- Joined
- Apr 2, 2017
- Messages
- 198
Ciao, brothers!
TLDR: Met a quiet shy girl from cold-approach, had a pretty decent date, had a bit difficult time gauging her arousal-interest level, failed to bring her back to my place.
MY STYLE
My style doesn't usually differ much between doing normal daily errands and when going out. The good thins is that guys around here aren't super good when it comes to style. Even more so in winter - a lot of people, esp. men opt for the dull trifecta of black, grey brown. Just wearing something slightly different yet stylish in bright colors is already good!
I have this red super puffy bright red bomber winter jacket with a hood. Got it second hand. It's a bit 80's but works wonderfully for me.
I'm wearing skinnier stretch bright blue washed jeans and Ecco chelseas (a bit expensive but will last AGES!). It's a bit of an unconventional mix. Normally you'd probably think about combat boots or something similar to combine with a bomber. I like how this all comes together so I'm satisfied.
THE APPROACH
The approach was as basic as it can get. Saw her standing in front of a grocery store, checking something on her phone. Opened from her side, a few meters away with a smile and and upbeat smile "Ciao!"!
"What's up? Saw you standing here and got a gut feeling she's cute!"
Fluff with her for a minute or two, suggested meeting up some time later and excused myself to get something from the groceries. Can't recall exactly what I said but something along the lines, ok, cool got to go and get those carrots now - something specifically mundane.
Dec 3rd
Rakkum: Ciao, QG! Cool to have met you, save the number! - Rakkum
QG: Heyo, okay, will do so
SETTING UP THE DATE
Dec 7th
Rakkum: Salut! What's cooking? How about doing something impromptu today!
QG: Hey-hey, I'm unfortuntately already busy with something today
Rakkum: Okey, cool But you know, I completely forgot an important detail! How crazy are you!? Like, say, zero to ten
QG: Haha, it completely depends whom you ask but I myself think is's 6-7QG: And you?
Dec 8th
Rakkum: Grandma's opinion is what matters
Rakkum: As to mo, well, under six would be stale, more than nine would be dangerous!
Dec 13th (evening)
Rakkum: Ciao! What's up?
[an hour later]
QG: Heyo, nothing much is happening haha
GQ: And you?
Rakkum: Choosing cookies at the supermarket!
GQ: Take Oreos!
Rakkum [voice message]: I was thinking of getting some impromptu drinks but it's starting to get a bit late, everything will be closed soon. Let's see about it next week.
GQ: Uhm yes good idea but I'm not an extempore kind of a person Yees, let's see about next week.
Dec 16th
Rakkum: Ciaao! A glass of wine on Friday, around seven o'clock! Bien? Sat afternoon would work too if Friday is a no go for you!
GQ: Heyo, I'm working at that time on Friday but maybe I could make it on Sat evening and actually I would prefer a cup of coffee haha
Dec 17th
Rakkum: Coffee!? OMG! Okay okay, fine Sat around seven o'clock. Talk about it later
Dec 18th (Saturday)
QG: Well, you can drink wine Idk
Dec 19th
Rakkum. Oh I can!?
Rakkum: Alright, seven o'clock, good?
QG: Let's do so
Rakkum: At X place then at seven. Grab a table if you get there before me!GQ: Ok
THE DATE
She was there more or less on time. Is it me or are chicks almost always late
Funny thing, I only recognized her because I could see her from her face that she recognized me. I told her too, that she could have probably sent a friend and I wouldn't have known the difference and joked around on that for a bit. "Would definitey work unless you'd have a blonde friend with a squeaky voice!"
I don't know about you guy but the beginnings of dates can be a bit stiff unless you take a firm lead and set the right tone. With some chicks the ball gets rolling on your own and you are either deep diving or having fun in no time and little but often that's not the case and you get these moments of silence when there's pressure to say or ask something and it's usually some uninspiring boring question. What I do is this:
"Okay, you know what, none of these boring shallow topics today, ok! How was your day - no bueno!? When was the last time you did something illegal - bueno! Soo, what to you do - no bueno! How often do you let your friends drive you around on the top of the roof of their car holding a champagne glass - very bueno!"
This works well to inject energy into the conversation, avoids the deathtrap of conventional topics, puts you in control, portrays you as adventurous and creative and provides you with conversational threads to use right away or later on.
Good thing I did this because having a conversation with this girl was like squeezing water out of stone. Not that she wasn't interested in me, just the silent type. You know, the intense silent type who doesn't say much but can drop a few bombs here and there!
She seemed young, of course I didn't ask right away but I figured out she's 20. I have this line I often use when speaking of age..
"Noo, I'm not going to guess your age! You know, when I was young guy, mom taught me two rules when it comes to women and their age! First rule, don't put yourself into a situation where you have guess a woman's age! Second rule, if you erred against rule #1 is, look at her attentively, and do an honest assessment... AND THEN SUBTRACT FIVE and say that and everyone will be happy"
The conversation did not flow at all with this girl. I busted her chops on her age, and her being a quiet one to keep things going.
"I bet you are one of these quiet ones who is secretly all crazy and into chain, leather and all that stuff!!" Some sexual framing never hurts right?
I did also qualify her on her personality. "You know, it's kind of easy for me to chill with you, I don't have to bla bla bla" Basically saying it's cool that's she a deep type and I'm enjoying that.
Also, the whole topic was like an offering on silver plate to let her take a quick MBTI test online. After she was done I told her to not tell me yet. Asked a few questions, a few cold reads and guessed 3/4 and being on the fence on the last one. Pretty good, I think. That's an excellent way of getting her talking herself and showing that you get her! Of course, I wasn't being super serious about, always mixing it up with humor and laughs.
Some other hightlights:
Flat out asked her whether she owns a pair of pair handcuffs?She just stayed silent... to which I replied "Say no more! I already know all I need to"
She asked me where I live and what I thought her age was when I met her.
When it came up she's vegan, I obviously had to take the opportunity to put myself in the position of authority to verify her principles by feeling the texture of her faux-leather pants and give an approving nod
Wrapping it up at the bar
My plan was to bounce after a few drinks. We got out, walked in the direction of my place. I said I need to pop by the groceries, and we could go hang out my place. Can't recall if added some excuse like seeing my mushroom farm or pet chincilla or smth of the sort. At any case, her reply was that she needed to get some work done in the evening bla bla.. I lead her to the groceries with me, picked up what I needed and used the time to think whether I should push her harder on going to my place or not..
I was a bit at a loss here. Seemed like mixed signals from her. She was kind of curious about me, asked me where I live etc but I didn't really enthusiasm nor excitement in her body-language.
Even though most of the time I tell myself to escalate and push until I get a firm no for at least twice but this time I decided I'll do it differently this time.
We said our goodbyes and I told her that next time we ought to cook some amazing vegan meal together!
What was my gut feeling with this girl? She was being (or pretending) to be a bit shy but seemed into me and quite compliant, too. I'm sure this girl is or will be wild when she feels sexually free..
On the other hand, I felt that escalation was missing a few steps and the sexual tone of the interaction was quite there yet. Or, tell me, is it different with shier girls? Was I missing the signs?
AFTER THE MEET
On the next day I happened to having some drinks with a couple of people. Some of them fancied it an excellent idea to got to an empty karaoke bar to sing duets. Well, I'm not one to piss on the campfire, so I just sat there amused.. took a photo and of the bar and sent it to my girl and a few other people, kind of out of boredom and to connect
Dec 20th
Rakkum: "Photo"
Rakkum: I really don't know how my weekend is taking such unexpected turns! Your influence!? [I think it was an inside joke referring back to what we spoke of but I'm not sure anymore]Her: Haha, yeaah, that's an interesting turn yes. I don't know anything but the lightning is beautiful at leastMe: Hahah, you really are a full-on aesthete! [She's studying something art related]
Her: Quite possible
Dec 26th
Rakkum: Ciao! Happy Holidays! Come by to hang out some of these days! Tomorrow or Tue would work for me ! [Bars closed due to restrictions | I know that I should have warmed up her with some emotion-building text but she's not super bubbly over text so I didn't]Her: Heey! Happy holidays to you too! But unfortunately I won't be coming back to the city anymore this year!
Dec 27
Rakkum: [short voice message]: acknowledging, saying happy end of year bla bla [Should I have omitted this message?]
QG: To you too!
ANALYSIS-QUESTONS
* Should I have pushed the physical escalation or was this a good call in your view?
* Is it a good idea to seed the idea for the next meet-up right before parting ways or is it better to return to it later over phone or text?
* Are those quiet girls harder to get sexually aroused or is it just that you can't tell it so easily from their body-languge or is it just same as with other types and I just failed to get the sparks flying here?
TLDR: Met a quiet shy girl from cold-approach, had a pretty decent date, had a bit difficult time gauging her arousal-interest level, failed to bring her back to my place.
MY STYLE
My style doesn't usually differ much between doing normal daily errands and when going out. The good thins is that guys around here aren't super good when it comes to style. Even more so in winter - a lot of people, esp. men opt for the dull trifecta of black, grey brown. Just wearing something slightly different yet stylish in bright colors is already good!
I have this red super puffy bright red bomber winter jacket with a hood. Got it second hand. It's a bit 80's but works wonderfully for me.
I'm wearing skinnier stretch bright blue washed jeans and Ecco chelseas (a bit expensive but will last AGES!). It's a bit of an unconventional mix. Normally you'd probably think about combat boots or something similar to combine with a bomber. I like how this all comes together so I'm satisfied.
THE APPROACH
The approach was as basic as it can get. Saw her standing in front of a grocery store, checking something on her phone. Opened from her side, a few meters away with a smile and and upbeat smile "Ciao!"!
"What's up? Saw you standing here and got a gut feeling she's cute!"
Fluff with her for a minute or two, suggested meeting up some time later and excused myself to get something from the groceries. Can't recall exactly what I said but something along the lines, ok, cool got to go and get those carrots now - something specifically mundane.
Dec 3rd
Rakkum: Ciao, QG! Cool to have met you, save the number! - Rakkum
QG: Heyo, okay, will do so
SETTING UP THE DATE
Dec 7th
Rakkum: Salut! What's cooking? How about doing something impromptu today!
QG: Hey-hey, I'm unfortuntately already busy with something today
Rakkum: Okey, cool
But you know, I completely forgot an important detail! How crazy are you!? Like, say, zero to ten QG: Haha, it completely depends whom you ask but I myself think is's 6-7QG: And you?
Dec 8th
Rakkum: Grandma's opinion is what matters
Rakkum: As to mo, well, under six would be stale, more than nine would be dangerous!
Dec 13th (evening)
Rakkum: Ciao! What's up?
[an hour later]
QG: Heyo, nothing much is happening haha
GQ: And you?
Rakkum: Choosing cookies at the supermarket!
GQ: Take Oreos!
Rakkum [voice message]: I was thinking of getting some impromptu drinks but it's starting to get a bit late, everything will be closed soon. Let's see about it next week.
GQ: Uhm yes good idea but I'm not an extempore kind of a person
Yees, let's see about next week.Dec 16th
Rakkum: Ciaao! A glass of wine on Friday, around seven o'clock! Bien? Sat afternoon would work too if Friday is a no go for you!
GQ: Heyo, I'm working at that time on Friday but maybe I could make it on Sat evening and actually I would prefer a cup of coffee haha
Dec 17th
Rakkum: Coffee!? OMG! Okay okay, fine
Sat around seven o'clock. Talk about it laterDec 18th (Saturday)
QG: Well, you can drink wine Idk
Dec 19th
Rakkum. Oh I can!?
Rakkum: Alright, seven o'clock, good?
QG: Let's do so
Rakkum: At X place then at seven. Grab a table if you get there before me!GQ: Ok
THE DATE
She was there more or less on time. Is it me or are chicks almost always late
Funny thing, I only recognized her because I could see her from her face that she recognized me. I told her too, that she could have probably sent a friend and I wouldn't have known the difference and joked around on that for a bit. "Would definitey work unless you'd have a blonde friend with a squeaky voice!"
I don't know about you guy but the beginnings of dates can be a bit stiff unless you take a firm lead and set the right tone. With some chicks the ball gets rolling on your own and you are either deep diving or having fun in no time and little but often that's not the case and you get these moments of silence when there's pressure to say or ask something and it's usually some uninspiring boring question. What I do is this:
"Okay, you know what, none of these boring shallow topics today, ok! How was your day - no bueno!? When was the last time you did something illegal - bueno! Soo, what to you do - no bueno! How often do you let your friends drive you around on the top of the roof of their car holding a champagne glass - very bueno!"
This works well to inject energy into the conversation, avoids the deathtrap of conventional topics, puts you in control, portrays you as adventurous and creative and provides you with conversational threads to use right away or later on.
Good thing I did this because having a conversation with this girl was like squeezing water out of stone. Not that she wasn't interested in me, just the silent type. You know, the intense silent type who doesn't say much but can drop a few bombs here and there!
She seemed young, of course I didn't ask right away but I figured out she's 20. I have this line I often use when speaking of age..
"Noo, I'm not going to guess your age! You know, when I was young guy, mom taught me two rules when it comes to women and their age! First rule, don't put yourself into a situation where you have guess a woman's age! Second rule, if you erred against rule #1 is, look at her attentively, and do an honest assessment... AND THEN SUBTRACT FIVE and say that and everyone will be happy
"The conversation did not flow at all with this girl. I busted her chops on her age, and her being a quiet one to keep things going.
"I bet you are one of these quiet ones who is secretly all crazy and into chain, leather and all that stuff!!" Some sexual framing never hurts right?
I did also qualify her on her personality. "You know, it's kind of easy for me to chill with you, I don't have to bla bla bla" Basically saying it's cool that's she a deep type and I'm enjoying that.
Also, the whole topic was like an offering on silver plate to let her take a quick MBTI test online. After she was done I told her to not tell me yet. Asked a few questions, a few cold reads and guessed 3/4 and being on the fence on the last one. Pretty good, I think. That's an excellent way of getting her talking herself and showing that you get her! Of course, I wasn't being super serious about, always mixing it up with humor and laughs.
Some other hightlights:
Flat out asked her whether she owns a pair of pair handcuffs?She just stayed silent... to which I replied "Say no more! I already know all I need to
"She asked me where I live and what I thought her age was when I met her.
When it came up she's vegan, I obviously had to take the opportunity to put myself in the position of authority to verify her principles by feeling the texture of her faux-leather pants and give an approving nod
Wrapping it up at the bar
My plan was to bounce after a few drinks. We got out, walked in the direction of my place. I said I need to pop by the groceries, and we could go hang out my place. Can't recall if added some excuse like seeing my mushroom farm or pet chincilla or smth of the sort. At any case, her reply was that she needed to get some work done in the evening bla bla.. I lead her to the groceries with me, picked up what I needed and used the time to think whether I should push her harder on going to my place or not..
I was a bit at a loss here. Seemed like mixed signals from her. She was kind of curious about me, asked me where I live etc but I didn't really enthusiasm nor excitement in her body-language.
Even though most of the time I tell myself to escalate and push until I get a firm no for at least twice but this time I decided I'll do it differently this time.
We said our goodbyes and I told her that next time we ought to cook some amazing vegan meal together!
What was my gut feeling with this girl? She was being (or pretending) to be a bit shy but seemed into me and quite compliant, too. I'm sure this girl is or will be wild when she feels sexually free..
On the other hand, I felt that escalation was missing a few steps and the sexual tone of the interaction was quite there yet. Or, tell me, is it different with shier girls? Was I missing the signs?
AFTER THE MEET
On the next day I happened to having some drinks with a couple of people. Some of them fancied it an excellent idea to got to an empty karaoke bar to sing duets. Well, I'm not one to piss on the campfire, so I just sat there amused.. took a photo and of the bar and sent it to my girl and a few other people, kind of out of boredom and to connect
Dec 20th
Rakkum: "Photo"
Rakkum: I really don't know how my weekend is taking such unexpected turns! Your influence!? [I think it was an inside joke referring back to what we spoke of but I'm not sure anymore]Her: Haha, yeaah, that's an interesting turn yes. I don't know anything but the lightning is beautiful at leastMe: Hahah, you really are a full-on aesthete! [She's studying something art related]
Her: Quite possible
Dec 26th
Rakkum: Ciao! Happy Holidays! Come by to hang out some of these days! Tomorrow or Tue would work for me ! [Bars closed due to restrictions | I know that I should have warmed up her with some emotion-building text but she's not super bubbly over text so I didn't]Her: Heey! Happy holidays to you too! But unfortunately I won't be coming back to the city anymore this year!
Dec 27
Rakkum: [short voice message]: acknowledging, saying happy end of year bla bla [Should I have omitted this message?]
QG: To you too!
ANALYSIS-QUESTONS
* Should I have pushed the physical escalation or was this a good call in your view?
* Is it a good idea to seed the idea for the next meet-up right before parting ways or is it better to return to it later over phone or text?
* Are those quiet girls harder to get sexually aroused or is it just that you can't tell it so easily from their body-languge or is it just same as with other types and I just failed to get the sparks flying here?
