First Field Report: Tinder Date (8/5/25)
M: Me
H: Her
Okay so I met up with a girl today, and since I failed to pull I decided to make a FR. And that's what prompted me to start this journal, which is why I wrote out all that background info, and so on...
(This is a great case study for me. My game has never been deeply scrutinized before)
Pre-Meetup
So, it was a tinder matched, from like months ago... here's all the convo, from the match, until the meet (btw Tinder profile has 'Short-term fun' and 'Open to Exploring', not that it means anything js... 28 yo :
BY THE WAY
@Skills A LOT OF THIS STUFF IS BASICALLY UR STUFF.. or inspired by ur stuff... EXCEPT ME BEING LAZY WITH IT AND NOT USING IT EFFECTIVELY
I am terrible texter, I am so bored of it I send too much too random shit etc... but it is what it is and I post convo without comment:
| 7/31/2025 21:06 | H: | Rasta! It’s H I finally made it out of the app hahaha. So sorry for the late text but I hope you’d still be down to meet one of these days soon! |
| 7/31/2025 21:19 | M: | [voice msg: Enthusiastic] [ Heey whats going on. Getting ready for bed?] |
| 7/31/2025 22:05 | H: | Heyy yea just chillin for now haha what about you? |
| 7/31/2025 22:27 | M: | word |
| 7/31/2025 22:28 | M: | I'm checking out cribs cuz my lease will expire end of Aug |
| 7/31/2025 22:28 | M: | i need ur nj expertise |
| 7/31/2025 22:39 | H: | Ahh ahha are you not from nj? There’s some nice places for sure. Where are you looking rn? |
| 7/31/2025 22:43 | M: | im from [REDACTED]  (yeah I sent this lmao) |
| 7/31/2025 22:45 | M: | I'm looking around uhh ZZZ but I think NJ suburbs are boring... maybe I should look nearer towards Rutgers |
| 7/31/2025 22:45 | M: | wya |
| 7/31/2025 22:54 | H: |  to “ im from [REDACTED] ” |
| 7/31/2025 22:55 | H: | Yeah try to look more city type Rutgers could be fun! |
| 7/31/2025 22:59 | M: | [quoting my redacted msg] ?do u remember where im from |
| 7/31/2025 23:03 | H: | I mean it says YYY on your profile but your phone number is a diff area code so I’m unsure lol |
| 7/31/2025 23:06 | M: | ooo did I even tell u |
| 7/31/2025 23:07 | M: | I grew up in Greece but was living in Madrid, then the Philippines.. before coming back to the US last yr |
| 7/31/2025 23:08 | M: | but I'm in YYY rn yeah and it sucks and I want somewhere more fun  |
| 7/31/2025 23:08 | M: | [quoting my wya msg] ? |
| 8/1/2025 13:27 | H: | Omg! That’s so cool what part of Greece are you from? |
| 8/1/2025 13:28 | H: | Damn so you chose Jersey after everything hahaha good for you |
| 8/1/2025 13:29 | H: | YYY is okay! I live in XXX it’s super suburban, for more fun city areas I would recommend New Brunswick I feel like it’s definitely a younger crowd more artsy |
| 8/1/2025 13:35 | M: | I grew up in Athens I'm WWW but I'm only a halfing. My mom is irish american  ur more Greek than me lmao |
| 8/1/2025 13:36 | M: | I was living in center City before I accepted this offer and moved here for a short commute tbh Philly is awesome |
| 8/1/2025 13:37 | M: | YYY sux   oh cool I know where XXX is, are u on summer vacay now whats ur schedule? |
| 8/1/2025 13:46 | H: | Oh wow that’s so cool! I would love to visit Greece one day my dad always talks about going back |
| 8/1/2025 13:47 | H: | What was the offer that you couldn’t refuse? Philly is dope |
| 8/1/2025 13:47 | H: | And yess I’m on summer vacation but working during the day, free in the evenings usually! How about you? |
| 8/1/2025 14:01 | M: | go birds |
| 8/1/2025 14:01 | M: | nah jk im not a football guy lol |
| 8/1/2025 14:02 | M: | i dabble in a lot of stuff, im tryna bring my fashion brand over.. but my day job rn is risk analyst |
| 8/1/2025 14:03 | M: | that's cool, i work remote 1-2 a week usually 7:30 - 3:30 just got done now for today finna drive home, |
| 8/1/2025 14:56 | H: | Fashion very nice! Love the creative field, never push your dreams aside haha |
| 8/1/2025 15:29 | M: | ayyy appreciate u saying that 🫶 |
| 8/1/2025 15:29 | M: | boutta grab a fresh cut then see where the wind takes me |
| 8/1/2025 15:31 | M: | if ur around later and feel spontaneous, lmk  |
| 8/1/2025 18:17 | H: | Yes of course! I’m in the creative field too so I always respect it will have to catch you on the next spontaneous night out I’m out with fam rn! |
| 8/1/2025 18:22 | M: | tell them you met a handsome man from the old country that will sweep you off your feet |
| 8/1/2025 20:18 | H: | Hahha I’ll tell them once I meet you and see if that’s true   |
| 8/2/2025 9:05 | M: | to “ Hahha I’ll tell them once I meet you and see if that’s true ” |
| 8/2/2025 9:07 | M: | καλημέρες  |
| 8/2/2025 9:56 | H: | [voice msg: Good Morning] |
| 8/2/2025 10:33 | M: | [voice msg: I'm gonna go do a lil workout. I hear car sounds, are u driving to work? U work today?] |
| 8/2/2025 10:41 | M: | damn its a beautiful day |
| 8/2/2025 10:41 | M: | [sent her a selfie in the car] |
| 8/2/2025 11:07 | H: |  to “ damn its a beautiful day ” |
| 8/2/2025 11:07 | H: | [VOICE MSG: yeah that was my car runnign errands this morning then going to see family up north. Have a lil barbqque? Very family oriented. Cool yeah have a good workout its gorgeous outside |
| 8/2/2025 11:13 | M: | oh sweet |
| 8/2/2025 11:14 | M: | I'll enjoy the weather later right now im lifting heavy things up and down indoors  |
| 8/2/2025 11:14 | M: | are u very tight with ur family, got any siblings? I'll be more family oriented in a month my mom will visit |
| 8/2/2025 14:12 | H: | Yes very close with my family for sure, I’m a triplet too! I have a yyy and a zzz- how about you? And that’s nice where is she visiting from? |
| 8/2/2025 16:19 | M: | yo that’s wild i’ve never met a triplet |
| 8/2/2025 16:19 | M: | i’m tryna imagine 3 versions of u running around |
| 8/2/2025 16:21 | M: | yea shes flying in from Greece |
| 8/2/2025 16:25 | M: | figured we should catch each other before I disappear into the dutiful son role |
| 8/2/2025 16:25 | M: | what night do I get you to myself? |
| 8/2/2025 18:21 | H: | to “ yo that’s wild i’ve never met a triplet ” |
| 8/2/2025 18:21 | H: | Haha yess it’s definitely unique we’re xxxx though so you can definitely tell the difference haha |
| 8/2/2025 18:22 | H: | to “ figured we should catch each other before I disappear into the dutiful son role ” |
| 8/2/2025 18:22 | H: | And aw that’s so nice! When is she coming to visit? Maybe we can plan something before (or after whatever works!) |
| 8/2/2025 18:22 | H: | Do you like coffee? |
| 8/2/2025 18:23 | H: | Or maybe we can do something as an evening event, maybe a drink instead? |
| 8/2/2025 19:20 | M: | i’m down for coffee |
| 8/2/2025 19:21 | M: | but only if ur as fun in person as u are on text |
| 8/2/2025 19:21 | M: | what's your week looking like |
| 8/2/2025 20:19 | H: | Hahha back at ya I’m working 9-6 all week  maybe we can go for a decaf coffee haha |
| 8/2/2025 20:21 | H: | I’m pretty sure I’m free on like Tuesday or Wednesday? Do you wanna go to the mall or something or do you know of a good coffee place? |
| 8/2/2025 21:26 | M: | there's a spot not far from me in YYY where we can grab a coffee |
| 8/2/2025 21:26 | M: | XXX park is a short drive—nice stretch of green could explore there |
| 8/2/2025 21:27 | M: | Tuesday evening works |
| 8/2/2025 21:35 | H: | Yeah let’s grab coffee & see where the night takes us, that sounds good! What’s the coffee place? |
| 8/2/2025 21:42 | M: |  to “ Yeah let’s grab coffee & see where the night takes us, that sounds good! What’s the coffee place? ” |
| 8/2/2025 21:42 | M: | i like that energy already |
| 8/2/2025 21:45 | M: | it's the dunkin at xxx—nothing fancy but the coffees good |
| 8/2/2025 22:06 | H: | Ooooo, unless you wanna go here for a nice cup? |
| 8/2/2025 22:06 | H: | [Shares location of coffee shop] |
| 8/2/2025 22:06 | H: | This place is cute! And we can walk around a little bit too |
| 8/2/2025 22:24 | M: | you’re lucky that place looks cute… i was ready to defend dunkin’s honor |
| 8/2/2025 22:24 | M: | I like [coffee shop borough], let's roll with that |
| 8/2/2025 22:25 | M: | text me a time and ill meet u there |
| 8/2/2025 22:31 | H: | to “ you’re lucky that place looks cute… i was ready to defend dunkin’s honor ” |
| 8/2/2025 22:33 | H: | Okay sounds good! I work like 15 min from there, wanna shoot for 6:30? I know they close at 7 but we can grab something and chill (maybe eat food somewhere too hehe) |
| 8/2/2025 23:09 | M: | 6:30 im locked in |
| 8/2/2025 23:09 | M: | already planning the second half of the date too? bold of you [ I SAID DATE HERE FUCK. OH WELL.] |
| 8/2/2025 23:53 | H: | Hahaha hey listen who doesn’t love to eat? |
| 8/3/2025 11:11 | M: | lol careful what u wish for |
| 8/3/2025 11:11 | M: | i used to eat like a machine back in ho chi minh, 4,200 calories a day |
| 8/3/2025 11:12 | M: | I plateaued at 200lbs, and I think I broke my appetite ever since |
| 8/3/2025 12:47 | H: | Omg! Well damn what was your favorite dish over there? |
| 8/3/2025 15:11 | M: | i honestly don't like Vietnamese food, too fatty and portion sizes too small |
| 8/3/2025 15:12 | M: | my russian ex was cooking for me mainly Borscht |
| 8/3/2025 15:12 | M: | they have some great sea food tho I'll admit that. some huge tasty shrimp |
| 8/3/2025 15:13 | M: | Chinese, Japanese and thai food is amazing, filipino and vietnamese cuisine? not for me |
| 8/3/2025 15:32 | H: | Ooo I never had Vietnamese or Filipino food before! Or Borscht haha, definitely need to branch out more |
| 8/3/2025 15:32 | H: | to “ Chinese, Japanese and thai food is amazing, filipino and vietnamese cuisine? not for me ” |
| 8/3/2025 15:32 | H: | Love Thai, Chinese, Japanese (of course I’ve had the Americanized versions of them but they’re still good haha) |
| 8/3/2025 15:33 | H: | My moms XXX so I mainly grew up on Italian food & the occasional Greek foods (my dad is ZZZ but doesn’t cook really) |
| 8/3/2025 16:32 | M: | bet u just there for vibes and leftovers |
| 8/3/2025 16:32 | M: | u cook anything or u leave that to DoorDash and the fam? |
| 8/3/2025 16:35 | H: | Hahaha I’ve been trying to cook more for sure!! I like to try new recipes & my sister’s partner is a chef so I’ve been learning from him too |
| 8/3/2025 16:36 | H: | My mom cooks a lot but I help her too I do love the occasional ordering in if I’m feeling lazy of course |
| 8/3/2025 16:37 | H: | I make a mean Moussaka I will say, haven’t perfected the bechamel sauce yet though |
| 8/3/2025 18:03 | M: | greek girls who can almost make moussaka be like “i swear it’s good just ignore the sauce” |
| 8/3/2025 18:03 | M: | nah i’ll give u credit tho… better than 90% of ppl who just microwave frozen trader joe’s spanakopita |
| 8/3/2025 19:06 | H: | to “ greek girls who can almost make moussaka be like “i swear it’s good just ignore the sauce” ” |
| 8/3/2025 19:06 | H: | Oh god at LEAST put it in the oven hahahaha |
| 8/3/2025 21:03 | M: |  to “ Oh god at LEAST put it in the oven hahahaha ” |
| 8/3/2025 21:45 | H: | … brought these to my friends house literally today LOL |
| 8/3/2025 21:46 | H: | [picture of the trader joes spanakopita] |
| 8/3/2025 22:03 | M: | to a photo |
| 8/3/2025 22:04 | M: | caught red-handed huh |
| 8/3/2025 22:05 | M: | at some point I expect homemade moussaka or i’m pressin charges |
| 8/3/2025 22:19 | H: | to “ at some point I expect homemade moussaka or i’m pressin charges ” |
| 8/3/2025 22:21 | H: |
Yeah I called myself out for sure do you cook?? I wanna taste some  authentic Greek food or something haha |
|
| 8/3/2025 22:23 | M: | ok bet I'll give you something to salivate over  |
| 8/3/2025 23:21 | H: | Hahaha I knew that was gonna backfire |
| 8/3/2025 23:24 | M: | backfire? nah it's a blessing in disguise |
| 8/3/2025 23:24 | H: | Straight from Athens, delicious I’m sure |
| 8/3/2025 23:26 | M: | delicious yes, straight from Athens? nah more like Greece -> UAE -> Philippines -> Taiwan -> USA |
| 8/3/2025 23:30 | H: | Hahaha we love a detour of course, well traveled worldly  |
| 8/3/2025 23:30 | H: | I’ve never left the us before (sent with Gentle Effect) |
| 8/4/2025 8:54 | M: | [good morning picture] |
| 8/4/2025 16:51 | H: | Happy Monday! |
| 8/4/2025 16:51 | H: | [she sents a selfie of herself] |
| 8/4/2025 17:07 | M: | to a photo |
| 8/4/2025 17:07 | M: | sup |
| 8/4/2025 17:07 | M: | [I send selfie back] |
| 8/4/2025 17:08 | M: | just got home, toured some apartments after work today |
| 8/4/2025 18:45 | H: | Hey hey! How’s the apartment touring go? |
| 8/4/2025 18:45 | H: | Reacted  to an image |
| 8/4/2025 19:38 | M: |
[Hey whats up. Yea I like that place not bad 1BD.. Bigger than my current place, better rent. But they threw out the fucking fridge. Looking at other places. How was your day] |
|
| 8/4/2025 21:20 | H: | [blablala boring shit] |
| 8/4/2025 21:21 | H: | [blablaa boring shit] |
| 8/4/2025 21:31 | M: | ohhh I feel u, I'm all yapped out and still not done, but dw we'll do plenty of that and more tomorrow |
| 8/4/2025 22:24 | H: | Yess I hear you! Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow |
| 8/5/2025 11:06 | M: | gm  |
| 8/5/2025 13:59 | H: | Good morning/ afternoon!! |
| 8/5/2025 14:06 | M: | Watcha up to H.. besides thinking of me and smiling |
| 8/5/2025 15:58 | H: | Working with my last class of the day, teaching advanced observational drawing! In the beginning stages haha |
| 8/5/2025 15:58 | H: | [some art stuff] |
| 8/5/2025 15:58 | H: | How about you?? |
| 8/5/2025 16:14 | M: | I'm back, gonna shower then I'll be good |
| 8/5/2025 16:35 | H: | Awesome |
| 8/5/2025 18:35 | H: | Just parked! Heading over now |
| 8/5/2025 18:36 | M: | 3125 [this was the parking meter number I wanted a clipboard so I messaged her it but it was actually free] |
| 8/5/2025 18:37 | H: | Don’t have to pay at this time! Woo hoo! |
| 8/5/2025 20:05 | H: | Hey get home safe thanks for a fun night |
| 8/5/2025 20:33 | M: | just got home |
| 8/5/2025 20:34 | H: | Aww good me too!! Same time lol |
| 8/5/2025 20:44 | H: | to “ 3125 ” |
So I parked, called her right before parking to ask if she knows if I have to pay for parking etc, turned out it was free during that time.
| 8/5/2025 18:36 | M: | 3125 [this was the parking meter number I wanted a clipboard so I messaged her it but it was actually free] |
| 8/5/2025 18:37 | H: | Don’t have to pay at this time! Woo hoo! |
Meetup
I go outside the coffee shop, don't see anyone, hang out a bit, then I see her walking, crossing the street at the intersection. Give her a little wave, she waves back, we exchange greetings, nice little hug etc.
We go in, she gets some tea flavor, I get rasberry hibiscus something. She tells me she's allergic to that, I tell her what lol what else e4tc. We were both kinda going for our credit card, I figured I'd get it (nbd) . We talk a bit, the vibe is good, I'm in control of the convo, leading, getting her to sit there, sit here, lets take a walk. We go for a walk around the neighborhood. Talking mostly about our common background, I've travelled around, she hasn't been outside the US. A bit about family history, what she does, her siblings etc. She's 28 (I'm 29), she has 2 siblings her age and they all live at home. Her and all her siblings are creative types. She teaches art, her siblings are like musicians and shit. She does video editing too.
We go to the plaza and sit down on some chairs at a table. After a bit, I start to get that feeling that I will throw up in the next 2 min. She's talking about something, mid convo I get up, tell her I feel a little dizzy, she says you want us to get some water etc. I tell her nah this restaraunt next door I'll use their restroom. I go in, throw up all that nasty ass purple rasberry shit. I come out, tell her yeah I am probably allergic to the same stuff, must be our shared background
anyway, we keep up the walk. I grab her hand, while walking. We talk a little, do you have any tattoos (I told her I wanna get one for my dad), kino her tattoos, shes into it blabla. While handholding btw, even before the dinner, I was commenting on her figure 'wow do you workout, you are so shapely...' stuff like that, giving her a little turn while holding her hand so I can admire her figure. She's into it.
We walk around the walkable part of this little suburban (fucking US suburbs you know there's like a little strip with activity and the rest is dead af) and then walk back towards the main part. We pass a liquor store
M: Let's grab a bottle and share it
H: Oh? Well we could.. out here?
M: No ( I didn't elaborate since I felt the pull wasn't in the cards yet)
H: I am kinda hungry...
M: We can get something light
H: Or appetizers at a place....
I leave her hanging for a bit check my phone (if we gotta grab a bite sure as hell not gonna let her pick the fucking place)
M: Lets do this place (It was some ramen place)
H: Yeah that looks good
It was 1 min away. We walk in, we sit (it wasn't a big place, but the reception lady seated us on a table, and we were across from each other. There wasn't really room to practically sit next to each other, but that was a mistake tbh. Because there was a high-bar place we could have sat there and be side by side. anyways..)
Dinner
She goes to the bathroom. I check out the menu (fuck its like 15-17$ bucks for a little thing of ramen dude. Fuck dinner dates) I'm think whatever, I'm gonna split it anyway. We talk, food comes, talk a bit about the shore, her various pieces of jewerly, she says oh this is from the shore, this is from blabla, I indicate my bracelet and my necklace are both from Shein. She tells me 'You shouldn't buy from there..' I say 'Why Not?' .. she silences a bit, I ignore her, keep on eating (fuck off hippy bitch don't tell me where I can and can't buy my shit)
I show her my drivers license that I got recently im like 'Look how disheveled I look in my DL picture lol' (My face was heavier and my beard was untrimmed and I was smoking at the time lol) . She lols, shows me her DL . I'm like 'daamn ' (she looked damn hot in the DL, leaner and not all that alt accessories and clothing and piercings lol). anyway I give it back.. shes like 'oh I shouldn't have shown you that you know my address'. I make a face 'lmao what I don't care about that..'... anyway I finish, she finishes a bit after. I tell her 'you done?' 'yea' ... then after a bit she suggests 'you wanna split' I say 'sure' . we split the check, leave.
Post-Dinner
Grab her hand again. After walking 1 min to the intersection.
M: Let's go back to my place.
H: It's too early for that / I just met you (something like that I forget exactly you know the typical shit)
M: Alright.. (we keep walking around the neighborhood)
At this point I get more aggressive with my kino, which I always do. Green lights all around. While walking I grab the back of her head and stroke her tuff of hair (writing about it, I didn't realize how uh... I guess forward this might seem in a sense? But it came out naturally because I am a big kino guy). She didn't pull back at all, just said 'my hair is probably sweaty' or some such. Not bad. We keep walking, talking about random shit, just having fun making her laugh (in retrospect it's not a purposeful and focused conversation, which is a big weakness of mine tbh.. I don't have a structure in mind) . I switch from handholding to holding the side of her waist or, just around her shoulder for a bit, switch it up you know, no pull back from her.
At some point she asks me if I have IG (I have a IG with a bunch of international travel stuff I've done (not necessarily good pictures of my face and body etc but they are interesting pics and personal and and they are around the world.. DHV I guess? , I only got 400 followers cuz I never bothered maxxing it but anyway) I say yea
H: You can add my IG to see my art...
M: ..your personal IG?....
H: .. No...
M: ..what you're not gonna give me ur personal IG..hmm
(here I was just thinking a loud... I thought wait, she's still so guarded lmao, so I just expressed it..idk if good or not to show my dissapointment but that's the behavior I've been leaning into showing it on the date)
anyway we get to the end of the burb, and we turn back...
H: 'physical touch must be your love language'
M: 'uhhhh idk. What's your love language?'
H: ' I haven't figured that out yet' ....
At some point i give her ass a little squeeze too, no pullback or anything. Patriots in control. She squeezes my left love handle. I joke around a bit about it ('hey watch it. I'm saving that for if I miss a meal...') giggles etc.
I started to tell her 'what if guys had really favorable fat storage places... like what if it all went to our biceps' ... I was pausing a bit, because the way I was going about it, I was gonna imply that she was overweight (lol), so I was trying to rephrase my thoughts. Anyway that lead me into a topic how its easier for girls to get a six pack than guys, at the same body fat , and getting rid of leg fat is the hardest for girls, and how she has good potential and if I show her to how workout she would look incredible. H: Yeah you could send me a workout
M: No I mean together....
Then we walked a little more, basically again the edge of the fucking interesting part of this suburban center.. At this point I felt I had enough wandering around.
M: Alright, I'm gonna back to my place and listen to some music.
H: Oh ...
M: You coming?
H: No blablabla
M: (I have both hands interlocked swinging her in and out, cat and mouse shit, I bring her in, up close face to face) 'You sure?'
H: Yeah Im sure.... (I stare her down, she stares me down. peak tension)
M: I think I do another 'positive?' or something, no dice. But this time I stay up close.
M: Alright, when are you free next
H: I don't know I'm a busy girl I need to check my schedule (lol ok bitch wtv)
Now here I was debating if I should give her a peck or not. I definitely didn't want to do a make out or anything (I am learning from this forum) but I thought just a little peck would be cute.
So I went in that
little bit for a peck. But SHE PULLED BACK FROM IT (she probably thought I was gonna try for a makeout, why would anyone pull away from a little peck? ) immediately when I felt that, I let her go and did a 'takeaway M: OH WOW ok....... H: (I forget what was said here)
I didn't say anything else. But lol it would have been weird to like leave it at that right...? Anyway she said some sorta goodbye then I eventually said
M: ok c ya...
And then I drove home.
| 8/5/2025 20:05 | H: | Hey get home safe thanks for a fun night |
| 8/5/2025 20:33 | M: | just got home (I was home 15 min ago just didnt even feel like texting. but figured id send a final msg before I just ignore her a bit) |
| 8/5/2025 20:34 | H: | Aww good me too!! Same time lol |
| 8/5/2025 20:44 | H: | to “ 3125 ” |
dunno what to do next... I guess just invite her over directly in a few days and if shes not interested, fuck it? idk
Thoughts
I did notice a lot of IOIs, or at least, maybe its basic stuff that I should have disclosed. Like she asked if I had roomates (nah I'm not gonna have roomates) etc..
This is the first 'field report' I've jotted down, I am not good at remembering conversations (even if it happened like a few hours ago..) maybe that will get better.
