Serious Question: What are your friends like?

[Zoro]

The idea that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend most time with really gets me thinking sometimes.

I want to know what your friends are like... especially those advanced playas, and also those who have been in the game for awhile but are struggling.

Personally at the moment, I'm pretty friendless. I cut out a lot of people from my life and ran solo for awhile. Girls and band members made up my small social circle. I'd see old friends from time to time but I'd keep those with bad habits at arms length. I really didn't like doing what they were doing with their life and focused on myself. Definitely happy with the decision, but I've always longed for some equally ambitious dudes to rub elbows and chase skirts and build shit with. I had a few people like this, mainly fellow band members which was cool, but no one really crazy ambitious like me.

Back in high school I was friends with the popular kids. I had been lucky in fourth grade to befriend and lock in the position as best buds with some dudes who turned into real lady killers. By mere association I had girls throwing themselves at me (too bad I fumbled and mumbled most) and I think that period of life instilled in me a first hand look at what was possible.

Fast foward to now and those dudes are living the dream, 9-5 dead ends and girlfriends who pale in comparison to so many girls I"ve seen them bone.
And me? I've come a looooong way, I moved away to a sunny paradise, I'm close to breaking into solid intermediate level game, and I'm invigorated with life, yet no where near my finish line.

Most of the progress I've had lone wolfing it. But recently I've been meeting people with super social skills who make me feel like a noob all over again. I love it. I've noticed that these dudes hang around some similarly social and positive people. Best of all one weekend with one of them up'd my game to a new level and bashed my "approach anxiety" with a lead pipe.

I feel like its time for the wolf to run with a pack for a little bit.

 

[disciple99]

hey mate
i see two types of guys one nice guys second asshole well two three yeras ago i used to be around nice guys (my best friend is nice guy) but that led to issue for me low self essteem,jealousy,manipulativeness etc. so now i prefer to stay away from them
now i go solo but even for time pass i will be around assholes and bad boys but still go solo and be a lone wolf "wooooowwe wowe wowe" and i prefer it for sake of my sainity and i never had female freinds never burned by friendzone but if i look for freind i will look for geniun man

 

[Zoro]

Hey Disciple99,

Thanks for sharing.

Do you feel any different being a lone wolf now? What happened to those feelings of low self esteem and jealousy when you cut out the nice guy?

 

[disciple99]

it was all diffucult at first i want to go back to them but then i learned a lesson through a collection of events that you are alone in this world and you have to cut a poisioned limb from your body before it poisions whole body it hard at first but after some time i started to live my freedom no one to define myself and i shed my bad habits which i "learned" like low self esteem jelaousy cowerdiness and started the road on self improvement now i like to spend time with people who challange me not who make me feel safe but i still some times hang out nice guy but not let them affect me mind you
have some natural bad habits like laziness,low temper etc, will get them rid too hope this helps
share about you too
forgot to written "share" in above line

 

[Zoro]

I see,

While we are alone in this world in a "no one can help myself but myself" kind of way, I think that we are not alone. Everyone shares the struggles of being human and in that we are together. We are connected in many many ways.

I would love to see what being around highly motivated and positive productive people would do to your laziness and temper!

 

[HellAtlantic]

I feel I missed out on a lot as far as chasing girls goes because my longtime squad wasn't really the girl chase type. I'm 38 now and back in my late teens and early 20s we were mostly a hang out and drink a lot and make fun of each other squad. These days I don't hang with them all that much. Can't remember the last time I did but we're all still friends. I will either ride solo these days or hang with coworkers after work cuz I wouldn't mind banging one or two of my female coworkers. I guess my current interests don't align anymore with my old friends and that's certainly fine. You're not supposed to be the same person that you were 10 or 15 yr's ago.

 

[PrettyDecent]

J Wick,

That's some killer progress you've made in your lifestyle.

I'd been pretty friendless up until a year and a half ago or so. At that point, I made friends with a really talented natural who showed me some weaknesses in my game. Then I met another natural who's good in every social arena. Those guys and I share an apartment now, and I'd say this has been the single biggest method for me to jump my social aptitude from beforehand.

From this, I'm in a decent sized social circle with some pretty smart people. There are social circles with higher social aptitudes, but these people tend to be older; around 30 or so and, at 21, I usually don't share many of the same interests as them, so I can't just rock up with the social aptitude I have now. Still need some time.

But yeah, if I didn't have those friends, I'd still be making the same mistakes I was overlooking two years ago. The difference is pretty substantial.

~Nick

 

[Zoro]

The difference is pretty substantial.

Lone wolfing it and building self reliance and then finding a mentor and quality people to rub off their good qualities on you. Sounds like a good plan.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I have tons of friends from when I was running events/nightclubs; I don't really roll with them anymore because their interests don't align with mine. Most of them are more interested in doing drugs/partying their life away then making money/going to school/getting girls/going to the gym (which are my 4 main focal point interests). I'm extremely social and have no trouble making new friends but I just haven't found what I'm looking for in a crew yet, I still go hangout with the old social circles from time to time but the fact that they aren't doing shit just annoys me and I tend to leave early.

Most of the guys I'm going out to do pickup with are shittier than me :/, most don't have the balls to even start approaches or talk while I'm approaching groups; so I almost have to "power lead" both of our interactions... Even the one's that do are not naturals perse, I didn't realize (back when I saw a few of these guys get laid occasionally) that they have no "conscience game", they really do just "get lucky".

I hope I can find people who embody those 4 qualities like myself, we'll see.

 

[Bboy100]

Since you also asked for those who are still struggling to break through...here's my main group of friends:

4 girls (two of whom are moderately attractive, two of whom are straight ugly). They're pretty typical college girls. They go to school, have jobs, and party on the weekend. Certainly nothing bad about them persey. But also nothing exceptional. They're fun to hang out with, but I'm definitely looking to move on from them if I find a better group of friends.

2 guys-

1. My roommate: He's a little bit older and probably more mature than I am. In terms of his ability to pick up girls- he's a pretty interesting one. In the limited time that he was single last year, I had never seen him do cold approach. But I suspect that just like most others, he would not be very good at it (at first) if he tried. However, he seems to be pretty naturally good at socializing compared to other guys I see on campus. Like...he's naturally very good at social circle game. I can tell based on my conversations with him that he has no idea why girls in social circle are attracted to him, so he's not consciously doing it. He just has some good mindsets and a good understanding of how to socialize in general. His weakness is the same as mine. ...He's terrible at meeting new people and bringing them into our social circle. He seems to only be able to work with what he's already got.

Outside of socializing, he seems be pretty average. He goes to school for financing, wants to become a banker when he graduates. He goes to the gym, studies, watches Netflix with his GF. Pretty typical college kid stuff.

2. The other guy is also an interesting character. He's very social, very good at getting girls to want to hang out with him and very good at meeting people in general. He makes great first impressions, has lots of friends...but doesn't really get laid very often. Mainly because he has no idea how to show to show sexual interest in a women. I wouldn't characterize him as a "nice guy" by any means. Cause he doesn't supplicate to people nor does he suck up to women like most doormats do. He's not a "pussy" nor a "wimp" by any stretch of the imagination. His problem is more that he struggles specifically in the domain of showing interest/making a move on women. Like...he'll get women attracted to him, stay friends with them forever, then he'll never make a move, so attraction expires, and he ends up in the friend-zone.

Outside of socializing, he has a lot to show for himself, but also makes some really stupid decisions. He came from a family which had nothing. He's paying for his own school, works two jobs, is taking more than a full courseload. And somehow, he's doing well in all that. But at the same time, he's also gotten into 3 car accidents this year, has gotten a DUI, gets drunk on an almost daily basis, has broken people's stuff multiple times (cause he does stupid shit when he's drunk or high).

Really...the only person I would want to keep in my life in the long run out of all these people is my roommate. So for the most part, I'm looking to find a better social circle atm. Admittedly, I'm also very aware that I probably need to increase my own value before a more desirable social group would want to hang out with me.

Edit: Since you guys were talking about this earlier, I just want to mention that I've never been a "lone wolf". And I would never want to be. As human beings, one of our basic needs is to connect with other human beings. I don't know how Chase and others lived a period of their lives with no friends or anyone close to them, but for me, that would be living hell. Always have friends. Even if they're not the ones you want right now, it's better to have someone than no one. If for no other reason, just to keep your sanity.