Problems of going out alone

[ChalupaBatman]

I made a revelation last night as I struggled in two different bars to approach any girls. I was out alone, my friend had decided to stay in, and I just couldn't make it happen. This was polar opposite to the nights I usually go out with my friend, I seem to have no fear of approaching girls. I realized that when my friend is with me, I am ok with approaching two girls because I know he will occupy the other girl no problem. However when I am out alone, I'm terrified of approaching because I have no one with me who can occupy the other girl. This is a pretty big deal since most girls do not ever go out alone, and are usually always with at least one friend. Does anyone else have this problem? Is this just all in my head?

 

[Doctor]

I also have this problem, it's definitely not in your head. I find I tend to get 'social momentum' when out with friends which makes it so much easier to bounce from interaction to interaction. Want to go talk to that girl? No biggie, I was just talking to my mates, it's no different.

When I am out alone I find it a big hurdle to 'get the ball rolling' so to speak. I know there are some articles on going out alone but they haven't helped with this problem.

Also I love to dance and a person by themselves on the dance floor in this country (UK) is seen as weird.

Help us out if you can!

 

[xilb51x]

maybe try making new friends at the venue you are at and it will be no different than being with your bro's. who knows maybe you will find a new bro to go out with.

 

[Nuncle]

Try and win the friend over, maybe get them competing for you (subtly on your side!)

Also, if she is with friends this can be an excuse to move her:

"My friends are wondering what's going on!"
"Let's grab a spot over there then where they won't be staring at us"

 

[BarryS1]

However when I am out alone, I'm terrified of approaching because I have no one with me who can occupy the other girl. This is a pretty big deal since most girls do not ever go out alone, and are usually always with at least one friend. Does anyone else have this problem? Is this just all in my head?

I started to pick up something, let me know if you've seen it as well. When I am the first to approach a girl in a group/friend, other guys (not in my group) from the club/lounge follow suit. This can help a lot because if the friends do not like the other approaching guys, they will make the girl move (giving you a chance to go with her). A bunch of girls standing around at a lounge is like blood in the water, the sharks will come!

I also have this problem, it's definitely not in your head. I find I tend to get 'social momentum' when out with friends which makes it so much easier to bounce from interaction to interaction. Want to go talk to that girl? No biggie, I was just talking to my mates, it's no different.

I go out alone during nightgame and getting social momentum helps a lot. A ritual for me is approaching women at a department store around 9 or 10pm to warm up before hitting the town! Honestly, I meet more attractive women on a Friday night in Target than the bars in my area. Big toss up - girls in yoga pants in Target or dresses in a bar hmmmmm....

I choose convenient places in my neighborhood like department stores, but as long as the location has a consistent supply of women, its good!

 

[Estate]

The problem with going out alone is that guys LOOK lke they are alone and on some mission. And it's weird.
Whereas other guys in the venue just blend in chatting to friends.

I know because I've done a lot with going out alone and I was VERY nervous to start.

But it's already been mentioned here. The point is to be smiling and make it seem like you know people. Always chat. Make smalltalk with everyone, especially guys!
"Hey man, that drinks looks awesome, what is it... NICE!" and walk away again if you like, who cares. The point is that someone who LOOKS alone comes off creepy or weird. If they are just looking at or approaching women, it comes off creepy. Most guys don't really realise how weird they look. I've seen other guys alone in bars and they always look miserable. I don't think they really know it themselves but they do.

Heck, I did it too I was so nervous at being there alone. But then I just began to start throwing a comment here or a comment there to people around me, situational humour is good, or comment on the game on the screen or anything really. But move about a little every so often. Randomly engage people, you can move off again, it'll even make it seem like you just know people and are hovering about.

I NEVER approach when I go out alone. I meet women, oh yes... but I never approach.
Approach implies sitting/standing there eyeing her up until I make the big approach across the room, she's already seen me... alone.. looking creepy. I don't do this.
What I do is just randomly engage them, the girl will be next to/near me, I'll make sure of it. Maybe we bump into each other, maybe I have to ask her something dumb, I don't know, but she just happened to be a girl near me when I just had to strke up conversation with her, just like I was everyone else around me... and guess what? It's easy.