Repeated Day Game error... Guidance needed :)

[Marty]

Okay, so I have seen this same pattern on daytime approach so many times now that I am convinced I must be making the same mistake over and over. Like, with at least six or seven different women in the past few weeks:

• Open her direct (compliment hair, eyes, dress, smile etc.) or situational opener followed by going direct ASAP

• Warm, even apparently delighted/flattered reception

• Very brief small talk moving swiftly to light rapport-building over one to two minutes

• Propose an informal date (coffee, tea, ice-cream) which is readily accepted

• Grab cell number, brief close (of the "it was nice talking with you" variety) and haul ass

• Icebreaker text after 1-2 hours, met by boilerplate response a few hours later e.g. "Nice to meet you too"

• Straightforward text next day reminding of date proposal and asking schedule. NO RESPONSE.

What's happening? Are they expecting me to PHONE them... Isn't that just so 20th century? Any ideas where I might be slipping up? Thank you!

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey Marty,

• Open her direct (compliment hair, eyes, dress, smile etc.) or situational opener followed by going direct ASAP

• Warm, even apparently delighted/flattered reception

• Very brief small talk moving swiftly to light rapport-building over one to two minutes

• Deep-dive, build as much of a connection as possible over the next couple minutes

• Propose an informal date (coffee, tea, ice-cream) which is readily accepted

• Grab cell number, brief close (of the "it was nice talking with you" variety) and haul ass

• Icebreaker text after 1-2 hours, met by boilerplate response a few hours later e.g. "Nice to meet you too"

• Straightforward text next day reminding of date proposal and asking schedule. NO RESPONSE.

I added a very important item for you. If your interactions are only lasting a couple minutes, you should be finding out (using assumptions, or flat out ask her if you have to) about something they're passionate about and talk to them about that for a minute and qualify them for it as well. Make your interactions last 5-10 minutes instead of 3-4 minutes and try to make some kind of connection. Additionally, read up on emotional cresting. You'll want to propose the date and get her digits on a high point in the interaction. If she is smiling and laughing, that's as good a time as any!

However, 6 or 7 girls is a very small sample size too. Sometimes I go out and get several #s and nothing comes from it. Other times I get several #s and end up on 3, 4 or 5 dates. It happens


Good luck!
NJ

 

[Marty]

Wow, NarrowJ, thanks! This should be a relatively easy fix, I enjoy the conversation part... Trouble was, I was leaving that until the date (which then didn't happen) every time. I guess you give her a taste of what's to come, then split leaving her thirsting for more...?

 

[Nova]

In essence there needs to be a pretty powerful reason for a girl to be willing to get back in touch with a random dude a couple of days later after she met him walking down the street. That reason namely being impression. Its so important that you create a strong lasting impression when you meet a girl during the day, being the one dude to approach her that day isn't good enough, the impression has to come from who you are, it needs to be something about you as an individual.

In my opinion there are two way to create this impression;

As NarrowJ put, through deep-diving and building a connection that she will remember two days later and think 'ah that guy who I had a brilliant conversation with on x, we really related well' - That combined with a powerful sexual vibe is obviously going to vastly increase the likelihood of her wanting to meet up with you. I understand where your coming from when you say that you wanted to leave deep-diving for the date and have lots to discuss, but during day game it's not about talking and connection on an array of different topics, just one will do, just enough to leave some sort of an impression. You'll have plenty left to speak about.

The other way of creating an impression is through top-drawer, rock solid, you-can't-fuck-with-me fundamentals. If your the sexiest guy she's seen that month, she's going to want to see you again, providing you did the essentials (building comfort, leading, logistics) Obviously fundamentals require time to fine tune and really understand what works, which is why they are something that you always want to be concious of and working on improving.

Essentially you want both, you want to have crazy fundamentals and you want to be able to deep dive successfully. There are times though when one rules over the other and that is all based upon how much time she has readily available.

Find out early on what a girls up too, if its obviously something that requires her to get going soon and you can tell that she's in a rush, then there is no point deepdiving, you really do have to do things quickly, rely namely on your powerful fundamentals and get those digits. If you have the feeling that she's got a bit of time due to her body language or her verbally saying so then it makes sense for you to try and develop an emotional connection to increase any chances of her meeting up with you again.

 

[Marty]

Wow... thanks Nova, this is concentrated wisdom: pithy, precise, immensely useful. I don't know what else to say. I'll get out there and do it!

 

[AlwaysImproving]

Good stuff