Rare kind you're extremely attracted to; how much do you need to hide this?

[ThePhoenix]

So, this report where Ambiance may have lost out in part from revealing how much his type a girl was, has me a bit concerned over whether I'm about to screw up!

A girl I want to try pulling this week, the Sudanese girl I talked to recently, is studying fashion and I think she's passionate about it, so I expect some conversation about that. I'm a big fan of a few South Sudanese fashion models, and could totally see myself mention them by name in a conversation on that topic unless I'm actually making a point not to. Although the girl is from the country now to the north, she's got the same look (Nilotic; I had initially thought she was South Sudanese).

Well, I could gush all day over how beautiful these women are... obviously I wouldn't quite do that in front of one, but if they come up at all, well, a little bit might slip out...  |-)

Even if I keep quiet on that topic, my computer could betray me! I like having beautiful ladies in its desktop slideshow; it's mostly fashion models. Well, 40% of them are South Sudanese, which, demographically speaking, is dramatic over-representation! (Another 40% are other Africans, and the remainder are Caribbean and African American.) Not that you'd know the percentages unless you watched it all day... it would be more of a dice roll with the above odds.

Technically I should sleep with the girl before she sees that, but it's not guaranteed by any means since the most potent excuses to pull home involve my opening it at least briefly. Do I really have to take out my favorite Nilotic beauties? Ugh. LOL

Now, I'd never actually tell a girl she's my type, but at least for physical type, it might not be hard for her to infer unless I make a point of preventing it.

When I think about it more broadly, it's probably even easier to infer that I love black women generally; I don't put it in their faces, but I certainly don't hide it, either. And so far I don't think it's harmed me any, as far as I can see. But that's not exactly comparable, because it's not like black women are remarkably rare here, so there's a lot of room for my finding any particular black girl to be much more or much less my type than others.

Nilotic women, on the other hand, are extremely rare where I live; this one's only the second I've bumped into in a whole year or more! And many of them are extremely beautiful to me (even ones who aren't models).

So. How careful do I have to be to not let her see that I'm extremely attracted to women of her kind?

 

[foggy]

phoenix,

I don't think you needa hide it that much. sure, they might be your type physically, but there's no guarantee that they're your type in terms of personality. and you gotta communicate your standards to her. otherwise you come off as too easy and she doesn't feel special.

you could try to hide your attraction all day long but your body language will still betray you ie giving her sparkly eyes

another consideration is that the more effort you put into hiding your attraction, the more you're investing...gotta be careful, you don't wanna end up being a mound of helpless jello around her

 

[Hue]

You should be honest with your interest in approaching and talking to a woman.

The problem only arises when you're gushing with emotion and you're more or less freaking out over a girl. While this can be flattering in some sense, it's gonna make you waaaay too attainable. Or perhaps less attractive because you can't control yourself.

So, simply put, you shouldn't hide your interest - be genuine. Go up to her and tell her, "hey, I saw you and just thought you were so cute / the way you're wearing your dress is elegant". You don't have to say it's because of her ethnicity, because that's not important.

But you should control your own emotions (instead of say, forcing your facial expressions / body language to betray your feelings - which can be done but it's harder) and mainly reveal attraction during moments fit to qualify her or escalate physically. Like if you've gotten past your hook point and have broken the touch barrier, then she says something in a super cute way, or makes a witty joke and you're really attracted to it - laughing with a smile and touching her leg is the appropriate response rather than gushing about how amazingly cute/funny you thought it was.

Or, to draw an image of tempering your emotions, just saying, "you're so cute" with a slight smile, then letting that breath a second after she gives you a reason to I've seen work great. The effect it has on her (assuming you've gotten to this point in the seduction) may better move you towards that sweet spot of attainability, instead of hiding your interest (too low) or being head over heels for her (too high).


Hue

 

[ThePhoenix]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the pointers!

sure, they might be your type physically, but there's no guarantee that they're your type in terms of personality.

I was thinking that, too.

another consideration is that the more effort you put into hiding your attraction, the more you're investing...

The subtle irony of it! Really good point, and easily overlooked!

gotta be careful, you don't wanna end up being a mound of helpless jello around her

Hahaha, yeah!! That's kind of what I was afraid I'd do considering how rarely I see this type in person. I actually surprised myself by not falling apart completely, but I guess that's just because of the practice I've had on other girls, such that the simple act of approaching and talking to an attractive female wasn't so alien.

I've been having to remind myself that I have to just play with it and experiment just as I would with any other girl. I have to keep outcome independence. At least it's not a oneitis, cuz I know there's plenty more of this type somewhere in the world... I have been reminding myself of that. (Unfortunately, that somewhere is rather dangerous right now, but whatever.)

The problem only arises when you're gushing with emotion and you're more or less freaking out over a girl.

Yes! I think what happened with me, is that I had a really bad experience, before I was aware of seduction as an art/science, with doting all over a girl (Aysa) and getting painful rejections. Then when I shortly after discovered seduction writings, it was a more extreme author who emphasized the inherent value imbalance in favour of the woman when going into a seduction. That rang so true because of my prior bad experience with gushing over a girl, that I became totally put off of any kind of show of interest. So, I've had to dial back in some interest both for attainability and to not "hide the banana", but I still feel a little funny about giving any compliments, even though I normally do now.

hey, I saw you and just thought you were so cute

I'll have to play with this one. I've often done an indirect open and then told the girl "you're cute", but I find that it somehow seems a little blasé. It may be because this is the compliment I give when I can't find anything more specific to give. In fact, this is often what I'll do with women wearing weave, cuz I hate weave. Ones in natural (afro) hair I'll most often compliment their hair, which seems to go over better. But maybe I need to try it with the intensifier, i.e. "so" cute; I never tried it that way, partly for fear of seeming too needy.

laughing with a smile and touching her leg

...

...just saying, "you're so cute" with a slight smile, then letting that breath a second after she gives you a reason to...

These seem very confident. Good stuff!