Recent Facebook convo

[Richard]

Me: Hey! Good afternoon, happy to be out of incarceration? (She was grounded until today)
Her: Ehh I guess haha
Me: Would you rather be in the house then lol?
Her: Less drama.
Me: Yeah, that's true. Until cabin fever sets in
Her: Yeah I guess
Me: Got any big fourth of July plans? (Changing the subject because of the I guess)
Her: We usually have a party
Me: So you're a party girl then?
Her: I guess
Me: Always with the I guess? By the way, what's your nationality? (Letting her indirectly know of her I guess, and changing the subject again.)
Her: I'm Mexican
Me: Say it with some enthusiasm lol ! your family offer that Mexican flair at your parties?
Her: Yepp
Me: Ohhhhh ! That's awesome ! So your quinceanera must've been crazy?
Her: Not crazy. Elegant but big.
Me: Really? Tell me a little bit more.
Me (15 minutes later.) Unless that's a little too personal
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
No response from her after that, I assume she logged off because she had something else to do. I'm finding it hard to build rapport, though I'm attempting to start to by bringing up the quinceanera... Any tips guys?

 

[PinotNoir]

Wow, I'd like to hear some more veteran users' thoughts on this.

To me, it looks like her mood was just dead; she was depressed about something:

Me: Would you rather be in the house then lol?
Her: Less drama.

Here, I probably would have asked about it. "What's bothering you?"

I think this was just bad luck. Anyway, don't try to build rapport on facebook anymore; just like texts, use it mainly for setting up meetups. In rare cases, I think rapport via text is fine now, but most of the time, just don't do it.

Even with focusing on the above, this is a little tricky because of her mood; it probably would have been better to leave her alone. "I see that you're a little down; talk later?"

But, here's something you could have tried:

Me: Hey! Good afternoon, happy to be out of incarceration?
Her: Ehh I guess haha
Me: Would you rather be in the house then lol?
Her: Less drama.
Me: Hmmm, well, I can think of some drama-free places much better than the house. Coffee shops, salsa dancing class, movie theater, art museum, chill acoustic concert... You like any of that?

If her reply is "no," then end it, else move ahead to what she likes.

The good thing about your conversation was that you stayed positive, in spite of her cold and depressing responses. If you don't know someone well, it can be very difficult to change their mood over text alone, so don't kick yourself over it.

 

[Ross]

I think this was just bad luck. Anyway, don't try to build rapport on facebook anymore; just like texts, use it mainly for setting up meetups. In rare cases, I think rapport via text is fine now, but most of the time, just don't do it.

PinotNoir hit it on the head. Much easier to tell someone just to cut out the e-conversations than to try and revamp text game. Overall, when dealing with women, I'd suggest using less yes/no questions which close off the conversation. Some examples are:

- What are you up to?
- How's life now that you're out of incarceration?
- What are you going to do now that you're free?

When you let her simply answer yes/no to everything it becomes easier to just do that. Just a mental note to keep in mind when talking to people in general.

 

[Richard]

I could tell her mood was dead, and thought about ending the conversation short instead of pressing forward, I'm going to give it a few days and hit her back up. And yes, both of you gave excellent examples, I tend to learn best by example. I'm trying my hardest to get her number so I can call it quits with Facebook, if I can establish a date or meeting outside of the Internet, I'll definitely be able to move things along. Thanks for the advice guys, I'll keep everything you said in mind.

 

[Richard]

And while I know not to ask yes or no questions from my experience just talking with everyone, I think the fact that it was an E-conversation changed my mentality and I completely forgot. Re-reading the conversation makes me feel like the yes-no questions made it too dry , and just blah in general.

 

[Light]

Two rules when you're in the E-Game:

1) Timing ! - If she sounds busy, depressed, distracted etc - she probably is! If she doesn't give you a good vibe in her first two responses, then you need to trust your instinct and leave asap. Unless she was the first to contact you, in which case, she has something on her mind, and wants someone to listen, and that means listen. Less talk and less questions asked.

2) Only practice on girls you don't care about. The results means nothing to you, and its experience you want.

 

[Richard]

I agree with you, but currently, this is legitimately my only way to contact this girl, I'm trying to procure a new way to talk to her, i,e. Phone number, establishing a meeting in real life, just something that isn't Facebook. But, you're definitely right Light.

 

[Nova]

Me: Hey! Good afternoon, happy to be out of incarceration? (She was grounded until today)
Her: Ehh I guess haha
Me: Would you rather be in the house then lol?
Her: Less drama.
Me: Yeah, that's true. Until cabin fever sets in
Her: Yeah I guess
Me: Got any big fourth of July plans? (Changing the subject because of the I guess)
Her: We usually have a party
Me: So you're a party girl then?
Her: I guess
Me: Always with the I guess? By the way, what's your nationality? (Letting her indirectly know of her I guess, and changing the subject again.)
Her: I'm Mexican
Me: Say it with some enthusiasm lol ! your family offer that Mexican flair at your parties?
Her: Yepp
Me: Ohhhhh ! That's awesome ! So your quinceanera must've been crazy?
Her: Not crazy. Elegant but big.
Me: Really? Tell me a little bit more.
Me (15 minutes later.) Unless that's a little too personal

Well its hard to know exactly why her responses lacked any enthusiasm. It could be a number of things, and its hard to know exactly which things without knowing your exact situation with this girl.

To me, there was nothing really wrong with how you started the conversation, and from the start she wasn't giving you anything, which tells me she's not all that into you. Has she met you before? Maybe your vibe was off.

But of course I could be wrong and you could have given off a perfect vibe with her, and she was just depressed about something and thus didnt really feel much like talking. There are so many possible variables its hard to tell.

In terms of the conversation, she didn't make it easy for you dude, and that sucks when chicks do that. But when they give you nothing, I never tend too blunt about bringing up her lack of enthusiasm, I tend to persist but in a very different way to how you did.

Me: So you're a party girl then?
Her: I guess
Me: Always with the I guess? By the way, what's your nationality? (Letting her indirectly know of her I guess, and changing the subject again.)

I woulda just asked her more about her 'party girl' personality, to really try and get something out of her. That kind of question could have potential for some nice sex frames/innuendo etc etc. I know sometimes you feel when a chick gives you nothing that you should straight away move onto a different question, but sometimes persisting will yeild results.

Her: I'm Mexican
Me: Say it with some enthusiasm lol ! your family offer that Mexican flair at your parties?

Again I wouldnt have gone with the 'say it with some enthusiasm' - just feels too much like your getting pissed at her not playing ball. Just the second part was enough, and was actually the right thing to say. I wouldn't tried to stay on track a bit further about the subject of her being mexican after that.

 

[Richard]

Playing around online with conversations is a bit tough, it's so much easier for me in real life, online chatting is seriously throwing me off. About this particular girl though, I'm actively trying to get her interested in me, and I'm not quite sure how to go about it online. On the street, or in the mall, anywhere else I can use body language, read it, get to know her through her body language alone, I can make her laugh through tones of voice, framing messages in a neutral tone specifically to get her interested are quite hard, I love a good puzzle, and I love to solve problems, but this one is ridiculous. I'm doing what I do with texting though, she didn't respond well the first time, so, I'm giving it 2 days before I message her again, in that time, I'll see what happens.
Thanks for the advice everyone, much appreciated,
Richard.

 

[Nova]

Playing around online with conversations is a bit tough, it's so much easier for me in real life, online chatting is seriously throwing me off. About this particular girl though, I'm actively trying to get her interested in me, and I'm not quite sure how to go about it online. On the street, or in the mall, anywhere else I can use body language, read it, get to know her through her body language alone, I can make her laugh through tones of voice, framing messages in a neutral tone specifically to get her interested are quite hard, I love a good puzzle, and I love to solve problems, but this one is ridiculous. I'm doing what I do with texting though, she didn't respond well the first time, so, I'm giving it 2 days before I message her again, in that time, I'll see what happens.
Thanks for the advice everyone, much appreciated,
Richard.

I honestly know exactly what you mean. I don't really enjoy online dating. I do it sometimes when im bored, but it always feels very robotic. There is SO much you can't add into your interactions with the girls you are speaking with. Its why your picture is so important online. When I date online I tend to screen hard for girls looking for fun to be honest. I

When it comes to texting dude, try to use it mainly for organizing meet ups. Dont waste your time flirting with her over texts, every guy does that. If I was you I would just say lets give it one last go, see what happens.

Organize a meet up with her. Somewhere simple, just a coffee or something. Screen her logistics for that day. If shes clear ask her to come back to yours, escalate, and you know the rest. If shes not clear, say a nice goodbye, text her the next day, ask her to come over to yours. Just give it a go you might suprise yourself.

 

[Richard]

Explain a little bit more about the last thing you said, give it one last go. Sadly, I don't have her number, I'd just prefer texting to Facebook, if things don't work out with this one then I'm deleting my Facebook, I'll be off Facebook one way or another. If I get her number, I'm deleting my Facebook as well. My approach to this was trying to build rapport a little bit just so she feels a bit more comfortable, then asking to meet up somewhere, so, are you suggesting just outright asking her for a meet?

 

[Richard]

Well guys, I hit her up again, tried to get her out for a walk, and she didn't respond. At that moment, I decided to sever all my ties to her over Facebook, but sent her a final message along the lines of letting her know that "It's hard to find a woman with her qualities, and when I do, it's natural that I try and get to know that person. But it didn't seem like she was interested, and that nobody gets everybody. That I wanted to get to know her, and that over Facebook, everything was so cut and dry and not my style, and that I couldn't show her the real ME over Facebook and that's why I wanted to meet her outside of the cyber world." She read that and said something along the lines of "I wasn't bothering her with my messaging, just, her somewhat boyfriend hasnt been allowing her to read or respond to most messages." (DOES THIS SOUND LIKE A VALID REASON, OR A POLITE REJECTION?) I then said "I was deciding to delete my Facebook, and that if she ever changed her mind and wanted to get to know me better, she could reach me at XXX-XXX-XXXX" She said she couldn't take my number down because she "had to give her phone up," I would assume either to the somewhat boyfriend or her parents. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. What are your guys' opinions on the matter?
I.E. - THIS IS MY LAST TIME DOING ANYTHING ONLINE! lol , day game on the street is much easier for me

 

[Light]

Shes lying.
A terrible liar I must say lol
Move on

 

[Richard]

Exactly as I thought lol, out of sight, out of mind =)

 

[MisterX]

but sent her a final message along the lines of letting her know that "It's hard to find a woman with her qualities, and when I do, it's natural that I try and get to know that person. But it didn't seem like she was interested, and that nobody gets everybody.

In future don't do that. It's SOOOOO BAD


You may think this sounds good but in reality you're telling her:

- I'm desperate.
- I don't find girls like you, so you are a high one
- I'll put you on a pedestal.
- I don't meet and date much.
- Even if I date and meet other girls, you're better than what I usually get.
- I'm emotionally invested.
- I have low self esteem and think you aren't interested in me.



Those are all very bad things to think, no to mention say to a girl.


You should read Chase's posts on Pre-selection, Abundance mentality and Absolute abundance






And remember your mind set should be:

- I'm the prize.
- I'm and amazing, sexual, cool guy.
- This girl is lucky I'm giving her some of my attention.
- She should try and not f#ck things up with me, cause she won't meet a sexier, cooler, more amazing guy than me.
- If she scr#ws things it's her loss.
- If she doesn't like you you think to yourself: "what the hell is wrong with her? is she like brain damaged or hit her head really hard? Oh well no time for this cr@p, here's a hotter girl that likes me and wants to f#ck my brains out.."
- There are literally thousands of girls that are hotter than her that I'm gonna meet and sleep with.

And the most important one is :
- She isn't special or one of a kind. She's just a regular girl. One out of billions.






If those things are true, make them true:
-work out
-dress sexy
-learn sexy body-language
-become a really sexy man
-get good with girls(approach and sleep with lots of girls)


It's not sth that just comes to you. You have to really believe those things I listed above, like believe them in the inner most bottom places of your mind. There should be no hesitation that you're the sexiest man in s 100 mile radius!

If you don't believe that - you spend some time and become the sexiest man in a 100 mile radius(look at photos of any actor or singer pre-hollywood. They are all average looking at best, but give them some nice hair-cuts, some weight lifting to put some muscle on/lose some fat, give them sexy clothes, sexy body-language, sexy voice and BAAAMMM - sex symbol. And all those things are things you as a man can work on. just read the posts on the site ). Then you'll believe it.

And this website is great for making you the sexiest, most attractive man you can become



Take care.

 

[Richard]

I hold those mentalities, but have no idea how to work them over cyberspace. As I've said, its so easy for me to approach a girl on the street and talk, play with sexual tension, and get her invested, but no idea how online, and that was the problem. Even if I'm the sexiest man in a 100 mile radius, she could never find out over Facebook, in person I can "sell myself" so to speak, but online is another story. Besides, I'm done talking with her, deleted my Facebook, and moved on. Met a few new girls at my friends party tonight, what a happy fourth of July I had!