Sent "sexy text" and got a dry reply back

[Perturbation]

Hello all,

So background is: it's a LTR of just over 3 years, we're both older college students mid twenties. I believe our relationship started to go down after the 2nd year especially, because I was not acting the man in the relationship. I was prepared to break-up but decided to use this as an opportunity to practice some techniques before I did and possibly bring the relationship back, so I have been reading lots of articles on here. It's been mostly successful so far as she has been much more receptive of me in the relationship in all areas: sexually, emotionally, she just seems happier. I know I have long way to go to change my image however and would like your opinion on this.

It's been awhile since i've texted her anything "sexy" because I did it all wrong in the past and just came off as a horndog, which turned her off considerably. However I realize it's important to establish myself as a lover and boyfriend. We went on a quick lunch date and things went well, and at the end as I dropped her off we had a passionate kiss. She seemed to enjoy it and as I pulled away she came for another one. So much later that night we had this quick convo:

Me: (made an inside joke) because I enjoyed our kiss, your lips felt great.

Then so she knows I'm not being a horndog I quickly ended it

Me: Goodnight and Sweet dreams

In the morning:

Her: (She made another inside joke)

Her: My lips were so chapped today...I was so stressed out and dehydrated. Good morning to you I hope today wont be too crazy for you.

Her reply was kinda dry in my opinion for my passionate sexy text.
So any thoughts? Is there nothing wrong at all? Was my text too cheesy and needy? How should I respond, should I not respond at all? I'm open to all constructive criticism and advice, thanks!

 

[ray_zorse]

Overthinking it, in the context of a 3yr LTR a text convo like this is just nothing, it's of no importance... she is just saying whatever comes to mind, whatever her worries and concerns are. That said, your text did not strike me as a "sexy text" but basically supplicating. Would a dude with shitloads of girls after him, take the time to think about a goodbye kiss that occurred hours before, and even write a text about it? No, it's nothing to him, all in a day's work so to speak. BTW if you have been together 3yrs and you are not living together, it might be time to move on. Do u really think it is going somewhere?
Ray

 

[Perturbation]

I see your point, but i've always learned that in a relationship these types of texts can be used to build anticipation and help keep the spark alive. If it wasnt a relationship I would never send a text like that.

Also we havent moved in together due to the fact we are both college students living off of our parents incomes at the moment sonit wouldnt make sense although she did try at one point. I didn't want it

 

[ray_zorse]

Agreed on the building anticipation, but how you do it is by keeping it flirtatious i.e. future focused, deniable (hinting at things in a way you know she will get) and from a giving place. Your msg was past focused, too direct (no double meaning or deniability) and from a taking place (you enjoying her soft lips -- subtext is she's the prize). As an example of how to do it, not a good example but the only one that springs to mind atm -- my pregnant girlfriend texted me something like "baby is tired", I replied "I will be home soon [I am on a trip], we will rock baby to sleep every night" she replied "hahaha" -- she got my double meaning. That I will GIVE her lots of sex when I am home. As to SEXY text the way to do it is to seek compliance in small bites. Like instead of sending her a dick pic, tell her you want to see her breast/nipple/butt/whatever. When she sends a pic reward her but with slightly less investment. By doing this and a bit of prodding/hinting "what happens next... I can't imagine" or "show me how to use this, I forgot"... I had her send me (eventually) a detailed video of her getting herself off... yum
Rau

 

[Perturbation]

Ahhh ok I understand my mistakes now. It really was needy I need to work on being a bit more clever with any flirtatious texts and not frame her as the prize. That was exactly the kind of advice I was looking, thank you very much! Im trying to take away as much from this as possible and if it ends, i'm honestly fine with it.

 

[ray_zorse]

No worries mate. I am sorry if I sounded critical as I didn't mean to be. It's good u can take it in the spirit it's intended. God knows I need a lot of help with my game atm. hahaha
Ray