Pre newbie challenge

[132]

Okay so I have crippling approach anxiety but I've decided to do the Newbie Challenge and just suck it up.

The only problem is that now I'm doing an angel investment and starting another software company with a a promising group of programmers. So the the next 5 weeks I'll be swamped with layers, accountants, bank, about starting the company, and doing all the initial paperwork.

All this combined with running my current companies and websites and stuff, and try to do the newbie challenge would be way to much stressful.



it usually takes 4-5 weeks to completely register a company (in my country) and get the ball rolling, so I figured It'd be best to do the challenge starting mid April (starting around the 15-16th of April)



But I've decided in those 4-5 week to work on my body language and fundamentals. The way I walk, my facial expression, smiling, eye contact, walking slow(which I naturally do cause I like being calm and not in a hurry), and being more cheerful(I've noticed that I'm really serious all the time and a little playfulness would be nice), at least with fashion I'm good.



Also in those 4-5 weeks I'll keep an eye out for all the places where I can go to meet girls once I start.


In the mean time If you have any suggestions and tips before Is start in 4-5 weeks, I'd love to hear them.
Also I'll try to post here my thoughts on whats going through my head during that time.
Cause I've found that it's better when you pour your thoughts on paper or in this case on the forum.


I'll be talking about what places I've noticed/found during that time, Or if I've accidentally talked to a girl or said hi, etc.

When I start doing the challenge I'll be posting really detailed posts every day and doing the challenge every day (in order not to lose momentum). I'll find the time for 2 weeks even if I have to push some work stuff for a few weeks.

 

[Franco]

Sounds good, Ico. Looking forward to seeing your reports. =)

- Franco

 

[132]

I want to talk about sth that I've noticed the last weeks.

I kinda got approached by girls a few times. I bought some new clothes like new darker jeans that are more fitted or slim (not skinny as I have lots of muscle in my legs) and T-shirts with no logos on them that are also fitted and a new fitted leather jacket.

That's the style I like for everyday sort of like the one on the left but the jacket is a bit lighter brown:

And also I changed my glasses ( I have astigmatism which basically means I wear them all the time during the day) and I tried 100 different frames and the once that look the best on my face are like those:

Not sure if they're popular in america or they are called hipster glasses. But I can honestly say I look better with them than without them.
Plus here there are not worn by many people. I've honestly never seen someone else with that type of frames. But I'm getting looks from people all day. Basically it's like a huge peacocking benefit. Cause every person that passes me by feels the need to look at me. Plus I've getting lots of compliments and not a single negative comment.

Who would've thought a pair of glasses makes so much difference.




About the few approaches:

- the first was when I was out going to the supermarket dressed like I said in the first picture. And in front of me a girl(around my age - 21, definitely cute and I'd go out with her) was walking her dog. The kind that Raj has in The Big Bang Theory. I walk past her and the dog comes near my leg and I stop to pet it. The girl smiling says - "she's really annoying today" and I said what's her name(the dog)? the girl said it's Abby but she's really annoying today, and petted the puppy a bit more and the girl laughed and Abby licked my hand and again the girl said she's soo annoying with a smile. I was about to introduce my self and tell her she's cute but I saw I guy a few feet from her checking sth on his phone and I assumed it's her boyfriend so I said "she's really cute... bye". After that I though and I think that guy was just walking and stopped to text and was not with her at all cause when I was walking behind her she was walking alone. But at the moment I saw a guy near her I assumed it was her boyfriend so..

- the second was when I was waiting at the cashier in the supermarket and a girl in the near cashier was making eye contact with me a few times and waved slightly and mouthed "hi" (the word was actually "zdrasti" which translates to hi, cause english in not the spoken language here and I'm translating). But I thought about when in the movies a girl looks a you and waves and you react and it turns out she was waving and talking to a person directly behind you and you look like an idiot. So I walked away. She had really dark straight hair and was younger probably 18-19 and cute.

- I was near my apartment, coming home after a work out. I see a girl that is really really blonde, like scandinavian blonde, tall and with glasses. She actually look me in the eyes and said hi (again the word is "zdrasti") just as I was passing her and I stopped and turned around with a slight smile on my face, and I said " do we know each other?" with a smile. She said I think so yes, and I'm thinking I recently moved here and I don't go to university, and we don't know each other. So the only reason is she likes so much she approached me - just give her a compliment and ask for her phone number!! and the words tat came out of my mouth were "I don't think we know each other.. bye"


- It was at the gym, there were lost of people cause I went a bit late that day. And there was a girl that I caught checking me out. And asked me if we can switch at the flies machine. She also asked me If she was doing the exercise right and if I'd give her some pointers. She was medium height and really cute and dark blond. I thought that she might like me and I should go for it. But my mind screwed me over. At the gym around us (it's a really small gym and not those huge ones) there were a couple of huge guys that were bodybuilders and training for some competition. The personal trainer who was being macho. And a guy so good looking that i was checking him out at one time.. and I'm not gay. So I thought right now and here there are guys with more muscle, more aplha/macho, better looking so why the hell would she like me??

- the last was again at the gym but with the new cashier girl. I've seen her 3 times the past week. I've noticed she's serious with other people and smiling and cheerful with me. I also drink whey protein after a workout and since I was waiting for mine to arrive, I ordered whey at the gym bar. And this girl has made me only 2 protein shakes but monday, she's smoking outside and another girl is at the cashier. But when she saw me she left the cigarette and came in and told the other girl, I've got it.. we know each others habits. Then the next day when going in she told me the aerobics room(basically separate room from the gym that is used for aerobics, and I use it for yoga to wind down after a work out) is being washed and is slippery so be careful with doing yoga. I thought "how the hell does she know I do yoga??" sure there are security cameras but the monitor is not at the cashier but in a separate room..(I know cause I've talked to the trainer and asked about it). Also the other girl was busting her balls in front of me while she was making the protein shake, by saying she was and old lady. And the girl started defending her self that she's not old and is only 24.
And the last thing was the last time I was really tired and when leaving, every time we say goodbye but this time I was tired and said nothing. Then she kinda got mad and repeated in a more serious and kinda mad tone "Goodbye" and looked at me kinda pissed. I thought wow all that just for not saying goodbye to her??




That's the past week or so and the only change I've made is my clothes as I said, darker jeans, leather jacket and new glasses. Plus putting a bit more cheerful look on my face.



Now thinking about it I realize that all those girls were interested in me and in a very obvious way. But in the moment my mind was trying to make every possible excuse for me not to do anything and just leave.

I realize that all those things that stopped me from doing anything are just empty and pathetic excuses, that are not acceptable.



Actually the thing that made me want to do the newbie challenge is the regret. I'm beating my self up for missing those chances, really hard. I don't think that rejection can be worse that this horrible regret.

 

[132]

Oh and one other big thing I did the past week - I dropped my ipod.

I decided to keep it at home cause I'd take it everywhere and put the headphones in my ears all the time and listen to music, every second I was outside. While walking, at the gym, at the supermarket, etc.