Hey guys, last night I hit the same damn sticking point that I have hit on the last 7 or so dates I went on. It's got me frustrated because the girl is responding well throughout the date – she is investing, she moves with me, good deep dives with humor mixed in to keep things from getting too heavy, light kino on each other turns into hand holding at the bar we are at, which turns into a romantic evening walk holding hands and talking. And then things just stop progressing. The girl won’t follow my lead into more quieter areas (where I could go for a makeout before trying to get her home) and the girls won’t come up to my place.
The details and my thoughts are below and I would greatly appreciate any suggestions for overcoming this very frustrating sticking point
The Initial Meeting
I met last night’s girls – let’s call her Janet – last week at a restaurant in NYC. I was at a popular, somewhat higher end restaurant having a light meal and drinks with a small group of friends when I saw Janet arrive and sit at the bar by herself. She looked like she was waiting for friends so I figured I did not have much time to act. She was thin, stylishly dressed and attractive.
I casually walked by Janet's seat, opened with a situational comment and then a few seconds later complimented her on her stylish clothing. She seemed happy to talk and we got to speak for about 5 minutes about the restaurant, NYC life, and that she was an entrepreneur who had started her own small business in NYC several years ago and traveled internationally from time to time for her work. I was a bit vague about what I did and said I did a variety of things working with and consulting with international companies looking to expand in NYC. I was trying to use Chase’s technique of being a bit vague to create intrigue but not being fully evasive.
Anyway, her friends began to arrive and I told her I enjoyed our conversation and would like to continue speaking with her and meet up again when we would have more time to talk. She agreed and I took her number
Texting to Set Up The Date
I then used Chase’s texting guide to see what day she was free and last night was the day that worked for her and me. I suggested that we meet at a cocktail bar that in NYC at 7 and she agreed. I thought her texts were positive as she would not just give short curt replies but would have some extra information about what she was doing and saying she was looking forward to seeing me.
The Date
At the cocktail bar she showed up wearing a stylish dress that showed off a good amount of her sexy legs and had her makeup done. I was wearing a tailored suit and stylish dress shirt without a tie (I knew I would not have a chance to go home and change after work). We stood for a few minutes waiting for a table to open up and we had an easy casual conversation about NYC life. I tried to lead a bit by suggesting where we should stand and she followed me. I also explained a bit about the history of the bar which she seemed to enjoy. A table opened up and luckily for me it was a couch type of seating so we sat next to each other side by side.
Over the next hour or so I thought I did everything well and I was getting positive responses. I mixed in some light cooperative teases during the initial light conversation about NYC life and travel, about 10 to 15 minutes into sitting down I had a good deep dive on her motivations for starting her own business, why she came to NYC, etc. Mixed in with this at intervals was some humor and light touching of each other. And she offered to have me take a sip of her drink which I also thought was a good sign. I kept things vague for the most part about myself as Chase advises and when I did speak I made it short but impressive sounding without bragging.
After about an hour I suggest we get the check and go outside and decide what we want to do next. She agrees so we do that and start walking. Since the kino was fairly light and while I thought we were developing some chemistry I didn’t think she was super-aroused. So as we walked I suggested that we go into a wine bar that was nearby and she agreed. This is also a nice stylish wine bar and there were not too many people so we were able to get two quite seats at the bar.
I thought this would be the perfect location to start escalating things and everything seemed to be going great. After a few minutes of more light touching of each other I put my arm around her back for a few minutes and then took it away. I seeded a pull back to my place by describing a great view of the NYC skyline. I had previously told her that I lived very close to where we were.
A few minutes later as we sipped wine and chatted we progressed to holding hands in the bar. After about 15 minutes I suggested we head out for a walk and she agreed. So we were walking in the evening and holding hands while we were walking. That’s when I hit the same wall that I always seem to be hitting!
I Hit The Same Sticking Point
I suggested that we go back to my place to check out the view for a few minutes and she said no I don’t think so. So we kept walking and holding hands for a few minutes and I began to look for quite places where would could sit and I could go for the make out and made turn her on more,. But every time I tried to lead her by the hand to a bench or a nice spot to stand together she would resist and pull my hand back and keep walking straight. I tried to lead her about 3 times to a bench or more private spot but she wouldn’t do it (it was not a safety thing there were still some people walking around).
So after the three failed attempts to escalate we walked hand in hand for another block or so and she said she was going to catch the subway nearby. Now I knew the date was not going any further so I had no interest in pushing things further or continuing the conversation. So we walked another block to the next intersection and I told her I was going to head in the other direction and we parted company.
So I really can’t figure out why this keeps happening. Its virtually the same scenario in every date – I get investment, deep diving, holding hands – but no making out and not being able to get the girl either back to my place or hers. I try not to go into the boyfriend category by saying I travel quite a bit and have an off- beat schedule but nothing seems to work!
The only differences from the above scenario on the other 6 dates is on one date I got a makeout in front for the girl’s building but I couldn’t get her to bring me upstairs. In another instance I did get back to the girls place after a walk holding hands but when we got inside she would sit on the other side of the living room and would not come sit next to me.
I would greatly appreciate anyone’s suggestions on how to break through this frustrating sticking point!
The details and my thoughts are below and I would greatly appreciate any suggestions for overcoming this very frustrating sticking point
The Initial Meeting
I met last night’s girls – let’s call her Janet – last week at a restaurant in NYC. I was at a popular, somewhat higher end restaurant having a light meal and drinks with a small group of friends when I saw Janet arrive and sit at the bar by herself. She looked like she was waiting for friends so I figured I did not have much time to act. She was thin, stylishly dressed and attractive.
I casually walked by Janet's seat, opened with a situational comment and then a few seconds later complimented her on her stylish clothing. She seemed happy to talk and we got to speak for about 5 minutes about the restaurant, NYC life, and that she was an entrepreneur who had started her own small business in NYC several years ago and traveled internationally from time to time for her work. I was a bit vague about what I did and said I did a variety of things working with and consulting with international companies looking to expand in NYC. I was trying to use Chase’s technique of being a bit vague to create intrigue but not being fully evasive.
Anyway, her friends began to arrive and I told her I enjoyed our conversation and would like to continue speaking with her and meet up again when we would have more time to talk. She agreed and I took her number
Texting to Set Up The Date
I then used Chase’s texting guide to see what day she was free and last night was the day that worked for her and me. I suggested that we meet at a cocktail bar that in NYC at 7 and she agreed. I thought her texts were positive as she would not just give short curt replies but would have some extra information about what she was doing and saying she was looking forward to seeing me.
The Date
At the cocktail bar she showed up wearing a stylish dress that showed off a good amount of her sexy legs and had her makeup done. I was wearing a tailored suit and stylish dress shirt without a tie (I knew I would not have a chance to go home and change after work). We stood for a few minutes waiting for a table to open up and we had an easy casual conversation about NYC life. I tried to lead a bit by suggesting where we should stand and she followed me. I also explained a bit about the history of the bar which she seemed to enjoy. A table opened up and luckily for me it was a couch type of seating so we sat next to each other side by side.
Over the next hour or so I thought I did everything well and I was getting positive responses. I mixed in some light cooperative teases during the initial light conversation about NYC life and travel, about 10 to 15 minutes into sitting down I had a good deep dive on her motivations for starting her own business, why she came to NYC, etc. Mixed in with this at intervals was some humor and light touching of each other. And she offered to have me take a sip of her drink which I also thought was a good sign. I kept things vague for the most part about myself as Chase advises and when I did speak I made it short but impressive sounding without bragging.
After about an hour I suggest we get the check and go outside and decide what we want to do next. She agrees so we do that and start walking. Since the kino was fairly light and while I thought we were developing some chemistry I didn’t think she was super-aroused. So as we walked I suggested that we go into a wine bar that was nearby and she agreed. This is also a nice stylish wine bar and there were not too many people so we were able to get two quite seats at the bar.
I thought this would be the perfect location to start escalating things and everything seemed to be going great. After a few minutes of more light touching of each other I put my arm around her back for a few minutes and then took it away. I seeded a pull back to my place by describing a great view of the NYC skyline. I had previously told her that I lived very close to where we were.
A few minutes later as we sipped wine and chatted we progressed to holding hands in the bar. After about 15 minutes I suggested we head out for a walk and she agreed. So we were walking in the evening and holding hands while we were walking. That’s when I hit the same wall that I always seem to be hitting!
I Hit The Same Sticking Point
I suggested that we go back to my place to check out the view for a few minutes and she said no I don’t think so. So we kept walking and holding hands for a few minutes and I began to look for quite places where would could sit and I could go for the make out and made turn her on more,. But every time I tried to lead her by the hand to a bench or a nice spot to stand together she would resist and pull my hand back and keep walking straight. I tried to lead her about 3 times to a bench or more private spot but she wouldn’t do it (it was not a safety thing there were still some people walking around).
So after the three failed attempts to escalate we walked hand in hand for another block or so and she said she was going to catch the subway nearby. Now I knew the date was not going any further so I had no interest in pushing things further or continuing the conversation. So we walked another block to the next intersection and I told her I was going to head in the other direction and we parted company.
So I really can’t figure out why this keeps happening. Its virtually the same scenario in every date – I get investment, deep diving, holding hands – but no making out and not being able to get the girl either back to my place or hers. I try not to go into the boyfriend category by saying I travel quite a bit and have an off- beat schedule but nothing seems to work!
The only differences from the above scenario on the other 6 dates is on one date I got a makeout in front for the girl’s building but I couldn’t get her to bring me upstairs. In another instance I did get back to the girls place after a walk holding hands but when we got inside she would sit on the other side of the living room and would not come sit next to me.
I would greatly appreciate anyone’s suggestions on how to break through this frustrating sticking point!
