Potential Gym Opener

[TheEcho]

Hey all!

Still re-tightening fundamentals (got a bit sloppy in my relationship), but need to change my approach, because 0% date conversion is absurd lol. Need to start owning my "older" (28) self and cut some of the silliness out. My thought is though over 95% of my gym approaches have been very well received to start, they don't go anywhere, so instead of trying to lengthen them to build more comfort, I chop them the fuck down to the smallest possible approach. Focus on the initial flattered, curious, warm fuzzies from a handsome guy complimenting them and try to minimize the effects of brutalizing myself in the gym before and after the approach:

Me: Hey, I wanted to tell you... I think you're ____ (cute, pretty, that color looks great on you, bla bla bla)
Her: Thank you! *beaming smile* (universal response so far, besides the 5% grumps)
Me: I'm ___... what's your name?
Her: ___ *hand clasp*
Me: Nice meeting you ___. *let go of hand clasp* I'd be curious to learn more about you, preferably without being all tired and watched by everyone else*knowing smile*. How about we grab coffee sometime?
Her: Yeah, that would be nice!
Me: Cool, let me grab your number *here*
Her: *Number giving*
Me: Any idea what your schedule is like?
Her: Yeah/nah, bla bla bla.
Me: Great. (text: Hey ___, it's ___ ) *Slowly clasp her shoulder* Don't kill yourself too much now *impish grin* *walks away*

(alternate) Her: No, I'm good.
Me: No worries, I'll be over *there* if you change your mind. Don't kill yourself too much now *impish grin* *walks away*

Thoughts? It's cutting out all rapport building, as that doesn't seem to be translating at all. If her age is questionable, I'll ask if she's in college after the introduction, before the ask out.

Potential next text:

If she didn't give me any timeline:
Me: *~2 hours later* Are you free during the week or during the weekend? (bit of assumed sale going on)

If she did give me some free times:
Me: *~2 hours later* How about we go to this cool boba place near the gym ___ or ___ (times)?

Thanks all!

 

[ulrich]

Gym is sort of a social circlish kind of place to game.

In my experience, cold approach doesn’t work nearly as well as in parks/malls because the girl has some kind of reputation and will try to slow game you to a certain degree.

My suggestions are:
1) Don’t try to land the phone that fast without building some serious comfort first. She is concerned she will likely see you again and what will people think.
2) Play part of the social game by befriending the personal coaches and the staff so you get some social proof.
3) Find better venues —— unless you get some status by being a coach and having the body to prove it, I think gyms are not particularly great places to flirt. Not terrible, not great.

 

[TheEcho]

Yeah, it's a funky environment, where you're almost trapped there before and after the approach. The comfort building just seems to be useless, though. I've had some great interactions beginning to end, but nothing comes from them. I am in great shape and like to think my dress is some of the best there. I've only had 1 receptive girl be hesitant to give me her number, which I spun into my favor by leaving the ball in her court, so they're already signaling to everyone they're giving me it, but then hardly respond to text.

I also almost never see girls again at this gym, regardless of me approaching them. I've befriended all the staff and even got one of the girl's numbers today. I notice the extra exposure just let's my tiredness lead to too much silliness on my part, hard to stay ironclad when I tease and such.

Going off initial impressions, it seemed great for meeting girls, but going off getting them to show up AT ALL, yeah gym is feeling kind of garbage.

 

[Zoro]

Is the gym the number one place you see women you’re into?

That could be the real issue here. Your efforts could be better spent in venues where it’s easier to practice.

The gym can be a fun place to meet a woman, if you already know what you’re doing. There are things you need to manage and a pace to things that are particular to the gym that you don’t need to worry about elsewhere.

Work on gym game, after you have another system down well.

 

[POB]

Gym pulls are not easy.
Basically you need to:
01 social banther (get to know each other)
02 social banther, soft close (seed a possible date)
03 secret society vibes (to show you care about her reputation)
04 close the date (outside the gym)

Personally I was never able to get numbers inside the gym.
I just offered to go with her to the parking lot and got the number there.
Then everything was done by text, so there's no danger to her reputation.

 

[TheEcho]

Is the gym the number one place you see women you’re into?

Yeah... It's my only outlet currently. Interesting you guys are focused on the reputation side as a reason she wouldn't give you the number. That part hasn't been hard. Maybe I'm decent at making a bubble? But that bubble seems to not be sexy enough for them to do anything after giving their number...

I honestly would welcome some resistance and show lack of neediness with leaving things in their court, rather than getting a stack of useless numbers.

 

[ulrich]

If this was any other place, getting numbers and having girls not responding to your texts is usually a sign that you’re going too fast.

Maybe this is the case too. It just feels different.

Again, gym works more like a social circle even if you don’t see the girl there ever again.

 

[TheEcho]

If this was any other place, getting numbers and having girls not responding to your texts is usually a sign that you’re going too fast.

Maybe this is the case too. It just feels different.

This approach idea is coming from how if I remember correctly, my cold approaches used to be very short. I was actually rather good at blitzing that part and getting in deep on the date. Had 100 numbers I deleted years ago and I had kissed over 30 of them and slept with a dozen, nearly all from very short interactions. That while living at home, not having a degree, not having a real job, or any dating experience.

To add, the gym worker I got the number from yesterday, I've talked to a good amount (20-30 minutes over 3-4 interactions) and she had even told me when she'd be working out, the day before. She spent a good minute or two putting in her full name and number. And guess what? No response....... it's kind of insane really

 

[ulrich]

Not really that insane when you remember that a stranger in the street might be exciting and easier to boot if he becomes a reputation hazard (nobody saw her with you, nobody needs to know).

A stranger in the gym might end up being a creep that hurts her reputation in a public setting.

Also, the staff girl… dude, you flirted with her at work

 

[TheEcho]

She was off the clock and alone (and not in the uniform, she was almost unrecognizable). I've picked up a few working chicks in my day lol, including both my exes. She also seemed flirty previously and had volunteered the time she'd be there. Guess I should have explicitly mentioned not wanting to put her on the spot by being too forward while she was working.

Updated the OP to try including a hint of discretion, and a ping during the conversation to potentially have some times I can aim for and take the planning by the reigns. Trying to figure out wording...

 

[Beck Bass]

My thought is: try just being friends with those girls first.

Like offer them something you can do together on the gym or outside... Maybe screen for other activities they do outside the gym, like running, and offer to do that together. Grab their IG and slow game them there, but try to get them out as soon as you can. Once you two are together elsewhere, it's smooth sailing. If she offers something for you to do together in the gym, just keep on being friendly and sexy, and eventually she might give you a window to meet her outside the gym.

I think you're trying to move a bit too fast @TheEcho, like you just got this number from this random girl you've just met and then you expect a date right away... She probably want to feel things out a bit more first, hence I think the IG stuff being nicer for girls (these days, I rarely get girls' phone numbers).

I myself never even approached a girl on the gym, but if I came back now, that's what I would do.

Also, the staff girl… dude, you flirted with her at work

There was a staff girl on my gym that deff flirted with me a lot... In fact, she initiated it, but she was like a 4/7 for me, so I thought naah.
Some other staff girls would seem a little bit open, but I think I needed to game them better... But it seemed possible.

In fact my buff good looking wing, back when we would hit the gym together, added one of the "teachers" there on IG, and then went on a date with her, which ended in sex... Too bad it was on his parents' car and she peed on him lmao, poor girl, he also told me her face wasn't that cute (it was during the corona shtuff, so everyone used masks on the gym)

 

[TheEcho]

I think you're trying to move a bit too fast TheEcho, like you just got this number from this random girl you've just met and then you expect a date right away... She probably want to feel things out a bit more first, hence I think the IG stuff being nicer for girls (these days, I rarely get girls' phone numbers).

I mean, that's how I fully operated in the past, but that was street approaches and SoCal, not gyms in a Texas suburb (that isn't Austin).

Ugh, teased the gym worker a bit too much about her age (18) and she came back saying the gap is too much for her -.-

 

[Beck Bass]

Ugh, teased the gym worker a bit too much about her age and she came back saying the gap is too much for her -.-

It happens, teasing is a double edged sword, hopefully you can recover some atainability being extra nice and cool with her next time...

 

[TheEcho]

It happens, teasing is a double edged sword, hopefully you can recover some atainability being extra nice and cool with her next time...

YOLO'ed it and reacted "haha" to her message and sent a meme about an old dude "I'm in my prime" . Followed up with "Woah, don't need to jump to the altar just yet haha", "I was just thinking hanging out, maybe with boba or tacos", "If you don't like it, you can kick my senile self to the curb lol. How does that sound?"

Feel like I'm trying to dance Argentinian tango with a basic salsa skillset lol


LOL, got a response but apparently from the coworker she's always paired with saying he's down to hangout but she isn't and gave me his number. To be fair, I talk to him plenty as well. She's 18 and he's like 17 wtf is this lol

Went with it, it was his ex lol (good chance she's too young so don't get any thoughts lol).

Riding this train to hell: sent a picture of a little deer thing staring blankly at the camera and said "Young lady, back in my day, you'd get spanked for that", "But you'd probably enjoy it (monkey no see)"

 

[tenere]

Making sure I get it. You're texting the gym chick and get a return txt from a guy from her phone that wants to hang out?
I'm new to this forum, and a bit concerned I don't fit in.

 

[DarkKnight]

Here we go again.

This hugely depends on the gym. Gyms where people know each other less well with lots of corners -> easier
Gyms where a lot of people know eachother -> harder
More staff involvement with customers -> harder

But when there is not a lot of social control it becomes much easier, probably also depends on your fundamentals as I am very well build this is more easy pickings for me

But gym is not some kind of mystical place where getting girls is super hard. With girls who are regulars and attention whoring it is much harder, I can tell you that. But there are usually quite pretty girls who are in normal clothing and get zero attention since they do not draw in that much attention.

You need to go for the right ones and also in the right venues. One venue where I was (and still outgamed everyone) the staff was all male and basically competed with you for females. Yeah that is shitty ofcourse, but other gyms staff barely mingle, most guys are cowards anyway and I can game with impunity

I guess to say it is a bit like searching the right venue. Like not every bar brings a lof of good women and opportunities not every gym has right population/environment. Aftercovid some of my very best venues were totally destroyed with new population of old people or simply not hot enough women and it took some time for places to get back their own mojo and me screen for right places.

Right now I got some killer places again

Anyway about openers dont overthink it. I do ridicilous shit like interrupting a girl (who I already sense likes me) that I do not know how to do a certain exercise she is doing despite being jacked so

 

[TheEcho]

Thanks man! Yeah, the push for it to be treated totally like social circle wasn't fitting the feel of the gym I'm at. I get there's that added layer of seeing each other again, but it's pretty loose.

So do you stay indirect? There's not enough girls at the time I go to be filtering for IOI's. Basically if I find her attractive and she ends up in a more secluded area, I talk to her. So I'm doing things on "hard" mode. It is pretty nuts to me that there's been 0 conversion, though.

Playing with how long to hold the hand clasp, want to communicate discretion, so hanging on for as long as I can seems opposite of that, but would hate to lose comfort that could've been built if I hung on for longer.

 

[Beck Bass]

One venue where I was (and still outgamed everyone) the staff was all male and basically competed with you for females. Yeah that is shitty ofcourse, but other gyms staff barely mingle, most guys are cowards anyway and I can game with impunity

Yeah, that's one of the things I noticed, teachers there of course will have great bodies and they have all the social excuse they need to go talk to those girls... Maybe sometimes it's good to be at least friendly with them so they don't fuck up your game lol

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah, that's one of the things I noticed, teachers there of course will have great bodies and they have all the social excuse they need to go talk to those girls... Maybe sometimes it's good to be at least friendly with them so they don't fuck up your game lol

Do NOT unnecessarily break circle for them. They are just staff doing their job and you are a patron who is frequenting the place. Just react politely and short. They can have social excuse but also feel a lot of pressure from the environment so they can not go overboard. I would rather when it is about women not be too friendly with these dudes unless they are solid. But if they are the type who would fuck up your game, keep a cool distance so they do not feel familiar enough to sabotage you. I mean what the hell do they know? For all they know you are talking to your fiance and they are interrupting. The less they know, is better for you

Anyway a lot of this is calibration, and not every gym is the same. Also the teachers who have "great bodies" still suck with women for some reason. I had a lot of female staff chasing me (in multiple gym) , so I am not that impressed by their competition .

 

[TheEcho]

So how are you approaching things? Sounds like you should be writing an article on this lol. The existing article is clear for newbies, but common sense for serious lifters who are at least fledgling pickup artists.