Calls & Texts Recovering from Slip-up on Texts

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys,

I'm not really attached to this girl in particular, but I slipped up on texting a bit. This is the girl from my recent FR:

Her: Would you wanna go on a hike someday and take sexy photos?;p
Me: sounds good. but only if youre a good model
Her: Ooo what if I'm a bad model? ;p
Me: guess you'll have to be both and find out ;P (messed up slightly here and should've said something like "it's a secret " - didn't get a reply so waited a day)

My goal at this point is a second date. So I waited a day and sent:

Me: Good morning - enjoyed vibing with you saturday. I guess youre alright
whats your schedule like this week to hit the trails?
Her: Haha just alright? (laughing emoji)
Me: ehh you have potential (tounge-sticking out emoji)
Her: Haha potential for what?
Me: to have a good time on a hike with me this week
but if not, thats fine too

This is where I messed up the second time. It came across a bit cold and uncalibrated. Should've added an emoji or two and said something like "wouldnt you like to know ", but it wasn't awful. My point was to not let her get things off track. No reply yet.

Any good ways to recover from this? I'm fine just waiting and seeing if she reaches out again on her own, but I'm asking for learning purposes (texting has never been my strong point).

Thanks,

NBW

 

[Zoro]

Her: Would you wanna go on a hike someday and take sexy photos?;p

Problem here is the someday. You want to nail down a specific day.

Me: guess you'll have to be both and find out ;P (messed up slightly here and should've said something like "it's a secret " - didn't get a reply so waited a day)

I actually like what you said, and seemed to fit the vibe of the convo well.

Me: Good morning - enjoyed vibing with you saturday. I guess youre alright
whats your schedule like this week to hit the trails?
Her: Haha just alright? (laughing emoji)
Me: ehh you have potential (tounge-sticking out emoji)
Her: Haha potential for what?
Me: to have a good time on a hike with me this week
but if not, thats fine too

Started ok, but might have been better to throw out a specific day (i actually don't do too well with Chase's "whats your schedule like?")

Then you had another good thing going with the potential thing and her playing along, but you whiffed it with the "to have a good time on a hike with me"

Think she wanted you lead on this one, pick a day, have her agree or not agree, and move on. She knows you want to go on a hike, she either is not interested or wants you to pick the day for her.

I would cool it for awhile and then give a specific day next time you text her, but don't have too high of hopes.

All in all, I think your flirty texts are good actually, but setting up a specific time and figuring out her logistics could be better. Maybe a "Saturday's looking pretty good, let me pick you up then" or something.

I personally get frustrated with these kind of situations, you're not the only guy to run into this kind of thing.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Problem here is the someday. You want to nail down a specific day.


I actually like what you said, and seemed to fit the vibe of the convo well.



Started ok, but might have been better to throw out a specific day (i actually don't do too well with Chase's "whats your schedule like?")

Then you had another good thing going with the potential thing and her playing along, but you whiffed it with the "to have a good time on a hike with me"

Think she wanted you lead on this one, pick a day, have her agree or not agree, and move on. She knows you want to go on a hike, she either is not interested or wants you to pick the day for her.

I would cool it for awhile and then give a specific day next time you text her, but don't have too high of hopes.

All in all, I think your flirty texts are good actually, but setting up a specific time and figuring out her logistics could be better. Maybe a "Saturday's looking pretty good, let me pick you up then" or something.

I personally get frustrated with these kind of situations, you're not the only guy to run into this kind of thing.

Ahh, ok that makes sense. Thanks for shedding light on that. Yeah it is a bit frustrating - wouldve been easier if she just answered my question lol. But OK.

So my thought is to give her a couple days (2-3) then text her and say:

Me: "Hey (girls name) - you free this Saturday? Lmk your address and I'll pick you up for a hike"

If no reply, I'll drop it and move on. Hows that sound for a reply?

 

[Skjöldr]

No i think "What's your schedule like this week" and she says blah blah blah and you say "awesome, i'm free on Tuesday afternoon, let's meet at xxxx at 14.00"

 

[Velasco]

So my thought is to give her a couple days (2-3)

she's gonna reply sooner than that. but rather than continue the hiking date frame, i would change the vibe with her over text, to that of a sexual nature. continue some sexual thread you had with her in your FR. then set up the meet so you'll go over to her place to watch a movie.

 

[Zoro]

i would change the vibe with her over text, to that of a sexual nature. continue some sexual thread you had with her in your FR. then set up the meet so you'll go over to her place to watch a movie.

I agree with Big V.

I think one of your strengths is your flirting, and she seems to play along with it. I could see you pulling this off as long as you don't repeat the same mistake of trying to get her to throw out some specifics. This girl seems to want you to do that.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Thanks for the help guys. Ive been racking my brain on how to change it to a sexual vibe and give her plausibility for me to come over to her place. (Did I say texting was my weak point?) Heres the best I came up with:

Me: hey I have the perfect test for a girl like you. (texts her in a day or two)

Her possible response 1: A girl like me?
My response - a girl who acts like she knows what she likes but says a generic line like "Im turned on by a lot of things"

Her response 2: what test?
My response - its a suprise // what do you say we throw on a movie at your place this Saturday, I'll bring popcorn, and we can both take the test (its online). That way no one can cheat.

Her: ok (or denies or whatever)

(btw the test is the bdsm online test)

Yes/no? Lol.

 

[Velasco]

txt 1: hey I have a question for you

txt 2: your not one of those girls who also make weird noises [callback humor to field report] while watching scary movies are you?

txt 3: perfect. have you seen the movie midsommar? its really good. i promise this isn't an excuse so you can cuddle up to me when you get scared haha.

(i prefer a movie that is not mainstream, for higher likelihood of having not watched it. also, the implied frame of this text is that its already be decided she will invite you over to watch it. i also like framing it as a challenge, because this girl responds well to cocky banter).

txt 4: great. how about tomorrow night at 9? (unlikely to be doing anything at this hour, Vs mid afternoon on a saturday when you wanted to go hiking).

next day next: hey what's the address?

expect it to not go this smoothly, but this is just the overall frame you want to be coming from.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Ah okay I see - I have to work on breaking my texts down into pieces like this.

She replied "I dont have time this week tbh" to my last text (above) so I guess I should just give her space then. Dropped the ball this time.

 

[Skills]

Hey guys,

I'm not really attached to this girl in particular, but I slipped up on texting a bit. This is the girl from my recent FR:

Her: Would you wanna go on a hike someday and take sexy photos?;p
Me: sounds good. but only if youre a good model

This is exactly what happens when you try to be mr. pua, mr gymmicky, mr player...

This is a green girl that is interested, time to close, but you overgamed.... All you had to do was in the second sentence sounds good, how about this or that day... where do you live so i can give you directions.... you overgamed...

here is the mistake:

Interested, receptive, green light, buyer

: these girls are attracted to you, and want you. You do not need to be gimmicky or to impress them or any of that crap. All you need to do is in text, facebook, chat(set up a meet asap), in person(escalate). So the strategy here is not to game them they like you already, the strategy is to close them while they are hot and not fuck it up. My analogy, buyer i came here to buy a Mercedes and i want to pay cash for it were do i sign…. Salesman: Listen let me show you the features, and these are the reasons why you need to buy it, lets go and test drive it blah blah blah blah blah blah…. Ends up killing the sale… I sale for living so i have seen this happening multiple times. All he had to do is take out the order and say excellent decision, lets start the paperwork so you can start enjoying your car asap. This will be about 10% of the female population. So out of 100 girls, 10 of them. This women will laugh at your stupid ass jokes, flirt, do sex talk, reciprocate your escalation, ask questions about yourself, give you their number, request you on facebook, give you the look, give you open body language, blush, try to get your attention, cock-block other women, look away right away when they see you, follow you around, find excuses to bump into you, give you proximity, qualify themselves etc….. She is a bit more invested in you than you are in her, good situation to be in, your job is not to fuck it up, simple, and escalate fast and take things sexual. Lately, in my personal game i only deal with these girls, since i am were i want to be when it comes to women, so if you have an abundance of other women, these are the ones you want to look for.(advance level)

 

[Skills]

My goal at this point is a second date. So I waited a day and sent:

Me: Good morning - enjoyed vibing with you saturday. I guess youre alright
whats your schedule like this week to hit the trails?
Her: Haha just alright? (laughing emoji)
Me: ehh you have potential (tounge-sticking out emoji)
Her: Haha potential for what?
Me: to have a good time on a hike with me this week
but if not, thats fine too

This is where I messed up the second time. It came across a bit cold and uncalibrated. Should've added an emoji or two and said something like "wouldnt you like to know ", but it wasn't awful. My point was to not let her get things off track. No reply yet.

Any good ways to recover from this? I'm fine just waiting and seeing if she reaches out again on her own, but I'm asking for learning purposes (texting has never been my strong point).

Thanks,

NBW

Yeah ^ in this second one, you talk normal and you feel her out, the way you went about it was all messed up... You were to eager and exited is not that you were cold.... the subcommunication in this text is that you were too drooling for her... Again to gamey tooo...

just talk normal, when buying temperature high, that is were you bait her, to see the excitement to see you.... I am going to start posting text... there was a good post on texting on sedfast going to see if i find it.....

here you went open, then shit tests with weird qualifications, then close = this is horrible strategy.... Vs open, vibing/flirting, when her buying temperature high, bait, close...

 

[NewBeeWinner]

This is exactly what happens when you try to be mr. pua, mr gymmicky, mr player...

This is a green girl that is interested, time to close, but you overgamed.... All you had to do was in the second sentence sounds good, how about this or that day... where do you live so i can give you directions.... you overgamed...

here is the mistake:

... youre right. I totally see it now. I feel like the biggest idiot on the earth. Im a bit mad at myself for that - omg how could I be so blind!!!

Despite my anger towards myself, I can find comfort in this being a good learning lesson since I dont think Ive had this happen before.

Thank you for that. And yes, if you have any good articles on texting, please let me know!

I guess this is another loss. I really hate messing up like this! I'll just have to cool off and do better with the next girl I guess.

Thanks again,

NBW

 

[Skills]

... youre right. I totally see it now. I feel like the biggest idiot on the earth. Im a bit mad at myself for that - omg how could I be so blind!!!

Despite my anger towards myself, I can find comfort in this being a good learning lesson since I dont think Ive had this happen before.

Thank you for that. And yes, if you have any good articles on texting, please let me know!

I guess this is another loss. I really hate messing up like this! I'll just have to cool off and do better with the next girl I guess.

Thanks again,

NBW

i overgamed a milllion times...is part of learning... Pob has a good compilation of the styles:

4 Simple tips about texting

This is somewhat a practical guide based on my personal experience (plus some good debates on the NextAsf forum). I hope you enjoy it and try it out. On the other hand, feel free to disagree if you…

realpob.wordpress.com

 

[Chase]

@NewBeeWinner,

Not bad in your responses! However, you need to be doing less equivocation and get more to the point.

Examples:

Her: Would you wanna go on a hike someday and take sexy photos?;p​

​

You: I'd hate that. Kidding When are we doing this? Someday 20 years from now or next weekend?​

If she's proposing the date, you don't want to do a bunch of toying around with her. Just figure out when she can do it and nail it down.

If she comes back with something like "I actually can't go hiking this week" then you just propose something more relaxed like @Velasco suggests and see if she's down for that.

When she's testing you:

Her: Haha potential for what? ​

​

You: On-hike sexy picture potential. This was previously established So when are you dragging me up the mountain, that this weekend or when's that happening?​

Bring it back to the main point, and what she's already told you she wanted (to go hiking and take sexy pictures).

After you've already dropped the ball (with the over-gaming instead of giving her what she wanted, a hike with sexy pictures... or even just a chiller date):

Her: I dont have time this week tbh​

​

You: Cool, cool, no worries. Well if your schedule clears up and a hike is too intensive we can also do drinks at this really neat café/bar I know nearby. Or chill out and watch a flick. LMK​

Just float the idea for her that she doesn't have to make hiking the only date with you (in case she started feeling lazy: "Ah, I don't know if I'm really up to go hiking... I know I suggested it so that is probably what he's suggesting, but... ahhhhh"), and let her know she can let you know she wants to do something else, in a low pressure way.

You'll get it.

Just keep your texting simple, keep your eye on the prize, and don't go doing too much silly/flirty stuff, especially with girls who are telling you they want to meet.

Get them out, then be silly/flirty with them in-person if you want to be silly/flirty

Chase

 

[NewBeeWinner]

@Chase,

Thanks for clearing things up for me. Your point on when she's testing me (the "On-hike sexy picture potential." comment) was what was in my head when I sent the text - but obviously that didn't translate into reality right haha. This was definitely a good learning moment!

I shot her the floating cafe/flick text as a follow up (and as it's been a few days) and will see what she says. I'll keep the hardcore flirting in person

Thanks again!

NBW