- Joined
- Nov 30, 2019
- Messages
- 35
Hi everyone... this is my first time posting here. It seems like people here are doing some really cool things in the game, so I figure it'd be cool to get involved and share a couple of my recent LRs. I never used to be active on forums, but I've been reading some of the LRs here, and they've been super helpful/inspiring. As a little background, I've been gaming in NYC for about four years, mainly using Gunwitch's SMMA material (I think @Bacchus uses same?). Gun talks about getting three keys (social frame, emotional stimulation, and sexual arousal) in place for a good pickup, so I try to break my pickups down through that lens...
Anyways, this particular pickup happened last Wednesday evening, around 8ish. I was street-gaming around midtown Manhattan, and I saw this girl (late teens, early twenties) crossing the street to where I was standing. We were both waiting for the crosswalk, so I walked up by her side, a few feet away. I then caught her attention and used one of Gun's indirect openers.
Usually, when I do street approaches like this, I try to stay stationary and talk. But this girl seemed like she was on a mission, so we just walked in the same direction and kept talking. Along the way, she mentioned that she had just gotten out of work -- she said that she stripped at a club right by where we met -- and that she was on her way to buy a winter jacket. We talked a bit about what we both did, where we were originally from, how we liked the city...etc. Just light talk, though I teased her a bit by telling her that I was actually a stripper myself (half smirk-like so she couldn’t tell if I was being serious). From the vibe (mainly that she was continuing to walk), though, it didn’t seem like I had a great hook or anything. And, when we got to the next crosswalk with a stoplight, she said something like, "well, my store is over there, but it was cool meeting you!” So, I figured there wasn't much chance of anything coming from this particular approach...
But, I always go for the insta-date/number anyways, so I responded with something like: "Before you go, you seem like a fun person...I'm sorta curious about you because you have a different energy, I wanna figure out what it is. I know an awesome bar nearby, let's grab a quick drink before you get your jacket." Basically, just high-noting and excusing the move to get to know her better. And, sorta to my surprise, she was down to grab the drink...
So, we headed to a bar a couple blocks away. She started asking me questions about what I like to do for fun/hobbies. Whenever I get asked this, I see it as an opportunity to run a fun emotional stimulator. My go-to response now is, I'll talk about how I used to do improv acting when I first moved to the city. I then say that one of the first games taught in improv is called "Building a Story." (Basically, in the game, you go around a circle with each person in the circle contributing a word to a "story" that you make up together on the spot.) After I explain how the game works, I playfully challenge the girl with, "So are you quick on your feet, do you think you'd be good at that?" And then we always end up playing it for a bit. It gets a fun dynamic going, and it sets a good frame of us working as a team to build something. So, anyways, I ran that with her and it was fun.
After some more basic convo for a while, the topic of love/dating came up. Credit again to Gun here, I used one of his emotional stimulators/questions about the experience of love and what we'd ideally want to be loved for. That really seemed to hit with her, and at this point it seemed like she was really immersed.
At this point in the date, I felt like I had pretty good social frame (she was asking me questions back and keeping the convo going on dead spots), and I had run a few emotional stims that seemed to hit. I felt the main key I still needed to build was the sexual. One thing I’ve struggled with is sexual sub communication, e.g. through voice tonality and “bedroom eyes,” so at this point I mainly depend on some verbals or overt physical escalation to build the sexual key. One of my go-to verbals for this is talking about the first girl I ever dated, who it turned out had been a “sub” in a previous BDSM relationship. I usually bring this up anytime the topic of dating comes up, as it lets me describe some sexual themes pretty vividly. I tried doing this with this girl, but it didn’t really seem to hit.
That said, we did have some “incidental” touch going. My arm was resting on the bar in such a way that her chest would rest/brush against it every once in a while. At some point, I also ran my hand through her hair a bit. I’ve been trying to avoid this type of overt touching lately, so as not to trigger ASD, but at that point I felt like it was the only way for me to get her sexually turned on. She was receptive to it, and there was a light sexual vibe going back and forth between us, but nothing super intense.
Anyways, long story short, about an hour into the date we get the tab for the drinks. While we’re waiting for the bartender, she says something again like, "well it was cool meeting you, this was fun!" Lol. So, again, I’m not too sure of where she’s at, but I figure, what the hell, I'll just try to high note and go for the pull. So I say, "yeah, this has been fun, you're fun to be around … let’s continue it… let's grab some more drinks and listen to music back at my place." Again, just high noting and trying to give some plausible deniability. And she said something like, "Well... I usually don't do this, but you're cool, sure let's do that."
Smooth sailing from there. We close out the tab, grab a taxi, and go back to my place. Once we’re there, we drink some tequila and chill on the couch for a few mins. Then make out and the rest is history...
My main take-aways:
Anyways, this particular pickup happened last Wednesday evening, around 8ish. I was street-gaming around midtown Manhattan, and I saw this girl (late teens, early twenties) crossing the street to where I was standing. We were both waiting for the crosswalk, so I walked up by her side, a few feet away. I then caught her attention and used one of Gun's indirect openers.
Usually, when I do street approaches like this, I try to stay stationary and talk. But this girl seemed like she was on a mission, so we just walked in the same direction and kept talking. Along the way, she mentioned that she had just gotten out of work -- she said that she stripped at a club right by where we met -- and that she was on her way to buy a winter jacket. We talked a bit about what we both did, where we were originally from, how we liked the city...etc. Just light talk, though I teased her a bit by telling her that I was actually a stripper myself (half smirk-like so she couldn’t tell if I was being serious). From the vibe (mainly that she was continuing to walk), though, it didn’t seem like I had a great hook or anything. And, when we got to the next crosswalk with a stoplight, she said something like, "well, my store is over there, but it was cool meeting you!” So, I figured there wasn't much chance of anything coming from this particular approach...
But, I always go for the insta-date/number anyways, so I responded with something like: "Before you go, you seem like a fun person...I'm sorta curious about you because you have a different energy, I wanna figure out what it is. I know an awesome bar nearby, let's grab a quick drink before you get your jacket." Basically, just high-noting and excusing the move to get to know her better. And, sorta to my surprise, she was down to grab the drink...
So, we headed to a bar a couple blocks away. She started asking me questions about what I like to do for fun/hobbies. Whenever I get asked this, I see it as an opportunity to run a fun emotional stimulator. My go-to response now is, I'll talk about how I used to do improv acting when I first moved to the city. I then say that one of the first games taught in improv is called "Building a Story." (Basically, in the game, you go around a circle with each person in the circle contributing a word to a "story" that you make up together on the spot.) After I explain how the game works, I playfully challenge the girl with, "So are you quick on your feet, do you think you'd be good at that?" And then we always end up playing it for a bit. It gets a fun dynamic going, and it sets a good frame of us working as a team to build something. So, anyways, I ran that with her and it was fun.
After some more basic convo for a while, the topic of love/dating came up. Credit again to Gun here, I used one of his emotional stimulators/questions about the experience of love and what we'd ideally want to be loved for. That really seemed to hit with her, and at this point it seemed like she was really immersed.
At this point in the date, I felt like I had pretty good social frame (she was asking me questions back and keeping the convo going on dead spots), and I had run a few emotional stims that seemed to hit. I felt the main key I still needed to build was the sexual. One thing I’ve struggled with is sexual sub communication, e.g. through voice tonality and “bedroom eyes,” so at this point I mainly depend on some verbals or overt physical escalation to build the sexual key. One of my go-to verbals for this is talking about the first girl I ever dated, who it turned out had been a “sub” in a previous BDSM relationship. I usually bring this up anytime the topic of dating comes up, as it lets me describe some sexual themes pretty vividly. I tried doing this with this girl, but it didn’t really seem to hit.
That said, we did have some “incidental” touch going. My arm was resting on the bar in such a way that her chest would rest/brush against it every once in a while. At some point, I also ran my hand through her hair a bit. I’ve been trying to avoid this type of overt touching lately, so as not to trigger ASD, but at that point I felt like it was the only way for me to get her sexually turned on. She was receptive to it, and there was a light sexual vibe going back and forth between us, but nothing super intense.
Anyways, long story short, about an hour into the date we get the tab for the drinks. While we’re waiting for the bartender, she says something again like, "well it was cool meeting you, this was fun!" Lol. So, again, I’m not too sure of where she’s at, but I figure, what the hell, I'll just try to high note and go for the pull. So I say, "yeah, this has been fun, you're fun to be around … let’s continue it… let's grab some more drinks and listen to music back at my place." Again, just high noting and trying to give some plausible deniability. And she said something like, "Well... I usually don't do this, but you're cool, sure let's do that."
Smooth sailing from there. We close out the tab, grab a taxi, and go back to my place. Once we’re there, we drink some tequila and chill on the couch for a few mins. Then make out and the rest is history...
My main take-aways:
- Did a good job with basic persistence and emotional stimulation. Feeling too "boring” on dates has been a long-time sticking point for me, so it's been awesome to more consistently get dates really engaged, either through more emotionally-descriptive language, questions, or games
- I want to work on being more present when I’m gaming... I felt pretty in my head during this pickup, when in retrospect I could've enjoyed just vibing with her a lot more
- I also want to work on hitting the sexual key. Right now, I sorta depend on either 1-2 verbals or overt physical escalation... so I want to work on my sub-communication, e.g., getting into sexual state and projecting that through tonality, eye contact, etc
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