my pre-dominant family is like that and it's why I've distanced myself so far from them and, guess what, socially intelligent people do the same thing; do you think someone who gets laid consistently, parties, etc. wants to be around a guy who can do nothing except say "Life sucks but it's not my fault?"

Think about it; your approach to life and the way you live is enough to push away the Tribal Elders (who have shown themselves to be socially aware and intelligent) and others to the point where a legitimate ban might be coming; it's a reflection of who you are in your real life, if you're doing it to us over a keyboard and screen then you're doing it to the same people you interact with in your actual life.

That's not a put-down; that's me explaining to you how your attitude/approach/etc. makes me feel because that's the only relationship I can look at and give credible feedback. As I've already said, every single one of us (myself, Chase, Tool, Franco (to a lesser degree), Grand Pooba, Hector, etc.) have all been in your shoes; all of us have shared our stories and with the exception of Franco and Light (both of whom were socially intelligent most of their lives) every single one of us went from being in your shoes where we made excuses, felt shitty about ourselves, to stepping up and assuming responsibility and then making legitimate changes in our lives - it's not like you're a special case and your circumstances are so "different" that you can't overcome them and that's why your posts outlining the same sob story over and over effect the forum members so much.

-Richard

EDIT: One more caveat, the excuses you've made are just that; being a psych major there are a couple things I know for sure; disorders, disabilities, etc. do not "CAUSE" anything; there is no disorder or mental illness that CAUSES you to kill somebody just like their is no disorder, mental illness, mentality, mindset, etc. that CAUSES you to not be able to approach and get laid. The excuses you've made are not CAUSES, they absolutely do not CAUSE you to not get laid.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

You're right and even I think that a ban might actually be well deserved for me.

I actually do feel like this carries over on to my approaches too because I don't have that giddy up high energy at bars, it just isn't there. Even when I enter some bars that sort of negativity that you pointed out takes over.

I've gone out and tried my luck recently but I can almost feel it, something is not right on the inside. I feel like there is a lot of hatred, anger, frustration, and pessimism in me that is caused by a series of bad events in the past which leads to me adopting this victim's mentality. At times I have written it out to see what makes it the worst and I find that what is keeping me in a hole right now mentally is at times I don't even know if there is a good future to even make up for what I missed out on.

It is like throughout my entire life, no matter where I look, it is believed that the kind of life I want (hot girls, lots of acquaintances, and parties) is a ship that sailed in college.

Right now, I am in an extremely dark place in my life that is so tough to break out of and I see no light at the end of the tunnel, no life for me to really envision because I wonder if the chance to experience all of that already passed. I know that getting hot girls, having a lot of friends, and that sort of thing in my life will make me happy but I wonder at times if that can even be done.

I actually believe that given where I am in life right now, this forum would be better off without me.

I've taken up way too much time of valuable members who on many occasions did their best to help me. If Chase and the forum feels that a ban would be best, I would actually agree with them because right now I just don't have any value to add.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Even when I enter some bars that sort of negativity that you pointed out takes over.

I've gone out and tried my luck recently but I can almost feel it, something is not right on the inside. I feel like there is a lot of hatred, anger, frustration, and pessimism in me that is caused by a series of bad events in the past which leads to me adopting this victim's mentality. At times I have written it out to see what makes it the worst and I find that what is keeping me in a hole right now mentally is at times I don't even know if there is a good future to even make up for what I missed out on.

This is what we've been trying to tell you, buddy. The answer you seek is WITHIN you, not outside you, not in college, frats, sororities, being the coolest kid, etc. If anything, what you're missing in your life is spirituality and understanding/learning how to deal with your own emotions.

I actually believe that given where I am in life right now, this forum would be better off without me.

The ultimate victim. Psychologically, you WANT to be banned. It's going to validate your own negativity.

your approach to life and the way you live is enough to push away the Tribal Elders (who have shown themselves to be socially aware and intelligent) and others to the point where a legitimate ban might be coming; it's a reflection of who you are in your real life, if you're doing it to us over a keyboard and screen then you're doing it to the same people you interact with in your actual life.

+1.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

True but I do desire the life I desire and deep down inside I know it is what I want which is why I think as a whole, it would be best not just for me but more so for this entire forum if I spent less time on here other than maybe updating my journal every now and then. The banning decision I'll leave up to Chase and the forum itself, no bad blood on my part eitherways, Chase and others have done more than enough to help me. There are just some deep seated issues, likely rooted in narcissism, that I need to get worked out before I feel like I can be of a great benefit to this community.

I've started reading Models by Mark Manson recently and that's been an eye opener for me, really need to start being more direct with my approaches now.

It would be for the best for everyone if I just posted less on here and got my life fixed first.

 

[Cacc]

Don't talk about it. Just be about it homie.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Altair,

Secret to Life:

Although it looks like everyone at Girlschase is together, truth is, we are not. What i mean by this? If you are in a group of friends, sometimes people might laugh and it seems like everyone is against you.

So, Zac, How do i know they are laughing at me and when does it become toxic?

Here is where most men who will not admit.

They either
1)keep quiet
2)become similar alike cock blockers (which means they talk louder and try to kick the other men out)
3)Side with those who seem more powerful

The first 3 are idiots, often. Not all the time but often.

4)talk it down or body language cut off toxic and ugly notions or they will laugh but they will not keep shitty notions away from you. (this are cool fun people who are nice people)

So Altair, and for other men in Girlschase, this is a powerful lesson. Of course, if you look at this the same analogy that i have just given, would this is me trying come out and be on top of everyone as something of an opportunity to value up?

Right?

Zac

 

[fog]

boys go take a peak in the "off topic" subforum. chase and franco listened to us and now they are laying down some heat on a perpetrator

 

[Chase]

Okay, four users banned. Details here:

4 Users Banned; No More Race Victim Mentality

I'm going to end this poll because we've already wrapped up what it was about. And I think everyone's more or less voted by now anyway.

Final score: 18 for banning, 11 maybes, 0 nos.

Chase