Rewarding Women

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,453
Just saw ray_zorse's comment on a post where he talked about rewarding drama - and that being a very bad thing.

Got me thinking... what's a good rule of thumb of when / when not to reward women? And, is there a limit to rewarding behaviors you enjoy so the girl doesn't use her behaviors as a weapon?


Here I'm letting rewarding be seen as giving positive emotions / investing.
Rewards:
- Providing Sex
- Providing Investment (make/buy dinner, buy her a drink, pick her up, etc.)
- Complimenting Her
- If it's a more serious relationship, gifting
- Giving her "what she wants"


I could be off, but, a small list:

When to Reward
- Compliance of any sort (moving, escalating, agreeing with plans, etc.)
- Compliments
- Investment (buys you a drink, picks you up for the date)
- Opens up to you on something / Shows transparency
- Accepting a Sexual/Chase Frame

When NOT to Reward
- Shit tests
- Throws you a Chase Frame
- Flakes
- Drama
- Not complying or investing (which is tricky, since you may need to use more of your time to turn this around)
- Flirts with other dudes
- Is aloof
- Being too needy (helicopter mode / attention sucking)


The reason I felt the need to write this is because I know I've made this mistake and still do sometimes, and I've seen my friends do it.


Imagine this scenario: A guy goes out to the club with his girlfriend and some of her friends. She's getting distracted by the high energy of the club and having fun, also her ego is getting inflated a bit because she's had a couple guys come up to her.

Eventually the guy witnesses a dude with solid fundamentals come up to her, and she's actually showing IOI's this time.

Rather than play the card of "idgaf, I'm confident enough she'll be loyal" (no reward) or what some guys do, or go and tool the guy to protect his girl, he gets all upset with her enjoying herself around other guys and breaks frame in a negative way.

Then after the situation fizzles down, he immediately goes and buys the girl a drink or two, and shows her more attention than he was before - out of fear.


An idea a lot of guys who don't read GC or red pill or what have you might think, "I need to provide more for her so she'll be more focused on me, her boyfriend", when really it just switches the role of who's dominant in the relationship: her. AND she's being rewarded for the behavior by more investment.

Really, if the girl wasn't as loyal as the guy thought, well, he probably shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship with her anyways.

I've seen this situation play out and it's really sad for the guy. I've also seen the guy go and hit on girls and seen his girlfriend break frame before he did (not that he would have, anyway).



I'm kind of struggling with one situation involving this right now, actually. There's a group of girls who are attracted to me, but recently have gotten so much attention from other guys towards their crew, I feel as though when they hit me up / see me out, I'm being used as ego-fuel rather than the extension as an attempt to get interest or spend time with me. I'm debating on inviting them to a private party to not have them be distracted, but the more I think and write about this.. the more I feel I should just go have fun with other girls, maybe post something on social media or something. If it's preselection for preselection's sake, that is a bit planned and manipulative, though...


With the 2nd question I started with, is there a limit to how much should be rewarded, I'm referring to if a girl catches on that she's being rewarded for "good behavior", but rather than continue to reinforce the dynamic, withholds good behavior for compliance from the man. In which case, I suppose the same way of going about this applies like any other scenario.


Anyways, wanted to open up an idea that's been talked about on here a few times to better understand it and shine light on a common misconception some guys make.


Cheers,

Hueman
 
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