Sometimes some things or happenings seem small and not of any effect, but it happens that in the long-run these small details become factors in a power dynamic that is going through a relationship, at a particular moment in time.
I, myself, have always been a noble, sincere, honest and principled man in essence. I have always been a man of word and able to go out of my way to keep my promises. I was a pure child thinking the world is all flowers and bright, so i thought people should be like this too, i expected others to be honest and sincere, like me. I would always say the truth, being direct about what i thought, even if it didn't sound good to the other person. Being sincere, was one of my principles and i could not break it, because i deeply believed that even white lies should not be told. But, later i came to think that anything that is excessive, also tends to get harmful. To metaphorize it, I called it "My syndrome of sincerity".
People with this syndrome, are an easy prey for manipulators, whether be it people or the life itself. Many of nice guys and white knights carry this inside themselves. Maybe all people are born like this, with this innocence, but we continue with this even at a later age. To understand it better, imagine a guy with this syndrome and a lion - he would go talk to the lion expecting that he will be nice and polite with him, but we know the reality is that at the first chance the lion would eat him, and if he survives the attack, he would go wondering why did it happen....why the world isn't all rainbows and sunshines like he thought?
I used to wonder about this for a long time. In my reality at that time, I believed people could lie, but never to the extent where they would try to convince you that the sun is blue. It was a shock to my internal world, to find out these things exist. I was sincere, i expected the other side to be the same. Okay, time passed by, I understood where it comes from, i accepted the fact and moved on with this thing.
But on the other hand, I could never imagine people do things, small or big or seemingly nonsense, just for the sake of establishing power. For example, I would never do things such as delaying a message in an instant chat, just to make the other person think i'm busy when i wasn't, for the sake of establishing more power or value to my side; I would not never flake in a meeting, just to make the other person seem less important than me; I would never be the one to rush to be the one saying good-bye first just for the sake of appearing less needy or the one breaking the conversation; I would never test and challenge people just to gain some power over them; I would never do things just to see how they would react; I would not switch different personas simply for getting what i want; I would not treat a person differently than before, before he was weak, just because now i would have the chance of gaining some power;
I would never ask for not needed compliance just for the sake of establishing authority.; simply i was never trying to outpower somebody in a single relationship or group. I'm talking about the relationships with both genders, at some points especially with guys.
Nowdays, it has been a time since i got into seduction stuff and frankly I have learned a lot of things that I never thought would be running underneath - for instance, the power dynamics. Maybe most of people get it intuitively but i didn't. I learned about humans, their psychology and mind - how it works, evolutionary explanation of things and so on, thus, i came to understand them instead of judging. I rarely keep long resentment when somebody tries or manipulates me or tries outpowering me using emotional knowledge or taking advantage of different dynamics, consciously or unconsciously. I am not judging these actions. This is how the world works and i am okay with it.
But, when i get outpowered or manipulated, now i am able to know it but i can't counter it because of that syndrome, of that man i am in essence. I still tend to hold to my innocent way of viewing things. When i try to play a power game, like doing something just for the sake of it, i don't know why but i feel bad. I think it sucks of not being free to be transparent because people can manipulate with what they see through it. I feel guilty when i do a power game.
But, honestly, i grew tired of it. I'm tired of being the noble man. It seems to be that when you are not playing with the same card, just because you wanna be nice, you put yourself in unfair position.
So here comes, my question, should i start playing the power games just for the sake of it?
I hope i was clear. As always, feel free to ask anything unclear to you.
-Ezio.
I, myself, have always been a noble, sincere, honest and principled man in essence. I have always been a man of word and able to go out of my way to keep my promises. I was a pure child thinking the world is all flowers and bright, so i thought people should be like this too, i expected others to be honest and sincere, like me. I would always say the truth, being direct about what i thought, even if it didn't sound good to the other person. Being sincere, was one of my principles and i could not break it, because i deeply believed that even white lies should not be told. But, later i came to think that anything that is excessive, also tends to get harmful. To metaphorize it, I called it "My syndrome of sincerity".
People with this syndrome, are an easy prey for manipulators, whether be it people or the life itself. Many of nice guys and white knights carry this inside themselves. Maybe all people are born like this, with this innocence, but we continue with this even at a later age. To understand it better, imagine a guy with this syndrome and a lion - he would go talk to the lion expecting that he will be nice and polite with him, but we know the reality is that at the first chance the lion would eat him, and if he survives the attack, he would go wondering why did it happen....why the world isn't all rainbows and sunshines like he thought?
I used to wonder about this for a long time. In my reality at that time, I believed people could lie, but never to the extent where they would try to convince you that the sun is blue. It was a shock to my internal world, to find out these things exist. I was sincere, i expected the other side to be the same. Okay, time passed by, I understood where it comes from, i accepted the fact and moved on with this thing.
But on the other hand, I could never imagine people do things, small or big or seemingly nonsense, just for the sake of establishing power. For example, I would never do things such as delaying a message in an instant chat, just to make the other person think i'm busy when i wasn't, for the sake of establishing more power or value to my side; I would not never flake in a meeting, just to make the other person seem less important than me; I would never be the one to rush to be the one saying good-bye first just for the sake of appearing less needy or the one breaking the conversation; I would never test and challenge people just to gain some power over them; I would never do things just to see how they would react; I would not switch different personas simply for getting what i want; I would not treat a person differently than before, before he was weak, just because now i would have the chance of gaining some power;
I would never ask for not needed compliance just for the sake of establishing authority.; simply i was never trying to outpower somebody in a single relationship or group. I'm talking about the relationships with both genders, at some points especially with guys.
Nowdays, it has been a time since i got into seduction stuff and frankly I have learned a lot of things that I never thought would be running underneath - for instance, the power dynamics. Maybe most of people get it intuitively but i didn't. I learned about humans, their psychology and mind - how it works, evolutionary explanation of things and so on, thus, i came to understand them instead of judging. I rarely keep long resentment when somebody tries or manipulates me or tries outpowering me using emotional knowledge or taking advantage of different dynamics, consciously or unconsciously. I am not judging these actions. This is how the world works and i am okay with it.
But, when i get outpowered or manipulated, now i am able to know it but i can't counter it because of that syndrome, of that man i am in essence. I still tend to hold to my innocent way of viewing things. When i try to play a power game, like doing something just for the sake of it, i don't know why but i feel bad. I think it sucks of not being free to be transparent because people can manipulate with what they see through it. I feel guilty when i do a power game.
But, honestly, i grew tired of it. I'm tired of being the noble man. It seems to be that when you are not playing with the same card, just because you wanna be nice, you put yourself in unfair position.
So here comes, my question, should i start playing the power games just for the sake of it?
I hope i was clear. As always, feel free to ask anything unclear to you.
-Ezio.
Do all the things you describe. Sometimes, overdo them, for the sake of gaining calibration. And then, apply the techniques judiciously. With girls who are genuine and show you their vulnerable side, and will have sex whenever you want, and follow your lead 100%, and do not place any demands on you, then, obviously you don't need to worry too much about the power balance. Focus on attainability instead of value (show your vulnerable side as well at times, etc).