Relationship Rewind?

[longerjt]

Hey all, hope you are doing well and progressing in your game.

I am working on my recovery per my previous posts. It is amazing how you learn through hard knocks and look back on what you learn and say - "If only I knew!" So many mistakes and I hate that I wasted opportunities. But I also am learning abundance and beginning to forma new paradigm.

However I do have a question for our moderators and members - what do you think of Relationship Rewind? I have researched it, saw Zac and Chase's prior minimal comments, and studied it further online from various sources. Much of it is completely counter to what GC teaches, while much of it also aligns. I am also a student of Shark and his teaching was also counter to Relationship Rewind.

Has anyone tried it? What are your thoughts? What was your experience?

Thanks and happy hunting

 

[Franco]

longerjt,

It might help to give a brief definition of what "Relationship Rewind" is for people who don't know exactly what that is (like myself).

- Franco

 

[longerjt]

Franco -

Sure thing. Relationship Rewind endorse that you do not take the strategy of breaking contact/cooling off in order to build desire, but embraces the LJBF status and builds from their using anchors that were set in the past. It helps you assess what stage of relationship you are in (Bliss, Switch, Drift or Death’s Door). It also helps you to determine what the reason is for the distancing and then provides strategy and tactics to rekindle the relationship using anchors and carefully thought through execution, intended to utilize psychology/emotional dependency. There is quite a bit of explanation to go along so you clearly understand why you are doing what you do. If you search some of the online digital libraries it is pretty easy to find more information on it.

My concern is it seems at times to take a Beta approach to communication and tactics. Hence, I am trying to see what others who may have tried it think. I am in the perfect place to execute it but am concerned about it's effectiveness, especially given the fact I have been quiet for 2 weeks. I have 3 weeks to go before I see this girl and need to commit to a strategy. We all know that there is a significant risk of not getting her back depending on how you blew it (even Chase admits in his piece on how to get a girl back - that he wrote as response to my question on this very girl; I still f'd it up but hey I am learning). RR says you can almost always win her back - just might take time.

I am trying to validate that before committing one direction or not and potentially blowing it. I have the rest of my game very focused as working hard on it. Communication is the key question. What do I do? RR uses much similar thinking to GC otherwise.

Thanks!

 

[Franco]

longerjt,

I don't really know the context of your situation, but it probably makes a difference as to whether or not this advice has any merit. In your situation, are you dealing with a girlfriend? Or a girl you've already slept with? Or merely a girl you've gone on a date and/or made out with? If it's the latter, then you probably don't really have any emotional anchors to work with since there is no sexual bond between you two.

Without diving in and reading the material, it already sounds like it is suggesting that you can recover from any situation with a girl given time and patience. That is certainly not the case, and I know because I've tried to do that several times myself. Chase emphasizes doing everything right from the beginning and continuing to do things right all the way through a relationship so that you never have to worry about a situation where you are trying to win a girl's heart back -- in most cases, she'll be the one trying to get you back when you eventually decide it's time to end things.

My concern is it seems at times to take a Beta approach to communication and tactics.

Based on what you've given me, I'll have to agree with your above assessment for the most part. It sounds like it might be a lot of baloney "traditional PUA" style techniques to convince you that you can achieve something if you execute a series of techniques effectively. I'm always skeptical of advice like this because it never seems to have the results it claims to have, especially nowadays.

My advice would be to learn how to execute things correctly from the beginning of an interaction with a woman all the way through a relationship -- you'll be in a much better place if you learn to do so.

- Franco

 

[longerjt]

Yes I have slept with her and been involved in a long affair.

Some history on her and I:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1459

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3762

 

[trashKENNUT]

longerjt,

Whaddup my man.

Zac

 

[Franco]

Yes I have slept with her and been involved in a long affair.

Some history on her and I:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1459

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3762

It seems like this has been going on for quite awhile now. Although you may have changed your fundamentals (as referenced in one of those posts), you're still coming from a place of neediness. Fundamentals is only the very beginning of changing yourself and making yourself a better man -- hence the term, "fundamentals." Making yourself physically attractive certainly helps to a degree, but it doesn't matter how attractive you are and what techniques you use; if she can sense that you are coming from a place of neediness, then it all goes downhill from there, my friend.

My advice here would be to cut ties and start seeing other women. This one obviously has a strong hold on you, and if you think that she doesn't know that, then you're definitely kidding yourself. Even if you were to continue this relationship with her, the balance of power in this relationship is not stable, and it will likely continue to be this rocky until it eventually crashes and burns. I think it would be better to abandon ship now and start changing yourself into a better man, inside and out. Remember, although this website does have advice on how to win a girl back, the primary focus of it is to learn how to change yourself and your philosophy in the way you deal with women. Once you internalize the philosophy, put it into practice, and then begin to have success, then situations like the one you're in stop happening to you. You end up in a much better place and with much better women, and neediness goes out the window.

So it might sound like "rough" advice, but I suggest you stop Googling methods of winning a girl's heart back (which will likely be in vain) and start using the material on this website to improve yourself and your life with women. It takes hard work and a lot of time, but a couple years of tough learning for a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment can't be matched.

- Franco

 

[longerjt]

Hey Zac and Franco,

Just working on things. It is hard as I obviously was serious about this one. I had others I have been working and seeing over the same period, and have been out working the field but am in love with her. Now working on abundance but also anticipating how to approach early December in Montreal when I see this girl. I am thinking I play it cool, be aloof and show off my changes. Bought a new suit, shoes, other clothes and plan to accessorize more. Also have the crossfit going and have lost 10+ lbs to date in 5-6 weeks. I am struggling whether I should bed her or not, given the chance. The power is clearly in her court and I think if I don't I will gain a lot of power. I will see her again in January in CA and we always had talked about one of her fantasies and making it come true there (sex on the beach - btw and suggestions on locations?). Should I be so cool and reject opportunities in Montreal? Not approach at all? She gave me the LJBF in an email. HAsn't talked to me since we were last together for a couple days in late September. ONly email and texts. Obviously I need to have my game in place for the next couple face to faces, but unsure how to play it.

Her game is good. I now know she was way better than me at this. But I have learned so much here and from Shark and I plan to be really focused on my game. That said I plan to be in full action in front of her, except won't leave with someone in front of her as I think that might be too much and will piss her off big time.

Franco - I agree with all you said. I am trying to recover but I do think a lot of the problem with this one is she has some auto-rejection as we are both married and she is trying to deal with all that. We both are. I possibly think she is testing me. My marriage is done and I think she wants to see what I will do about it if she is out of the picture. She doesn't want any guilt for my divorce and wants it to be my decision independent of her. I think I cant expect much from her in the future but do still love her. I am also questioning if I could be in a LTR going forward because of some of what she has done (not talking to me about why, breaking up by email, lying to me when talking with her in bed). Pretty pissed at her. Layed in bed with her, she said all of this/us was so real, that she loved me, that I had "all of her" and then two weeks later she ended saying I drove her away (needy) and that she was feeling guilty about us. It happened right after I separated with my wife for a couple days. I think she felt like she was the cause. Honestly I knew my marriage was over when I decided to "step out" so she is wrong on that one. She doesnt know I have seen other women. Like an idiot I denied it when she brought up my travel and being a player (should have evaded it, not denied).

I am working on my marriage (go/no-go). It is pretty much over but I need to wrap it up. Really sucks but just know I don't love this woman ever deeply. Married her cause it seemed right to do at the time. Haven't for a long time. Worst is the family ties and dealing with grown kids.

Thanks for your advice! Would really like to know hat you think about Montreal and CA.

Happy hunting
JT

 

[longerjt]

Franco -

Was just reading you and Chase's comments on "Have Sex with Her Every Time She Comes Over".

I have slept with this girl every time I have seen her in the last 1 1/2 years and I am leaning toward going hard for a hook up in Montreal next week. Whether the relationship continues or not it put's me in a place of power to work from there and going forward, agree?

 

[Anonymous]

"if she can sense that you are coming from a place of neediness, then it all goes downhill from there, my friend".

Find myself agreeing with this more and more. The more i try push to get my ex back, the worse it going.

Was thinking about buying Relationship Rewind, anyone got any advice or review on the book? Don't wanna buy it if its bullshit. Found this relationship rewind review, but seems iffy? http://bebereviews.com/reviews/honest-review-of-relationship-rewind/ ... Would love to hear someone on the forums take of it.

Thanks in advance,