Calls & Texts Sample Text Conversation With Online Girl

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Nov 14, 2012
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Southern California
Hey all,

I've got some time before I head out of town this weekend to share a sample text conversation between me and a girl I met online. I know there have been plenty of guys needing help with getting dates by texting, and I know some guys have been regularly using online dating as a means to get some experience. This will give you an idea of how you turn online girls into them chasing you for dates.

This is a girl that I basically had no conversation with prior to her giving me her number. Take a look at the progression of the conversation and how I slowly build up intrigue, but still come across as a genuine person, and then once she seems to be comfortable with texting me, I start throwing in the (sexual) chase frames. Also take a big note of the time between texts and how girls "react" when they don't text you for awhile but you don't overstep your boundary by texting her again anyway.

NOTE: Will replace her actual name in this conversation.

[09/10 12:38 PM] Me: Hey HotPetiteBlonde, this is Franco (<My online username>) from <website>. I got your message, and it's cool to meet you =). How was your weekend?
[09/10 05:41 PM] Her: oops sorry i just checked my phone. i'm glad you texted me! my weekend was okay, just worked. you?
[09/10 07:11 PM] Me: Mine was good! I actually took the day off from work yesterday, so I had a nice long three day weekend. Definitely took advantage of it! So I saw you like working with dogs?
[09/10 07:15 PM] Her: LOVE IT! what do you do?
[09/10 07:35 PM] Me: Nice! I have an awesome yellow lab that lives with my parents. Super cool dog. And I'm a software developer for the marines and the navy. Sweet job, but difficult to explain over text, lol
(I want to save delving into possible deep dive topics on the date, so I try to avoid getting too deep into things. Texting should be shallow and fun)
[09/11 01:43 AM] Her: idk why i just got this text LOL. but yeah that does sound difficult to explain over text, that's okay though. you can explain it to me in person :)
[09/11 08:14 AM] Me: Haha, yeah, that would be good =). Speaking of which, what's your schedule like next week HotPetiteBlonde? I'm usually free weekday evenings
[09/11 11:21 AM] Her: next week i dunno yet. what about this week?
[09/11 12:35 PM] Me: I totally would, but it's kinda a bad week for me. Got lots of work to catch up on cuz I took Mon off. And I'm goin out of town for the weekend on Fri evening. How about I hit you up early next week and check then? Sound good?
(Truth be told, I could have done Thursday, but I had a girl I see regularly already coming over...)
[09/11 12:40 PM] Her: sounds perfect. so tell me more about you.
[09/11 12:53 PM] Me: I won't give away too much yet... but I do have an obsessive passion for both football and music (live too). And I'm tall, dark, and handsome. Haha ;)
[09/11 12:57 PM] Her: chargers right? what kinda music?
[09/11 4:23 PM] Me: Yup. Big Chargers fan! And I'm mostly into electronic and rock music, but I like other genres as well
[09/11 5:01 PM] Her: oh nice sounds good. did your high school have powderpuff football?
[09/11 6:21 PM] Me: Haha, they did actually! But it was a one-weekend event thing for the girls. I rarely went to our football games because our team sucked, lol
[09/11 8:19 PM] Her: the high school i went to invented it 42 years ago! i got kicked off the first practice, lol.
[09/11 8:47 PM] Me: Really?? Haha, that's pretty funny! Are you a football fan too?
[09/12 12:55 AM] Her: not necessarily, i just have way too much aggression for my size sometimes, lol.
[09/12 8:08 AM] Me: Hahaha, I see. Well, sometimes a little aggression from a girl in the right scenario can be sexy... ;)
[09/12 9:56 PM] Her: ugh i suck at texting during the day. anyways, i think you're gonna like me.
[09/12 10:31 PM] Her: i did a photoshoot the other night. here's one of the shots.
(Sends me a sexy photo of her in heels, a skirt, and a small bikini-like top that shows off her midriff and shoulders. See how the conversation is starting to turn sexual...?)
[09/13 8:40 AM] Me: Very nice... elegant, yet has a small hint of "bad girl sexiness." I like that. And you're right. I think I am going to like you... ;)
[09/13 8:41 AM] Her: yay, thank you :). is it next week yet?
[09/13 8:42 AM] Me: Soon. ;)

I'll try to give a more detailed breakdown of my thoughts during the conversation and what I was trying to accomplish if I get more time later this weekend.

- Franco
 

PinotNoir

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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USA
Dude, thanks for this! I liked seeing the times too.

What's interesting to me is that she kept trying to paint herself as the "bad texter," but you just ignored it. I had a girl that kept trying to do that with me (even though I was texting in very similar intervals). I just texted, "Nah, you're a great texter ;)" hoping that'd rattle her game a little, but then it just made her push back on waiting even longer haha. I think I should have just ignored it like you did. Instead, we started having this "text waiting battle" which just took longer to finally get the date (which did happen surprisingly).

What's also interesting is that she's asking most of the questions at the end. I assume this is because you're wanting to leave it hanging and only deep-dive in person, but she then desperately keeps asking questions. It doesn't seem to hurt you that you're not asking questions back. Usually, I'm worried that the girl will think that I'm not interested in knowing her. Did this hurt at all? If a girl just keeps asking questions and you just keep answering and ending there, does this make her feel less connected?
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
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Joined
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Messages
3,642
Location
Southern California
PN,

What's interesting to me is that she kept trying to paint herself as the "bad texter," but you just ignored it. I had a girl that kept trying to do that with me (even though I was texting in very similar intervals). I just texted, "Nah, you're a great texter ;)" hoping that'd rattle her game a little, but then it just made her push back on waiting even longer haha. I think I should have just ignored it like you did. Instead, we started having this "text waiting battle" which just took longer to finally get the date (which did happen surprisingly).

Yeah, younger and inexperienced girls will do this a lot (and this girl is 19 by the way). More experienced and older women will not even bring it up, for the same reason an experienced man won't either. If you bring it up, it actually makes it sound like you were even aware of the fact that it's been awhile since she texted. A busy man with lots of options is getting texts from women all day, so he doesn't take notice of the fact that a girl takes 10+ hours to text him back. ;)

What's also interesting is that she's asking most of the questions at the end. I assume this is because you're wanting to leave it hanging and only deep-dive in person, but she then desperately keeps asking questions. It doesn't seem to hurt you that you're not asking questions back. Usually, I'm worried that the girl will think that I'm not interested in knowing her.

If you noticed, I stopped asking questions after I knew that I had established that we were going to go on a date, but I also knew that the specific logistics wouldn't be handled until next week when I was going to text her again. At that point, I just let her try to chase me for more information. I'll still respond to her texts, but I won't ask (many) more questions so that I leave intrigue and keep her wanting more. Which brings me to my one question I did ask...

[09/11 8:19 PM] Her: the high school i went to invented it 42 years ago! i got kicked off the first practice, lol.
[09/11 8:47 PM] Me: Really?? Haha, that's pretty funny! Are you a football fan too?
[09/12 12:55 AM] Her: not necessarily, i just have way too much aggression for my size sometimes, lol.

I asked this one because it was a qualifying question. She knew from my profile (and the previous texts) that I was a huge San Diego Chargers football fan. By asking her if she liked football as well, I gave her an opportunity to try to qualify herself to me (which is a form of chasing), and it ended up working in my favor since I was able to frame her response into something sexual. ;)

If a girl just keeps asking questions and you just keep answering and ending there, does this make her feel less connected?

This is what 90% of guys who text women probably think, and I'd say probably 98% of guys on dating websites probably think. As a matter of fact, it does not. Most of the guys on dating websites spam girls with messages and texts, and it's partially the reason why women throw their hands up in the air relatively quickly and just leave online dating altogether. Too many guys are needy for attention from women they haven't even met in person yet. Women will think to themselves, "I don't even know this guy and he is texting me all the time -- what the heck?!"

All you have to do is try to set up the date and use the rest of your texts to her sparingly to vaguely answer her questions, build intrigue, and throw in sexual, flirty frames when the opportunity arises.

- Franco
 

The Byronic Man

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Aug 28, 2013
Messages
209
Location
Southern California
Fantastic stuff, Franco.

Once we are texting, my texts are typically purely for logistics and setting up dates. I don't bother with anything else. But I have to chat with her a bit before she'll agree to exchange numbers (well, technically, I give her my number and tell her to text me her schedule, which is subtle form of her chasing I think). Your example is interesting though because it seems like you got her number without having to have chat with her before hand. How did that happen?

That was pretty fast how quickly you got her thinking about a date. And you were able to get her chasing quite easily by not asking questions and baiting her. I've tried to do the same online, but with very limited success (they may take the bait, but will often reply back with a statement). However, once I'm texting, I can get her chasing (I never thought much about it, but now that I look back at examples, they're pretty funny...usually, it's stuff like them asking me when and where our date will be because I left them hanging...or I get so busy and can't be bothered playing the waiting game and sure enough she texts me "out of the blue" to coordinate logistics). Strange how women will not chase online, but will chase over text.

In my experience with online dating, if I don't do some deep diving before giving her my number, I get a high flake ratio when it finally comes to our first dates (my guess is that she panics at the last minute that she's meeting up with someone she hardly knows). But if I deep dive a little bit (I try to do the least amount so I save deep dive topics for the date; I do it just enough so she finds the conversation interesting, and I tell her it's best to continue in person), I'll get a low flake ratio. It's more work, but the big drop in flakes seems to be worth the time and effort.

Thoughts?
 
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