Recommendation

[YETD]

Hi everyone,

I think it's time to change my life. I'm 32 years old, almost a virgin, good career, a creepy sometimes, have social anxiety, bad communication sills (afraid to talk, even with my family).
What action plan do you recommend to follow in order to get good with girls at my age? Do I focus on fundamentals first like this article says https://www.girlschase.com/content/day-g ... ndamentals?

Thanks

 

[ray_zorse]

Hi YETD, welcome to the boards.

Your story is not an unusual one. Well, if you're 32 you probably have a bit of social experience, even if there were plenty of bad experiences there's gotta be some good in there too. I discovered GC at age 38 and I honestly wasn't THAT bad socially, just suffering an extreme lack of seduction knowledge and also basic social knowledge, like about deep diving or qualifying oneself or leaning into conversations or scanning.

Once you have the information about what to do/aim for, it's relatively easy to make changes provided you are consistently working on some aspect or other. It just takes time and practice. We call this "outer game" -- managing outside appearances and people's perceptions/impressions of you. If you are additionally suffering social anxiety (or perhaps, feelings of low self esteem/worth, etc) we call this "inner game" -- your mental outlook and attitude which indirectly (but very tangibly) affects your results socially and as a seducer. There's no exact step-by-step to fixing your inner game (as there is for outer game thanks to Chase and other authors' wonderful books, videos and articles), but we have plenty of useful techniques, and the good news is that inner game tends to fix itself as you tackle outer game and start to become a sexy-ass motherfucker and collect positive experiences (such as beautiful women worshipping your cock and trying to tie you down into a relationship so they can get more of it, haha).

The best place to start is here. I also recommend to buy Chase's ebook "How to make girls chase" and particularly read the section on fundamentals, I spent a month upgrading my fashion and adding things like jewellery, cologne, boots, hair, joining a gym etc, before I had the balls to tackle the newbie assignment and although I would've been better off starting to approach immediately, it was still time well spent, gathered a lot of compliments from friends and family, and got my brain into seduction mode while I gathered up the balls. Although it is easy really, first days all you have to do is say "hi" and then walk away. This is the kind of thing I still do to get in the mood if I feel anxious about approaching (everyone gets it a bit).

Ray

 

[Bboy100]

YETD,

Ray is right. But I'd like to add one more thing on to here which I've recently come to realize through personal experience and is unfortunately, not addressed very often if ever on this website:

Its important to identify why you're feeling socially anxious. Do you have what's called "approach anxiety"- the fear of talking to a new women? Or do you feel socially anxious in all social situations? Approach Anxiety is perfectly normal, and is addressed by taking action and doing the stuff we talk about on this website. However, if you feel socially anxious in general, I would get that handled first.

I started out in an even worse situation than you. I was a virgin, and hadn't even gone on a first date yet. Now, I'm about a year into learning this stuff, and I've made immense progress. I'm probably 100x better at seducing girls than I was back then. But I still have a lot of social anxiety and feel shitty in social situations pretty regularly. Getting laid does NOT help with this.

My point is, social anxiety is sometimes within the scope of the stuff we learn here, but in other cases, its not. It really depends on how serious yours is, and what it's causes are. I'm not saying don't do GC stuff, but I also highly recommend talking to a doctor or medical professional about it too.