Question on qualifying a girl

[TheWiseFool]

On the topic of operant conditioning (rewarding and punishing), if a girl qualifies herself are we supposed to reward her even if we aren't impressed by her answer? Because failing to reward does not increase the magnitude or frequency of the behavior, but rewarding does so for answers that seem mediocre.

Since the answer was mediocre, I probbed for a better reason why, hoping to get something deeper and more meaningful before rewarding her, which I think is better because delayed rewards are usually better than immediate ones, assuming one has matched the reward to the specific task.

 

[NarrowJ]

On the topic of operant conditioning (rewarding and punishing), if a girl qualifies herself are we supposed to reward her even if we aren't impressed by her answer? Because failing to reward does not increase the magnitude or frequency of the behavior, but rewarding does so for answers that seem mediocre.

Well, if the girl is telling you something about herself and she thinks it's impressive, even though you personally don't find it to be all that impressive, then yeah I'd reward her for that by telling her it's cool that she does X or Y and it says [insert positive thing] about a person.

As I get older, I find that not much really impresses me anymore. I have girls excitedly tell me how they've done modeling or played a sport in college or have this really super-duper-awesome career, and it's not really a big deal to me because I've already met tons of people who've done the same (or bigger) things.

It doesn't really matter what you think; it's all about her. You're rewarding the girl for trying to impress you, not so much as whether or not she actually does.


Hope that helps, dude
NJ

 

[TheWiseFool]

Definitely helped out a lot NJ.

As I get older, I find that not much really impresses me anymore. I have girls excitedly tell me how they've done modeling or played a sport in college or have this really super-duper-awesome career, and it's not really a big deal to me because I've already met tons of people who've done the same (or bigger) things.

You're rewarding the girl for trying to impress you, not so much as whether or not she actually does.

I agree and I'm only 21... I tend to find myself around people who are older than me more so than I am with kids my age simply because I really could care less about that party last weekend, the last episode of some TV drama, the latest viral video or social media network. The thought sounded sort of depressing so I had to sit down a bit and figure out the correct frame of mind that would make talking to other people more interesting, rather than some chore where I sit and entertain someone's thoughts and opinions.

In addition to what you said here:

It doesn't really matter what you think; it's all about her.

I was also thinking about how although something may have happened already by someone else somewhere else, the fact that a specific instance happened to this specific person is amazing and unique because there will never be another copy of that moment in space or time, ever. In my opinion, that is pretty awesome haha.

But my little thoughts aside, I understand that I should reward her, even if I am not impressed.

Thanks again,