Having had 10 years spread among 3 different relationships, with my PICK UP game skills up to snuff (as opposed to my LTR game)
When I knew nothing about PUA, I didn't think about the girl, I just expected her to want to stay in it.
After PUA, I was using all my (then) pick up knowledge within the framework of the relationship.
Every joke, routine, scenario, script, situation, trick, hack, tip, technique, technology.
These chicks made me their "novelty" button, even if they didn't realize it. They didn't ask for it explicitly, but to keep this chick "acting right" I had to think for her, for me, and for us.
In that respect, it's like the Blue Pill community says, "you have to keep dating your wife/gf"
Every dealing has to be like the first time. And when she gets bored, it's because you, the man, are not treating her like it's a first date.
What you're asking, how to recognize tests? THAT'S A TON OF WORK.
You are doing more for the chick, trying to keep her in the right emotional frame of mind/right loving behavior, than you ever did at the beginning. Instead of the relationship making your life easier, IT'S MAKING YOUR LIFE HARDER.
Cause on top of monitoring her moods, thoughts, actions, reactions - you've got your own stuff to do. And a lot of what you're doing for the TWO OF YOU in the long term, is getting messed up by having to deal with her SHORT TERM BS. You gotta choose between dealing with her emotional meltdowns, silent treatment, instead of getting ahead at work or building a side hustle.
And you cannot screen ahead of time for this stuff. The most level headed/even keeled chick will get set off for some cockamamie reason, and like a toddler with a broken toy, she comes to you to "fix it". Either fix it, or hear her bitch about it. I've dealt with this type of thing from strippers and waitresses, to nurses and teachers, to MBAs and Lawyers. That's what women are, and that's how they/society think about the day to day reality of relationships.
So let's take a bird's eye view of this situation.
As a man in a relationship, what do you bring to the female?
- ATTENTION
- Time
- Caring
- Energy and Effort
- Resources - monetary and otherwise
- Protection.
What does she bring?
- Affection
- Sex
- Cooking and Cleaning - sometimes
But what does she also bring?
- Her problems for you to solve
- Sometimes she's the problem
The blue pill idea of long term relationship/marriage is basically a partnership where you help each other achieve personal and mutual goals.
The blue pill reality of a LTR is one where the man does everything he possibly can, and she kinda does what she wants.
So women expect you to pass tests, even if the tests are unconscious.
Why? Because for whatever reason, you value her happiness, the peace in the relationship, more than your own.
Now the Patrice O'Neal answer to this was to make yourself happy first. Focus on your own happiness. It's a nice answer from a comedian tbh. It would help a lot of folks, initially.
But the real answer?
That broad needs to be worried about you, about what you're gonna do. And you should be giving her things to do, and creating a situation where her happiness and the relationship depends on your happiness and serving you.
I've only gotten this treatment from women at WORK. I'm still working out how to do this in an LTR.
It's a paradigm shift. Instead of trying to anticipate her tests, you need to be throwing tests, bags packed, and one foot out the door.
These chicks feel that we are lucky to be with them - No, my brother, any broad I've ever dealt with was lucky to be with me.
I didn't understand my worth, my value, until after all these failed relationships.
Put these chicks into your service. Have them living up to your ideals.
And if they don't want to play ball, WALK.
Cause no PUA gets into a relationship with a chick, because he can't get another chick. He gets into one, because he wants to be with that chick in particular. But if she's not respecting her position, more trouble than she's worth, let someone else deal with her.
I'm kinda heated..so maybe read this with that in mind.
WIA