Hey,
Sorry to hear. If she had any actual spark of interest left she would have made time, no matter how "busy" she says she is. Don't fool yourself, now, this is dead.
nmujahid02 said:
I have varied how often I contact her (anywhere from 1 to 4 days so she wouldn't figure out it was intentional). She still has not initiated contact or agreed to meet for a 2nd date because of her "busy schedule".
You can vary the frequency as much as you want, if you have been initiating text the whole time, you are the one chasing, and she knows it. And she doesn't need to initiate texting because she knows you will in a few days. In a healthy interaction, she would be initiating texting most of the time.
The one thing I can say is she still has always responded to text or phone calls (we tend to talk or text 20 min or a couple of hours because we don't see each other).
Of course, she likes to keep you as an orbiter. It feels good to have orbiters. And she can keep you this way forever. Don't fool yourself, she doesn't have much respect for her orbiters. You don't want to be in this place. In the Field Reports, Ree had a Lay Report where his girl was texting her orbiter guy while he was actually fucking her. The guy she respects as a man, is the guy fucking her, not the guy chasing her.
Our should I be trying some type of push-pull to get her to react? Thoughts?
there is no amount of that or other "tricks" that will do the job now.
So I told her cool. When she has time to hang out to hit me up. She replied "hmmm. ok. I would like your input on this.
My input is:
now you apply this to the letter. You cut the chase right away, because you have done already way too much of that and it killed off your chances. You stop initiating texts altogether. You don't call. If she hits you up like she said she would, good. If she doesn't, you move on. In any case, get yourself out of orbit immediately because that will not lead you anywhere, and it is now a matter of self respect.
I'm also having sex with 2 other women to make sure less effort was going towards her.
This is good and very concrete. Much better a less-than-ideal, actual woman to whom you make love regularly, than orbiting forever around a perfect woman in the hope that she will throw you a candy. Frankly, just enjoy these two girls! they are real at least.
Overall, I feel that you had a great start, but once you had her in bed, you lost your control in mad chasing mode. That turned her off and pushed her away. The guy she wants, first and foremost, is
a cool guy who doesn't lose his shit. Fucked her on date one? Woooow, great, +50 points. Text her 24/7 afterwards because your happiness depends on her now? Bummer, -100 points.
If instead, you had let her come back to you after sex, you would be now in a much better place. Please, take this lesson home for next time:
in no instance, should you be chasing. That applies even after sex has taken place. It is much, much better to lose a girl than to violate this rule.
EDIT - Additional thoughts. The fear of losing a girl is what makes us do stupid things, and ultimately makes us lose the girl. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. If we want to be at the maximum of our seduction, we absolutely need to be prepared to lose her, and accept this fact from the onset. Once we accept that we could be losing her, the odds of keeping her are actually higher!
Seppuku
