Reconsidering relationship

[Anonymous]

For better understanding my current situation, I'm writing something about my life below.

I'm 22 and and while on my high school, I felt in love with my classmate for more than 5 years, even if she never even kissed me. I thought then that maintaining a friendship with her would be the best way to get her. Ok, I was 16 then. The problem was, I just couldn't get her from my mind so I ended up dreaming and fantasizing about her for more than five years. This long period ended at the begining of this year, so I could move on. I started to read a lot about how to get girls and finally came here, at girlschase and I knew I found everything I'll ever need.
After some months of reading and getting ready to pick up some girls, I accidentally ended up in a night club and picked up girl I thought is way out of my league (I read about giving girls a number later). I took her home and even if I didn't managed to sleep with her, I bedded her the second time when I invited her for a lunch (at my apartement, we cooked it together). She was 18.
We ended up in a relationship (it's 5 months now) and it's been really great. I learned a lot about sex (did I mention that I was virgin when I met her?), dating and we both even know each other's familly. We also made plans together and we're currently working on moving into another country (for my master's and hers undergraute studies). So, to sum this up, I have a great relationship I'm quite content with.

But there's one thing that I just can't get out of my mind. Not long after we met, we were talking together quite personally and she admitted that she already slept with 5 guys (she told me, so the number could be higher). This was something I wasn't very happy for, but I didn't see her as my girlfriend, but as somebody I will sleep with for the rest of summer vacances and then it's over (she was in my city just for summer), so I just get over it. Then we ended up together and this weekend when I was in her place (we have temporary long distance relationship, but just to the end of this year), we had an casual conversation when she admmited that she had slept with two guys (her classmates) on the party to celebrate end of high school. I learned on girlschase not to judge people (especially girl's forgotten past), so I played it cool, but I just dont know how to ger over it.
The problem I see and she apparently not is that she behaves like it's normal to get drunk and fuck with two other guys, but I don't think so. In this casual conversation we were also talking about doing some assingment from school and she told me that she would probably sleep with a guy that would help her to make her assingment done, if she liked her and she was single. Like kind of a trade.
I just dont know what to think about it. Is she testing me somehow? I don't think so. Is she just so brutally honest with me because she know I would not judge her? I don't know if I should be happy that she told me these things, or be mad at her.

I've been thinking about it and to be honest, I would probably be not so obsessed with what she has done if I did similar things in my life as she did. I also know that when I'm with her I will never build my pickup technique I wanted to (yes, I ended up with first girl I picked up after reading girlschase), but we also made plans together and it feels so great to be with her. I'm also aware that I did NO preselection and set NO expectations ahead of this relationship and this is why I'm writing this post on grilschase forum.

I want some advices guys, what should I do? Should I just accept the way she is and what he did (and her opinions about sex). Is this normal for a 18 year's old pretty girl and I'm just crazy about this?

Another thing, I admitted her that she was my first and she coulnd believe it. Even if she was with 5+ men before me, she still tells me how long I last in bed, how good I fuck her. I really care about her orgasm and I also implement some sex techniques from this site to our sex life. But I don't know if she's telling me these things because every woman is telling these things to her man or am I really that good? With no previous knowledge and just 5 monhts of practicing sex I just don't know what to think.

Thank a lot.
Martin

 

[ray_zorse]

Haha dude don't take things so seriously

If you fucked two girls in the same night then you'd be pretty damn pleased with yourself no?

She's a great girl for acknowledging the truth which is she wants lots of sex, just like any other girl out there.

Also, most girls would get the homework done and reward him with flirting, attention and no action... having said that he'd have to be a pretty hard case to drive that kind of bargain and hold her to it, such a guy can get sex anyway so it's a hypothetical situation with no real relevance to the real world.

As to your performance in bed she's probably just building you up with flattery, next time just tell her to put a lid on it and stop bullshitting you like a Thai hooker, the last thing you want is to be seeking validation from your chick, IDGAF is better

If you want to actually be good in bed you have to screw a lot of different women, get bored with meat and potatoes intercourse and try new things to change it up a bit.

However, you can pretty much guarantee that whatever you want to try they won't be down... "pretty please can I fuck you in the arse?" "no way, get real..." so your only real option is to practice compliance-building and dominance, when you get the hang of this you can pretty much run things the way you want and they'll have a much better time because (a) you are better at planning good experiences for them than they are (b) they just want to be dominated, it excites them/gets them wet.

Don't forget to throw in a bit of dirty talk during sex... try it with your current GF (and don't be timid about it). If she tells you to shut up and stop ruining the moment for her, then she's the dominant one and you probably can't easily recover from this.

Hope that helps.
cheers, Ray

 

[Franco]

Challenger,

This is a bit murky after reading it... especially this part:

This was something I wasn't very happy for, but I didn't see her as my girlfriend, but as somebody I will sleep with for the rest of summer vacances and then it's over (she was in my city just for summer), so I just get over it. Then we ended up together and this weekend when I was in her place (we have temporary long distance relationship, but just to the end of this year)

So you're saying you didn't see her as your "girlfriend" yet you two were in a "temporary long distance relationship." That really sounds like the most "cloudy" and "grey" description of a relationship that you can give. To me, it sounds like you didn't make it very clear that you wanted the relationship to be exclusive. So if you didn't make that clear, then she feels like what she did wasn't necessarily "wrong," even if she's worried that you might get upset about it. If she legitimately thought what she was doing was wrong, she probably wouldn't have brought it up to you. So in a way, she's probably testing you to see how you would react to such a situation because she knows you two aren't actually exclusive. She wants to see if you'll be "chill" about things and allow her to sleep with other guys if you two are not "together."

The other thing to be concerned about here is that you're dating an 18-year-old girl who is obviously into drinking and partying, which means she's literally just starting to enter a phase where she's going to do a LOT of drinking/partying and sleeping with new guys. At that age, you're playing with fire trying to tie down a girl who isn't very conservative and not looking to quickly get married.

Anything about her making promises on moving out to a university with you to study I would take with a VERY small grain of salt. Girls who are that age don't understand the promises they make when they make them, and they end up falling back on a lot of their earlier promises because their emotions change so erratically. So with that being said, I would just try to take everything she says in stride and make it seem like it's not a big deal. You're cool with everything, and you're cool with who she is and what she does. At least that way she'll always have a very positive view of you as a sexual, non-judgmental man that she can always rely on to set the bar for how a man should be. At the same time, I really wouldn't invest too much effort into this girl because it inevitably will lead to heartbreak on your end.

As a guy who was fortunate enough to pick up the first girl you approached, it's likely that you still have a lot to learn, and I would probably get back into the field as soon as possible and start meeting new women so you can develop your abundance mentality. =)

- Franco