Relationship is changing after 2 years


May 10, 2019
hey guys first of all i'm new here and want to thank everybody for this great content and i hope to find some help for this situation

i'll try to make short we are not in a boyfriend and girlfriends relationship
i've been with this girl for about two years now and at the beginning our relationship was great a lot of sex and warm emotions but a while ago things have changed because she causes a lot of drama and she is almost always tired ( i do appreciate that she do a lot but i think she is just busting in my face and throwing the pressure of other problems on me and whenever i suggested let's do this or that she would almost always say she is tired or she has to do so and so )

a couple days ago she wrote me and saying that she might buy a dildo and stuff because all of her friends have one ( i think she were trying to test me or something i don't know ) and ( i travel a lot so she stays alone and probably horny ) and after that she started to tell how our relationship has changed and it is not like at the beginning , our sex back then was great , she says how we aren't doing anything together and our sex is boring ( we have sex most of the time but in the middle of it she says she can't feel anything and she told me that this happend to her when she were younger so i thought it was normal )and we always stay at home and stuff so she is complaining about this but at the same time she is the one who is always tired and can't do anything and she causes a lot of drama and i think she is blowing the pressure at me and while she says she is tired she traveled to another city and told me that she is going to meet a friend of hers but a couple days later she were flipping through the images and i saw that there were two other guys and then told me how her friend tried to let her take the number of a guy and she refused ( btw she now those guys she told me they were together in a course ) and i didn't tell her anything about it but i now i have doubts because of what she said and i think now she is lying.
and now she is acting cold and in couple days i'll be traveling and we spoke about that i'll go to hers after i come , but today she wrote me and said that she has an exam the next day and she might not have time and she must study so we agreed to meet and eat in the city center then i'll go home because i have some stuff i need to take them from her.
now i'm thinking about having this conversation with her and tell that we aren't going to make it work ( while we spoke a while ago she told how she is thinking that we need to take time but she want to still write and tell me about her problems and stuff and i said it might not work like this she loves me and misses me and i think she is scared that our relationship started to look like girlfriend and boyfriend and i felt it and addressed it and the after that she told that she loves me and misses me )

now at this time i'm thinking about things that might have caused and i think they are things i did
i did actually gave in to her a lot because she had a lot of pressure and i thought i would take it into consideration and go to her place and stuff and take care of her and i didn't think about it this way until now because she refused many times to come to mine because she is too tired for that and that her place is more comfortable which is correct and after this period she started to do those stuff

now what i'm thinking to do is to tell her that we are over before she does and i actually love her and misses her but i don't allow someone to break things with me ( because she is too scared to do it ) and because i think she does but there is a thing that her behavior changes a little when i'm around her and i like being around her she does love sex and sucks and everything and that how our relationship is

what do you recommend guys that i do taking into consideration that she dosen't want a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship neither do i and i'm confused while she says that she dosen't t feel the sex and she dosen't want to go out but now she says its me
should i try to save thing ( i think they might be saved when i mix things up and do a lot of stuff together ) but i also think that she will come up with those excuses about her study and being tired and she does really love me and says that our love isn't enough
so i hope this all makes sense


Staff member
Nov 14, 2012
Southern California

I didn't read through your entire post since it's quite long, but here's an article worth reading that may answer some (or most) of your questions:

- Franco