Hi, my name is John and I'm new here. In the beginning of the week, my friends and I went on a trip to Porto Seguro, here in Brazil, where we get drunk and go to parties almost everyday.
Anyway, about 4 days ago, I went to a party and hooked up with a close friend; who's in my social circle and in class with me. The thing is, I wasn't in my better judgement and I didn't move her - and because of her aroused state, she looked for someone else to keep making out with.
1 day later, I set up to talk to her, and employed some deep diving, conversationalism and some touching as well: she seemed interested, but since we were surrounded by the rest of our friends (and because I was feeling a bit of anxiety) I didn't employ hard physical escalation or a spontaneous kiss transition.
Later that day, at a party, I failed to approach her (she was dead drunk) and another guy got to her.
The day after, before going to a party, I also engaged in conversatiin with her, and when we arrived at he venue I decided to wait a little before aproaching her, for I didn't want to come across as needy or chasing. The thing is, I was sober, sick and with a fever - besides being kind of anxious - and she was drunk and surrounded by friends, and before I came to her, some other guy did. I tried to catch up to her later, but she didn't seem very receptive and her friends kept pulling her away.
Yesterday, I didn't talk to her at all (it felt like she was cold and avoiding me) and, again, I didn't want to seem needy and as the chaser. I think she may have gone into auto-rejection.
Which finally brings us to today: right now it's around one in the afternoon here and we have a party tonight. We also are heading back home tomorrow at dawn, and it's very likely I keep seeing her - at least in social situations.
How do I adress her feeling of rejection and get her warm and open towards me again? Should I be constantly around her or should I distance myself or even move on?
TL;DR: hooked up and made out with a close friend, failed to escalate properly sometimes and she's gone cold and into auto-rejection. How do I fix it? Or should I move on?
Anyway, about 4 days ago, I went to a party and hooked up with a close friend; who's in my social circle and in class with me. The thing is, I wasn't in my better judgement and I didn't move her - and because of her aroused state, she looked for someone else to keep making out with.
1 day later, I set up to talk to her, and employed some deep diving, conversationalism and some touching as well: she seemed interested, but since we were surrounded by the rest of our friends (and because I was feeling a bit of anxiety) I didn't employ hard physical escalation or a spontaneous kiss transition.
Later that day, at a party, I failed to approach her (she was dead drunk) and another guy got to her.
The day after, before going to a party, I also engaged in conversatiin with her, and when we arrived at he venue I decided to wait a little before aproaching her, for I didn't want to come across as needy or chasing. The thing is, I was sober, sick and with a fever - besides being kind of anxious - and she was drunk and surrounded by friends, and before I came to her, some other guy did. I tried to catch up to her later, but she didn't seem very receptive and her friends kept pulling her away.
Yesterday, I didn't talk to her at all (it felt like she was cold and avoiding me) and, again, I didn't want to seem needy and as the chaser. I think she may have gone into auto-rejection.
Which finally brings us to today: right now it's around one in the afternoon here and we have a party tonight. We also are heading back home tomorrow at dawn, and it's very likely I keep seeing her - at least in social situations.
How do I adress her feeling of rejection and get her warm and open towards me again? Should I be constantly around her or should I distance myself or even move on?
TL;DR: hooked up and made out with a close friend, failed to escalate properly sometimes and she's gone cold and into auto-rejection. How do I fix it? Or should I move on?
I don't think I have seen you on these boards before, so I'd like to extend a warm welcome, if I can do anything to help you on your journey I will try to do so -- although you seem to already have pretty good instincts as to where you can improve.