Rant before heading out!

[John Elton]

This account written assuming nite club scenario when alone. In other words it can be hard to act like you've better things going on. I haven't done this much, but when I do, it can be quite an aliening experience until you 1st end up interacting with people(girl or guys), at which point you feel completely different. And that(outside of advancing girls) may not necessarily even happen. The long periods between hitting on girls can make you feel like you don't really have a purpose. You don't want to be the being moved out of the way, or put watching others' drinks while they dance.

But generally speaking, I know it's best to act as soon as you see a girl, without thinking what you're going to say. Although the way I see it, is that there is the chance that you will literally have nothing to say after the initial 'hello'. The other thing, is that often (because I'm trying to be different), I'll choose dead air space over saying something typical... like "so how's your night going?". She might say "how's yours going" knowing that my answer really depends on how things go with her... or at least you feel that way. The worst is when I'm scanning for women, and then I turn around at and she's right there looking at me.

So I guess the best attitude, is to approach knowing I'm about to make a hundred mistakes, rather than getting my hopes up. The other thing is, I know I could easily go over to a girl and do/say something that would peak her curiosity & make myself look cool for the first 15 seconds or so, but after that I'd fall flat... dead air space. In other words, it's easy to find excuses to not interact with a stranger, when often there's not a lot to say. I'm good at going against the fear, but I'm not yet convinced it's much good if you don't think you're a natural.

So is this what I expect? To approach one minute, and look like a complete idiot, by looking like someone who either clearly doesn't know what he's doing, or who looks like he's trying to be somebody he's not AND then the next minute(having fearlessly continued with the method) to make progress.

Essentially that's what it boils down to for beginners; coming to terms with potentially looking like idiot. And if you think about it, there are actually many reasons one will not want to look like an idiot. Because of your perception of yourself, because of your status, and also because you know you'll take that feeling with you for quite a while and it make effect how you behave during that while. I don't know if it's made clear on this site, that one should expect to look like an idiot(to put it bluntly), but that's the case!

I also often forget the possibility of being able interact with girls from a far, with a wink or whatever. All too often do I see myself looking at a girl from a far, who when she returns my gaze, the only thing I think is "shit, now I have to act quickly, or it will take more courage to act". I've gotta stop that.

Anyway, that's my rant. I'm not sure if it's written well, but I'm in a new city tonight, and am about to head out! Won't be getting my hopes up though!

 

[John Elton]

Made 4 moves that night. I know I should have a higher number than that.

At one point there was this attractive girl who seemed a bit drunk. It was quite load, so it took me a while to realise, that when I tried talking to her, all I got was one word! No matter what I seems to say, she only replied with that word! ... think was maybe her name. I don't know if she was just really drunk, or if she was just doing this to confuse me, knowing that it would get rd of me. Anyone ever come across something like this before?

Then towards the end of the night, at closing time when the music had stopped, I saw this do-able girl, who seemed to be alone. It turned out she also wasn't local and was waiting for her friends(from that city) to finish talking to people she didn't know.

As I approached, she gave a laugh(not in a mean way), as she knew exactly what I was about to try. I said "I haven't even told a joke yet, and you're already laughing". We then got talking for a bit. When she asked who I was with, I said I was with a friend who needed to leave for a night-shift. She then asked what I was still doing there(as it had closed), to which I seemed happy to say "I really don't know". I was pretty close to making it known what I wanted from her, at which point she made it quite clear that she was with her friends, and that that was her way of communicating that she wasn't available for anything. That was enough to stop me.

When she asked me how I was getting home, I said I'd be driving back to my hotel. When I said that I could see in her eyes that she had made sense of what my plan and logistics were. Forget exactly, but for some reason she said "be careful, don't go home with any foreigners or anything like that".

I said "why, that didn't happen to you I suppose?"
Her: "No, it's just after that girl who was murdered by that guy in the news last week"
Me: "Gee yeah, I know" and trying to joke "it isn't just foreigners that murder you know!"

For some reason she ended up making reference to her friend again. Since we both knew what I was after I said I'd make a joke by saying "with the fact that you're referring to your friend, and all this talk of murder, it kind of pretty much stops me dead in my tracks doesn't". This was enough to make her laugh, but after that I had given up on it, & just continued to talk with her a while.