FR remote control pull fail

[Ree]

Cold approached day game,girl called phanice...
My standard operating procedure is the same 
Approach from side....genuine compliment,ask out,followed by number close...
Approaching is something I know..some other steps of seduction are too advanced for me,so for me it is easier to approach lots of girls till I get an attracted one,rather than get a girl who was on the fence attracted....after deleting a lot of numbers from girls on the fence,I was left with two..phanice and jacky.....this is the story of phanice

SENT ICE BREAKER TEXT

Ree:hey phanice excited to be making a new friend 
Phanice:why were you interested about my age,you scared of being friends with a cougar?
How old are you anyway truth please ?

(most girls either just give a short reply to an icebreaker,or they ignore it,seeing this reply told me the girl seemed to be so attracted )

Ree:hahaha...I'm 27 ,you can be my cougar..but only if you cook for me

(i introduce cooking as an attempting to set up plausible deniability for a pull)

Gal:lol,idk how to cook,take a pic of your Id and app me
Ree:we should meet grab that shake soon,what day works best for you?
Gal:what do you do?
Let me see how Nexsweek plays out then I will tell you which day is cool with me
Ree:animator,if you want to be my cougar you will have to treat me well
Gal:I am young enough,you like cougars?
I'm not seeing pic ya id,where is it?
And you haven't answered me,what do you do?i don't want to be friends with a killer
Ree:animator
Gal:what do you mean by animator?
(blonde girls like this are very common in Kenya )
Ree:I make animations
Gal:how?
Ree:it's a long process
Girl:so you don't work,right?
Ree:that's my job,you cougar,you just want a guy who doesn't work.
Girl:lol,I am trying to get to know you.
Ree:all these things we will talk about on date...you can not know someone thru text
Girl:so you want to Have sex with me?


THIS IS WHERE I START BLOWING IT

(this girl is obviously very attracted and probably very horny.
For a girl who is so attracted I like attempting to skip steps,instead of a date I wanted to attempt a emote control pull....this is where I just pull a girl via text,without having to date her first.
    I have had several instances where a woman is overt like this...over text,and I almost always blow it,if I am there with her...I can physically escalate....but if we are texting and she's miles away....making her horny won't help my cause....and chase framing sends her to auto rejection.....how do you deal with such a situation....)
 
Ree:wow,I love how confident you are...and I am flattered...but I only like good sex,and that only happens with a person I care about
 (here I am attempting to show that sex is not something I am desperate for,in retrospect this probably was not the best decision ,I think it made me too boyfreindy)
Gal: are you sure ,you don't want to have sex with me,nyway let's not tallk about that,get to know me,I get to know you
(she is now trying to save face)
Ree: u think you can handle me?
(I am now trying to be sexy,less boyfreindish)
Girl:handle you how ?you see you are a flirt,why do wanna know me?
(she is now confused as to wether I am a boyfriend candidate or )
Ree: I don't know you seem like an interesting person

THE BOYFRIEND DILEMNA

Girl: you do have a gf right?

(here I think the girl is wondering if I am a lover or a boyfriend candidate)

Ree:hey let's do this,right,all these things lets talk about them on a date,texts aren't an ideal medium and I am juggling you and work

(here i am desperately trying to stop the exting conversation that is quickly going in a direction I would not want,because in the past I have always been unable  to disqualify myself as a boyfreind without sending the girl to auto  rejection.)

Girl:look,I know you ain't looking for a relationship and that's cool,all I want is a friend ...and if I like a friend ,I can have sex wit that friend 

(again this is something that if a girl said to me face to face,I'd undress her right then and there,but via text,I don't know how to react,should I start chasing,or continue framing?I decide to remote control pull)


Ree:hey,why don't we first meet and share a meal,I can cook if you don't want to
Girl:you!...girlfriend or no girlfriend ?is your dick made of gold?

(instead of attempting a pull via text,should I have tried to paint myself as a lover...via text?)

Ree:Hey I like how open minded you are,you strike me as a really socially mature person,plus I suspect you have just the right amount of naughty,wether my dick is made of gold,..who knows?....if I like you,you just might find out.for now,how about you come we vibe
Gal:where?
Ree:here,mt view
(i am scared of saying my place)
Girl:you stay at mt view?alone?
Ree:yeah
Girl:you at home right now?
Ree:yeah
(at this point i felt as though she is in the bag...woohooz!...I even went outside to buy condoms)
Girlh okay sorry I can't 
Ree:come,I promise you will love it
(i felt as though she is unsure,and just needs some persuasion....again I am not sure this was a good decision,I think It made me look like I am chasing,in other words if I was truly as high value as she thought I was,I would not be so eager to convince her)
Girl:look ,I got you,u r a flirt,I don't do sex,ni I don't do strangers,sorry love

(what is going on here?...why the 180 degree turn?...does she feels as though she gave up too much when she said she is open to sex,?..does she now feel I could be a potential boyfriend ?...why is she know claiming she is a Madonna when before she was claiming she is a hwore....what changed?....)



Reehanice you are way over thinking this,we don't have to meet at my house
Gal:I am busy
Ree:what time do you get off work?
Girl: I am busy,
(I ignore her,the next day she texts me good morning,I call her,she refuses to meet either at my house or at a nuetral spot,she wants us to go out of my way to meet her,near her school.....i in turn delete her number...
I know she can still be seduced ,but I feel as though,it would have to involve me giving out too much power,and having to go the multiple date boyfriend route....

I am interested to know what any of you guys would have done differently,)

 

[andersen09]

Re: FR:remote control pull fail

Hey man, there was a definite attraction/intrigue from the girl.

But here's a breakdown of what I see.

From a bird's-eye POV:

There was a lack of connection between the girl and you. From your replies to her questions and topics, you were focused more on the outcome of pulling (the last stage I.E seduction) without putting in the time to develop a type of connection with a girl. Making it a natural progression.

Texting can be used to build a bit of comfort & rapport, and naturally progress to a high point in the interaction, which can be used to your advantage to set up a date with her or an activity together. Here are the examples of her wanting to KNOW about you more.

Phanice:why were you interested about my age,you scared of being friends with a cougar?
How old are you anyway truth please ?

I am young enough,you like cougars?
so you don't work,right?

It's not necessarily that she wants a YES or NO answer from you, or what you do. But rather, she has to know what type of character you are before investing further into going with you. A woman can be turned on physically but if she's away from your presence, (I.E not with you) she has a list of checklist in her brain that she wants to go through BEFORE putting herself in a situation where she KNOWS a sex is HIGHLY LIKELY.

With that portion out of the way, let's look at your replies.

She knows your character of this cocky & funny type of persona guy. She enjoys it but just like anything, there is a HIGH point before it starts dropping. What happened in this interaction was that it started becoming too much when she just wanted to see a HINT of your genuine, real character as well. (Which she wants to see)

Ree:that's my job,you cougar,you just want a guy who doesn't work.
Girl:lol,I am trying to get to know you.

Ree: u think you can handle me?
(I am now trying to be sexy,less boyfreindish)

Girl:handle you how ?you see you are a flirt,why do wanna know me?
(Her message: I know you're flirting with me but you don't even know anything about me, yet you want to have sex with me?)

Ree: I don't know you seem like an interesting person
(Your message: I don't know anything about you, so let me throw out a general statement i.e interesting person, nothing specific to her)

Girl: you do have a gf right?
(There's no connection between us two and you're probably looking for an easy lay)

Ree:come,I promise you will love it
Girl:look ,I got you,u r a flirt,I don't do sex,ni I don't do strangers,sorry love

(Sorry, you don't even know anything about me, yet you want to have sex with me. I want to know more about you before I have sex with you)

To add to the confusion you threw out a statement that was not congruent to what you were projecting which was,

Ree:wow,I love how confident you are...and I am flattered...but I only like good sex,and that only happens with a person I care about

So for you to care about someone, you have to establish some type of rapport and comfort. However, it was missing within that interaction. She was actually pushing to get to know you (Attracted), But you were pushing for the outcome I.E PULLING/SEX, she was refusing to meet up. (Girls are smart)


At the end of the day, she wants to feel like you want her for something else OTHER than her looks. A genuine connection.

Chase has great articles on this. Here are a couple.,

https://www.girlschase.com/content/get-to-know-a-girl
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... connection
https://www.girlschase.com/content/secre ... -deep-dive

I would recommend having a genuine connection building conversation and meet up to go in little bit deeper. And it can be smooth to invite her back to your place.

 

[Mystique]

Re: FR:remote control pull fail

Hey Ree.
Andersen really made some useful insights for you to note. I'd like to add that when you observed that she was asking lots of questions and getting skeptical, you should have called her immediately to build some rapport through a little bit of deep diving and then immediately invite her over. Waiting till the next day worsened the situation. I've read your posts and it seems like you're not a really passionate or emotional person. You should work on that - to be able to build some connection with a girl so she doesn't feel like you just want to use her. You can work on this through deep diving, a warm personality, eye contact and smiling, kind and complimentary statements, etc. If she's not physically present with you though, you can achieve this through a phone call. Those are my observations.

 

[Chase]

Ree-

The cougar bit was potentially good, but you made it combative right away with this:

Ree:hahaha...I'm 27 ,you can be my cougar..but only if you cook for me

It’s too early into the banter to be setting up hoops for her to jump through. And another thing to keep in mind with older women is there’s an attainability problem there; they need reassurance (that you don’t think they’re old and used up), and much more cooperative/less caustic humor.

You’d have been much better with a reply like:

• Terrified. I’m 27.

… or perhaps more your style:

• I fight grizzly bears. A little cougar does not frighten me. I am the ripe old age of 27. How old are you?

After that it just gets worse, with her asking for your ID, asking what you do for a job, asking if you’re employed, asking if you want to have sex with her… as soon as she asked for an ID the second time, you should’ve called. No point having an increasingly combative back-and-forth over text like this.

Once you’ve got her on the phone, if she continues to behave in an authoritarian way, then you’ve got to decide if yielding to her frame is going to get you laid or if you can come across strongly enough to take control of the frame.

Your reply to the sex question was bad, because you rejected her:

“I am flattered” means “Thanks, I’ll take it as a compliment, since the feeling isn’t mutual”, and “but … that only happens with a person I care about” means “I only have sex in committed relationships.”

I guess that’d be okay if she was young and virginal and you were willing to wait, but the rest of the time it’s just bad, bad, bad.

What you should’ve said:

• HER: So you want to have sex with me?
  YOU: Now you see the bind you put me in. If I say “yes”, you make me look like a horny dog and lose respect for me. If I say “no”, you make me look like an impotent sheep and lose respect for me. How unkind of you.

Or

• HER: So you want to have sex with me?
  YOU: Only if you’re a screamer. Are you a screamer?
  HER: No, I’m not a screamer.
  YOU: Then I guess we can’t have sex. But we can still meet and drink wine.

The “u think you can handle me?” line is random and doesn’t have any relation to the prior text. Not sure where that came from or what the point was… it doesn’t fit. And she calls you out on it and calls you a flirt, then tests you.

This is not going well. Should’ve been a phone call

Chase

 

[Ree]

Ree-

The cougar bit was potentially good, but you made it combative right away with this:

Ree:hahaha...I'm 27 ,you can be my cougar..but only if you cook for me

It’s too early into the banter to be setting up hoops for her to jump through. And another thing to keep in mind with older women is there’s an attainability problem there; they need reassurance (that you don’t think they’re old and used up), and much more cooperative/less caustic humor.

You’d have been much better with a reply like:

• Terrified. I’m 27.

… or perhaps more your style:

• I fight grizzly bears. A little cougar does not frighten me. I am the ripe old age of 27. How old are you?

After that it just gets worse, with her asking for your ID, asking what you do for a job, asking if you’re employed, asking if you want to have sex with her… as soon as she asked for an ID the second time, you should’ve called. No point having an increasingly combative back-and-forth over text like this.

Once you’ve got her on the phone, if she continues to behave in an authoritarian way, then you’ve got to decide if yielding to her frame is going to get you laid or if you can come across strongly enough to take control of the frame.

Your reply to the sex question was bad, because you rejected her:

“I am flattered” means “Thanks, I’ll take it as a compliment, since the feeling isn’t mutual”, and “but … that only happens with a person I care about” means “I only have sex in committed relationships.”

I guess that’d be okay if she was young and virginal and you were willing to wait, but the rest of the time it’s just bad, bad, bad.

What you should’ve said:

• HER: So you want to have sex with me?
  YOU: Now you see the bind you put me in. If I say “yes”, you make me look like a horny dog and lose respect for me. If I say “no”, you make me look like an impotent sheep and lose respect for me. How unkind of you.

Or

• HER: So you want to have sex with me?
  YOU: Only if you’re a screamer. Are you a screamer?
  HER: No, I’m not a screamer.
  YOU: Then I guess we can’t have sex. But we can still meet and drink wine.

The “u think you can handle me?” line is random and doesn’t have any relation to the prior text. Not sure where that came from or what the point was… it doesn’t fit. And she calls you out on it and calls you a flirt, then tests you.

This is not going well. Should’ve been a phone call

Chase

(kneels)

Thank you great sensei......I didn't know someone could do that,jump from texting to calling.....but great advice....once that combative me vs you vibe...was there..I should have change pd tactics drastically ...I knew things were getting out of hand ...I just didnt know how to correct it....I'm trying to approach my way out of oneitis and I'm sure I will get a scenario like this again...and with these newfound insights I am gonnna rock