Responses to awkward questions from her

[randy__bobandy]

Hello gents,

While my ability to talk to girls has definitely increased, one place where I still falter is bouncing back or altogether avoiding the occasional awkward question/statement from girls.

Last month, I was at an open bar party for grad students and started talking to this girl. Since there are about a dozen places both on and off campus that students can live, naturally I asked where she lives. She seemed taken aback by the statement and started saying stuff like "Why do you want to know? Do you wanna know what room?" I got really confused and just said "I was just curious...." Now I know my response was not good and that I could have played it off better, but her response had caught me totally by surprise.

And take today for example. I was talking to this girl Erisa in my research group. I was in the office, and she had to head back to the lab across the hall to check something. Her water bottle was on the table, and as she left, she jokingly said "Don't put any roofies in my water, Randy!" Like, what the hell am I supposed to say to that? I feel like it's a lose-lose situation no matter what I say. I know things are supposed to stay playful, but how could you possibly play your way out of that?

Also, a few months ago, I was talking to a girl Christine. At one point, her friend came up and asked her what she's doing for Spring Break. I had eventually said that it was strange how late the break was happening this year. Her friend said that they scheduled it around the Jewish holidays or something. Then Christine said, "Yeah, it's all the Jew's fault." (I'm not Jewish so I have no dog in this fight). Now my natural inclination was to think she was joking. But I noticed a severe lack of smile or laugh on her part to indicate that it was just a joke. But regardless, even if it's a joke or if she really doesn't like Jews, how do I move successfully move forward?

-Randy Bobandy

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Someone wrote something about this earlier. I can't find it, but there are essentially two good ways to handle stuff like this. The easier, but not quite as effective way is to agree and amplify. For example...

You: "So where do you live?"
Her:"Why do you want to know? Do you wanna know what room?"
You: "Yeah, totally. While you're at it, throw in the square footage too!"

Her: "Don't put any roofies in my water, Randy!"
You: "Don't worry, I put some ecstasy in there too!"

Basically, you're being a bit sarcastic, which lets her know you're cool, and can flirt back with her.

The other thing you can do is throw it back in her face and reverse the frame on her.

You: "So where do you live?"
Her:"Why do you want to know? Do you wanna know what room?"
You: "Hold up now, I'm not ready to move quite that fast! You need to wine and dine me first!"

Basically, instead of falling into her frame, you're reframing it as something sexual, which is gold.

As for your third example, just ignore it and move on to another topic. Just because they're female doesn't mean that they're socially intelligent. Sometimes, you just need to cut the thread and move on.