Returning and Question about poor text conversion

[Echoes]

Hey all!

This is Joshukend (erpaison), fortunately/unfortunately back on the market. Don't want to use the old account, as people in my life (ex) accidently found it using the original username and it caused a good deal of damage... (just noticed I may be highlighted in the board rules lol, wasn't quite my real name, but it was a name used in multiple places)

7 months out from a 5 year relationship, I'm finally regularly approaching girls again. This is almost exclusively happening at my commercial gym in the middle of the day, as I'm also a new college grad and going nuts trying to get my first job. This means I don't have much contact elsewhere yet, am at home, and am living on dwindling savings. I'm 28 and have been told I look handsome and buff by family friends a lot, though this hasn't translated on the dating market yet (since the breakup, that is).

Good news, I love day game and my reception is almost always very positive. Bad news, almost no available options and things completely fizzle out after I'm not in person. Given my area, a good 3rd of girls turn out to be underage (they definitely don't look it) and almost all the rest have boyfriends. My approach usually involves me waiting for them to be in a spot where it's not too obnoxious for me to go up to them, which seems to be calibrated well, though maybe too cautious, as some are gone before a "good" opening shows up. Last week is the first time I found "available" girls and got 2 numbers. Both are around 20 and had really interesting conversations about travel, tattoos, and what they're up to.

My flow tends to be: "Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to come say hi. What's your name?" and almost always get a big smile back, introduce myself, then ask if they're in college or straight up how old are they. After a couple minutes of banter, I ask if they're single and if they are, if they'd like to hang out some time. I tend to end things soon after, using the excuse of continuing to lift/letting them continue lifting.

The two girls from last week both were down and gave me their numbers. The first one responded two times and disappeared, and the second one never responded. My first text tends to be within hours of meeting and usually is: "Hey___, it's ___! It was nice meeting you " and sometimes I add on "When would you be free to hangout?" to the initial text.

Me: Hey___, it was nice meeting you! When would you be free to hangout? (she called herself with my phone, assumed she had my name, could be wrong)
Girl#1: hey! sorry for the late response, had a busy day with classes. honestly it depends on the day! sometimes my classes are full of work & sometimes they arent. Just let me know when youre free & we can work it out!
Me: How dare you not respond immediately *angry emoji* *Haha reaction from her* Kidding lol, sure, I'm free most evenings. How do those look for you?
Girl #1: honestly the same, just depends on how the day goes bc clearly I passed out early last night *facepalm* im still on a wonky sleep schedule because of jetlag
Me: Lol, try getting direct sunlight first thing in the morning, it helps set your body's clock. Sounds like your days are more variable than mine *cross-eyed smiley* How are your weekends?
Me (2 days later): Please don't tell me you slept for two days straight *winky tongue out*
..........

The second girl just got the first message, no response, then the second part the next morning, no response. Update: She was at the gym today and seemed to ignore me lol, makes me wonder if she messed up the number and went into AR from the silence?

My only thought is the way I bow out of the conversation rubs them wrong, as I am somewhat ejecting, though still in the area (gym). Maybe I should make up an excuse of needing to get back to work (sometimes have contract work)? It could also be that I'm not creating enough spark, even though they're all smiles, asking me questions, and agree to hangout, the interactions tend to be done in maybe 2-3 minutes. I have an Instagram with pictures of a trip to Europe and me taking care of my family dogs (with my forearm tattoo worked in), so maybe for these younger girls, it would be better to exchange insta? Though I don't really have "Tinder" worthy pictures on there.

I'm open to all tips! Again, bittersweet to be back, but damn, feels nice to be approaching almost daily (even working out at a set time, it's nearly always different girls). I just need a job to come through, let me move out, and not be living in family-focused suburbs. For what it's worth, my repeat interactions with other girls has been very positive, sucks when there's a partner or age issue with them though...

Further, any pointers for how dating has changed in the last 5 years would be useful, as it seems to have had a drastic shift.


P.S. was walking the family dogs shirtless in the middle of the day to get as much sun as I can in 50 degree F winter, and crossed a lady who was standing by her front door with her tiny dog. She picked it up and we had some pretty serious eye contact as I passed by. Made me wish I didn't have the dogs there, though homewrecking antics may be best left alone...

 

[Echoes]

To add on, I've gotten 2 more numbers and all have just not responded... Things seem to go very well until I ask them to hangout where they get cold feet, even if still giving me a number (who knows if they're real). I can feel my "thought you were cute" getting a little dry, as I'm saying it frequently, so need to keep the authenticity up, though I did deliver it well for all 4 number closes. This is getting old not knowing what exactly is killing things after interesting, albeit short interactions...

 

[Beck Bass]

My only thought is the way I bow out of the conversation rubs them wrong, as I am somewhat ejecting, though still in the area (gym). Maybe I should make up an excuse of needing to get back to work

Yeah, stronger impression in person leads to better responses over text, ending is important, always.

can feel my "thought you were cute"

A bit generic, it's fine if you can give a good convo afterwards to compensate for it, but try to be more creative and come up with fresher openers if you can... Like slow opening with some indirect-direct stuff

How dare you not respond immediately *angry emoji*

Humor over text is very risky, maybe she reacted well (she sent a laugh reaction, right?), but even if she did, maybe your in person energy doesn't match a guy that would be making those jokes over text, so it's a sign of incongruence for her, which makes her less likely to invest. If you come across as a more serious/stoic guys in person, it sure can be a bit weird

would be better to exchange insta?

I think so. My profile right now is pretty shit (I have a few decent pics, but all my ex took of me), not even a 100 followers, and some hotties still text me, though we had nice interactions in person. I think most young girls these days rather text on IG than anywhere else. There's one girl in particular that almost only replies me on IG, though I have her number as well (BHMoon from my journal). Also there's the stories thing where you can spark little convos out of random crap they post, and sometimes more available girls might reply to yours as well (and even the others maybe remember you're a cool guy again).

I would recommend Hector's book on texting if you wanna get more serious about texting, been reading it and it's been really useful.

 

[Echoes]

Thanks for the response Beck! Reading the giant post about "Is game harder than it was 10 years ago?" and noticing some of the things you mention. I'm overall playful and direct, but can see the need to really convey both in person if I'm going to do the same in text, especially when it's a short interaction. Need to dig into indirect game and refresh on direct game, the former feels foreign to me, and clearly am rusty on the latter. Would be appropriate for me to buy his book, given all my crap he helped me with years ago lol.

Not sure if my intent falls somewhat flat between the initial direct compliment and asking them out, given the hiccup when I ask them out. My recent FR would paint that picture better.

 

[Skills]

Again as you xan see, thos style does not work...you are opening with a hard close

Simple/basic texting guide

There are 2 types of texting most guys use: 1.- long texting setting sexual frames.- This is hard to do, but is possible to do with experience. I had to rely in this style for 2 reasons: a.-) I relied a lot on physical game, no talking dance floor game and i had a heavy latin accent. b.-) By...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Echoes]

Again as you xan see, thos style does not work...you are opening with a hard close

Doesn't it make sense to go for that if they agree to meet before any texting? Makes me think I need to go all the way with setting a date in person, like some articles mentioned. Not sure if that is still as valid nowadays, though. Or maybe going so hard is leading to the lack of response, which is making me feel needy to keep at short as possible in a self-fulfilling cycle...

 

[Skills]

Doesn't it make sense to go for that if they agree to meet before any texting? Makes me think I need to go all the way with setting a date in person, like some articles mentioned. Not sure if that is still as valid nowadays, though. Or maybe going so hard is leading to the lack of response, which is making me feel needy to keep at short as possible in a self-fulfilling cycle...

read the link i posted, you can keep doing what you are doing is going to be low odds...I explain the reasoning in that link... When women get face to make a decision like that they get anxiety, so they either stop responding or flake (as you witness), is low odds... open, fell her out, at high point, soft close then hard close=higher odds... Field test

 

[Echoes]

read the link i posted, you can keep doing what you are doing is going to be low odds...I explain the reasoning in that link... When women get face to make a decision like that they get anxiety, so they either stop responding or flake (as you witness), is low odds... open, fell her out, at high point, soft close then hard close=higher odds... Field test

Just finished the thread, yeah, it sounds really solid. You have great examples (assuming based on your experiences lol). How do you prefer to do initial pickups? Direct/indirect, ask to go out, go for a specific date, etc.

 

[Skills]

Just finished the thread, yeah, it sounds really solid. You have great examples (assuming based on your experiences lol). How do you prefer to do initial pickups? Direct/indirect, ask to go out, go for a specific date, etc.

i know why you are asking that question cause you use the system of planting the date one the meet (i really don't do this style), but if you like that style is ok, just make sure you don't open then go for the hard close? then you got a deal with objections, i hate that style cause again they ghost, or they flake or you are working on negative compliance addressing a bunch of objections... Read this on the dynamics of girl psychic by ijjji:

100% Method for Meeting up with Girls​

02-18-2014, 01:55 PM
-

Part 1 - Why Plans Result in Cold Feet.

The inherent problem with planned events, is that during the period leading up to the event, there will be 'low' periods where future events are seen in a 'negative light' of worry or lack of enthusiasm. (Just think about a time when you were feeling worried, tired or just bored.) During such times, negative thoughts and worries tend to ACCUMULATE in regard to upcoming events. With longer time span, more such 'lows' will occur, potentially allowing multiple layers of negativity to accumulate. End result is often total loss of interest or even AVERSION.

In short, planning in advance will make any previous doubts FESTER & AMPLIFY, resulting in COLD FEET.

Conclusion: NEVER plan a first meet-up in advance.

Part 2 - How to Make Unplanned Meet-ups Happen.

Effortless way:
-Avoid communicating entirely, until next friday/saturday night.
-Then text something like "Hi Im at bar X! You?"

Fast way:
-Converse (text or phone-call) with girl WITHOUT hinting for a meet. Just flirt! No asking about what she doing or what her plans are.
-The moment SHE HINTS for a meet, suggest meeting up 'right now'.
-Example:

ij: "Heeey tiger u awake? Friday was fuun " (typically 11pm'ish on a sunday)

girl: "Yes? lol your name is sexyjiji?!?"

ij: "What?? you typo on your cell?? My name is ijjjji. Nice to meet you!"

girl: blablabla

ij: blabla (insert playfully busting her balls!!)


girl: flirty blabla. "Im watching series X. What u doing?"

ij: X is nice? I could watch with you but starving.. U have food?


(This method is much more effort, because sometimes you have to tease girls for days before they 'crack' like this. But it always happens sooner or later in my experience!)


- -
(Digression: The fallacy of reverse engineering is evident for this subject. 'Good' (popular) guys report that they never have problems when planning a meeting. (Since the girl had NO DOUBT to begin with.) Consequently, they tend to SPAM the forums with the BAD ADVICE of scheduling meets, leading to an endless stream of frustrated posts from newbies who always get last minute cancel from girls. On average there are 2 new topics like this every week. Every time the same useless advice given. Possibly making this the most deeply rooted misunderstanding in all of seduction.)

(Scheduling meetups can actually be useful for weeding out lukewarm girls, in a situation where you have many girls lined up.. e.g. you could schedule 10 girls from online on the same day, and hope that 1 or 2 dont flake.. Be warned though: the reduction of interest still plays a role, so the girl could be lukewarm when you meet her, leaving you with more 'uphill struggle', compared to a spontaneous meeting..)