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reducing your time-to-first-approach metric

foggy

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,532
lol, this has gotta be the nerdiest thing

for me, the first approach of the day is always the hardest to make, and takes me the longest to do. sometimes ill leave my house and be walking around for 30 minutes, suffering from mild approach anxiety before i finally talk to a girl.

after that first one things get a lot easier and i am able to make consecutive approaches way easier.

I was thinking - wow! how much time have i actually wasted due to this? and how many wicked cool girls have i missed out on? probably a lot.

10 minutes or less, thats what i will shoot for from now on. i believe it will give me a slight competitive advantage.

what about you guys? how long does it take you to make your first approach? daygame or nightgame
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

ThePhoenix

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
315
Hey fog,

Haha, if you think that's nerdy, you don't want to know ... some of the shit I come up with re. girls really deserves to be buried somewhere deep in a math text book nobody ever opens. :D

Well, "venue efficiency" overall is a metric I'm generally very concerned with, i.e., how many approaches will I do per hour? It's certainly non-linear in the time spent there. I, too, do find that subsequent approaches come more easily, although it also depends somewhat on how the first one went. Better approaches tend to open me more.

Unfortunately my absolute numbers are a lot worse. Cuz I'm stubborn and will only touch black girls, in a city where they're under 10%. I can spend a few hours, sometimes more, in a busy mall before I get a single approach! But usually, after the first, most often I'll get at least one and possibly two more if I spend another couple hours.

Trying to make the first approach quicker is a logical solution, but it critically assumes 100% control over our fears, and if we had that, well, we'd have more numbers than we'd know what to do with! :) I've certainly tried to, but it's remarkably difficult.

Another solution is to just do longer excursions. Momentum is the reason I strongly prefer to hit the mall from opening to closing time if I possibly can, as much as life often gets in the way of that. Mind you, when I do do that, it doesn't always have the expected improvement, because at least on weekdays, the traffic tends to be light until 4pm or so and probably peaks around 6~7pm, so being there a lot earlier might help generate some momentum for the peak time, but it's just as likely I'm just wandering around. Maybe I could hit on an employee to get warmed up, but these days I tend to avoid employees unless I'm super attracted, simply because that mall is my bread & butter. (Ironically, when I first started, I was deathly afraid of customers, and employees were all I could open.)

And for me, possibly the most effective solution is also extreme....

If I make the critical assumptions that my capacity to approach is linearly related to the presence of opportunity, and that these cities have similar population access (i.e., malls have similar traffic per population density, etc.), then I should theoretically be able to do a LOT more approaches living in Nairobi or Kampala, to the point of probably having a workable learning curve, whereas I'm bashing my head over here over this one girl or that one girl. How accurate are those assumptions, I don't know. I've actually considered that the performance improvement might be more than linear, because of the psychological effects of scarcity vs. abundance. OTOH, maybe there are limits from other factors that would make the improvement less than linear. "How many more women would I approach if 98% of the women around me were African," is a question that has been burning in my mind for months.

Your 30m and 10m figures certainly remind me that at my present level of approach anxiety, I am wasting my time in this country!

Cheers,
Phoenix
 
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