Questions regarding pulling from bars/clubs

[tvktvk]

Hey guys, I got some questions regarding things I'm still struggling with during pulling:

1. Kissing in bars/clubs
I know that Chase's mantra is to not kiss a girl before taking her home since it releases sexual tension. And while I know and have seen that it's true, I've also seen guys pulling off kissing girls and then minutes later leaving the bar together with the girl looking all excited. It felt like a stamp of confirmation. The girl would be like; Yes, this man will provide me with sex, let me take care of all social barriers to be with him My question is therefore: Is there any guideline for when to or when to not kiss in bars/clubs?

2. How long do you feel obliged to spend time with a girl before going for the ask?
I know that this one has a lot of variables that factor in. Let's assume that the girl is not giving any major signs of attraction that would suggest that she wants to leave with you RIGHT NOW. You are the man and you have to lead. If you meet her with less than 30 min till closing time, I feel that the logical thing to do is to go through your process and then go for the ask when the place shuts down. On the the other side of the scale, if you meet a girl during a predrink or early that night, the best thing to do I feel is to stack compliance and get her moving with you. But I'm still unsure off when to go for the ask if the bar/club is not shutting down. I've lost countless of girls that I met early a given night because of how quickly attraction fades... Is there any guideline on when one should go for the pull?

3. The actual ask. I had a discussion with a girl at a predrink about this last week. She told me that she was frustrated with how often guys would invite her to afterparties, just to find out that they only meant sex (I guess plausible deniability is popular in my city). She then told me that she would often just leave if she wasn't really into the guy. The last two weeks I've asked quite a few girls to come back to my place for afterparties, but so far I've failed due to various reasons. It also kinda feels like I'm lying and half-assing it. At least if I tell her do come back to my place and she says complies, I have a better chance of actually sleeping with her... thoughts?

Always appreciate your knowledge guys.
tvktvk

 

[Adam101]

1. Not kissing girls in a club is a rule that, unless I'm mistaken, is reserved for the dance floor. Dancing is a sexual test run and she's getting to feel how your body moves just without penetration. In a way she's getting all the goods and kissing her not only releases the sexual tension built up from dancing but also leaves no mystery left. Maybe the way to consider it is in her mind dancing + kiss = a full sexual experience. So she's had you. No reason to go further when there are so many other men about that she can test. This is different from a pull from the bar to a more private area where you can start to make out. Because the body isn't doing nearly as much the kiss acts as more of an invitation to get her to wonder what else you can do. This is why even when you dance with girls you don't, and quite frankly they, don't want to do so for long which is why after just a song or two you move them off the dance floor. Then you can use that sexual tension in your favor. Anyway, bottom line is don't kiss on the dance floor as a rule of thumb.

2. I would ask before the place shuts down. When bars and clubs close that's the universal signal that the night is over. If i were to break it down when closing time is called and the lights come on all the ADD stimuli of the nightlife shuts down and as a result a woman's prime directive becomes "I gotta get home!" If you ask say 10 min. before close then the experience will feel continuous and natural VS the gear shift that would occur otherwise. "I just finished partying for 4 hours! I'm not gonna start again!" It's like running a 5K and when you get to the finish you find out it's the starting line and you gotta run it again. You're exhausted and the last damn thing you wanna do is repeat. As far as when to ask during an interaction it depends on how much she's investing in you. As seducers and beginners we do a lot of guess work, but there really shouldn't be. I would say this though; if the girl's attention has been on you for say 20 - 30 min. and she's not being distracted by other things then go for the pull. 20 - 30 min. could be considered a large window by some, but I'm accounting for going through your process to make sure her interest is sustained and not fleeting.

3. The idea of an after party doesn't offer much value to a woman unless she's certain you're gonna give her a mind blowing orgasm or is already having an obviously amazing time. An after party = sex but a girl is probably thinking of it as an invitation to service you. That's not very enticing. Try this; do you have any 24 hour diners or coffee shops in your area? If so try inviting a girl to go there instead of straight back to your place. It's still a public place, there's no alcohol, and a coffee shop / diner has a "get to know me" vibe which is what girls want. Compare this to an after party which is going to a private, foreign place with a new guy where her control is minimal and the idea that you're gonna try to get her to drink even more so she'll sleep with you. This tactic has personally worked out very well for me since it's a much less threatening proposal that I believe plays into what women want and also doesn't put "Let's fuck!" front and center. Give it a shot.

 

[tvktvk]

Adam,

Great reply, thank you so much

 

[Man-O]

1. To kiss or not?
Chase runs his seduction on low energy and having high energy girls get down to his lvl and vice versa from what I've read (main point is not to change energy lvl to theirs be it high or low). There it's a different way of building tension and you don't wanna make out early or even in the bars. I've tested it a couple of times and they become rly horny longing for the kiss when you kino them while talking slow with sexy eye contact, which you will do when being low energy.

However if you're in high energy state and she is too you can easily go for the kiss when you've extracted/isolated her with the two of you (usually from the dance floor) and go for the kiss without it spoiling. The best part about it is you spike her urge for sex with the kiss and moving her fast so for a high energy type of game you can further extract her to your camp.

2.
Can't rly ask them as I still don't own a flat but as anything else you ask for do it on high note and preferably calibrated so you don't suddenly say "wanna go to after party?" in a good conversation but lead up to it. I'd recommend screening them before you even think about pulling because you might end up having spent hours on a girl that actually wasn't up for a pull whole night but only a number and that's not efficient in the standpoint of pu, though if one rly has fun with her then keep talking.

3.
Do not take women's advice for granted. From that sample you got there it sounds like she was trying to validate herself.
You have to sugar coat you wanna get them home where the reason of logic in the sentence being "after party" can give them the excuse of not feeling slutty and less anxious. Some times you don't even have to say anything to them and just have them follow you and suddenly you're standing in front of your flat.