tl;dr: I think I over-complimented a girl during a first date, and want to know if pulling back on the second date will be push/pull.
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Does push/pull have to be in succession over the course of one interaction, or can I do a sort of damage control where I was too complimentary the first date, but the next just invite her over to my place and give zero compliments to make her wonder what happened so she begins to chase/seek validation?
I'm 41 and 8 months out from my divorce. Had a date with a 29 year old I met on Tinder yesterday, who excitedly texted me seconds after I said I was going to check out such and such spot and let me know if she wants to come along.
It was daytime, and she had plans to go somewhere with her family in the afternoon. We went to several different venues within the span of a few hours, and the conversation flowed. I would do kino and pull back, but it wasn't time to kiss her till the end judging by her signals. When I did kiss her, she wasn't resistant, but seemed kind of luke warm despite putting her hand on my knee and kind of tracing patterns.
Even though I did tease, I'm now kicking myself because I did compliment her a few times and am wondering if I gave my value away. After I kissed her, I looked at her and told her she's beautiful before kissing her some more, and at another pause in the kissing, I said "I just like kissing you" and kissed her again. I also told her I was enjoying myself when she showed me a place she likes to go which I hadn't been to before.
She did say at the end to let her know if I want to hang out again, and then we ran into each other at a coffee shop after parting ways when she stopped in to get a cup on her way home, and she asked if she could sit with me.
In my own mind, I reframed it that a guy that has 10 girls chasing him might still fill in a morning slot just to have fun, and if he has abundance and doesn't care might very well say something like "I'm enjoying myself" if he is, or "i like kissing you" if he does, and then not give it another thought or care once he moves on to other things later that day and weekend.
********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Does push/pull have to be in succession over the course of one interaction, or can I do a sort of damage control where I was too complimentary the first date, but the next just invite her over to my place and give zero compliments to make her wonder what happened so she begins to chase/seek validation?
I'm 41 and 8 months out from my divorce. Had a date with a 29 year old I met on Tinder yesterday, who excitedly texted me seconds after I said I was going to check out such and such spot and let me know if she wants to come along.
It was daytime, and she had plans to go somewhere with her family in the afternoon. We went to several different venues within the span of a few hours, and the conversation flowed. I would do kino and pull back, but it wasn't time to kiss her till the end judging by her signals. When I did kiss her, she wasn't resistant, but seemed kind of luke warm despite putting her hand on my knee and kind of tracing patterns.
Even though I did tease, I'm now kicking myself because I did compliment her a few times and am wondering if I gave my value away. After I kissed her, I looked at her and told her she's beautiful before kissing her some more, and at another pause in the kissing, I said "I just like kissing you" and kissed her again. I also told her I was enjoying myself when she showed me a place she likes to go which I hadn't been to before.
She did say at the end to let her know if I want to hang out again, and then we ran into each other at a coffee shop after parting ways when she stopped in to get a cup on her way home, and she asked if she could sit with me.
In my own mind, I reframed it that a guy that has 10 girls chasing him might still fill in a morning slot just to have fun, and if he has abundance and doesn't care might very well say something like "I'm enjoying myself" if he is, or "i like kissing you" if he does, and then not give it another thought or care once he moves on to other things later that day and weekend.