Salamence's Newbie Assignment

[Salamence]

Finally! Made an account on this. How's it going peers?
I'm excited to begin this assignment because I have let it drag on for about a year (not lieing) a whole year of imagining what could have been. It really is unhealthy for the mind.
I'll start out by introducing myself to let you peeps know a little about me.
I'm 19 year old hispanic born in Southern California (the ghetto side lol) haven't had a girlfriend pretty much never been first base so basically starting off fresh!
How i got into this was when a friend of mine were hanging out we saw a dude getting women all the time, and I told him how on does he attract so many women?!
My friend replied with, "Some people got it some people don't" I refused to believe that. I just knew there was something they were doing that i wasn't seeing.
Instead of making this long i'll just stick to the objective. I won't be doing this every day i might progress it 2 or three times out of the week.

DAY 1: I have scouted a few places.
My college campus is pretty huge and there is always people around and new faces.
I have two malls that are sort of nearby but not to much of a hassle to go to.
I wanna go to nightclubs but i don't have to much research on it but i will soon!

Can't wait to start the next step and take action! Onward!


P.S. I apologize if my writing is not so great. This is my first time doing this sort of stuff. Thanks!

 

[Tyme2k]

Hey man glad to see you taking action.

My suggestion is set some solid goals for yourself and enusure that no matter what you stick to them. Like EVERY friday and saturday you will go out and talk to 10 girls. Make sure you reflect each day so you learn.

 

[Salamence]

Thanks for the advice man. I'll definitely set goals.
I'm going to be performing Day 2 in my college campus, which is POSTURE.
I already improved my posture since reading stuff from Chase's site, but I haven't seen how other people walk.
The feeling is very overwhelming since i don't go out much, (social anxiety, but it's slowly decreasing) i'm a little afraid but excited at the same time!

- Salamence

 

[Salamence]

Day 2 :
Walked around my college campus and noticed many people were slouching with their hands in there pocket. Maybe it was because it was cold i'm not to sure.
The impression i got was that they looked rather nervous with their hands in their pocket and slouching. It looked like there hiding something. That was my impression.
I also notice many of the people walk fast!
Since reading Chase's stuff i slowed my walk WAY down. Everyone walked so fast but maybe that's because people were rushing to class i'm not to sure on that either.
The impression i got where they weren't open like your not in control if you guys know what i mean?
I felt very calm when i was walking slowly around the campus.

I have a question on Day 3: Eye Contact.
It says i have to make Eye Contact with 10 different people. Am i suppose to wait for them to look at me first or do i look at them until they notice im looking at them.
This one might be a tough one, cause i grew up learning not to hold eye contact with people or else that's a sign of disrespect. (Grew up in the hood) but i'll give it a try anyways!
How did you guys preform on day three? How was the expierence?

 

[Tyme2k]

I've never seen this newbie assignment(I'll have to take a look), I just integrated these into my daily routines. Eye contact, this one has been my favorite, and if you read my journal you will see why. Thanks to Chase, I really made strong eyecontact a part of my life. This is something that powerful people naturally do, and it is a misconception that it is bad manner(BM SC2 talk lol) or disrespectful.

The excercise I do:

I look into EVERYONE's eyes that I walk by. I hold this eye contact until they look away and I never look down. If they seem hostile or aggressive I give a slight head nod and continue to move along my path. Out of hundreds of thousands of people I've done this to so far, NO ONE has been aggressive. I have also noticed that most people assume you are higher value because you do this as they will look down submissively. Make sure you look natural when doing this though, dont mug, leer, or hold eye contact after they broke it. This is where you cross the line of being rude and may see some aggression. Getting this down is essential to becoming a powerful sexy man though. I know that you can literally bring a blown set back with this!

 

[Salamence]

Dayum thousands that's crazy! I had my goal set on 10 today
And I only did one haha I noticied I have a tendency to turn my head away to avoid eye contact. It's almost like a reflex for me, probably because ive been doing it for years without knowing it. (And I get extremely anxious towards people) but im going to give it another try when I go to my college campus

 

[Salamence]

Might aswell write on the one person I did eye contact with haha
It was a small petite Asian girl. It was nothing special, I looked at her and she looked at me smiled then I smiled back and she nodded her head and I nodded aswell and looked down a bit. I gotta stop that habit of looking down XD
I'm going to repeat Day 3 because I'm not satisfied with the results. My goal was to have eye contact with ten people and I only did one.

 

[Salamence]

I repeated Day 3 again but i pussied out no excuses. I only got in eye contact with 1 girl.
It was on my way home, i noticied her looking ( atleast i think i did) so i glanced at her back for like a second, but i didn't smile and looked away a bit.
She was on the same bus as i was so again i tried to make eye contact because i was trying really hard to get this eye contact down lol
i tried to form eye contact again but this time her eyes widened i think she was afraid haha and i kind of looked down again (shame on me) so i stopped trying to get eye contact and went on my way. I'm going to repeat this assignment again until i get comfortable with eye contact. No exceptions.

 

[Salamence]

Normally i was planning on doing the eye contact for the newbie assignment. But i kinda skip those steps and approached a girl i saw on the bus.
I saw a cute girl sitting next to me on the bus, and i was thinking in my head "Fuck it it''s now or never" I slowly turned to her and tap her on her shoulder (she was on her headphones)

Me: "Hi...are you single?"
Her: "Smiled and laughed a bit and said "yes"
Me: "Nice to meet you introduced myself
She: "Hi im XYZ" (honestly i forgot her name lol cause i was nervous)
Me: "what book are you reading?"
She: "Some book for class"
Me: I kinda stumbled a bit and asked "what are you majoring"
She: "I'm majoring in XYZ"
Me: Ah cool, paused awkwardly for a couple seconds haha "What made you get into that?"
She: My mom works with hotels (or something like that) and she grew into it.
Me: "Ah very cool...paused and kinda looked away (nervous)
She: "What are you majoring in?"
Me: In XYZ, asked her "are you going to transfer schools?"
She: "Yes i'm planning to"
Me: "Ah cool where to"
She: "San Diego or Nevada"
Me: "Ah cool, nevada really cool, you been there?
She: Yes i have but i don't like to travel to much"
Me: I kinda stumbled a bit "Ah okay"
She: "What class did you have today"
Me: i dont today i just came to buy a book"
She: "Really? that's a waste of time"
Me: "Sometimes you gotta do weird things"

My stop in the bus was coming up so im like fuck it might aswell try to set something up even if it is awkward

Me: "Listen, my stop is coming soon, how about we grab something to eat this week, what's your schedule looking like?

She immediately got defensive

She: "I'm really busy etc...etc..

I wasn't to mad or anything

Me: I said "ah aight cool...well i gotta jet it was nice meeting you *hand shake*" and we parted ways"

You know what? Writing the conversation made me realise it was boring as sh*t lmao i can feel the awkwardness haha
i tried to deep dive and stay off the school topic (cause i personally don't like to talk about it) but i kept getting sucked back into it.
Any suggestions? Feel free to critque
P.S. I know i suck at this, this was actually the first time i approached a girl lmao

 

[Verisimilitude]

Man who cares if the interaction didn't go the way you planned. You just did something that 99% of the men on earth are too scared to do. Be proud of that if nothing else. It might not seem like much, but its the first small step towards a better you.

 

[Salamence]

Thanks for the encouraging words my dude! It helps a lot man.

Anything I could have done better? Tips are welcome haha

 

[Verisimilitude]

I'm not exactly the most experienced at this either, but I would say it went well, but when she got defensive it could've meant two things: She wasn't into you or she was but she wasn't going to move thing fwd (no girl does). So I would have pushed harder, at least one more time. I have the same problem though, if a girl says one negative thing or one thing that doesn't communicate direct interest, I give up. I'm working on stopping that (reactions vs. results) and pushing just a little harder.

 

[Tyme2k]

Honestly we could sit here and critigue your conversation all day right? Would that really get us anywhere? The major thing here is you took a leap in your game, you skipped over the noobie assignment since you felt compelled to open. Thats a great step out of your comfort zone and my main suggestion/response to you is next time push it even further!

That said there are a couple things you can think about that could help you next time. After going direct or semi-direct with are you single, you should stray away from going situational, ie talking about the book. If you run out of things to say you can always go situational to stay in set, but I would personally start to qualify her.

In XYZ, asked her "are you going to transfer schools?"

Great rethread, this stuck out to me. You are going to want to do this when conversations aren't going the direction you want. Get them investing and working for information about you.

Another thing to think about she gave you a couple conversational out crops for you to take off and deep dive with:

My mom works with hotels
Yes i have but i don't like to travel to much

A shit test:

Really? that's a waste of time

You could have passed by stating, well actually I'm so busy this week I wont make it back there.. I really needed it for my project due friday.. Well if I didn't come you wouldn't be undressing me with your eyes..

There was something I wanted to add, but I think breaking it down isn't really going to help you on your next step. Try integrating solid eye contact. When she is telling you something look her in the eye and truly LISTEN. She will sense this and love you for it. Practice your eye contact, it's a must!

 

[nino]

Hey Salamence, finally spotted your NA. Kudos to you for getting out of your comfort zone and just go for it that was huge! Yeah, conversation wasn't all too great but you noticed that yourself already and unless you practice it won't change so nothing to worry about, you will build up from there. Looking forward to more.

 

[Salamence]

Thanks nino.
Yesterday i approached a girl at a bus stop. She was very cute, small and petite (my type)
I stood close to her not necessarily next to her i was pretending i was waiting for the bus. It took me a couple of minutes to get the courage but in the end i said "Fuck it" and went for it.
She was listening to music (wearing headphones) as i was walking my heart's pounding like CRAZY, i kinda liked it though felt like a cool little rush.

Me: "Excuse me, i just had to come talk to you because your really cute" She was really cute, by far one of the cutest girls i approached and i haven't apporached many girls yet lol this was my second ever cold approach.
She: "Thank you" Her tone was a little dull like she didn't want to be bothered sort of
Me: I'm Salamence, and you are...?
She: I'm name (name blocked)
Me: "Ah very cool!, where you headed to?" i smiled a little bit but it was more of a weird smile like i was trying to force it.
She: "School"
Me: "Cool, what school you go to?"
She: "This college"
Me: "Ah very cool, what you studying?"
She: "Physcology" She had a very dull tone.
Me: "Very cool! what made you get into that?"
She: "Umm..idk" I was hoping she would open up more but i guess not. Any of you guys got any tips on how to respond to that? and why they say that?
I pause for a bit and get stuck! so there was an awkward silence for a like a minute or so. Yikes!
I look the other direction to see if the bus was coming and in my head im like, "Shit, it's getting very awkward what do i say?" or i hoped she say something in the conversation but she didn't, she was texting.
I was panicking a little bit. I wasn't sure if i should leave and say "cya later and leave" because I thought it would be awkward to tell her that because we were both waiting for the bus. So i decided to force a conversation and hopefully things go better but man...things did not get better! haha
Me: "What ethnicity are you?"
She: "I'm flipina"
Me: "Ah very cool, you were born there"
She: "Yeah i moved here when i was 11"
Me: "What's the biggest difference from here to there?
She: "Umm...idk i didn't like it at first but now it's cool"
Me: "Ah cool, would you like to go back there someday?"
She: "Yeah someday" seemed a little bored at this point i can sort of feel like she wanted me to leave but i stayed (probably should have stopped though haha)
Me: "Anywhere else you would like to travel"
She: "Paris"
Me: "Ah! the place of love!" Now that im thinking back on it man that was lame.
Again an awkward pause this time it was longer than before! I'm looking the opposite direction for the bus and a couple of buses where coming by
She walks away doesn't say anything to me and gets on her bus.
I then get on my bus and part ways.


Summary: Just by typing this conversation i can tell from the get go that it was boring as shit.
I also notice i say "Ah cool" or "Very cool" ALOT maybe i got it switch it up or say somthing else? What do you guys think?
i also recently one of Chase's articles "How not to be the creepy guy" and he wrote the common mistakes of a creepy guy.
Any boy! did those bullet points hit me like a lighting bolt! haha

These are the points from his article.
"A conversation is dying, but he stands there and keeps trying very hard to keep it alive."

"A woman has given signals she isn't interested, but he continues trying to talk about very mundane stuff like the weather or the city or his job."

"The level of interest he's showing does not align with his purported intentions."

As i was reading those i began to laugh my as off! I was doing all of those three!
But this time it was different, i actually live it instead of reading it haha

I also noticed that my voice sounded a little high pitched during the conversation and i was almost whispering, im guessing because i was nervous but man thinking back to it i felt like going back in time and slapping myself then telling myself "Motherfucker speak up! adn talk deeper!
I also noticed i had NO emotion, im not sure how to explain it, the way i was talking it was like there was no feeling kind of like a zombie. it was very dull. If i was to describe it would be "blah" I did record myself talking when i got home and noticed i have an EXTREMELY boring voice haha when i was listening to my own voice I was falling asleep!
Any of you guys got any insights on how to make your voice feel more alive i guess, with more passion. Hopefully you guys know what i mean.

Last thoughts: I wasn't wearing the best clothes either. I was wearing a sweater like the ones you work out with. and my jeans had different colored paint in front of them.

Even though that conversation sucked horribly, (and i really mean horribly! haha) I was feeling a little down because i failed but at the same time i felt happy and relieved inside because I got up and pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

Thanks for reading you guys. And PLEASE FEEL FREE to give your comments and insights aswell. I would love to hear your guys story aswell and how'd you guys overcame your own situations, it might motivate me more.

Check ya later!
-Salamence

 

[Tyme2k]

I used to have tons of interactions like this, the only way to lessen them is to keep pushing though. I think you needed to stay in set and burn it to the ground so definitely a win there. Your adrenaline pump will lessen over time and the faster you get into set the less it will rise up. When you sit there thinking oh shit oh shit it just makes it worse.

Here is some learning points imo from your conversation:

"Excuse me, i just had to come talk to you because your really cute"

Never say Excuse me. Say "Hi" "hey there" "You!" anything that is unapologetic, you're high value and you are giving her a gift by talking to her! Also if you are going to go direct like this you should be getting investment right out of the gate to calibrate. What most suggest is to state your name before she get's a chance to say thanks, this way instead of thanks she is telling you her name right off the bat. What I used to do in my direct approaches which yeilded some solid results was convey my value immediately, "You're cute, but I only bring amazing people into my life, tell me something interesting about you." Sometimes this would blow the set immediately though because I conveyed too much value, girls would have no clue what to say and just run off. All the while eye contact needs to be piercing, stare at the bridge of their nose, do not blink do not stutter, ESPECIALLY when going direct.

"Ah very cool!, where you headed to?"
"Cool, what school you go to?"
"Ah very cool, what you studying?"
"Very cool! what made you get into that?"

One thing you pointed out already "Cool" NOTHING she said was cool, she wasn't investing whatsoever and you were in a sense rewarding her for bad behavior. Second thing there is a commonality between these, they are ALL questions! You want to limit your questions and pretty much never ask one. You sentances should always be worded as statements for example(I will reword them in the same order):

You're the thrid cutest (Name) I know, so you're headed to school?
You go to (school name)?
I see, let me guess, you're a math major?(even if you are wrong it's ok she might ask why, "maybe it's cause you're asian are the streotypes true? Are you good at math? NO! Debunked hahah")(Self amusement)
Psychology, what made you decide that instead of something like sociology, or biology?

Your were headed in the right direction, you just need to do more approaches. What I'm talking about here I have experienced counteless times and will even continue to fuck up, but sometimes, actually numerous times I nail it and you will too so long you keep pushing yourself.