Fighting AA & low momentum, visualization, street openers, gym pickup
Hey It’s been a week as this thread wasn’t approved by mods until a few days ago.
Fighting low momentum / AA
Currently super low-momentum and battling AA. Got sick a few weeks ago, pretty much didn’t leave the house for a couple weeks. As close to depressed as I get. Feeling better this past week trying to get back into a rhythm.
I work from home and just the thought of leaving the house, seeing beautiful girls, and not having the balls to open them has made me resistant to even leaving. This is bad. This is pathetic. My social momentum is so low I was even kinda anxious to small talk with an old lady at the gym today.
I read
@AspiringStoic 's
post on defeating AA. I’m working on just leaving the house at this point. Baby steps.
So I forced myself to head downtown yesterday just for a change of scenery and to get out of the house, not forcing myself to make any approaches. And I didn’t make any approaches.
Street openers
I could’ve opened two girls yesterday. One walked past my car right as I was parking it, should’ve ran up to her “Hey I was just parking my car and saw you walking by and just have to say you’re the most fashionable girl I’ve seen all week. I’m Prime.” Another girl was walking past me wearing a crop top, probably should’ve tried the “Are you single” opener.
Today I went on a quick walk and saw a cute girl in yoga pants walking across crosswalk towards me. I was on my headphones listening to an audiobook so not at all in the right headspace to open.
I don’t really know what to say to girls who aren’t wearing anything particularly remarkable. In my head the options are:
- Something like "you have an understated elegance" (saw that in a thread somewhere on here)
- Chase’s patented “most killer walk I’ve seen all day”
- "are you single" (I’ve only tried this one, she said she wasn't and I'm pretty sure that was. true. But she was warm and we proceeded to make a little smalltalk which was nice)
- I’ve also been meaning to try “Hey… quick question… what do you think would be a good thing to say… to strike up a conversation in [the gym, on the sidewalk, at the grocery store]… with somebody you’re curious to meet?” from Ricardus’s article. Has anyone tried this?
Two habits I need to get into: Always be dressed well and stop wearing my damn headphones while walking around! Engage with the world! Always be prepared to seize opportunities that present themselves!
Visualization + overthinking
A silver lining to seeing opportunities to approach, even if I don’t take them, is I can go back and think about the right move.
Honestly, I think the exact opposite of the 3 second rule works for me. I clearly overthink things so being able to pause time would be a lifesaver. Think of a good opener, work up the courage to approach, think about how much regret I’ll feel if I don’t approach. Most of my opens have been like this: at least a minute of hyping myself up and figuring out my opener. But then again, the only date I’ve gotten from cold-approach was an impulsive street stop with a super generic direct opener “You’re gorgeous and I had to meet you.”
Anyway, I read
Chase’s article on visualization a few months ago and started doing some meditation (following my breath) and visualization (mostly of missed approach opportunities, visualizing what I should’ve done and how the approach would’ve proceeded) immediately upon waking. I haven’t meditated in years and have never done visualization and it feels incredible. Now I just need to move those interactions out of my mind and into the real world.
Gym
Another thing that’s been on my mind: gym approaches. The gym is by far my most consistent place to see gorgeous women. Hell, I bet the gym could sate my whole seduction diet if I figured out how to smoothly approach a girl or two each time I’m there.
I don’t workout the same time every day and I switch between several different gym locations, so the gym is less of a social circle environment for me. I’ve only done two gym approaches that hooked: one that set up right next to where I was already working out (indirect open straight into conversation), and one that was checking me out (direct open). A few awkward opens/slow opens that didn’t hook.
Two issues I'm facing at the gym:
- I’m rarely “naturally” next to a hot girl. Sometimes they’ll be doing their hip thrusts or cable glute extension things but most often they’re on the treadmills or stair steppers. So I see my two options as
- derail my workout and hop on to the treadmill or whatever right next to her and try to talk to her (after a few minutes of pretending I’m there to actually use it) and hop off once the conversation ends (since I don’t actually want to be there)
- try to keep tabs on her with my peripheral vision and intercept her before she leaves, which will mostly fail because cardio and strength equipment are mostly separated
- They’re all wearing airpods! While “gym social circle” is less of a problem for me, it’s still a thing so I want to use direct openers infrequently. And I don’t see much of an opportunity to indirectly/innocuously/slowly open if that involves making a girl take off her headphones.
I read the gym approaches article which afair is mostly about “gym is social circle, ping girls” and “get the conversation off the gym ASAP,” the latter is a great piece of advice and has worked for me.
Wait... as I was writing this
I checked it out again and he does recommend a direct approach in some cases:
“Excuse me... I saw you working out over here, and I haven't seen you in the gym before, and I just HAD to come tell you that you have the prettiest hair I've seen all day today. I'm Pete.”
Maybe I just need to grow some balls and walk over and go direct.
Anyway, if anyone reading has any gym pick up strategies I’m all ears.
What's next
Going to continue easing back into it, getting out of the house more and paying attention to opportunities with no expectation (i.e. anxiety) to open so I stop stressing myself out when I should just be a normal human in the world. Maybe that's what I'll need to open a girl again.
Will probably write about online game, texting, and FBs/sex in upcoming posts to my journal. And idk maybe I should be posting some of this on other boards and not in journal. Need to familiarize myself with the different boards more.
Until next time.
Prime
