RSD Blueprint Decoded and Autism

[cluelesssomewhereoutqesr]

Howdy all,

I was watching Blueprint Decoded and realized that I do hold back some due to social conditioning and I do mask due to autism. In the past I may ramble about politics (in the Ron Paul era), but now I realize it is kind of futile as people are someone made up their minds on that and even more so I think our fate is sealed in the US and we should prepare accordingly. (Sorry for the slight dump)

I realized I held back not just with politics, but economics, programming, trading, and some other stuff. I also realized by masking and keeping quiet, I seemed odd. After starting the RSD DVDs, I started questioning if holding back is harming my confidence. But on the other hand I worry I could devolve into a discussion on Ludwig con Mises and human action. Usually I try to talk about travel or life or just what's going on, but I worry by holding back my personality, I am making things worse. On one hand I do trust myself a bit more than I did in the past, but I feel torn between authenticity and worrying I might be a bore. I think that worrying about being a bore affects my self confidence, but I just worry about being myself and worry that masking for game will make me outcome dependent. How do you apply what Tyler is saying in RSD Blueprint Decoded without rambling on and on?

Besides the stuff I mentioned, I do like travel, hiking, eventually flying, operations research, learning Spanish and maybe Mandarin (been debating about moving there), sometimes writing, development, cob and sustainable building, some video games (barely have time), pool, cigars, hookah, jazz, music, and reading. Might be more but that is off the top of my head.

 

[MrVariety]

I think you have to strike a delicate balance between indulging in nervous rambling and holding back.

I had an autistic coworker who would ramble and would basically end up having a monologue for several minutes straight not noticing nobody is interested. (He eventually got fired)

Authenticity isn’t about speaking unfiltered but being in tune with yourself and others.

Listening to esoteric, even «boring» topics you have no real interest in, can be a huge source of joy if the person is speaking with enthusiasm and from the heart - we are drawn towards enthusiasm and it’s contagious.

Autists have a proclivity to talk without paying attention to the other persons reactions, without emotion, without being connected to one’s heart or core so to say, so they sound flat.

They also lack theory of mind so they assume everyone know what they know - so they might start talking about complex things that nobody else can relate to.

When sharing your quirky passions just make sure to pay attention to the other person - let each little facial expression guide where you’re going. And also understand what people want to get out of conversation is essentially good vibes and useful information.


Mr Variety

 

[cluelesssomewhereoutqesr]

Thanks for that. I do try to do that and is safe with safe topics (say travel or maybe a story), but I do want to find that balance between your coworker and another coworker who is rainman sorry to say. I am glad that I am not being a total weirdo for slightly overthinking this, but it is one of those things that is harder and I think with the advent of social media it is even harder to calibrate as compared to when then videos were made. At the same time I don't have want it to be about her, but I don't want to go off on a spiel that might rival a Qanon fan spouting to random people (thankfully I have enough sense).

Another thing is my friend and I tend to go to one spot in the Wasatch Front every week and I do think there is some small opportunities to maybe branch out on my own, but as the area is somewhat small and most the bars are small it is hard to get volume (especially needing some more due to my issues). I don't want to make excuses to approach, but in between not really finding any girl noteworthy and the sample size, I do wonder if other areas like Phoenix or LA would be better. I just do not want to make excuses.

I also had a weird experience. I like to plan (maybe too much) and a group of women I have been talking to online have been a little flakey (one of them I fucked on holiday, so not a skill issue per se), but be that as it may if this group fell through I felt a bit like well what is my plan B if everything I worked for fails (been thinking about this with my career as well). But a funny thing happened. I did come up with some mediocre backup plans, and I felt ok. I also had a super interview for a job, and I felt grateful they even reached out to me as it is my dream job (Portfolio Management). I have also noticed as my goal board got emptier, I did not feel the need to put up more (except being in better health and working on game a bit more). I will admit up to this point I was more focused on career instead of of women, but I realized that it will be ok, I can still exercise 2-3 options if I really fuck up. Then watching the RSD video made me realize I need to be a bit more open and free, as masking can make the situation worse, but I do need to tread carefully, so I am not talking about Thomas the Tank Universe for 5 hours (I exaggerate but you get the point). I just feel like I talk about society social engineering, but to an extent I do that, albeit probably for a different reason compared to many.

Thanks again.

 

[MrVariety]

You’re welcome.

For the rest of that post: ???

Yeah you definitely need to get your rambling under control. Good thing you’re aware of it.

Mr Variety

 

[cluelesssomewhereoutqesr]

Online I tend to be free flowing. In person I tend to put a muzzle on myself.

I with the last thing is I felt desperate at first, like I need a gf, need a FWB or whatever, but then I realized I am ok no matter what I accomplish. And I realized it would be ok and I need to be myself , but I just need to find my way without rambling like I do online.

 

[FreeJ]

...

Authenticity isn’t about speaking unfiltered but being in tune with yourself and others.

Listening to esoteric, even «boring» topics you have no real interest in, can be a huge source of joy if the person is speaking with enthusiasm and from the heart - we are drawn towards enthusiasm and it’s contagious.


Mr Variety

That's a great way to phrase it, and this matches my experience.

Authenticity to me, is in dialing down the volume on external opinions compared to your own. I think what OP is talking about sounds more like a question of social calibration.