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FR  Random Chillout

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Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 11, 2016
Messages
376
Let's call her Greenie

Does she like me or nah?
Can I make something out of this?

How we met
I met her on a taxi. Forgot how. I just remember that it ended with me getting off with her, escorting her to her next cab and then mentioning that I was just escorting her, to which she was pleasantly surprised. Got her numbers when I met her another day after she told me that we were in the same class. I texted her once, but on the second text she didn’t respond. so I decided to call her after mustering up the confidence, but it went straight to voicemail, so I next her digitallyuntil I'm in the mood again.

I kept bumping into her a few times and playfully talking to her about random stuff.

Today
As we all exit class Greenie sits outside waiting for something. I show up and ask her what’s up. The girl I’m walking with waits for me. I keep ignoring her and eventually the girl slides off (never had a dating chance with her anyway. She’s a bit too aloof). Greenie realises this and tells me that my friend is leaving me. I respond with

“she knows that you’re the winner in this game”

She blushes a bit and tells me to knock it off.

We talk a bit and she seems to be waiting for her next period. But after I point out that it’s a long way away, she says that she has nothing to do.
So I probe her a bit to figure out her plans and she planned to watch movies on her laptop. Which is dead now. I offer to keep her company. She asks me what I was planning on doing and I say going home. She then asks me if I have any movies and then I say yes but admit that they’re pretty old. She doesn’t mind and she asks me if she can come over to watch one.
I immediately remember how messy my room is.

“YES!!!!”

As we head on towards it, we talk about random stuff. I admit that my room is a mess and she agrees to chill in the lounge(-ish) area while I clean. So that’s what we did. Afterwards, my housemates show up and I make it seem like I’m the backbone of the house so I can get some social proof out of em. Then I invite her into my room. She processed the invitation and said yes. In we go. When we’re in there we sit awkwardly. But I can’t get her to my bed because I didn’t introduce that or touching into the relationship yet. And I was pussying out because of her next class, so I felt like failure was pretty high. We continue talking about random stuff as I send her movies and eventually she needs to get to class.

As we leave she asks me where I’m going. I tell her that I’m meeting up with somebody (a girl I thought was a potential lay). She asks me if it’s a girlfriend. I say:

No.

and after hesitating a bit, I say:
I was hoping that you could be my girlfriend.

She instantly says no. Then I ask her if the no is temporary. She says no. Then I ask if we could be friends with benefits. She says no. Then I say really and she asks me if I’m kidding and that she’s really hoping that I’m kidding.

I don’t remember my response to this, but I made sure to avoid saying that I was kidding. I knew the entire time that it would have sounded needy. But something inside me told me to go ahead with it anyway. So I did.

Then she asked me if I ever had a girlfriend. I use this as an opportunity to tell her that I don’t really believe in marriage and that I’m in it all for the fun. She disagrees with this. She handled it pretty well though. I turn the question around on her and this is what confuses me:

She starts telling me about all of her ex boyfriends and lovers and what she thought about all of them. In detail.
I’m just listening and taking notes at this point. It’s a topic that lasted for a solid 10 minutes before she reaches class.

After we split up, I feel like we actually got closer than we were before today. Even though I not only sounded needy, but I also disqualified myself as a husband candidate. The way she said goodbye was a bit warmer than the usual ones. I dunno. Not sure if that was her way of letting me know that we could’ve banged and that I should try harder next time. Or if she was just trying to drown me with so much value that the league difference becomes apparent. Or if she was just trying to qualify herself.

Honestly, I’m just glad to be posting something on the field report boards.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,556
Sup Ash. Glad to see you're out making progress! There were a couple pretty clear things that happened here that are big no-no's, and I hope I don't come across as harsh in my analysis - and I mean this as nothing more than constructive criticism.


I show up and ask her what’s up. The girl I’m walking with waits for me. I keep ignoring her and eventually the girl slides off (never had a dating chance with her anyway. She’s a bit too aloof). Greenie realises this and tells me that my friend is leaving me. I respond with

“she knows that you’re the winner in this game”

She blushes a bit and tells me to knock it off.

Boom. Preselection + Qualifying is a great thing. She saw you with her girl putting your value up and attainability lower, then you qualify her which raises your attainability, AND do so in a way that gives the other girl a chase frame (I would say it gives her a chase frame too but telling her she is the "winner" dissolves it quickly) I might not have done this myself because I see it as qualifying her a little too quickly, but it seemed to work for you so overall nice bro.

She then asks me if I have any movies and then I say yes but admit that they’re pretty old. She doesn’t mind and she asks me if she can come over to watch one.

She was giving you windows to invite her over and hook up. Solid.

Then I invite her into my room. She processed the invitation and said yes. In we go. When we’re in there we sit awkwardly. But I can’t get her to my bed because I didn’t introduce that or touching into the relationship yet. And I was pussying out because of her next class, so I felt like failure was pretty high. We continue talking about random stuff as I send her movies and eventually she needs to get to class.

But you seemed to have talked yourself out of the hook up by making excuses as to why she wouldn't be down instead of just going for it.

As we leave she asks me where I’m going. I tell her that I’m meeting up with somebody (a girl I thought was a potential lay). She asks me if it’s a girlfriend.

She started to think of reasons that you didn't go for it, because she thought you guys were on the same page.

I was hoping that you could be my girlfriend.

She instantly says no. Then I ask her if the no is temporary. She says no. Then I ask if we could be friends with benefits. She says no. Then I say really and she asks me if I’m kidding and that she’s really hoping that I’m kidding.

You show her that you guys are clearly not on the same page and then put your self straight into chasing.

After we split up, I feel like we actually got closer than we were before today. Even though I not only sounded needy, but I also disqualified myself as a husband candidate. The way she said goodbye was a bit warmer than the usual ones. I dunno. Not sure if that was her way of letting me know that we could’ve banged and that I should try harder next time. Or if she was just trying to drown me with so much value that the league difference becomes apparent. Or if she was just trying to qualify herself.

I would imagine her mind left her somewhere that she felt flattered at the gesture by the end, and now she's happy to have a guy like you chasing her.



Why did you ask her to be your girlfriend? There's multiple, but here are the two main reasons that's just a huge no-no.

1). It's asking way too much investment too quickly
2). You two haven't had sex yet


Though, the early stuff is pretty solid. Try working something like that on other girls and just push past your mental barrier and go for the hook up!

Best,


Hue
 

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Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 11, 2016
Messages
376
Hey Hue,

I didn't look at it like that hey. Although something told me that there may have been some sexual tension at the end when she started telling me about her exes. Mostly because she focused a lot on the sex of it all rather than the actual exes themselves or anything else.

As for the girlfriend thing, her no's were less serious in tone and more.....ironic.

It's hard to explain, but I doubt that she's autorejected me as I met her yesterday and things seemed okay. Though whether the attraction has expired or not, I'll figure that out soon. If it hasn't then I'll incorporate touching into the fray so that I have no more excuses when she comes over.

But either way, this is why I love the boards. Something as simple as perspective could solve a problem you'd think is unsolvable.

Thanks man
 
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