- Joined
- Jul 5, 2013
- Messages
- 182
Met this girl outside a bar some months ago and then I moved away. She texts me a few months later and I'm still not around but say I'll hit her up when I get back. I hit her up when I get back in town and we try and set up logistics. She is chasing hard over text already -- seems I made a good first impression -- but last minute when we are going to meet up she invites me to hang with her group of friends instead. I decline but am in the neighborhood later so go in and say hi to her. I talk for a few minutes then say I have to go and leave. She is sad and horny that I disappeared that way, but I didn't want to be seen as an available bf so I didn't want to make a good impression or a bad one with her friends yet. Didn't want her throwing on the brakes. This made her chase even harder.
She lives in another town up in the mountains and is traveling around the world every other week, so setting up a meet is hard. However, yesterday I was going to the mountains to practice archery and I figured we could meet up. She invites me to stay with her, but then she backs out, and texting is going back and forth but ends with her firmly chasing and us deciding to meet at a bar near her place with a good excuse already set up for the extraction (she wants me to drive her home). She's even asking me if I'm coming alone. I have to remind myself that even though this feels like it's in the bag I should still run my game like usual.
I do my thing all day and then we meet up. She arrives after me and joins me at a table in the bar. She's clearly not wearing a bra and has amazing tits. She's kind of a hippy chick but a clean one. Shortish hair, big eyes, half Spanish half Greek-Chinese-English. Adorable and very bubbly.
I learn that she's big on astrology, travels the world for free all the time (grandpa was a pilot), is big on Hinduism and spiritual self-improvement type stuff, is polyamorous, and that she thinks people can be lovers even if they aren't sexual (don't know how I feel about that -- might be a strategy to friendzone people or might just be an imprecise way to say that she has close bonds with many people. Probably both.).
She's buying me drinks and is super playful. We start getting closer and closer and more and more touchy-feely. She says she is not sure yet if she wants me to stay at her place (she knows it means sex -- which she's clearly craving) and I put no pressure on her there. I have no expectations, though of course I want to fuck her brains out too.
We steadily escalate physically and verbally, getting to the point where she's sitting on the porch on my lap and admitting attraction to me. She wants me bad and is trying to goad me into kissing her, so I say "Let's get out of here." Recognizing that this is the time to pull if there ever was one.
And then she immediately shuts down, "You can go, I'll catch a ride with someone else." I'm like, uh... are you sure... as this girl has been very open with her attraction, is polyamorous, and definitely knows the score. I didn't think she would put up this sort of defense this late in the game -- and so suddenly and with such certainty. She knows she probably won't see me again either. I was pretty thrown and tried to persist by approaching it at another angle, but it didn't work; she seemed already locked in to her decision. Fuck.
We go inside and she says "Don't leave!" (sensing that that's what I was about to do) then she leaves leaving her stuff behind to show that she was coming back. After about 15 minutes and me almost leaving anyway she comes back. She made a phone call. She chats up the bar people and plays a dirty song from the 20s and sings along, and I say "Hey, I'm leaving." and after a short conversation I leave. I'm not interested in that kind of game, is what I was thinking at the time.
I leave and go home.
I think the main burr that I failed to overcome was that yes, she wanted to be with me, but her Hindu yogi lover guy (one of her "partners") talked her out of it over text/the phone. I didn't recognize that at the time -- and how can you fight an enemy you can't see! I realize that at one point when she was demonstrating relationships to me by tying knots in a straw that she was saying that she is much closer to this guy, but that she is still into me. It's kind of flattering to be judged not just as a lover (how we use it on GC) but as a partner in the broadest sense, and be even in the same ballpark as someone she's had a lot of experiences with and known for much longer. She just met me! Crazy girl!
There's also a possibility that she didn't want to leave with me in part because she knew everyone in the bar, so they all would probably know we were sleeping together, and even an open minded girl like that wants to protect her reputation. Though I don't think that was a big issue.
When we were texting earlier, as a funny side note, she called her house a sacred place, so I was dying to use this line all night: "So, will you let me come inside your sacred place?" I didn't get a chance to uses it though. I bet this at the time of escalation this might have actually worked better, cuz it's fucking hilarious, direct, and conveys that I'm not taking this too seriously.
My wits were a bit slow at the end there cuz of drink, otherwise I would have probably realized that I had more room to
persist. Try and try again later. I really just didn't want to see her go home with someone else (not that she was going to sleep with them, just me being left behind in a bar out in the middle of nowhere was not an image I wanted to make a reality. Better if I leave on my own terms).
I want to take responsibility for this failure completely, but I'm not sure if that would really be fair to myself. I ran a pretty solid game and attraction was definitely there, it's just when it came time to pull I didn't push hard enough because I didn't know where to push nor how to deal with her spiritual yogi partner texting her what (or who) to do. I didn't even realize that that is what was happening until this morning.
I would like to have something with her still, but I know it's time to move on. At the very least it's her move and she's going to have to come to me.
The sad thing is that I actually was open to being with this girl as more than just a fun night; she's the first girl I met in a while I even considered having something more with, and I think she's atypically into me too.
When I was leaving she said: "Will you be around for a while?"
Me: "No."
Her: "Where are you thinking you'll go?"
Me: Somewhere in Asia -- at least that's my plan."
Her: "Well, if you want, you can call me wherever you are in the world and I'll come find you."
Me: "Thanks. Later!"
[Exit stage right]
So that's that. I texted her this morning with "Morning Mae. Really good meeting you last night
Kind of confused me at the end there to be honest, but I think I understand what happened now." so she knows I don't think she sucks or anything and that I still did enjoy our meeting. It also hopefully will fix my knee-jerk closing down at the end there. It was a bitter sweet ending, but it was a good experience for sharpening my seduction toolkit overall. This memory will serve as a reminder for me to not only persist, but to persist persistently.
She lives in another town up in the mountains and is traveling around the world every other week, so setting up a meet is hard. However, yesterday I was going to the mountains to practice archery and I figured we could meet up. She invites me to stay with her, but then she backs out, and texting is going back and forth but ends with her firmly chasing and us deciding to meet at a bar near her place with a good excuse already set up for the extraction (she wants me to drive her home). She's even asking me if I'm coming alone. I have to remind myself that even though this feels like it's in the bag I should still run my game like usual.
I do my thing all day and then we meet up. She arrives after me and joins me at a table in the bar. She's clearly not wearing a bra and has amazing tits. She's kind of a hippy chick but a clean one. Shortish hair, big eyes, half Spanish half Greek-Chinese-English. Adorable and very bubbly.
I learn that she's big on astrology, travels the world for free all the time (grandpa was a pilot), is big on Hinduism and spiritual self-improvement type stuff, is polyamorous, and that she thinks people can be lovers even if they aren't sexual (don't know how I feel about that -- might be a strategy to friendzone people or might just be an imprecise way to say that she has close bonds with many people. Probably both.).
She's buying me drinks and is super playful. We start getting closer and closer and more and more touchy-feely. She says she is not sure yet if she wants me to stay at her place (she knows it means sex -- which she's clearly craving) and I put no pressure on her there. I have no expectations, though of course I want to fuck her brains out too.
We steadily escalate physically and verbally, getting to the point where she's sitting on the porch on my lap and admitting attraction to me. She wants me bad and is trying to goad me into kissing her, so I say "Let's get out of here." Recognizing that this is the time to pull if there ever was one.
And then she immediately shuts down, "You can go, I'll catch a ride with someone else." I'm like, uh... are you sure... as this girl has been very open with her attraction, is polyamorous, and definitely knows the score. I didn't think she would put up this sort of defense this late in the game -- and so suddenly and with such certainty. She knows she probably won't see me again either. I was pretty thrown and tried to persist by approaching it at another angle, but it didn't work; she seemed already locked in to her decision. Fuck.
We go inside and she says "Don't leave!" (sensing that that's what I was about to do) then she leaves leaving her stuff behind to show that she was coming back. After about 15 minutes and me almost leaving anyway she comes back. She made a phone call. She chats up the bar people and plays a dirty song from the 20s and sings along, and I say "Hey, I'm leaving." and after a short conversation I leave. I'm not interested in that kind of game, is what I was thinking at the time.
I leave and go home.
I think the main burr that I failed to overcome was that yes, she wanted to be with me, but her Hindu yogi lover guy (one of her "partners") talked her out of it over text/the phone. I didn't recognize that at the time -- and how can you fight an enemy you can't see! I realize that at one point when she was demonstrating relationships to me by tying knots in a straw that she was saying that she is much closer to this guy, but that she is still into me. It's kind of flattering to be judged not just as a lover (how we use it on GC) but as a partner in the broadest sense, and be even in the same ballpark as someone she's had a lot of experiences with and known for much longer. She just met me! Crazy girl!
There's also a possibility that she didn't want to leave with me in part because she knew everyone in the bar, so they all would probably know we were sleeping together, and even an open minded girl like that wants to protect her reputation. Though I don't think that was a big issue.
When we were texting earlier, as a funny side note, she called her house a sacred place, so I was dying to use this line all night: "So, will you let me come inside your sacred place?" I didn't get a chance to uses it though. I bet this at the time of escalation this might have actually worked better, cuz it's fucking hilarious, direct, and conveys that I'm not taking this too seriously.
My wits were a bit slow at the end there cuz of drink, otherwise I would have probably realized that I had more room to
persist. Try and try again later. I really just didn't want to see her go home with someone else (not that she was going to sleep with them, just me being left behind in a bar out in the middle of nowhere was not an image I wanted to make a reality. Better if I leave on my own terms).
I want to take responsibility for this failure completely, but I'm not sure if that would really be fair to myself. I ran a pretty solid game and attraction was definitely there, it's just when it came time to pull I didn't push hard enough because I didn't know where to push nor how to deal with her spiritual yogi partner texting her what (or who) to do. I didn't even realize that that is what was happening until this morning.
I would like to have something with her still, but I know it's time to move on. At the very least it's her move and she's going to have to come to me.
The sad thing is that I actually was open to being with this girl as more than just a fun night; she's the first girl I met in a while I even considered having something more with, and I think she's atypically into me too.
When I was leaving she said: "Will you be around for a while?"
Me: "No."
Her: "Where are you thinking you'll go?"
Me: Somewhere in Asia -- at least that's my plan."
Her: "Well, if you want, you can call me wherever you are in the world and I'll come find you."
Me: "Thanks. Later!"
[Exit stage right]
So that's that. I texted her this morning with "Morning Mae. Really good meeting you last night
Kind of confused me at the end there to be honest, but I think I understand what happened now." so she knows I don't think she sucks or anything and that I still did enjoy our meeting. It also hopefully will fix my knee-jerk closing down at the end there. It was a bitter sweet ending, but it was a good experience for sharpening my seduction toolkit overall. This memory will serve as a reminder for me to not only persist, but to persist persistently.