Seducing woman who knows I have a girlfriend?

[circlegod]

So here's the deal:

I've got a great "girlfriend," call her X, who I see once a week.

X knows I sleep with other women occasionally - it actually turns her on. Whenever she sees other women flirting with me, she gets super excited and we have amazing sex.

There's this really cute girl, Y, who's a friend of my housemate's. She's seen me with my girlfriend a few times and has been giving me doe eyes lately. She turns me on and I want to seduce her quietly - just a short fling.

The problem is she's the quiet, emotional "ethical" type - an INFP, if you know MBTI - and I worry she'll have hangups if I don't approach this properly. When she asks me, "don't you have a girlfriend?," how do I answer without coming off as a sleezebag?

I'm not sure that explaining that my "girlfriend" knows and approves will help my case.

 

[Chase]

The way I've always answered these requests was with a thoughtful, "Well... she knows how it is."

It's ambiguous enough you've not really framed yourself as a cheater or anything, but also get to avoid going into some big long explanation about how "We have an arrangement, and blah blah" or whatever else you might try to say to explain things.

Another tip is if pressed, don't use the word 'girlfriend' yourself. e.g.:

Her: "What about that girl I always see you with? Wouldn't she mind us going out?"​

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You: "Oh, well... she knows how it is with me."​

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Her: "So your girlfriend doesn't care about you meeting another woman?"​

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You: "I've never really been the sort who gets all that locked down."​

Leave it vague what the relationship is. You're avoiding two things:

1. You don't want to say "She's my girlfriend", and make the other girl feel like a.) there's zero chance for any potential relationship with you because you're already paired up, b.) you're a cheater who is cheating on his girlfriend, and c.) she'd be stepping on this other girl's toes by dating you
   
   
2. At the same time, you don't want to say "She's not my girlfriend" and sound like you're a.) throwing this girl who's loving and loyal to you under the bus / trashing her reputation (because you might well do the same to THIS girl), b.) afraid of being discovered as being a cheat so you're lying about her status as your girlfriend, and c.) implying that maybe you can't really get her to be a proper girlfriend

So you just evade putting any labels on the relationship, and just make clear that you are how you are and this girl she's seen with you knows that.

Chase

 

[Skjöldr]

The way I've always answered these requests was with a thoughtful, "Well... she knows how it is."

This is good stuff, because it could mean more than one thing. It could mean A) Your girl know you aren't exclusive B) She knows you're a free bird and so won't be surprised when you are with other girls